I almost got run over in a Dollar Tree parking lot, and I almost went T-1000 from Terminator.

Kingston, North Carolina: A former Little Caesars employee broke in and started making pizzas - and selling the pizzas.

A man in Commerce City, Colorado was seen in an intersection on a unicycle juggling fire.

Wisconsin caught a serial pooper, which is a sad thing to have to type.

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Lindsey Vonn (41) announces she will compete in the 2026 Winter Olympics after sustaining a left knee injury (ruptured ACL) in a crash that occurred last week.

The NFL will return to Mexico City and Spain for regular season games in 2026.

Super Bowl week has the Pro Bowl flag football game that had Broncos tackle, Garett Bolles catching touchdowns from Shedeur Sanders.

Super Bowl 60’s halftime show with Bad Bunny is still dividing the nation. I explain why you shouldn’t get wrapped up in the negativity, and watch whatever the heck you want without spreading hate.

I share my hilarious stories from covering Super Bowls. From accidentally sticking my finger in Terrell Davis’ mouth, to Mark Schlereth spitting milk in my face.

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Floridians eating frozen iguanas.

Artemis II has been delayed into March.

McDonald’s is giving away caviar McNuggets.

French emergency room was evacuated due to a man coming in with a WW1 artillery shell up his rectum. This is not the first time this has happened. A similar story happened to an elderly man in 2022.

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The winter Olympics start this week, and I still think I could be a competitive curler if given six months of practice.

Jamal Murray got his first All-Star selection - but he doesn’t seem to think he’s missed much.

The Oklahoma City Thunder are the Denver Nuggets’ achilles heel.

MEH OR YEAH?

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Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow, so 6 more weeks of winter. DeHuff gives you a list of other Groundhog days mascots - including some rejected ones.

DIA (Denver International Airport) needs about $12m to upgrade and clean its tunnel system. Now Connery is thinking it has to do with reptilian people.

Flight crew forced to scoop feces. Philippine Airlines had all 11 of its toilet break on a 15 hour flight.

Frozen lizards are a problem in Florida.

Artemis II is scheduled to launch on Super Bowl Sunday. It’ll orbit the moon then head back to Earth. But Connery is suspicious.

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Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow, so 6 more weeks of winter. DeHuff gives you a list of other Groundhog days mascots - including some rejected ones.

DIA (Denver International Airport) needs about $12m to upgrade and clean its tunnel system. Now Connery is thinking it has to do with reptilian people.

Flight crew forced to scoop feces. Philippine Airlines had all 11 of its toilet break on a 15 hour flight.

Frozen lizards are a problem in Florida.

Artemis II is scheduled to launch on Super Bowl Sunday. It’ll orbit the moon then head back to Earth. But Connery is suspicious.

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Bill Belichick got snubbed by the Pro Football Hall of Fame, and HOFer Jimmy Johnson is not happy about it.

Denver Broncos head coach Sean Payton may have crossed a line with Bo Nix and his injury.

Shedeur Sanders was named to the Pro Bowl due to Drake Maye going to the Super Bowl.

Todd Monken got the HC job for the Browns, and Emmanuel Acho gave terrible advice to Shedeur Sanders in regards to it.

Jim Schwartz didn’t get the Cleveland Browns head coach job, so he stormed off like a baby.

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DeHuff upset a spam caller and now might be on a special list.

Columbia Sportswear has a beer made from bear poop called Nature Calls.

Sydney Sweeney is under fire by the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce, after a promo stunt for her Syrn lingerie brand had her leaving a bra on the famed Hollywood sign. Connery defends Sydney.

Skier mauled by snow leopard after getting too close for a picture. Aussie the Animal Expert chimes in - poorly.

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The Denver Broncos lost to the New England Patriots. Jarrett Stidham did not impress anyone. Sean Payton opted to not kick an easy field goal, and mix that with a terrible Stidham turnover, and the Broncos missed out on Super Bowl 60.

We hear from Will Lutz, Jarrett Stidham, Sean Payton, and RJ Harvey.

The LA Rams ended up losing to the Seattle Seahawks. The best story: Sam Darnold is headed to the Super Bowl!

Daredevil, Alex Honnold scaled a 1,667-foot skyscraper without ropes in Netflix’s ‘Skyscraper Live’. Too bad most people watched for a disturbing reason.

The Wienie 500 is scheduled for May 22, and I’m very excited!!

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Most of the United States is frozen.

A Florida man could go to prison for 5 years after throwing a ketchup packet.

A Delaware man had intercourse with a s3x worker on a school bus. Connery was blindsided by this story.

Man accused of stuffing brisket, wine down pants at Florida supermarket. Cowboy DeHuff knows BBQ, and said that it has a special name.

#funnynews #newsupdate #news #comedy #humor #crime

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