“It's like everyone tells a story about themselves inside
their own head. Always. All the time. That story makes you what you are. We build ourselves out of that story.” [Patrick Rothfuss,
The Name of the Wind].
In narrative practice, identity is seen as fluid and
continually constructed through the stories people tell about themselves. At times in our lives, we can believe that a particular part of our identity defines us completely or may define us forever. By helping people explore and reshape these narratives, narrative practice fosters a renewed sense of personal agency and empowers us to develop a more positive, clear, and adaptive sense of identity.
Jorge is a man who has loosened the constraining knot of a
single story and opened his self-definition up to the multitude of stories that accompany his identity. In the sharing of his story, Jorge talks about the great lengths he went to by camouflaging his identity. The emotional masking
and code switching he adeptly mastered allowed him to present a different identity to the world. Internally, however, he was consumed with viewing himself through the single lens of his sexuality.
We can all train ourselves to fit the identity we think the
world demands from us and this can place incredible strain and mental anguish on us. Whether the identify is self-made or inherited, part of the work we all need to do is repeatedly redefine who we are. We are continuously birthing new
versions of our identity and some of those identities require a lot of labour before they can be enacted with our full commitment to what we stand for and how this aligns with our values and hopes and life commitments.
More than one aspect of who we are can be true
simultaneously and we are seldom just one thing when we show up in relationship with others. We enact multiple roles at all times. Our sexuality doesn’t need to lead the definition of who we are. Staying vigilant to validating who we are
and how we are experienced in the world is the work we all need to do to reduce the gap between who we say we are and what we do. When we show up as authentically ourselves there is a multiplier effect for our lives and the structures in which we work, live and play. Genuinely safe workplaces are liberated by the acceptance they bring forward in the face of differences.
Psychologically safe environments require a special kind of
leader who knows how to deal with difficult situations, hard conversations and the messiness of being human. Jorge attributes the amazing leaders he had in his life as being the catalysts for his own emancipation from the restraints of
an all-consuming single storied plot line in his narrative. He now brings that same kindness and generous humanity to the workplaces in which he is a leader. We are all the better for leaders like Jorge who show us that we need to be
authentic, and we can safely practice being authentic at work and in all parts of our lives. Enjoy listening to how Jorge learned the power of becoming Jorge.
