Definitely First Blood

In this DFBShorts we’re talking about Andrew Murga’s 2005 Zombie/Ghost film THE DEAD HATE THEIR LATE FEES!!! When employees are locked in their video store on Halloween night in order to solve a string of employee deaths and become manager, they have to contend with the undead!

Witches, vampires, ghouls and goblins! This week we’re talking 1985 made-for-TV movie THE MIDNIGHT HOUR!!! Starring Jonelle Allen, Lee Montgomery, Shari Belafonte, LeVar Burton and Peter DeLuise, the midnight Hour is about five friends who accidentally unleash a Witch’s curse on their small town and summon all the undead and a bunch of demons. It’s a fun, very Halloweeny romp that’s extremely light on plot, but very enjoyable. I'm dead, you’re dying. Everybody should try it, get dead!

Christopher is back from his journey and this week we’re dipping into The Asylum with extremely 2006 slasher HALLOWEEN NIGHT! Ten years after being admitted to an asylum following his Mother’s murder Chris Vale escapes and heads home where a group of college pals are having their annual Halloween party! Written by Michael Gingold and Directed by Mark Atkins, this movie is actually a pretty solid slasher. There’s some jarring slurs and some extreme sexualization of a lesbian couple, but overall it’s a pretty enjoyable flick that’s decently acted, looks nice and doesn’t drag. Stan Shannon!

We’ve lost our heads this week as we kick off our Halloween episodes with Anthony C. Ferrante’s 2007 slasher HEADLESS HORSEMAN!!! Seven friends make a wrong turn and end up in Wormwood, just in time for their Headless Horseman ritual where they give him heads… and he needs exactly 7 of them to regain his own! It’s definitely silly and the characters make no good or logical choices and there are more mid-00’s horror tropes than you can shake a fist at - but it’s like a kid’s Halloween movie for adults and it’s a lot of fun. It’s buried… underground!

Gay jokes and slurs galore! Hilary Duff would not stand for this. This week we’re talking about Stephen Tyler’s THE LAST SLUMBER PARTY! This slasher stars Jan Jensen, Nancy Meyer and Joann Whitley as a trio of friends who kick off their summer vacay with a slumber party that gets crashed by some boys and also a scalpel-wielding maniac who escaped from one of their Dad’s psychiatric hospitals because he didn’t want a lobotomy. We talk about the mystery surrounding the cinematographer, discuss the stolen footage and more! This movie isn’t great but it’s weird enough to be fun - despite the rampant homophobia! We’re notorious homosexuals!

This week we’re talking about a movie that dares to ask “How many times can we reuse the same shots?”, James Shyman’s HOLLYWOOD’S NEW BLOOD! This slasher stars Bobby Johnston, Francine Lapensee, Martie Allyne and Joe Balogh as an acting class staying at a cabin in the woods where 16 years earlier a film crew accidentally killed an entire family when they rigged the wrong house for explosion. How? Not sure. Anyway, this movie is awful and amazing.. but thankfully the best character survives for once! Poop, all I got was this crummy old pinecone!

WARNING: SPOILERS!!! This week we’ve got a stream-of-consciousness episode with our thoughts on Nia DaCosta’s CANDYMAN starring Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Teyonah Parris, Colman Domingo and Vanessa Williams! It’s a beautifully shot with some cool kills and visuals! We really enjoyed it!

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR THE FOLLOWING MOVIES: Blood Red Sky (2021), Crystal Eyes (2017), Here Comes Hell (2019)!!! In this episode we’re just blabbing and gabbing about the movies we’ve watched recently!

This week we’re talking to very funny 1987 horror-comedy DOOM ASYLUM! Although criminally short, this movie is fantastic! When Kiki and friends venture out for a picnic at the asylum near the site her mother was killed in a car crash, they come face-to-face with her disfigured lawyer boyfriend Mitch! Directed by Richard Friedman, it stars Patty Mullen, a young Kristin Davis, Ruth Collins, Farin and Harrison White as our would-be victims. There’s commentary on social issues and the genre as a whole, everybody seems like they’re having a great time and its a very fun watch! It’s not a delusion, it’s a psychopath!!!

What do you do when your friend was murdered by an infamous serial killer in the basement of your rental house where you’ve just discovered the mummified remains of his family? Just kinda hangout upstairs! This week we’re talking about 1989 South African slasher RETURN OF THE FAMILY MAN! In “America”, a trio of friends (one of whom is in hiding after getting stuck in the middle of a drug war while delivering pizza) and a group of international tourists end up renting the same house at the same time! What terrible luck! To make matters worse, it used to belong to The Family Man (a prolific and apparently internationally known mass murderer) who has broken free and is on his way to them! Most deaths happen off-screen, none of the decisions make any sense and the only character who tries to fight back (with a homemade flamethrower) ends up having her face stuck in a food processor. Justice for Libby!!!