Dear Son,

Enjoy the visual experience: https://youtu.be/0UTlcdZ6MnI

Dear Son, the streets don’t love you. This message may not be an awakening for you, but so many young men learn this lesson through jail or death (of others). Though the story typically includes at least one of those outcomes, the backstories of these young men are nuanced. For many, their parents (or caregivers) were not aware of their street activity. In other cases, the parents (or caregivers) turned a blind eye because they enjoyed the financial benefit of the street life. 

In this episode, Martez Gurley-El gives us a look into his journey to and through the streets and provides a perspective on what that life cost him personally, financially, and professionally. He is a thriving positively contributing member of his community, a loving husband, and father of four young men. We discussed the parallels of street life and business, and how he has parlayed the objective success principles into a thriving business. 

Marty, as he is most affectionately known, has a passion for people. You can find him sharing his wisdom and experiences with anyone who will listen or working in partnership with multiple non-profit organizations such as People Helping People and The Friendship Lottery. Even when his time and energy are for profit, he approaches business with a strong desire to help his clients identify the best solution and form lasting business partnerships whenever possible. 

You won’t regret the time you invest into this episode. Listen to the full conversation to get the maximum benefit. As always, I welcome your feedback and perspective. It takes a village.

#fatherhood #daddyissues #accountable #blackfathers #fatherandson #blackexcellence 

Follow Marty: 

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The DSP: https://thedearsonpodcast.com

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The Three Foundational Pillars of the DSP Community

1. Reveal trauma 

2. Heal from trauma

3. Help through telling stories of it all

“Better Man. Better Father.”

Get the visual experience https://youtu.be/GI_fcc6c1Dk

Parenting is a team sport, even when it isn’t. There’s an infinite number of circumstances that determine why or how a child lands in a single-parent home. While single parenthood is not an indictment on the child’s future, it can present challenges that weigh heavily on the primary custodial parent. How do single mothers navigate that process without losing it? The work is nuanced for every situation, yet the show must go on. 

In this episode, Gelina and Jondrea, hosts of the Queens of Kings Podcast, share their journey to and through single parenthood. Both are raising young black kings. They provide a transparent view of the challenges and heartbreak they experienced in prior relationships, which also yielded their greatest blessings, their sons. We walked through the range of emotions each of them experienced during their healing journeys, and how those lessons inform and empower them today.

We also discussed the importance a positive male influence, be it the biological father or a #FatherFigure, they know their boys need to see certain behaviors and characteristics that a mother just cannot model. How else does a boy learn how to become a man? There are many narratives and agendas that attempt to devalue the importance of two-parent homes or positive co-parenting relationships that are endangering current and future generations. In some instances, boys are unfairly levied with grown man expectations in the absence of a responsible man in the house.

Let’s be clear, Gelina and Jondrea are great mothers. This episode broadened my perspective on how my actions as a father impact how my daughters see and understand men. What has been your parenthood experience? If you could choose one lesson to learn without the pain you experienced while learning it, what would that be?

As always, I welcome your feedback and perspective. It takes a village.

#fatherhood #daddyissues #parenthood #singlemom #blackfathers #fatherandson #divorce #lifeafterdivorce #blackexcellence #breakups

Follow Gelina: 

https://instagram.com/trulygelina

Follow Jondrea: 

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Follow the Queens of Kings Podcast

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The Three Foundational Pillars of the DSP Community

1. Reveal trauma 

2. Heal from trauma

3. Help through telling stories of it all

“Better Man. Better Father.”

Watch the video version: https://youtu.be/-wwAu0DM5-A

Fatherhood is a learned behavior. Many of us mimic the behaviors that we saw or experienced growing up...sometimes to a fault. Children are like algorithms that are constantly being updated by some supernatural software.  What worked on us as children isn't guaranteed to work on our children, and, inevitably, there will be a need to reprogram the way we parent. 

In addition to the child evolving, the parent is also evolving. That evolution may have positive and negative phases, which might be processed differently by the child and the parent. These nuances make parenting difficult to navigate, and sometimes we must abandon the default parenting behaviors and reprogram the way we operate.

This episode explores the journey of four fathers from varying backgrounds and highlights several vulnerable moments that changed the way they dad. 

Shawn Serfass is struggled with drug addiction at a young age, which ultimately landed him in prison. He spent the time behind bars working on himself to become a better man and father to the son he left behind. His experiences have fueled his purpose, and today he is a reputable member of society, advocate for at-risk youth, loving husband, and a great father. He's also a successful owner of the "2nd Chance Fitness" brand with two fitness facilities located in Texas (Mansfield and Midlothian).

Follow Shawn: 

https://instagram.com/Shawn2ndChance

Reggie George, the owner of the "Father Figure" brand, shares a riveting testimony of faith. His family experienced unimaginable trauma when his teenage twin daughter was stabbed in the head at school by another male student. The details are too dark to share here...just know that God restores. Through this journey of faith, Reggie identified his purpose of building an international community of father figures to ensure every child has a positive male influence to help them navigate life. This is an ambitious mission; indeed, however, the Father Figure brand is growing at warp speed. All of which, he credits to the Father above.

Follow Reggie: 

https://instagram.com/FatherFigureApparel

James Johnson (co-host) provides a very transparent view of his experience as a father during his first marriage and what he experiences today in his current family dynamic. Divorce hurts all parties involved in some manner. His relationship with the children from the first marriage are strained, and you can see the pain in his demeanor as he talks about it. The lessons learned facilitated his growth as a man, but it is bittersweet at best. "Pay attention," he says. The message is to be mindful of your behavior and how it impacts those around you, especially the children. Don't learn the lesson at the expense of your relationship. 

Follow Shawn: 

https://instagram.com/JeyBlac

Me...well, I get pretty vulnerable as well (per usual). Enough about that though, this is a very meaningful discussion, and I pray that it blesses you. As always, I welcome your feedback and perspective. It takes a village.

#fatherhood #daddyissues #accountable #blackfathers #fatherandson #blackexcellence #survivor #overcomeaddiction #fatherfigure 

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The DSP: https://thedearsonpodcast.com

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The Three Foundational Pillars of the DSP Community

1. Reveal trauma 

2. Heal from trauma

3. Help through telling stories of it all

“Better Man. Better Father.”

Finding profit in your purpose is a life hack, but many of us think that these are conflicting principles. For those that are courageous enough to jump into the deep end of the purpose pool with both feet, that leap of faith is also paired with financial frustrations as the money may not flow steadily if at all. Now the reward isn't due simply because the individual went 'all-in,' but there is a reasonable path to finding fulfillment...and funding. 

Entrepreneurship is a roller-coaster kind of journey. To be successful you must grow individually, make tough decisions and sacrifices, and (where applicable) keep your personal relationships together. Sometimes the challenge is that the people around you aren't growing, stretching, and changing at the rate that you are. This is especially critical in marriages; more so if entrepreneurship wasn't in the cards when you got married. 

Phillip provides some very practical perspectives about his journey to become a successful small business owner. We also discussed the importance of podcasting to the future of business. The industry is still relatively new, and opportunities abound. As a father transitioning into full-time entrepreneurship, this was an important conversation for me. I want my sons to know that you can be a responsible provider while doing something that you love.

As always, I welcome your feedback and perspective. It takes a village.

#fatherhood #entrepreneurship  #smallbusinessowner #blackfathers #fatherandson #blackexcellence

Follow Phillip: 

https://instagram.com/askphillip

Checkout his podcasting course:

http://phillipwashingtonjr.com

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The Three Foundational Pillars of the DSP Community

1. Reveal trauma 

2. Heal from trauma

3. Help through telling stories of it all

“Better Man. Better Father.”

Many of us take our senses for granted until one of them is compromised. Furthermore, once compromised, how would you respond? Personally, I cannot imagine living life without physical sight (or any sense for that matter), especially as a father with young children. This conversation gives us a bit of perspective on what life is like for the father and the child.

Poetré is a rare breed. He’s an artist’s artist. His soul is seasoned, and it shines vividly through his music. This conversation reveals his joyful outlook on life, which can be credited to the example set by his hero, his father. He paints the picture of a loving father, who was always hustling to ensure his family never lacked. A musician as well, his father is a chip off the Stevie Wonder block. His mastery of the keys is the primary qualification for that comparison; however, losing his sight made the parallel more convincing. 

Poetré is a gifted writer with roots founded in the spoken word genre. He admired his father from the toddler stage and could be found somewhere nearby playing the drums as his father played the keys. His music has soul…meaning…life! Some songs are heavier than others, but they all seem to just feel good. There just might be a snippet from his next single somewhere in the episode.  There’s so much more to say, but that’s what the episode is for. Grab a snack. This is a good one!

As always, I welcome your feedback and perspective. It takes a village.

#fatherhood #Gastroparesis #diabetes #blackfathers #fatherandson #blackexcellence 

Follow Poetré: https://instagram.com/iam_poetre

Consider supporting the By Faith Not Sight non-profit organization: https://byfaithnotsight.org

“We aim to support, bring hope, and encourage families and individuals who experience various types of illnesses such as Gastroparesis, Diabetes, and other stress related illnesses.” (Excerpt from website)

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The Three Foundational Pillars of the DSP Community

1. Reveal trauma 

2. Heal from trauma

3. Help through telling stories of it all

“Better Man. Better Father.”

This episode is the epitome of the platform's mission. In order to bridge the generational gaps, we need to understand perspectives of those that blazed the trail before us. How was fatherhood shaped in the early 1900s? Did the dads of old face similar challenges that are prevalent today?

In this episode, Kevin Stalling shares a rich family history of entrepreneurship, business ownership, world-traveling, and, unfortunately, loss. He credits his father for molding him into the successful father and business-owner that he is today, and his big sister for teaching him the ways of the world. 

Kevin's fatherhood journey wasn't without hardships. He shared how the initial news that he would be a father was "the worst thing" at the time. Let's be clear, he wasn't on a path to be a deadbeat dad. He just wasn't prepared. That phase didn't last long, and Kevin adapted to his greatest calling in life, fatherhood. I don't consider his story to be the typical experience, but there were many themes that resonated with me.

As always, I welcome your feedback and perspective. It takes a village.

#fatherhood #daddyissues #accountable #blackfathers #fatherandson #blackexcellence 

Prodigal Sight & Sound | Full-service audio and video installations and product sales.

Authorized Dealer: Panasonic, Sony, Pioneer, Polk Audio

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The Three Foundational Pillars of the DSP Community

1. Reveal trauma 

2. Heal from trauma

3. Help through telling stories of it all

“Better Man. Better Father.”

Sometimes men don't know what they're lacking in life until fatherhood sets in. Ideally, there would be a deep catalog of positive experiences and references to pull from...a how-to manual of sorts. That's extremely aspirational even in the best scenarios. Where do men learn to be men? How does each man learn best? The truth is, a man will learn by what is modeled throughout his life. Good or bad, some version of manhood is being taught everyday.

This conversation with Brandon was therapeutic for me. Our backgrounds are different, but the challenges of fatherhood resonated with me as I'm sure it will with other men. His story is colorful, eventful, and traumatic. He recalls all of it with a smile on his face, masking the hurtful moments that have shaped who is today. Through it all, he has chosen to be better than what was was modeled throughout his life, and strive to give his family gets a better version of him everyday. This is a good one.

Follow Brandon: 

https://instagram.com/bbrad00

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The Three Foundational Pillars of the DSP Community

1. Reveal trauma 

2. Heal from trauma

3. Help through telling stories of it all

“Better Man. Better Father.”

What are we really teaching our sons? Most dads have an immediate response listing all the topics that are most important or memorable to them, but what are the children learning from their actions? They know the difference between their parents’ talk and their walk. We had a deep discussion about teaching them to be tough, choosing friends, music and other cultural influences. 

My conversation counterpart, James Johnson, brought the energy again. I mean, he’s a DSN community fave, and more of a recurring co-host at this point. His perspective on the impact of the circles our sons choose is poignant and quite timely. We covered a lot, yet there’s so much left to unpack 

As always, I welcome your feedback and perspective. It takes a village.

#fatherhood #daddyissues #accountable #blackfathers #fatherandson #blackexcellence 

Flexxion Chiropractic

1201 N Watson Rd (at 360 & 30) 

Arlington, TX

Follow James: 

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Let’s connect socially: 

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The Three Foundational Pillars of the DSP Community

1. Reveal trauma 

2. Heal from trauma

3. Help through telling stories of it all

“Better Man. Better Father.”

Enjoy the visual experience: https://youtu.be/dLFUPPlJn0k

Accountability is the true measure of a man. Oftentimes we search for excuses as to why a man behaves a certain way. Perhaps his father wasn't around; or maybe, his father set a terrible example. I personally believe that there are more great examples of fatherhood than there are of terrible fathers, but that's a conversation for another episode. I am certain that there are men out here defying the odds, working through, and healing from trauma, and generally being the change that they want to see. 

This conversation with Forrest Brooks is proof. We discussed somewhat taboo topics like church hurt, abandonment, and what happens when a father starts a new family with someone else. How do you extract the positives from those experiences and live a healthy healed adult life? Jump into this episode to get our perspectives. I'm not suggesting that you will agree, but I'm certain this episode will initiate a conversation in your mind, family, and maybe even your community. Be blessed.

As always, I welcome your feedback and perspective. It takes a village.

#fatherhood #daddyissues #accountable #blackfathers #fatherandson #blackexcellence 

Follow Forrest: 

https://instagram.com/poshforrest

https://instagram.com/thisisthecouch

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Let’s connect socially: 

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The Three Foundational Pillars of the DSP Community

1. Reveal trauma 

2. Heal from trauma

3. Help through telling stories of it all

“Better Man. Better Father.”

Dear Son, they're shooting at me! In this episode I caught up with my teenage son to get his perspective on school safety and the dangers of being tough (or at least trying to be). I shared a story about one of my run-ins with gun violence. Some days I'm paralyzed by the thought that my son might, at some point, have a similar experience. 

Violence is so prevalent, that it can become numbing to kids, teenagers...and adults. Part of the struggle is navigating what is too much exposure, too soon. Part of me enjoys subscribing to the myth that ignorance is bliss. The rest of me wants to ensure my children know how to fight. The dichotomy. 

As always, I welcome your feedback and perspective. It takes a village.

#blackfathers #fatherandson #blackexcellence #entrepreneurship #toughguy

Also, if you've made it this far, don't forget to:

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Support the podcast by supporting our sponsors: 

Listen More Talk Less:  https://l-m-t-l.myshopify.com

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Let’s connect socially: 

 https://instagram.com/thedearsonpodcast

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The Three Foundational Pillars of the DSP Community

1. Reveal trauma 

2. Heal from trauma

3. Help through telling stories of it all

“Better Man. Better Father.”