Dear Son,

Dear Son, It's bigger than you! Life is a series of choices. Some choices you make, and others are made for you. All of it is connected though, especially within a household. Every member of the family has a unique value to offer that dictates its legacy.

Have you ever been curious about how successful families become household names? Johnson & Johnson, the Ford family and many others have created business empires that have survived and thrived for several generations. Do you think there was at least one generation that wanted to do something different? Perhaps, yes...perhaps, no. One train of thought suggests that the family business is mandatory, and everybody must work in it (for some period of time) without compromise. That sounds extreme. Maybe the ideas and principles of the family business were effectively woven into the family rhythm so seamlessly that each generation genuinely wanted to be part of the business when they became of age. To some, that may sound extreme as well. 

In this episode we discussed how communication, selflessness, and value are the critical pillars of a family's legacy. Further, we explored where the line between directing our children and guiding our children is drawn. Sometimes we do know better as parents. Other times we don't know enough, and our ceiling becomes theirs. Tread lightly. 

We learned quite about ourselves during this dialogue, and that’s typical. Hopefully, a point or two will prompt you to evaluate what's bigger than you in your home. We highly recommend that you consume the entire episode for the best results. Also, meet us in the comments or tag us with your opinion on social media via the links below. As always, we welcome your perspective. It takes a village. 

#daddyissues #accountable #blackfathers #fatherandson #parentingtips #betterparents #vulnerable 

Three takeaways from this discussion:

1. Have open conversations with your children about the family's business (or finances, budget, etc.)

2. Teach your children the importance of being selfless and how their actions (or inactions) contribute to the family's success. 

3. Define what the family views as valuable and evaluate each member's role in creating value for the family. 

Follow James: 

https://instagram.com/jeyblac

Follow the show:

https://instagram.com/thedearsonpodcas

Also, if you've made it this far, don't forget to:

1. follow this podcast, 

2. turn on auto-downloads,

3. give this show a 5-star rating, 

4. leave a stellar written review, and

5. share this content with someone who needs it.

The DSP: https://thedearsonpodcast.com

Support the podcast by supporting our sponsors: 

Johns & Co Apparel: https://johnsandcompany.co

Love Kisha J Studios: https://etsy.com/shop/LoveKishaJStudios

Other social media: 

https://twitter.com/dearsonpodcast

https://facebook.com/thedearsonpodcast

https://tiktok.com/podcast_pops

The Three Foundational Pillars of the DSP Community

1. Reveal trauma 

2. Heal from trauma

3. Help through telling stories of it all

“Better Men. Better Fathers.”

Enjoy the visual experience here: https://youtu.be/HqASbXeg_lI

Dear Son, you will be better because of me, not in spite of me.  A common sentiment amongst parents is the desire to provide a better experience to their children than what they had as a child. Every generation should be greater than the previous one, I agree. Sometimes we need to assess the source of our motivation to do or be better in life. In my opinion, anytime success is rooted in resentment, that’s a dangerous place to operate. Revenge parenting goes both ways. 

As a child I vowed to do many things very differently when I became a parent, and I had (have) great parents. The challenge is that I didn’t understand the full context of what they were going through as parents to appreciate the life that I was afforded. When I became a parent, I did indeed do things differently. The error in that approach is that I didn’t necessarily consider whether the approach was best for my children. In essence, the spite that I carried from my childhood gripes influenced my parenting approach. I can only imagine how parents that were abused or mistreated as children develop an obsession with being a great parent just to show their parents that they became great humans, despite their childhood experience. 

Erring on the side of caution feels like the right thing to do. I’m not arguing that. However, we must be mindful of what our children need to thrive in life instead of making them lead characters in our stage play of Revenge Parenting. Give this some intentional thought; it’s a precaution, not an attack.  

We learned quite about ourselves during this dialogue, and that’s typical. Hopefully, a point or two will prompt you to evaluate the revenge parenting tendencies displayed in your home. We highly recommend that you consume the entire episode for the best results. Also, meet us in the comments or tag us with your opinion on social media via the links below. As always, we welcome your perspective. It takes a village. 

#daddyissues #accountable #blackfathers #fatherandson #parentingtips #betterparents #vulnerable 

Four takeaways from this discussion:

1.     Discuss your struggles with your children, even the ones you believe they didn’t see. Be sure to convey how you overcame them or how you’re working through them.

2.     Reinforce the importance of communication and be the example of how to do it effectively. 

3.     Ask your children if they see you improving as a parent (and as a person).

4.     Ask your children if they understand and feel prepared to carry on the family legacy.

Follow James: 

https://instagram.com/jeyblac

Follow the show:

https://instagram.com/thedearsonpodcast

Also, if you've made it this far, don't forget to:

1. follow this podcast, 

2. turn on auto-downloads,

3. give this show a 5-star rating, 

4. leave a a stellar written review, and

5. share this content with someone who needs it.

The DSP: https://thedearsonpodcast.com

Support the podcast by supporting our sponsors: 

Johns & Co Apparel: https://johnsandcompany.co

Love Kisha J Studios: https://etsy.com/shop/LoveKishaJStudios

Other social media: 

https://twitter.com/dearsonpodcast

https://facebook.com/thedearsonpodcast

https://tiktok.com/podcast_pops

The Three Foundational Pillars of the DSP Community

1. Reveal trauma 

2. Heal from trauma

3. Help through telling stories of it all

“Better Men. Better Fathers.”

Enjoy the visual experience here: https://youtu.be/k7wBOEBToH0

The journey of manhood is nuanced. We are often called to be everything to everyone at the expense of knowing our purpose and identity. Some would argue that those concepts are interchangeable, and yes, they are similar; however, they are not the same. 

In this series launch, we assembled 16 panelists, men from varying walks of life, to discuss what some might consider a very simply defined word, identity. We learned very quickly that while everyone understood the assignment, there wasn't necessarily one correct answer. Nerves aside, every panelist provided context with transparency to push the conversation forward. Each panelist (and event participant) left in a better condition than when they arrived. 

This conversation focused on who God is to the panelists and how their relationships with Him impact their identities. Their experiences are distinctly different, yet they all found themselves in submission to His will through extreme adversities (an incarcerated father, the near loss of a child at the hands of violence, significant loss of professional prominence, and hitting rock bottom). As Reggie George mentioned, "adversity introduces a man to himself." In kind, the Dear Son, Network presents these stories to you. 

We ate, we drank, and we celebrated each other. It was (and still is) powerful. I sincerely pray that this series is a blessing to you and your circle. Let it be a life prompt that facilitates necessary conversations with those you love. Be sure to engage in the comments section As always, I welcome your feedback and perspective. It takes a village.

Salute to Love's Luxe Event Styling and Della's Lunchbox for upgrading the environment. The space was styled beautifully, and the food was top tier. (links below). 

https://linktr.ee/dellaslunchboxllc

https://instagram.com/loves_luxe

#fatherhood #healingjourney #accountable #blackfathers #fatherandson #blackexcellence #affirmation #confirmation #identity 

Follow the show: 

https://instagram.com/thedearsonpodcast

Also, if you've made it this far, don't forget to:

1. follow this podcast, 

2. turn on auto-downloads,

3. give this podcast a 5-star rating, 

4. leave a stellar written review, and

5. share this content with someone who needs it.

The DSP: https://thedearsonpodcast.com

Support the podcast by supporting our sponsors: 

Johns & Co Apparel: https://johnsandcompany.co

Love Kisha J Studios: https://linktr.ee/lovekishaj

Let’s connect socially: 

https://instagram.com/thedearsonpodcast

https://twitter.com/dearsonpodcast

https://facebook.com/thedearsonpodcast

The Three Foundational Pillars of the DSP Community

1. Reveal trauma 

2. Heal from trauma

3. Help through telling stories of it all

“Better Men. Better Fathers.”

Sometimes we just need to acknowledge when our children a great job and shut up. Seriously, too often praise is delivered with a slight sprinkle of shade. Need example? “Hey son, you did a great job cutting the grass, but next time do it like this.” If this sounds familiar, congratulations on admitting it. I hear that’s the first step to most recovery processes. There’s a time and place for constructive criticism. The frequency of communicating it is as important as the delivery method. 

We had a candid conversation about where we’ve struggled with affirming our children without attaching criticism. One commonality was that our childhood experiences heavily influence how we parent today: both positively and negatively. Talking through it helped us acknowledge some areas for improvement, which happens during most episodes. 

Take note of what resonates with you as you listen and keep them readily accessible in the days and weeks to come. Hopefully, you’ll find yourself adjusting in real-time as we adjust our actions as well. We highly recommend that you consume the entire episode for the best results. Also, meet us in the comments or tag us with your opinion on social media via the links below. As always, we welcome your perspective. It takes a village. 

#daddyissues #accountable #blackfathers #fatherandson #positiveimages #leadbyexample #parentingadvice 

Four takeaways from this episode:

1.  Check your demeanor and parenting posture to ensure you’re approachable

2.  Congratulate your children without reservation

3.  Be mindful of how your childhood experiences influence your parenting style (positive and negative).

4. Be careful of how much you pressure your children to mature. Don’t expect them to be adults before their time. 

Follow James: 

https://instagram.com/jeyblac

Follow the show:

https://instagram.com/thedearsonpodcast

Also, if you've made it this far, don't forget to:

1.  subscribe to the channel, 

2. turn on the notifications,

3. like this video, 

4. leave a comment, and

5. share this content with someone who needs it.

The DSP: https://thedearsonpodcast.com

Support the podcast by supporting our sponsors: 

Johns & Co Apparel: https://johnsandcompany.co

Love Kisha J Studios: https://etsy.com/shop/LoveKishaJStudios

Other social media: 

https://twitter.com/dearsonpodcast

https://facebook.com/thedearsonpodcast

https://tiktok.com/podcast_pops

The Three Foundational Pillars of the DSP Community

1. Reveal trauma 

2. Heal from trauma

3. Help through telling stories of it all

“Better Men. Better Fathers.”

Enjoy the visual experience here: https://youtu.be/GfeXJSGkSGY

Are you a bridge or a wall? Without context, one may seem more positive than the other. Consider what the bridge connects and what the wall protects. I’ll wait. Either can facilitate or stifle successful relationships with your children. Did your answer change?

Ideally, parents always have their children’s best interest in mind, and would NEVER do, say, or block anything that would harm their future. I wish life really was that simple. The real-life version of parenting often looks different. Malice aside, some of our best efforts don’t yield the most positive results. For instance, the child may be interested in pursuing a career in artificial intelligence development, but the parent may not see the value in (or future) it simply because they don’t understand AI. Instead, they push the child to enroll in trade school, which is an honorable pursuit, but what does that matter if the child isn’t passionate about any traditional trade? 

The prior example may not resonate with you, but I’m pretty sure there’s another scenario to which you can apply the principal sentiment. We learned quite about ourselves during this dialogue, and that’s typical. Hopefully, a point or two will prompt you to evaluate the bridge and wall tendencies displayed in your home. We highly recommend that you consume the entire episode for the best results. Also, meet us in the comments or tag us with your opinion on social media via the links below. As always, we welcome your perspective. It takes a village. 

#daddyissues #accountable #blackfathers #fatherandson #bridge  #wall #parentingtips 

5 Takeaways from this discussion:

1.     Walls can protect and hinder family relationships. Neither is inherently negative, but the misapplication can yield negative results.

2.     Bridges should connect one location (or phase) to another. It is important that the bridge operates in both directions in case the traveler needs to return home. 

3.     Be careful not to burn bridges that others are building simply because you don’t understand their purpose. 

4.     Not all walls are physical. Be mindful of those internal walls that have become a permanent way of life for you.

5.     If someone else is better qualified (and trustworthy) to help your child build a bridge, let them. 

Follow James: 

https://instagram.com/jeyblac

Follow the show:

https://instagram.com/thedearsonpodcast

Also, if you've made it this far, don't forget to:

1. follow to the podcast, 

2. turn on the auto-downloads,

3. give us a 5-star rating, 

4. leave a stellar written review, and

5. share this content with someone who needs it.

The DSP: https://thedearsonpodcast.com

Support the podcast by supporting our sponsors: 

Johns & Co Apparel: https://johnsandcompany.co

Love Kisha J Studios: https://etsy.com/shop/LoveKishaJStudios

Other social media: 

https://twitter.com/dearsonpodcast

https://facebook.com/thedearsonpodcast

https://tiktok.com/podcast_pops

The Three Foundational Pillars of the DSP Community

1. Reveal trauma 

2. Heal from trauma

3. Help through telling stories of it all

“Better Man. Better Father.”

Enjoy the visual experience here: https://youtu.be/M2T0HlyJE9A

Discipline is a critical component of success. It's the principle that keeps you pushing forward when life seems to be working against you. As a parent, there's another side to the coin...how you discipline your children. Some of us discipline for correction, and others, for control. 

Discipline can be administered in many forms. We won't all agree on what's acceptable in every home, but I challenge this audience to reach a consensus on what is an acceptable motive for the discipline. For some, discipline is a reflex directly connected to their childhood experience. If that discipline was physical, then they may be prone to physically discipline their children. 

What is the end goal? This is the element often overlooked. Discipline should be tied to a cause and yield a positive outcome. That doesn't mean that it won't be painful for the child, but it should never be abusive in any form. Neither of us provided perspective atop of a high horse, and we had some revelations along the way. We highly recommend that you consume the entire episode for the best results. Also, meet us in the comments or tag us with your opinion on social media via the links below. As always, we welcome your perspective. It takes a village. 

#daddyissues #accountable #blackfathers #fatherandson #discipline  #control #consequences 

5 Points to Consider When Disciplining Your Child:

1.     Resentment from your past shouldn’t fuel your parenting style. 

2.     It’s not your turn to be the punisher. That’s not the opportunity. 

3.     Correction should be rooted in love

4.     Control breeds resentment and rebellion. 

5.     If punishing your child excites you, get the help you need. 

Follow James: 

https://instagram.com/jeyblac

Follow the show:

https://instagram.com/thedearsonpodcast

Also, if you've made it this far, don't forget to:

1. follow this podcast, 

2. turn on the auto-downloads,

3. give the podcast a 5-star rating, 

4. leave a stellar review, and

5. share this content with someone who needs it.

The DSP: https://thedearsonpodcast.com

Support the podcast by supporting our sponsors: 

Johns & Co Apparel: https://johnsandcompany.co

Love Kisha J Studios: https://etsy.com/shop/LoveKishaJStudios

Other social media: 

https://twitter.com/dearsonpodcast

https://facebook.com/thedearsonpodcast

https://tiktok.com/podcast_pops

The Three Foundational Pillars of the DSP Community

1. Reveal trauma 

2. Heal from trauma

3. Help through telling stories of it all

“Better Man. Better Father.”

Enjoy the visual experience here: https://youtu.be/vPoh38Uzygs

"If I would've known then what I know now"...is a common copout. Yep, I said it. This is literally the adult version of "I can teleport," as my 8-year-old often proclaims. For argument's sake, let's play this out. What would father of 5 me tell father of 1 me? A lot!

Becoming a parent is a wonderfully terrifying experience; at least it was for me. I'm willing to bet that this sentiment is shared across many families, cultures, and ethnicities. Perhaps the root causes for the fear differ, but the fear is prevalent. For some, lack of resources may be the burden while others may fear the process based on their childhood experience. No matter the catalyst, the reality is that most parents aren't prepared for the experience in some way. 

In this episode we review some of our less than stellar behaviors during our fatherhood journey. Experts, we are not; however, we do have valuable perspectives as we've been entrusted with large families (by the today's standards). Hopefully, a few of these observations will help some new, veteran, and fathers-to-be understand that fatherhood is a blessing and is completely manageable with the right tools. We highly recommend that you consume the entire episode for the best results. Also, meet us in the comments or tag us with your opinion on social media via the links below. As always, we welcome your perspective. It takes a village. 

#daddyissues #accountable #blackfathers #fatherandson #justicesystem #juveniles #consequences 

Six tips for new or young fathers:

1. You don't know everything about fatherhood, and that's ok. Be open to new information throughout your journey, and adapt quickly.

2. Relax. Give your child time to learn and grow at their (healthy) pace, and don't judge them based on your unfounded expectations. 

3. Help. Be attentive and accommodating to the mother (as much as circumstances allow). Parenting is a team sport.

4. Follow through. Don't abandon a sound parenting approach before it has time to work. Children develop and respond at different paces, and may need more time to adjust.

5. Never assume how strong the mother is. Childbirth is a traumatic experience. The mother may not have words to associate with what she is feeling. Don't leave her to manage those feelings alone. 

6. Allow your child to have a voice. As much as you may believe the child wants to be just like you, he/she is an individual...a human. Guide them but allow them to become who they were designed to be. 

Follow James: 

https://instagram.com/jeyblac

Follow the show:

https://instagram.com/thedearsonpodcast

Also, if you've made it this far, don't forget to:

1. follow this podcast, 

2. turn on the auto-downloads,

3. give the podcast a 5-star rating, 

4. leave a stellar review, and

5. share this content with someone who needs it.

The DSP: https://thedearsonpodcast.com

Support the podcast by supporting our sponsors: 

Johns & Co Apparel: https://johnsandcompany.co

Love Kisha J Studios: https://etsy.com/shop/LoveKishaJStudios

Other social media: 

https://twitter.com/dearsonpodcast

https://facebook.com/thedearsonpodcast

https://tiktok.com/podcast_pops

The Three Foundational Pillars of the DSP Community

1. Reveal trauma 

2. Heal from trauma

3. Help through telling stories of it all

“Better Man. Better Father.”

Enjoy the visual experience here: https://youtu.be/OdabzPxpVbY

Have you ever reflected on your life and experienced feelings of regret? Even in the mildest case, one typically spends at least a few moments traveling down the hypothetical road of 'what if.' If you haven't, then now is the perfect time to fail.

We had a candid conversation about the importance of embarking upon the unknown before life convinces that there's only one path to success (college... 40 years at a job...retire). It was all so simple when we were bachelors with no other dependents. If an idea sounded great (or just good enough), we'd take the leap of faith without a second thought. Then came family life, which is remarkable; however, many of us automatically suppress our dreams once we enter this phase. Why is that? More importantly, what are we teaching our children about the importance of pursuing their dreams? Lastly, for those who have abandoned their dreams, how do they explain that to the children?

At some point, the children will value what we do much more than what we say. Surely, we have their best interest in mind, and want them to believe that they can accomplish anything. That's a tough script to sell when our walk doesn't match our talk. We highly recommend that you consume the entire episode for the best results. Also, meet us in the comments or tag us with your opinion on social media via the links below. As always, we welcome your perspective. It takes a village. 

#daddyissues #accountable #blackfathers #fatherandson #justicesystem #juveniles #consequences 

Three tips for child entrepreneurs

1.  Pursue your passion: As a child entrepreneur, it's essential to choose a venture that you are passionate about. This will help you stay motivated and focused, especially when faced with challenges.

2.  Seek guidance and mentorship: As a young entrepreneur, it's crucial to seek guidance from experienced professionals in your field. They can offer insights and advice that can help you navigate the uncertainties of entrepreneurship.

3.  Be resilient: Entrepreneurship can be challenging, and as a child entrepreneur, you may face unique obstacles. However, it's essential to persevere and remain resilient in the face of setbacks. Remember that failure is an opportunity to learn and grow.

Follow James: 

https://instagram.com/jeyblac

Follow the show:

https://instagram.com/thedearsonpodcast

Also, if you've made it this far, don't forget to:

1. follow this podcast, 

2. turn on the auto-downloads,

3. give the podcast a 5-star rating, 

4. leave a stellar review, and

5. share this content with someone who needs it.

The DSP: https://thedearsonpodcast.com

Support the podcast by supporting our sponsors: 

Johns & Co Apparel: https://johnsandcompany.co

Love Kisha J Studios: https://etsy.com/shop/LoveKishaJStudios

Other social media: 

https://twitter.com/dearsonpodcast

https://facebook.com/thedearsonpodcast

https://tiktok.com/podcast_pops

The Three Foundational Pillars of the DSP Community

1. Reveal trauma 

2. Heal from trauma

3. Help through telling stories of it all

“Better Man. Better Father.”

Enjoy the visual experience here: https://youtu.be/rTMh5lTF82Y

The journey of manhood is layered. We are often called to be everything to everyone at the expense of knowing our purpose and identity. Some would argue that those concepts are interchangeable, and yes, they are similar; however, they are not the same. 

In this series launch, we assembled 16 panelists, men from varying walks of life, to discuss what some might consider a very simply defined word, identity. We learned very quickly that while everyone understood the assignment, there wasn't necessarily one correct answer. Nerves aside, every panelist provided context with transparency to push the conversation forward. Each panelist (and event participant) left in a better condition than when they arrived. 

We ate, we drank, and we celebrated each other. It was (and still is) powerful. I sincerely pray that this series is a blessing to you and your circle. Let it be a life prompt that facilitates necessary conversations with those you love. As always, I welcome your feedback and perspective. It takes a village.

Salute to Love's Luxe Event Styling and Della's Lunchbox for upgrading the environment. The space was styled beautifully, and the food was top tier. (links below). 

https://linktr.ee/dellaslunchboxllc

https://instagram.com/loves_luxe

#fatherhood #healingjourney #accountable #blackfathers #fatherandson #blackexcellence #affirmation #confirmation #identity 

Follow the show: 

https://instagram.com/thedearsonpodcast

Also, if you've made it this far, don't forget to:

1. follow this podcast, 

2. turn on auto-downloads,

3. give it a 5-star rating, 

4. leave a stellar review, and

5. share this content with someone who needs it.

The DSP: https://thedearsonpodcast.com

Support the podcast by supporting our sponsors: 

Johns & Co Apparel: https://johnsandcompany.co

Love Kisha J Studios: https://linktr.ee/lovekishaj

Let’s connect socially: 

https://instagram.com/thedearsonpodcast

https://twitter.com/dearsonpodcast

https://facebook.com/thedearsonpodcast

The Three Foundational Pillars of the DSP Community

1. Reveal trauma 

2. Heal from trauma

3. Help through telling stories of it all

“Better Man. Better Father.”

Enjoy the visual experience: https://youtu.be/X_0mbUgt0HE

How far will you go for your son? Many parents proudly tout that they are willing to do anything for their children. The reality is that most of us will do anything (within reason) if our children are "representing the family correctly." What happens when they take on a moral compass that looks nothing like ours? While there are parents that will never turn their back on their children, most of us haven't been tested in a way that challenges that notion.

Imagine committing all your resources, energy, love and patience to another human, and that human does something extremely disturbing and disappointing in return. Perhaps the action wasn't to or at you, but how can a product of your environment represent you in such a way? The harsh reality is that the human experienced is nuanced, and even apples from the best trees can spoil. With that, do parents (and caregivers) have an obligation to protect their children from the consequences that the children have earned? Would you turn your child in after they committed a serious crime that injured someone (or worse)?

Sometimes growth requires that we remove the shield between what we want for our children and what they deserve. We highly recommend that you consume the entire episode for the best results. Also, meet us in the comments or tag us with your opinion on social media via the links below. As always, we welcome your perspective. It takes a village. 

#daddyissues #accountable #blackfathers #fatherandson #justicesystem #juveniles #consequences 

Three ways to help children deal with emotional pain: 

1. Encourage communication: Encourage children to express their feelings and listen to them without judgment. This helps them feel heard and validated.

2. Teach coping skills: Teach children coping skills such as deep breathing, visualization, and positive self-talk. These techniques can help children manage their emotions in a healthy way.

3. Seek professional help: If emotional pain persists or becomes severe, seek professional help from a counselor or therapist. They can provide additional support and guidance for children and their families.

Follow James: 

https://instagram.com/jeyblac

Follow the show:

https://instagram.com/thedearsonpodcast

Also, if you've made it this far, don't forget to:

1. follow this podcast, 

2. turn on auto-downloads,

3. rate this podcast 5 stars, 

4. leave a stellar written review, and

5. share this content with someone who needs it.

The DSP: https://thedearsonpodcast.com

Support the podcast by supporting our sponsors: 

Johns & Co Apparel: https://johnsandcompany.co

Love Kisha J Studios: https://etsy.com/shop/LoveKishaJStudios

Other social media: 

https://twitter.com/dearsonpodcast

https://facebook.com/thedearsonpodcast

https://tiktok.com/podcast_pops

The Three Foundational Pillars of the DSP Community

1. Reveal trauma 

2. Heal from trauma

3. Help through telling stories of it all

“Better Man. Better Father.”