Dear Midlife...

In his book "The Side Road: Finding Joy and Purpose Though the Twists and Turns of Life" our guest today, Link Forester, takes his readers on a journey of self-discovery and finding purpose amidst life's unexpected twists and turns. As a seasoned traveler and adventurer, Forester draws from his own experiences, navigating the ups and downs of life, to offer practical insights and wisdom to readers. 

Baby, girl, We KNOW you are on the "road less traveled", "the side road" the "detour"...the "we don't know where the hell this road is going" road in midlife. This shit is messy, but it's all a beautiful, scary, crazy journey isn't it?! And you know, We get a choice through all of this messiness. We get to chose, this path or... that path. We can CHOSE to pursue happiness or...chose complacency.

We're choosing the pursuit of happiness. Life is too short and in his book, Link inspires readers to embrace the unexpected detours and challenges that life presents, and to find joy and meaning in the journey. And we're here to tell you that sometimes it's necessary to go off the beaten path, to explore new avenues and possibilities, and to trust in your own inner compass to guide you towards your true purpose. 

And YOU know that we are on this journey with you. We are all navigating the messy middle with a rare blend of humility, faith, and (hopefully) a good fucking sense of humor, because this shit is for REAL. But, know you don't have to go it alone. You have your girlfriends to guide you. In this episode, Link teaches us:

You can contact Link at linkforesterauthor.com and get social with Link on FaceBook!

We want to bring more women like you with us on this journey. We want to form a tribe of empathy and compassion to support one another through all joys and challenges that midlife brings to us. But, we can't do that without your help. Please share your favorite episode with one friend this week or leave us a review so that we can "link" arms (pun TOTALLY intended) and take on midlife together. You can find us on Instagram and join our Facebok Group.

So, in this episode, Trinity shares with us how she spent 10 years of her life bound to an extremely religious christian cult in which she was brainwashed, manipulated and forced to adhere to their restrictive practice and policies and made other sacrifices for her community in order to reach salvation in the afterlife.

I can't imagine what that must have been like. But, interestingly, I feel like a lot of women still willingly sacrifice our sense of self in different ways and succumb to the "programming" (if you will) of societal norms and lose site of our Self (with a capital S). We do it for the greater good of our families, our children and what (we perceive) to be our own wellbeing...In return, there is great reward...but, I often think about what is lost in the process. And the reality is that once you're part of this community and you depend on it for shelter, love, community, it is so hard to extract yourself and just ...walk away.

That's exactly what our courageous guest today, Vera LeRee did. She was also born into an extreme polygamist cult to her mother, who was the 3rd wife of her father, and was one of 57 children. Vera recently released her book  "Dad Scares Me, God Scares Me: My Journey from Polygamist Cult to Freedom" and shares with us today her gripping account of growing up in this cult, to her escape, and how she was able to build a successful life from nothing.

Vera shares her struggles and triumphs as she sought to break free from the oppressive control of her father, husband, and their polygamist God. Her story is one of hope, resilience, and the indomitable human spirit.

She went on to build a successful multi-million dollar business and pursue her passions for psychology, health, and wellness. Vera is now the founder of Purevee Organics, a supplement company for women, and a mentor for individuals looking to break free from their own mental bondage and achieve self-love and confidence. 

In today's episode Vera teaches

1. Listen to and honor what your heart is telling you. It may not be easy, but you are worth it!
2. Women remain entrapped....in a relationship they are no longer happy with, in a life that feels inauthentic, in a job that has no meaning because they are juuussstt comfortable enough. Being comfortable outweighs the fear of the unknown so they accept their current state as the "norm" despite the impact is has on their spirit.
3. In these moments of quiet desperation, start to get curious and question what life could be like.
4. In order to get on the other side of fear you have to push through the fear. In order to do this, sit with the fear. Imagine this fear in your head and then pull out a piece of paper and list 20 benefits that will come with facing your fear
5. In turn, you can equally reflect on the most negative and difficult experiences your life and also list 20 benefits of having had that experience. This exercise helps you move beyond your own inner narrative about your unworthiness and feel empowered.

And if you are also out there struggle to find your own identity. Maybe you have (similarly) given over yourself to everyone else, we are here to remind you of your worth and your strength. We are here to remind you that you're not alone. We're your sisters, your friends your tribe and are here to lift you up and support you. Please join our Facebook community, follow us on Instagram, and leave us a review HERE. We need your help in brining this support and wisdom to other women just like you!

You know I (Shelby) once had a friend who told her at a party that she hated being her friend. Of course, she was drunk and maybe a little bit high...but, Shelby was taken aback by the comment nonetheless. But, when she asked why, her reply was even more astounding...You know what she said...?!

I know you're on the edge of you'r seat or, perhaps, you're actually laughing that I even asked why. Her answer was that she is too perfect...Like what the hell, right? She said, you "have two kids, you're a single mom and...SOMEHOW...you always have your shit together! You look good and you always bake homemade cookies for the holiday parties and the staff and I just can't take it!"

At first Shelby was angered by the comment. But, then thought, "well you know she's right?! Girl, perfectionism is Shelby's friggen best friend. She keep it all tight...maybe so tight that she doesn't get to experience the joy in the messiness of life. What do you think would happen if you just...let it go and forgave yourself for being Imperfect?"

We dive into this question today with our guest, Vicki Smith. And, don't worry, we also get into Trinity's obsession with "fixing" everything! Because this is what often happens when we experience some kind of trauma. For Trinity, as a child, she had to fix all of the problems to ensure her people were safe under tumultuous circumstances and she still does that today. Shelby felt like being perfect was the only way to garner attention and affection from her ever-busy executive parents. She still feels like she has to hustle for love. But, Vicki teaches us that the internal narratives that show up as different parts of ourselves don't know that we've grown up and no longer need to be protected.

Vicki is a psychotherapist and a coach who is in private practice for over 20 years as well as a mindfulness meditation teacher who has studies yoga and Buddhism. And, Shelby...take note, Vicki works with people pleasers and perfectionists as a specialty now and was trained in Internal Family Systems or IFS in 2012 and received it as a client before that to let go of the intense anger she felt towards her father, who she now suspects suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder. Because of the IFS approach, she separated herself from his toxicity and forgave him and healed herself. Vicki now uses these tools as foundational in the work she does with her clients.

She created Power to the Pleasers in 2020 and her approach is to use the 8 Cs of Self-Leadership (which we discuss in this episode) to help the different parts within each of us know that they no longer need to so vigilantly protect us. People pleasers are usually pretty harsh with themselves and this approach helps them begin to treat themselves with more kindness and shift the pattern of self defeat.

In this episode, Vicki teaches us: 

1. We all have an "internal counsel" of different parts of ourselves that "govern" our life and keep us safe. The Managers are the first line of defense and how we show our selves to the outer world. The second line of defense are the protectors and the third are the firefighters (which includes any kind of addictive behavior used to take our nervous system way down.
2. Ask our parts what they need from us and what would happen if they stopped protecting us...in truth, we may no longer need protecting, but our parts are unaware that we are no longer in danger. By asking them these questions, we can help our parts relax from their soldier post.
3. when one part is alleviated of their duties, it allows more space for the Self (with a capital "S").
4. we can treat our parts like we would any close friend. we listen to them, we show them compassion we embrace them, because, in the end, we are really giving these things to ourselves, when we do.
5. While we often look for the quick fix in our current society, working with all of your parts is a beautiful and gradual unfolding on learning new ways to approach life.

You can find Vicki:

website | https://www.powertothepleasers.com 

Instagram | @power.to.the.pleasers/

Look girl....if you're out there and that inner voice inside your head is telling you that you're not enough...not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough...This episode is for you and know that you're not alone! We're all in the messy middle together and we got your back. Leave us a review and share this episode with a friend, or your dentist, or your housekeeper, or a colleague, or the mail carrier or whomever you think needs to hear it. We love you!

Make sure we're connected

Instagram | @dearmidlife

Facebook | DearMidlife

You know, women in midlife are often starting over in some respects. This time in our lives can be a period of rebirth, reinvention and (if you're Gweneth Paltrow or one of the other fancy schmancy celebs out there) "re-coupling". Regardless, building new relationships at this time in life is imperative, but not always easy.

That is an understatement! Girl, have you tried dating these days? And yes...I'm talking to you out there? EVERYBODY comes with some kind of baggage...and when I say baggage, I'm talking about those old-timey trunks they used to pack to take on a ship across the Atlantic kind of baggage. Lol and its hard to unpack THAT kind of baggage and, at the same time, show up with the kind of transparency and vulnerability it takes to forge new relationships when the stakes are high and the relationships are complex and with more than one player involved.

Forging romantic relationships not only requires navigating your potential partner's history, but the children and familial ties they bring into the relationship as well. Our guest today, Maria Natapov, is the daughter of divorced immigrants and a stepparent herself and this led her to her work now as a Stepparenting Coach and a Rapid Resolution Therapy Practitioner to help others, heal, expand and grow as she provides support to help her clients navigate these complex relationships to transform chaos into harmony.

Today, she shares with us how we can make small shifts during our most difficult seasons to work through whatever challenge we may be facing. And she reminds us that we already have all the gifts and everything we need inside of us right now to do it, it’s just about unlocking the path to it.  

Maria is an expert at helping people navigate new experiences such as stepparenting or blending a family, or building new relationships, in general, where the stakes are high, there are multiple stakeholders each with their own specific needs, and it's necessary to quickly create and build rapport and connection.  She also specializes in helping people identify and heal trauma through the Rapid Resolution Therapy modality which helps them shift unwanted or disturbing thoughts, emotions, and actions in a painless, quick, pleasant way (yes, you heard that right...pleasant) with lasting results. 

1. When forging new, complex relationships where there are a lot of parties involved and the stakes are high, jumping in with both feet may not be the right approach. It does take time and it is important to know this: identify and get clear on your own boundaries and values (such as how to approach discipline and parenting and what you're comfortable taking on as a step-parent) and then gain alignment with the other parties involved.
2. You are exactly where you need to be right now.
3. Building trust means being vulnerable yourself. Show up authentically, as you are, and don't pretend to be something you're not.
4. Acknowledge and embrace difficult moments and invite conversation about them so as to diffuse the negative energy. Otherwise, the tension within these moments builds and becomes amplified.
5. Our brains are wired to fill in any gaps in factual information with our own narratives and imagination and these perceptions may or may NOT be true. When navigating difficult conversations, make sure you're coming to the table in a regulated frame of mind.

And when you're in the process of unpacking that big old trunk, honey, and need some help or support from like-minded women going through the SAME shit, we're your girls. Join our Facebook Community, make sure we're connected on Instagram and share this podcast with a friend. No one needs to navigate the messy middle alone. 

To learn more about how to work with Maria, visit her website at SynergisticStepparenting.com

Website offer: https://synergisticstepparenting.com/work

LinkedIn | @synergisticstepparenting

Facebook | maria.natapov

Here’s a link to Maria's brief (under 9 min!) podcast episode on Rapid Resolution Therapy: https://synergisticstepparenting.com/what-is-rapid-resolution-therapy/

In this episode, I share story about running with my daughter in the mornings and how difficult it can be at first to try something new and form new habits. We had to talk through how she can do hard things.

Our guest today Katherine Louis has a podcast called "You Can and You Will" to remind her audience of women everywhere that YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS! Katherine is a Business & Mindset Mentor for female leaders and artists.  She guides and supports women along their way to living that exceptional career and life they didn´t think they could, working on their self-esteem and finding their full potential.

Women empowerment is her mission (cue "I am Woman Hear Me Roar") as the majority of women still live below their potential. Today we discuss that sometimes even the most successful women still struggle to find their zone of genius and to live authentically.

Katherine hails from Germany and has been an entrepreneur for 16 years in the space of self-development and communication. She now coaches and mentors females to let go of the past and believe in themselves.

In today's episode, Katherine Louis teaches us:

1. We must find and operate in our zone of genius.
2. Whatever beliefs your caregivers adopted and imposed upon you will be ingrained or "programmed" within you from an early age. These old narratives can be a barrier to success if we don't change our mindset
3. Society tells us we have to be and do it all, have a job, be a mom, be the perfect spouse ad look like the models in the magazines! It take courage to ask for help. Life and Success is not found in perfection. It is discovered when you go outside of your comfort zone!
4. When building new habits you're, literally, forming new neuropathways in your brain. That takes time (at least 3 weeks or longer) and you will most certainly slip up sometimes. You have to just get back up and do it again next time.
5. What you're looking for is already inside of you.

You can find Katherine at:

Website | Katherinelouis.com

Spotify | You Can and You Will Podcast

Apple Podcasts | You Can and You Will

Girl, we know forging a new path isn't always easy! We're here to tell you that you don't have to go this journey alone. We are here and are forming a tribe of women in the middle who will support and lift one another up along the way. We encourage you to join our community on Facebook, follow us on Instagram and share this episode with a friend who needs to hear it. We love you!

Our next guest, Elle Hart, took the phrase "empty nest" to the extreme when she simultaneously sent her children off to college and got divorced at the same time. Girl don't mess around! AND, after raising 3 boys and being a stay-at-home mom for 25 years and without ever having had a real job before, she picked up her life and moved halfway across the country to California, where she began life in MID life from a blank slate. That takes TREMENDOUS guts.

But the thing about adversity is that it brings to light who we are and what we are made of and in this instance, this rang particularly true for Elle. While working in a school, Elle began exploring and became a practitioner of emotional intelligence. During this time, she discovered the Clifton Strengths Finder as a tool to help her identify her natural strengths and gifts, as well as her deficits using this unbiased assessment.

It was this awareness that helped her recognize how she could bring her own gifts into the world to help others. She developed a process that helps her clients gain what she has coined as "self-intelligence". And her natural way of connecting with her clients on such a personalized level helps bring clarity to their strengths and helps them feel empowered every day.

Elle's story is an inspiring example that we are stronger and more courageous than ever as we navigate "the middle" of our lives. It is NEVER too late to understand who YOU are and to find new ways to bring your gifts into this world.

In this episode, Elle teaches us:

1. Live in the present moment. Forgive yourself of the past and the mistakes you may have made. While you can learn from them, you cannot change them. Don't focus too much on trying to control the future. The present moment is all we have.
2. Let go of expectations...the ones you have of other people, the ones other people have of you and the expectations you have of yourself.
3. When you understand your strengths and lean into your gifts, you will feel empowered. Stop trying to be someone you are not. Living in MISalignment may be what has you feeling like you're stuck.
4. When asked to tell others about ourselves, we typically start by listing the roles we play. When you have awareness of your personal strengths and characteristics, you can start the dialogue using terms that demonstrate who YOU are and what you bring to the table.
5. Knowledge is power. Apply your strengths to the 4 foundational areas in life: belief in yourself, your relationships, career path and health and wellness. Sometimes, we can compare our strengths with those who play a prominent role in our lives (spouses/colleagues) to see where our strengths coincide and where they clash. This helps us to build stronger relationships in which we replace "expectations" with "resepectations" and learn to forgive, respect and understand the strengths of others.

You can find Elle on:

Website | www.feelempoweredeveryday.com/gps

LinkedIn | @elle-hart

IG | @feelempoweredeveryday

Facebook | feelempoweredeveryday

YouTube | Feel Empowered Everyday

We'd love to know what gifts you're most proud of! Leave us a review or join our FB group. We are here to support one another on this journey together.

While we live on opposite sides of the country and there were years when we were in rare contact with one another, our friendship of 17 years has grown so strong over time.  We truly respect one another's values and perspectives. We each bring our own unique gifts and strengths to the friendship. Trinity has an inner wisdom and fierce confidence that is unparalled.  It's this confidence that makes us feel like we can achieve whatever we set out to do.  And when I say "fierce" ohhh girl! Trinity is everyone's advocate and shares her voice with the eloquence of a powerful orator so that people truly lean in to hear what it is she has to say. She's a natural born leader and has this charisma that people FEEL when she walks in a room. And, best of all, she makes all of us laugh our asses off on a daily basis. Shelby is a natural born nurturer (perhaps, to a fault) and is always eager to listen. Where Trinity is spontaneous, Shelby tends to be more structured and focused and, in this way, there is a balance between them. Shelby has her silly side too and together we laugh often, provide continuous empathy and support to one another and can't imagine life without the other.

And today our guest, Brenda Ridgley, supports women; who have lost themselves in their roles as wife, mother and professional, find their personal tribe of women to lift them up, help them "reparent" their inner child and give to one another the nurturing we seem to be so good at giving to EVERYONE else, but ourselves

And, for so many of us in midlife, we've spent so much of our time giving ourselves over to our spouse, our careers, our children, that we lose who WE are and what is important to us. Brenda helps her clients discover their WHY. So many women at this age and stage in life cannot articulate why they do what they do and their answer to the question "what is your why" or "purpose" is usually ~ my family. Motherhood is noble and important but there needs to be more that is for and about her, the woman.

Brenda is an author, speaker and girlfriend guru who loves helping women connect, find success, and discover joy through friendship. Her mission is to support women who have lost themselves in their roles as wife and mother and encourage them to nurture feminine friendships to build their own Tribe of support. Through her workshops, coaching, retreats, and podcast ~ Find Your Lady Tribe, Brenda helps women connect and communicate with respect, love and trust. She holds an MA in human resources and has spent decades cultivating her own Tribe.

In her book "Lady and the Tribe" Brenda celebrates the power of female friendships, shares insights into the ways they enrich women’s lives and offers strategies for creating, strengthening, and enjoying these relationships to the fullest.

In this episode, Brenda teaches us:

You can find Brenda on:

Website | www.BrendaRidgley.com

Girl...it is OUR goal to create a tribe of women who are striving to navigate midlife so that we do NOT have to go on this crazy journey alone! We are here for you. Let's band together to support one another. Please join our Dear Midlife community on FB or follow us on Instagram and let's do midlife together!

Our guest today, Esther Avant, shares a statistic that 80% of our inner thoughts are negative. She believes, this is one reason it is soo difficult to take what she calls, compassionate ownership, of our health and lives. Esther is a sports nutritionist, personal trainer, health and weight loss coach and Owner of EA Coaching. She provides holistic health and lifestyle coaching and specializes in helping women, generally over 40, reach their health and weight loss goals. She supports them by helping them learn and master the exercise and nutrition "Big Rocks," and taking complex and overwhelming topics (like menopause!) and simplifying them so that the individual feels ready, willing, and able to take meaningful action.

But, our conversation with Esther focuses on so much more than just the obvious aspects of exercise and nutrition and, instead, focuses on the less well understood components of mindset work and lifestyle change.. We take a deep dive into the root cause of our own personal roadblocks to change (in general) and our continuous habit as women to show up for EVERYONE else, BUT ourselves.

 Esther teaches us that we have to start to rebuild trust with ourselves by consistently making and then fulfilling the small...then larger commitments we make to ourselves. In doing so...we prove to ourselves that we can show up, withstand things that are difficult, push ourselves out of our comfort zone and thrive. We CAN DO HARD THINGS ladies. We HAVE to do hard things to live the life we aspire to. Esther believes if more women prioritized their health, they’d be able to use those same principles to unleash the confidence and focus they all need to leave their mark on the world

EA Coaching has helped hundreds of women realize that they're not too old, it's not too late, and they don't need to accept, "maybe this is just middle age." In this episode, Esther teaches us:

1. Making lifestyle changes that stick requires showing ourselves the same compassion and empathy we would show to another person whom we love an care about.
2. Getting to a place where you love your body is a process that takes time. While we're navigating these shifts, take time to control and curate what you're exposed to on social media because what you consume has an impact on your progress and self-talk. The noise is not improving your life.
3. Be intentional about who you surround yourself with and curate your own "advisory board". Taking compassionate ownership of your life and health is easier when the women you surround yourself with are practicing the same habits.
4. We don't realize the number of complex issues at play that prevent us from changing our habits and shifting our lifestyle. These can range from the "food centric" nature of social society to more deeply rooted internal narratives where we tell ourselves we are a priority or that it isn't worth the risk of failing...again.
5. When we continue to make commitments to ourselves and then NOT follow through, we begin to lose trust in ourselves. Taking compassionate ownership of our lives and healths means we have to rebuild trust in ourselves, slowly but surely, and start showing up for ourselves the way we show up for everyone else.

You can find more about Esther at:

Website | www.estheravant.com

Facebook | eawellnesscoaching

Instagram | @esther.avant

Please join our FB Group and follow us on Instagram. Please leave us a review and let us know what is ONE thing YOU will do this week to show up for yourself and start to rebuild your own personal trust. We love you and want you to know that you are not alone. Let's do midlife together and support one another as we strive to live our best lives.

xoxo Trinity and Shelby

We've been talking for some time about those moments in our lives that have become sticking points for us. What if there was a way that we could let go of those moments and reset our thinking so we can move beyond our own sticking points? Today our guest, Carolina Suero, helps us harness the power of hypnotherapy to do just that. Through this powerful tool, Carolina helps us and others reconnect to the resources already within them to dive deep into our subconscious mind to rewire our negative thoughts. She specializes in working with individuals struggling to resolve issues with abandonment, stress & anxiety, worry & overwhelm, relationships, self-doubt & lack of confidence, limiting beliefs & self-sabotaging behaviors, or just feeling stuck/trapped. 

In our episode today, Carolina explains the subconscious mind and how we can use it to our advantage. She takes us through the process of hypnosis and how it's a GREAT tool for illuminating, accessing, and connecting with our internal power to expand our personal growth, healing, and transformation. It’s safe, natural, efficient, and effective...with a side of relaxation. 

Carolina is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist. She’s passionate about helping empower and inspire others to live an amazing life. She works with her clients to help them align their minds for success, own their inner light, and step into their best selves. She does this by helping them clear the subconscious limiting beliefs holding them back from achieving their ultimate vision of personal and professional success. And today we'll share our own personal experiences of how Carolina helped US to resolve our own subconscious narratives to move beyond these traumas and sticking points.

1. We are in hypnosis at lease twice a day, when we are just waking up and when we are falling asleep. So, it is ideal to take advantage of this by winding down our day with positive thoughts and to journal or meditate first thing in the morning.
2. We are only born with 2 fears, the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. All of our other fears are learned. BUT, anything we can learn we can UNlearn or replace with a new learning.
3. Our conscious mind controls 10% of our choices, while the subconscious mind governs 90%. So, it is primarily the subconscious mind that can sabotage us when trying to adopt better habits and practices by relying on old narratives of what was locked into our subconscious at an early age of what is "safe" or "not safe" what we need and don't need. Hypnosis allows us to bypass this critical filter and reprogram the subconscious.
4. Therapeutic hypnosis allows us to go deep down to access the love, self-worth and hidden messages and associated meanings that live deep within us and were ingrained prior to the development of our critical filter.
5. We always have the power of choice. There is power in knowing we have a CHOICE. Change is a choice. What and who we choose to give energy to, is also a choice. 

You can find Carolina at:

IG: @TheCarolinaSuero

Facebook| @thecarolinasuero

Website Offer| https://www.carolinasuero.com

If you're loving this podcast, please join our Facebook Group and follow us on Instagram. Please give us a review on your podcast platform of choice. We want to connect women everywhere because there is power in having a community of like minded women striving to be their best selves in midlife, but we need your support to do so!

Our episode today is about the power of our own stories. It started me thinking, Trin, that we haven't truly shared our own stories with our listener...

So, the question Trininty asks is, "which story should I share?" We have so many sides and facets to our stories. Trinity once was the scared child, born to a white mother and black father who were both part of the black panther movement. The child who was scooped out of school by her mother after she was threatened by her father and fled to live under assumed names. And now...this woman feels like she has to fix everything to keep those around her protected in some way.

Or...then, there's the share the story about Trinity's role as the badass mom and wife, who was the breadwinner of the family keeping it ALL together as she traveled the country in various roles of ever-increasing responsibility. All while, simultaneously, remaining involved in every school project, cheering at every basketball game from 2nd grade through high school and attending every choir performance. OR Did you want to know about the divorced version of Trinity? The previous version of her life looked so perfect to everyone looking in. But, behind that version was the truth of a marriage that was cold, lonely, and desperately broken. This woman left her one-sided marriage, to save her own soul, and to teach her son the love and respect that a woman deserves and to search for peace, joy, and warmth.

And, then, who is Trinity now? She's a corporate executive trying to move a company forward by day, and find meaning, purpose and financial freedom in a side gig so I can live a life of joy and not have to pay penance to "the man" anymore. And what about Shelby?

What story should Shelby share? Our stories are fairly different. Shelby could talk about her nomadic early childhood (which no doubt shaped her outgoing personality) and the young girl who lost her mother at age 7 and who's father quickly remarried a remarkable woman, who was beautiful, perfect and driven for success. Of course, this suited her father, who was an executive for an NFL team. Shelby's stepmom rose from secretary to CEO of her company. So, she had two parents who were busy executives, set high bars for their children and were fantastic role models, but left her feeling like she was never enough....This is where the fiercely independent, over-achieving, people pleaser was born.

Or there's the world traveler Shelby...who has lived and worked around the world In a quest to find herself or maybe to find her worth and build connections with others. It started with an internship in college in Mexico, followed by a world tour with a global program called Up with People and then work in Africa...which she loved, but had to abandon to leave her tumultuous marriage.

Similar to Trinity, Shelby was in a 16 year roller-coaster relationship with a funny, charismatic, alcoholic who was also a covert narcissist and who she thought was the love of her life. However, for anyone who's been in a narcissistic relationship, you can relate to the fact that her husband could be your best friend or worst enemy and she never knew who she was coming home to. She suffered from ongoing mental abuse, (sometimes) physical abuse and gaslighting that kept her small, confused and still causes her to sometimes question her worth. But, these experiences have given Shelby some serious fucking grit, resilience and independence that allowed her to leave that situation and THRIVE on her own.

Today, Shelby is staring down 50 as a single mom raising two teenage girls doing ALL the things with little support. Who is, just like Trinity, a busy executive trying to find her purpose and financial freedom and show her girls that you can live the life you create for yourself.

While we are imperfect...there is sooo much beauty and fucking LIFE in those stories! And, somewhere in there, we found each other...Shelby was the consultant and Trinity was the customer. And, while our career paths diverged for 10 years, our friendship remained strong and we're now partners in our day jobs and working hand in hand to put this podcast out into the world. And our guest today, Monica Wisdom, is and educator, coach and mentor and is here to share with us HER story because telling our story empowers us and also helps others who share fragments of our story know they are not alone.

We know our journey has been sweeter with the strength of our friendship. AND sharing our stories helps us to let go by getting to the core of our triggers and letting go of what is no longer serving us and stepping into our dreams in a whole new way. We become the experiences we believe to be true. Monica reminds us that there is another truth for us to understand, we are powerful divine beings. If we see ourselves in this way, we have a new set of possibilities to explore. In today's episode, Monica teaches us: 

1. We do not end...we continue....and when we do, we have to ask the question, "why are you still here?"
2. Our story is our superpower. We can write this story to change lives, build businesses, to impact others and it is the one thing we own that no one can take away from us. Why we do and say the things that we do is typically rooted in our story of origin.
3. When you are able to surrender to something bigger than yourself, magic happens
4. We have to find our own path to healing. Therapy doesn't work for everyone. Take time to find what works for you. Sharing our story and being vulnerable can be the key that unlocks freedom.
5. Everything that comes to us is really just feedback. When you are experiencing a trigger, look into the past to discover the origin of your reaction in that moment. Ask WHY this situation became a trigger.The answer lays in the past.

Now it's time to tell us YOUR story! We'd love to hear more about you! Please subscribe and leave us a review. Tell us who you are and why you love the Dear Midlife podcast! Our goal is to build a community of women so that we all have someone to turn to when we have a story to share. We want to be able to support women just like you and to let you know YOU are not alone in YOUR journey.

You can find Monica at

Website | monicawistomhq.com

Instagram | @monicawisdom

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