This week, Dylan is joined by his longtime friend and resident science man, Connor. After Dylan decimates his childhood, they dive into Connor's background in geology and find out why sand is interesting, determine that the moon is made of cheese, how Florida is the most Florida state ever, and why we should abandon all religion and worship the mantle.*

*If you need to know why the mantle rules, click here. This GIF is very helpful for our chat on it.

I am joined by NYC's Husbandry, which kind of makes sense since one of them helped work on the theme song for this podcast. Jordan and Arnau tell me about how picking a band name is the worst, engage in some cat acrobatics, adapt to the new normal to keep the local scene alive, and witness Dennis Rodman making it rain for Moon Tooth.

Just after 15 minutes in, it sounds like a UFO is flying by. Must be looking for demon sperm.

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Song featured in "Bete Noir" from A Port in a Storm

Fellow doomster Ivana Decaro joins Dylan as they revisit trip pants, get the low down on Joe Rogan, eat too many edibles but curb their drinking, get weirded out by Garth Brooks, hack Twitter, and determine that "Jesus Chrust" is basically a swear word.

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Also, the kicking new theme song is courtesy of Jordan Usatch from Husbandry and Nick Lee from Moon Tooth! Go give their bands some love!

In today's episode, we are talking food with Dylan's buddy, August West, whom you might know from his frequent appearances on Diary of Doom, usually talking about smoking weed and very long songs about smoking weed. They discuss his time as a chef over the last ten years, Dylan relates a heinous experience at Ruby Tuesday's, and the two get overly enthusiastic about a Tex Mex joint in New Jersey.

Dylan's longtime friend and musician, Blunt Prophet, drops by the Defenders cave to talk about creating his absurdist rapper alter ego, the failure of the American Dream (mall), how much Josh Gottheimer sucks, Scientology, COVID conspiracies, and then discover some long lost iTunes purchases.

Check out the Prophet over at Bandcamp

Fellow metal head Eitan Lidergot drops in to talk about the state of mental health against the backdrop of coronavirus and the Black Lives Matter movement, and its unique link to music.

In the debut episode of Defenders of the Cake, Dylan and Sarah discuss the hot garbage shitshow that is Cats. Tom Hooper will never be asked to film the Dylan Gonzalez life story.