WAIT. NOW TOM'S GONE?! Lydia sneaks on the show as Thomas shares an important Smith Family update (IT'S NOT A FOURTH KID). Eli, Thomas, and Lydia discuss how to support kids through loss, especially when grief (or not grief?) may look different for each of your children.

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Haeley recently had literal brain surgery, and Tom is here to share how it all went and what's next in their pursuit of her health. Many thanks to everyone that sent messages of support or kept the Currys in your thoughts as Haeley tackled this part of her story. It means a lot to the family and everyone at Dear Old Dads!

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The dads continue visiting topics that haven't received the proper Dear Old Dads treatment. Beyond the position of "being pro-choice", how else can you show up for your partner when they are considering (and perhaps get) an abortion?

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Eli poses a discussion topic for the dads that they somehow have not talked about before. Let's talk about virginity - the pressure to lose yours, to pressure to take it from someone else, and how toxic masculinity and the manosphere intersect with it all. Also, how do kids define "bases" these days?!

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Pretty sure this is the first episode where the dads touch on adoption, and we have a great listener email to kick off discussion about a particular aspect of creating an adoptive family.

And since we kicked off the episode talking about optimism and pessimism, please be sure to chime in on the comment thread below or in the Facebook group with your position on whether you are a "hope for the best" kind of person or an "expect to be disappointed" person!

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Tom gives us a health update of his own that is WILD and exactly what we've come to expect and love about our Tom; then, the dads answer a listener email involving choice paralysis and how to help our kids, if it's something they experience, through it. Personally, I blame the Grail Knight scene from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade for mine. "He chose...poorly."

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... we could turn off auto ads. I don't know. I almost titled this "If I had a new partner" instead of a nickel but it didn't actually make sense. Annyyyyway We're making Tom talk about polyamory again! Join the dads as they dissect a truly awful Reddit post about a marriage opening up. Is any part of what happened in that story actually ethical non-monogamy? Does the polyamory community co-opt language that should be reserved for other groups? And in a spirited back and forth, could the "right person" make you "be" monogamous or polyamorous? But first, BLUEY TALK. Because those two topics go together.

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The dads dive into a question that they saw in the super fun Facebook group that you should definitely join - is it okay to charge your kid rent while they live in your house after 18 years old? What about if they're 30? And at market rates?

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A pair of topics for today! First - something awful happened at the BAFTAs and the dads dig into it. Who all messed up in that situation? Are we blaming Alan Cumming?! Is there actually a limit to inclusivity? Then - Tom shares some important and personal updates.

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We have a listener question that asks something very reasonable: so many in this podcastiverse community are pretty left, and have strong feelings about the United States military and various federal agencies. What if our kids wanted to pursue careers in those fields? Would we stop them? But first, please enjoy a ridiculous story from Thomas and Lydia's Valentine's Day evening (safe for work). And only the patrons get exclusive cooking insight from Donovan at the end of this episode!

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