Deeper Still

Maddy grew up in a Christian family, but one of frequent transitions. Her sheltered home life and difficult transition to college left her very vulnerable to predatory behavior. Her college boyfriend was charismatic and drew her in, but ultimately, he became very controlling and abusive. When she got pregnant, she went to a Planned Parenthood, and the doctor told her she was not healthy enough to carry a child. She felt she had no choice but to follow his recommendation of abortion.

Deena experienced physical complications after the abortion she had at age twenty. She also experienced depression and coped by drinking alcohol. As a result, she nearly didn't get into the program that prompted her to seek the abortion in the first place. In her senior year, she found the man she would eventually marry. Each time happy things would happen, she felt like, at some point, something bad would happen because of the abortion. She had three children on earth but couldn't acknowledge that she actually had four children, until her Deeper Still retreat. She also saw the men at her retreat who had lost fatherhood due to abortion and realized how her decision to have an abortion must have hurt the father of the baby, who did not want her to have it. She expressed how sorry she was that she took away his choice to be a father.

Though Deena grew up in a Christian home with loving adoptive parents, she still wondered about her birth family and why she wasn't wanted. As she grew up, she had a poor self-image and wrestled with memories of sexual abuse she experienced when she was five by her older brother, who showed her pornography that he had. She remembers having feelings at age five that she was not mature enough to process. She lost her virginity at age fourteen, and that sexual permissiveness continued into her college years, which led to a pregnancy and then an abortion. She had a complication after the surgical abortion and had to go back and have another D&C.

Jamie tried to commit suicide after the abuse from her boyfriend and the abortion he pressured her into. The counseling she received in the hospital and after helped her learn about what abuse was, but the abortion wasn't addressed as intentionally. After her relationship with God grew, she felt safer to heal from her abortion. She felt she was healed until she went to a Deeper Still retreat and got a profound healing from God.

Jamie's early childhood was idyllic, but after her parents divorced and a move when she was a teenager, she became very lonely. In her desire to fit in, she did what her peers did in high school and ended up in a sexual relationship. That boyfriend became abusive. She got pregnant by him when they were in college, and he coerced her into an abortion.

Maddy left her abusive boyfriend when he went to jail. She returned home to her parents' house, but her life was still full of substance abuse and loneliness. Although she grew up in church, she did not have a personal relationship with Jesus until her 22nd birthday, when her life changed dramatically, and she began to follow Jesus wholeheartedly. She got married to a wonderful man, but experienced infertility. Maddy felt like she was being punished by God. Only after going through intentional healing did forgiveness from God move from her head to her heart.

Maddy is a pastor's daughter who was abused by a member of her church as a child. This abuse and the need to try to be perfect as a pastor's daughter led to seeking love and attention when she was a teenager. She ended up in an abusive relationship, which led to pregnancy. Her boyfriend and his mother pressured her for an abortion. As a pastor's daughter, she did not want to be a disappointment to her family. She left the abortion clinic a changed person.

Dr. Donna Harrison from the American Association of Pro-life Obstetricians and Gynecologists (AAPLOG) discusses the protection a full-term pregnancy (especially the first pregnancy) provides for the breast tissue. She explains the mechanism whereby abortion can leave the breast tissue in an abortion prone state and the importance of careful monitoring for early detection if you have an abortion in your past.

Mike and David talk about the ways that abortion impacts men and how men can become the men God always intended them to be through healing after an abortion. Be strong and of great courage!

Mike and David talk about how abortion impacts men and why it is so important for men to pursue healing to restore their manhood.