Dear Midlife...

If you've ever been to New Orleans, today's guest has a name you won't forget...Ben Yeh (pronounced just like that sweet treat from the south the beignet). Not only does he have a name that resembles a sweet pastry, in today's episode Ben lays on us some sweet wisdom....and girl, let me tell you...we were eating up every word.

Ben is a business and transformation coach on his 3rd chapter in life, as he says. He began in real estate, then became an investment officer investing over $1 billion dollars for a private family of restauranteurs (where he gained tremendous insights into how a business is run and how to accumulate and invest wealth) and now he's taking these years of business and entrepreneurial wisdom and sharing that with his clients and with us today.

So good! And he uses his investment experience, business coaching and his personal, spiritual journey to empower heart-centered entrepreneurs on how to gain clarity on their "true north" and thrive in life. And to our Listener out there who is feeling stuck...Ben helps others live into a space of expansion where the possibilities are limitless.

Ben launched Boom Vision Podcast in 2021, a show about health, wealth and higher self! For anyone with a burning desire to live an enriching life: physically, mentally and spiritually, Ben and his guests share valuable perspectives & action steps to help you build optimal health, create aligned wealth, and connect to your higher self. It starts with a powerful mindset!

In this episode, Ben shares with us to:

1. Understand that health, wealth and higher self...are all interconnected
2. Focus on 3 core pillars - imagination (what you see internally) - voice (what you hear internally) - intuition (what you feel internally) These get projected to your outer world. You must work on your outer world, as well. This means you have to examine the soil (the environment you are rooted in), water (are you watering your mind daily to expand your imagination) and sun (where do you get your joy from and are you carving out time to do something that brings you moments of joy). These work together so that you're operating at a higher level.
3. Realize,"energy cannot be created or destroyed...it can only be transformed from one form to another" (Albert Einstein). The way that you think about money (or anything) drives different actions and associated reactions. Money is energy...if you want more you have to change the language and actions you take when it comes to money.
4. Adopt a simple morning ritual that includes: 1) Calming your mind, 2) setting your intentions (my intention for achieving x is y because it will make me feel z), 3) listening to a song that raises you to your Z state energy, 4) making a declaration "I am..." intentions, actions, manifestation. When I set my intentions towards a goal, and take actions toward that goal, I manifest.
5. Consider the input you received as a child. how many more "nos" did you hear vs. "yes"? 5% of our day is run by our conscious mind. 95% is run by the subconscious mind or SOS (subconscious operating system). What input are you providing yourself now? Are you your worst energy or your biggest cheerleader?
6. Practice using your intuition. When you do things that bring you true joy, you will be in a different frequency and when you are in that flow...inspiration happens. 

You can connect with Ben: 

Website | benjaminyeh.com

IG | @benjaminyeh

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/benjaminyeh

Boom Vision Podcast; Available on all podcast directories.

Apple | httApple Podcasts | Boom Vision

Free Downloads for Listeners: https://www.benjaminyeh.com/thankyou

So, ladies...we want to hear from you. Ben shares with us some major inspiration today...what message resonated with you the most? Please leave us a review and share this episode with a friend! 

Make sure we're connected!  FB | Dear Midlife and IG | @DearMidlife

So a few years ago a woman in my neighborhood sent out an invite for a little happy hour at her house...with a twist. She had gotten very interested in a self-discovery tool called the Enneagram (prounounced any-a-gram) and sent a link for us to all take an assessment to find our "type"...then we all discussed our types, fears and motivations over a glass of wine. That was my first exposure to this tool.

Today's guest, Chelsie Engle, has a coaching business centered around this powerful tool and today, she helps us understand ourselves a little more deeply and identity our core fears and motivations through the lens of the Enneagram.

After years of infertility struggles, pregnancy loss, and fertility treatments Chelsie finally became a mama only to find herself in a state of postpartum depression and anxiety, and feeling lost and stuck as a new mom and working in a toxic and difficult environment. She needed help, which is when she found a therapist that was trained in the Enneagram. 

Chelsie now works one-one with clients helping them determine their enneagram type (in a Typing Session) and helps them explore a life on their terms using her 1-1 elite life coaching experience.

This tool can be used to gain greater insights to who we are as individuals, create a life that is in alignment with our core motivations and desires, recognize the healthy and unhealthy behaviors in ourselves and others and help strengthen our personal and romantic relationships through empathy and understanding of the fears and motivations of those who we are closest to.

Today, Chelsie teaches us that: 

1. The Enneagram is a self-discovery tool that helps an individual discover their core motivations. It allows us to explore our actions and behaviors through this unique lens to determine if they are serving us in a healthy way or not.
2. Our behavior and qualities should be seen as neither good nor bad, but rather healthy or unhealthy. Often, what we "loathe" in others are characteristics we don't see in ourselves.
3. It's easy to get caught in between your fears and desires and feel like you're on a hamster wheel you can't get off of, however, awareness is the first step to understanding how to create healthy behaviors in your own life.
4. A great way to identify your type is to ask yourself what is the best feeling in the world for me? (this will usually help you pinpoint your core motivation) and What is the worst feeling in the world for me? (which will help you pinpoint your core fear)
5. When you recognize you are in stress, stop. Acknowledge what you're feeling (usually something linked to your core fear). Ask yourself WHY you are feeling this way? Finally, ask yourself what you need in that moment? I feel...because...I need... and VALIDATE. yourself in these feelings.

Website | eliteenneagramcoaching.com

Take the test!

 We'd love for you to take Chelsies free Enneagram assessment to find out who YOU are. When you do, leave us a review and let us know!

Make sure we're connected! FB | Dear Midlife and IG | @DearMidlife

We know many of you out there have a dirty little secret. Raise your hand if, like me, you are a people pleaser!  Girl, today we stop and explore the 'why'?  The answer to this question is something we've been contemplating. WHY is it that women (specifically) fall into patterns of people pleasing? Are we so desperate to have people like us that we're willing to sacrifice ourselves in the process? There are so many answers to this question...perhaps, it's societal conditioning that causes women to put everyone else's needs before our own...perhaps, it's just part of who we are as individuals...maybe we LIKE doing things for others. Maybe it's just because we're suckers.

We're kidding of course! But, know you're not alone and today's guest, Suzanne Culberg, will be able to provide some refreshing guidance and reassurance! Suzanne calls herself a "nope coach" and is a coach and author who helps "over-givers" and people pleasers learn to set boundaries and say "no" in a way that feel good. 

Suzanne is a certified practitioner of Neurolinguistic programming (NLP), holds a bachelor of medical science, and has a variety of other certificates that she leverages to help women stop over-giving, over-consuming, and overdoing everything. Her mission is to help women set boundaries for themselves and make boundaries NORMAL...we simply should be saying NO more often.

In today's episode Suzanne teaches us that:

You can find Suzanne at:

Website | suzanneculberg.com

Facebook | suzanneculberg

IG | @suzanne_culberg

Make sure we're connected: FB | Dear Midlife and IG | @DearMidlife

And girl...If you ARE a people pleaser, make Shelby and me happy by sharing this podcast with a friend and leaving us a review. :) 

Have you heard of the Vagus, girl? Perhaps, you're thinking...I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you...bearing in mind the rule "What happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas". But, we're not talking about Las Vegas....today, we're talking about our Vagus Nerve. Despite popular belief the Vagus Nerve isn't the nerve we lose or our even our last nerve, it is a cranial nerve that interfaces with the parasympathetic control of the heart, lungs and digestive tract. They should change the phrase to "What happens in the Vagus stays in your body" because when chronic stress and trauma happen over an extended period of time it can show up in our bodies as anxiety, depression, gut disorders, autoimmune conditions and chronic pain. To our listener out there...THIS is very well what may have you feeling STUCK!

In this episode, we totally get schooled by our guest Jessica Maguire. After all the amazing things Jessica teaches us in this episode that we DIDN'T know, we're starting to wonder how in the hell we ever passed biology!

Jessica Maguire has a degree in Health Science and a Masters in Physiotherapy and has spent over 14 years helping people improve the health of their brain and body. She specializes in helping her patients get to the root cause of their issues rather than just relying on others to resolve their symptoms. She does this by providing a framework within which her clients can understand the different responses of the nervous system and better engage with it rather than being overwhelmed by emotions and physical sensations...

We LOVE this conversation! Jessica so clearly articulates what is happening in our bodies and how to tune into the signals our body is sending. If YOU love this episode too...Share this podcast and leave a review.

1. Our nervous system can be in 3 states: a) regulated in which we are at our baseline and operating in a calm, focused, stable and connected state; hyperarrousal in which we may be operating in a state of anxiousness, anger, and hypervigialance; or hypoarrousal in which we slip into a state of shame, withdrawal or burnout...essentially feeling "stuck".
2. The Vagas nerve is a cranial nerve that connects the body and brain. 80% of its fibers are sending signals back up to the brain. It plays a critical role in emotional health, physical health and even effects how we connect with other people.
3. Our brain and our nervous system don't just passively receive information throughout out lives. They are shaped by experiences and relationships.
4. Making a shift, isn't about changing a mindset, its about working with our body to create a new experience that then sends a signal to the brain that we are safe and capable and THAT reshapes our mind....moves you beyond feeling stuck
5. Leverage the gift of co-regulation and bring these people (or even pets) in your life close to help you operate in a more stable, connected and calm state.

You can find Jessica at:

Website | Jessicamaguire.com

IG | repairing_the_nervous_system

Make sure we're connected at: FB | Dear Midlife and IG | @DearMidlife

So, girl...we talk a lot on this show about who we want to be when we grow up. We know this proverbial midlife identity crisis can leave us confused as to who we are and who we want to become. We've struggled with this topic and if you (our listener) are struggling out there, then this episode is for you.

Today, entrepreneur, Motivational Speaker, Mastermind facilitator and business coach, Cheri Ruskus, speaks to the freedom and challenges that come with owning your own business and embracing new possibilities. So, if you have ever thought about what it would be like to step out on your own, Cheri walks us through how to determine if being an entrepreneur is the right path for you and the importance of creating a strategy to make the leap with confidence.

Cheri has authored two books and speaks to audiences about how to run their business with efficient systems and a positive mindset. She is host of the Bright Shiny Object Project podcast with 150+ episodes and has also created the BSO (Bright Shiny Object) Grow Planner, a physical paper planner, to assist small business owners to accomplish more, as they honor their most precious commodity, their time.

In today's episode we learned:

1. How to use "morning momentum" to begin your day in a positive way...That means get up before your household and use that time to "meditate".
2. Meditation doesn't have to be sitting in silence, YOU do YOU....you can take a walk, watch the sunrise with a cup of coffee, use a meditation app. Find they approach that works for you.
3. Turn your "to do's" into "ta das". Start each day by focusing on what you accomplished the day before.
4. Focus on relationships. Write down what are the 5 relationships you want to nurture that week or that day. You don't have to write a novel. A few words go a long way.
5. Establish systems to make your life and business work.

You can find Cheri at:

Website | Business Victories

IG | Victory Girl

Book Recommendation: Book Recommendation | The E Myth: Why Most Businesses Don't Work and What to do About It

How many of you out there have limiting beliefs of some kind?  Maybe we should ask is there any woman out there WITHOUT a limiting belief of some kind!??  And, lately, when you think of YOUR limiting beliefs, have you ever started to dig into where in the hell they came from? 

When diffing dug deep to get at the root of limiting beliefs, we realize is that we've been programmed our entire lives...Programmed to believe we're not good enough, we're not lovable, we're not beautiful...programmed by the patriarch, by media, by our own damn parents!  

Our guest today, Denise Morrison, is here to tell us how we can use Neurolinguistic Program (NLP) or neuroplasticity to RE-program these negative narratives, overcome our own obstacles and live the life we're meant to. In this episode, our listener shares with us a personal story about how she was struggling to get pregnant when a functional medicine practitioner that said, you are so healthy. You are doing all the right things. Eating right,...exercising. But your mindset is killing you.

Like so many of us, Denise was basically beating herself up with her own negative beliefs and thought patterns after growing up in an abusive household. She didn't realize that she was repeating these patterns and habits and they were depleting her of her life force and energy. Her body couldn't produce a child because her body thought it wasn't a safe environment.

So listen up! Your brain, mindset and self-talk are important! They have an IMPACT. Today, Denise has transformed herself from a shy, introverted girl to a strong woman who learned how to overcome emotional eating and and abusive self-habits to become a dedicated and vibrant Physical Therapist, Yoga teacher and finally, a Transformational Health & Life Coach. She uses her personal experiences and certification in NLP and other mindset and coaching strategies to help women overcome self-defeating patterns and really transform their lives.  

Denise explores with her clients 3 key areas of their lives:

Behaviors - things like your diet, exercise and daily self-care habits

Beliefs - things like your mindset and the deepest beliefs you hold about yourself and others

Being - who you identify yourself to be on a deep and even subconscious level

In this episode we discuss:

1. We receive programming everyday in various ways and these memories are stored in our senses and nervous system. Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) is a way to help an individual discern what memories they want to hold onto and reshape the negative narratives with "new programming"
2. NLP Uses the full sensory experience to anchor thoughts and beliefs within your sense of smell, sight, touch, sound and taste.
3. Finding out what you DO want your new narratives to be can be a process of elimination, starting with what you DON'T want...
4. How you do one thing is likely how you do everything....so identifying and shifting small patterns can make a big impact on your life.
5. Leave voice memos to yourself about how you feel...then you can really get a true perspective on the words you use with yourself. Be kind! to YOU!

So, take this journey with us, ladies and if you're enjoying the conversation share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review.

You can find Denise at:

LinkedIn | Denise Lynn Morrison

FB | Denise Lynn Morrison

Please make sure we are connected:  FB | Dear Midlife and IG | @DearMidlife

From the moment I wake up....Before I put on my make-up...I say a little prayer for you! How many of you women out there need a little reminder that YOU ARE WORTHY?  What if you could carry in your pocket gorgeous thoughts of positive intention to lift your spirits and reflect on who you are and what you're capable of?

Our next guest, Jenna Brocious, has developed a set of prayer cards to provide motivation and inspiration at just the right moment.  Jenna is a wife, mother, spiritual intuitive and, like so many of us, has worn so... many... hats. And, also, like you...she had a busy real estate career and "did all of the right things" and just hit a point in life in which she was feeling a bit lost.

Thankfully, she was afforded the opportunity to pull back, and sit in silence and meditation (hats off to Jenna's supportive husband...and for our two guys listening out there...listen up!) and gain clarity on how she can show up in a different way to serve others and believes these special prayer cards she's created are the product of God working through her to provide others intention and inspiration when they need it most.

In this episode, Jenna reminds us of the importance of setting boundaries and finding time and space to sit in silence and reflection...to find your own spirituality in whatever shape and form that take...and in that space ...find yourself. Here are some of her special takeaways:

1. Set clear boundaries and know what is important to you
2. Welcome negativity because it not only shows you what you don't want, but what you do.
3. Self-love allows you the power to stand in your own strength, your own boundaries and your own values
4. Give yourself some quiet time each day to get out of your head
5. Schedule quiet time for yourself

So, girl, sit back and enjoy our conversation with Jenna Brocious...and if you enjoy the conversation, please subscribe and leave us a review!

You can find Jenna at:

Website | JennaBSpiritual.com

IG | @jennab_spiritual

Make Sure you are connected to us!  FB | Dear Midlife and IG | @DearMidlife or https://linktr.ee/DearMidlife 

Dr. Aimie Apigian is THE REAL DEAL! In this episode she teaches us about the "Biology of Trauma™ a unique lens for understanding trauma and how to emerge from it by joining the two worlds of neuroscience and trauma therapy uniquely by reverse-engineering the chronic effects of trauma on the nervous system and body on a cellular level.

Girl...if only you could see Shelby right now. Here inner nerd is geeking out! She is literally drooling over Dr. Aimie's incredible resume. She is a double board-certified medical physician in Preventive Medicine and Addiction Medicine. She has a Masters in Biochemistry and a Masters in Public Health. In addition to her medical training, she is also a Certified Functional Medicine physician and has a crazy number of additional certifications in neuro-autoimmunity, nutrition, and genetics for addictions, mental health, and mood and behavioral disorders as well as in various trauma therapies including the Instinctual Trauma Response Model (an art trauma therapy), Somatic Experiencing (developed by Dr. Peter Levine), and NeuroAffective Touch (Dr. Aline LaPierre).

Not only is our guest exceptionally well qualified, but she's also motivated by her own personal life experiences as she worked to solve chronic trauma related issues for her adopted son, and then for herself. Dr. Aimie offers science-based solutions on how to rewire the nervous system. Dr. Aimie is the founder and CEO of Trauma Healing Accelerated, offering her foundational online course: “The 21 Day Journey to Calm Aliveness”, which is an experiential journey into the nervous system that is open to all.

In this episode, Dr. Apigian teaches us that:

1. Many women believe the feeling of being "stuck" is stress when, in fact, it is actually a trauma response.
2. Stress response comes with action! We are in stress response when we are actively working to solve the problems in our lives.
3. We need different solutions when we are either in stress response or in trauma response. When in stress response, we need support and resources. When in trauma response, your body needs safety, energy and time to process what just happened.
4. In order to change your trauma response, you have to rewire the way your body and nervous system reacts through somatic experiencing. Resolution happens in the body...not in the mind.

Please leave us a review and let us know how this podcast is impacting you!? What tips and tools are you using? We can't wait to hear from you.

You can find Dr. Apigian at: 

Instagram: @draimie

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/draimie/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-aimie-apigian-1b863244

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/draimieapigian

Our guest today, Melissa Giller, is an MBA and former Sr. Management consultant with a Big 4 firm. But, decided to leave the corporate world behind "on a whim". Or so she says, but in reality Melissa, like many of us, went through what she calls her "winter"....and when we say 'winter' we're talking a 'Game of Thrones' kind of winter (lol)...a year long feeling of being stuck or lost during the early years of motherhood. I'm sure you may resolate with this feeling where you feel like your life is out of alignment with your goals and values and you really don't know who you are any more.

BUT...a massive panic attack that woke her out of the blue, and was the catalyst to her journey of deep introspection, mindfulness and inner healing. Annnddd...Thank you, Canada, for your generous year-long maternity leave practices! Because, it was during this time that Melissa began searching for her soul. Ultimately, the journey lead her to pursue her life and spiritual coaching certification, and she launched her coaching business, Life With Soul, in August of 2020. 

Melissa's focus is mindset work around the cognitive distortions: recognizing when your thoughts are running the show, and how to challenge the negativity within them. Since then, she's helped countless women find themselves, establish solid self-care practices and truly find alignment in their lives (personally and/or professionally).She views self-compassion and non-judgement as the pathway to healing yourself, and therefore, your partner, children and the world around you.

In today's episode Melisa teaches us:

1. To ask yourself "How do I want to feel?"...Today...In my life? and then consider what's one little shift or think you can do today to bring these feelings into your life
2. Identify where your can'ts are possibly "won'ts" and disrupt the pattern with something positive
3. The hardest thing is starting. Break down big goals or new habits into the smallest possible steps.
4. Self-care is any activity that feeds your soul and then continually reassessing what's working and not working and adjusting.
5. Cognitive distortions are tendencies and patterns that paint a false or inaccurate picture of the world around you and why people may be making certain decisions. So, instead ask yourself "Is it true? If it's not true, what is a more logical story?"

If you're enjoying the Dear Midlife podcast, please subscribe and leave us a review! We need your support!

You can find Melissa at:

https://www.melissagiller.com

https://www.instagram.com/melissa_giller/

Podcast: Life with Soul

A Mindset for Miracles FREE course on Cognitive Distortions

Please make sure we are connected on Social Media: FB | Dear Midlife and IG | @DearMidlife

Ladies, ya'll know midlife is FULL of transitions. We spend our WHOLE lives as women living for every. one. else. Can I get an "amen" if you know what i'm talking about?!?!  AMEN! So true..you see, what happens in midlife is that life... shifts and changes...our marital relationship may dissolve or go through significant curves in the road, our children move out, retirement is looming out there in the distance and we suddenly find ourselves on this roller coaster of transition and change. And NOBODY likes change, but frankly it's the only constant in life. Today’s world is constantly shifting, evolving and pushing our personal and business visions into new territory.

So, girl, we gotta move forward and embrace the unknown, because that is where the true magic lies... Our guest today, Sam Plovie, has over 10 years experience in transforming peoples lives by helping them to navigate the turbulent waters of change to bring clarity and purpose forward so they can make more informed and sound life decisions. Sam is the ultimate ‘ Guide by your Side ’ removing the barriers that sabotage your success! With unparalleled expertise in Chinese Metaphysics, Sam assists people through their life transitions, career redirects, home harmonizing, optimal office work flow, staff alignment and corporate stratagies.

Sam's philosophy is success is science. If you have the conditions, you get the results” and she strives to help people attain those conditions and live their life at full potential by aligning people to their environment, tapping into their true skills at the right time, with the right strategy, life is smoother, simpler and more purposeful.

Sam is schooled in the Chinese Five Arts of Metaphysics, of Feng Shui (environment) BaZi (Chinese Astrology known as BaZi) Mian Xiang (Chinese Face Reading) Qi Men Dun Jia (Strategy) and Yang Style Tai Chi Chuan (Martial Arts)  and in this episode she teaches us:

1. Feng Shui is the art and science of noticing how the environment effects you. By aligning to the environment around you, you are better positioned to make sound decisions. A good home finds you.
2. We can have it all...but, typically not all at once. Life is a meandering path, when we can embrace the notion that life is happening for you, everything becomes simpler.
3. When you put somebody else first, you have become second.
4. The obstacles aren't IN your path...they ARE your path. Life isn't happening TO you, it is happening FOR you...embrace it.
5. Girl 2023 IS OUR YEAR! According to Chinese astrology and metaphysics there's a new sista in town! Feminine energy is moving in and will culminate in Dec 2023, when the world will come back into alignment. So, THIS is the year to make new changes and take new chances.

Join us in the new year for our follow-up interview with Sam who will reveal our BaZi charts (birthdate chart known as natal chart) and demonstrate her abilities to guide US to be powerfully informed to make better decisions about our lives and business.

Girl...if you love this episode, subscribe to this podcast and leave us a review

Sam is the voice of the mind-blowing QiProSam (pronounced Chi-pro) Podcasts, informative blogs, inspirational videos and mentor to aspiring consultants.

Once you align your life, your life is more aligned. If you want more alignment in your life and to add a little science to your success, you can find Sam:

QiPro Sam Website

IG | @qiprosam

Please ensure that we are connected on social media:  FB | Dear Midlife and IG | @DearMidlife