Death Becomes Him

Maria’s loss is so personal. Throughout this entire series we’ve heard from people who have had very unique experiences but Maria’s might be the one that is hardest for most to understand.

In 2019, Maria Moynihan and her husband Danny discovered that they were expecting their first child. But as the weeks went on, the couple discovered their son Danann was suffering from a rare disorder. Here Maria talks about preparing for her son’s birth and death together. It’s a remarkably touching story, one that highlights the reality of parenthood and the unbreakable bonds of family.

When we grieve, there is an overwhelming urge to relieve the pain. Our bodies cry out for comfort, for support, for numbing, for crying, for whatever coping may seem right. And when a death is unexpected,  that need for relief is even stronger.

But when Cian Sullivan lost his sister Arwen in 2020 so much of his grieving process was halted by the early days of lockdown. And despite the usual coping mechanisms being denied, Cian has one of the most profound insights on loss, acceptance and compassion I have ever heard.

When we talk about loss we talk about the overwhelming sadness, the grief, the shock. But what we often forget is the disruption of death – it’s something that Sinead Barry was forced to face in 2019. On new years days 2019, Sinead’s husband Michael was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. When he died in March, the couple’s new home was half built. Today she talks about the kindness of strangers and how sometimes it really takes a village to help us move forward.

Words fail to describe the tragedy of Geraldine Mullan’s loss. In August 2020,  Geraldine and her family were driving home to Moville when the car veered into Lough Foyle. The accident claimed the lives of the three people Geraldine loved most, her husband John and children Tomás and Amelia. Today she talks about her own trauma and how trying to face the fear of the water has brought her closer to her family.

We’re so used to seeing Lisa Cannon composed, together and glammed up to the nines. But behind it all, Lisa has been deeply reflecting on her grief and how it has changed her. Today she opens up about losing her mum Laura 13 years ago to cancer. During that battle, Laura got a beautiful dog Lulu who became such a comfort to her that Laura battled through another year of treatment. This year when Lulu passed, past grief resurfaced and today Lisa opens up about how grief can creep up even years later.

Today Colleen McNally opens up about the passing of her son Daragh. In 2019, 11-year-old Daragh passed after a battle with aggressive lymphoma. Colleen has been sharing her grief and experiences on instagram since then on the page @daraghs_balloon_ride.

Today she talks to me about how for her, time does not heal, but rather she has learned to live with the pain.

For the first episode of this season we talk to a man who’s story has already been plastered over national media. In January 2020, Andrew McGinley lost his three children  Conor, Darragh and Carla to homicide. His wife Deirdre, suffering from a psychiatric disorder, had suffocated the children while Andrew was at work. In May of 2021, her trial revealed the true tragedy of the events, the extent of her illness and the trauma that the family endured. Andrew talks today about life with Deirdre, the verdict of the trial and opens up about the everydayness of grief.

For much of the time I have been doing this podcast we have been in a lockdown.

It’s meant that these conversations have been one of the main supports for me as I coped with my own grief. It’s been a sort of group therapy and I believe the strength I’ve gained over the past number of months has been a result of not only sharing my experiences but listening to other people too. This is something Fiona Tuomey talks about in today’s episode of Death Becomes Him – when she lost her daughter Milly at the age of 11 to suicide, Fiona searched for a suicide support group in Dublin to help her with her grief but could not find one. So, after much discussion, research and support HUGG was established in February 2017 and since then supports hundreds families impacted by suicide each year.

On today’s episode, Brian talks to Zoe Holohan. Zoe opens up about the loss and trauma she suffered when husband Brian died on the couple’s honeymoon in 2018. The newlyweds we’re celebrating in Mati, Greece, when wildfires swept across the region. The fires claimed 102 lives.

On this episode of Death Becomes Him, I chat to Sarah Battle. Sarah is known for sharing snaps of her gorgeous home and family on her account house by the whitethorns. But behind it all, Sarah has been grieving her sister Kate. Kate was diagnosed with a brain tumour in 2014, and sadly passed 18 months later. Sarah talks about living with grief and how she learned to process Kate’s passing through therapy and support from her family.

Sarah talks about grief in a way that really resonated with me. Her life is full of joy and happiness now but there is still a part of her that wishes Kate could be there to experience it too. And though it’s heartbreaking, to me it’s a sign of great love. Kate was so adored and so important that Sarah still thinks about her every day.

Next week I chat to Zoe Holohan. Zoe tragically lost her husband Brian on Honeymoon in 2018 and opens up about the trauma of the incident.