"Dear Son, You Are Your Brother's Keeper"...what a tremendous charge on anyone's life. During this conversation with Mikel Brown (www.instagram.com/iammikelbrwn) I was afforded insight into his journey into fatherhood, having lost his father, his hero, at the age of eight. While there's no good time to lose a parent, losing one during this impressionable stage of life can be very traumatic, and negatively alter the course of a child's life. Thank God that this isn't how Mikel's story plays out. His older brother stepped in and transitioned into a father figure, caring for Mikel as he did for his biological children. Did they lose the brotherhood relationship in the process? Was there any resentment for the additional burden?

There's also the dynamic of the relationship Mikel had with his mother after his father died. He offers a very transparent perspective of blame turned guilt, turned forgiveness. Through it all, he found the lessons in time, and explains how he applies them as a father and husband. As some say, there's no manual for this thing called life. I offer Mikel's story as proof that there is hope beyond the loss of a parent. From fond memories of fedoras, diner runs, and a precious Cadillac, this conversation gave me all the feels. Grab a snack and enjoy this one with me. Be blessed, Fam!

#copingwithloss #losingaparent #losingafather #ittakesavillage

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I had the pleasure of conversing with Javan (www.instagram.com/therazorscut), a Cybersecurity Systems Engineer by day, small business owner by night, about his fatherhood story, and there were many lessons to be gleaned. As a product of a blended family, he very quickly recognized the importance of creating family bonds and establishing the values he would later instill in his boys (15 & 22). He is passionate about helping others and, specifically, advocating for young black men to ensure their voices are heard and their developmental needs are met. Grab a snack. This is gonna be a great one!

#theDSP #fatherandson #dearson #blackpodcasters 

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In this episode of The Dear Son, Podcast I took a hard look at my parent-to-friend ratio when it comes to my son. Let me explain (see what I did there), in the previous episode my father broke explained the meaning of a quote he’d tell me throughout my youth: “I’m your father, I’m not your friend.” You see, he was more concerned with providing me the right direction as an authority, than watching me fumble my way through life because he was too busy being my friend. I wanted different for my kids…or so I thought. Now I’ve created this parent-friend dichotomy; picking and choosing when to act in each capacity. I err more on the side of parent, but those moments where I slip up and get too friendly could be costly. Fatherhood is tough.

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In this episode I dig deeper into my fatherhood story through an intimate conversation with the man who birthed me. The big showdown with my father! Well, not so much the smoking guns, but we both gained clarity on how we perceive each other, how we could’ve benefited from a more engaging relationship earlier in life, and ultimately, how much we appreciate and need each other now more than ever. Are there any relationships in your fatherhood story (as a father or between you and your father) that you regret not repairing before it was too late? I encourage you to take full advantage of the opportunities to repair or restore those relationships that still have a chance. I appreciate your time and attention. Be blessed, Fam.

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I had the pleasure of sitting down with one of my mentors, Dr. Ron Holloman. He is an accomplished educator and school administrator with a compelling fatherhood story. We discussed the valleys and peaks of his story, including a pivotal life event that prompted a full restoration of Dr. Holloman's relationship with his father before he passed. He provided me with a great deal of insight on life, the education system, and provided practical advice on how to partner with school leaders to ensure children have a rewarding educational experience. I think you'll find this conversation valuable. If so, let me know in the comments.

#blackeducators #blackadministrators #blackfathers

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Where exactly is a '"child's place?" I've known the reference, I've made the reference for the majority of my life, but I've never questioned it more than I do now. In many scenarios this phrase is a complete cop out, a poor excuse for an adult not to give a child meaningful information (or context) that would actually benefit the child and the adult. My theory is that the adult may not actually have the information or may possibly be lacking the maturity required to provide an explanation to the child. What makes me such an authority on the matter? Well, I'm a repeat offender...or at least I was. I now understand the importance of giving my children vital information that I once reserved for some future never-to-be-had conversation. This is not at the expense of basic principles of respect that a child should have for an  adult. It works for me.  

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This is my journey to understand the gaps between one generation of fathers and the next. Why is critical information and advice conveyed slower in some scenarios than in others? Is it cultural, familial, just plain apathy? **shrugs shoulders** What I do know is that fatherhood is situationally nuanced. Let's explore the stories of men that are on this lifelong journey as well.

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Episodes dropping soon!