Deliberate Life™

We often believe in the myth that relaxation must be earned—that we can only truly rest after being productive. However, we recognise that this belief, while deeply ingrained, is not necessarily helpful. Relaxation should not be conditional, yet many of us struggle to truly unwind. The conversation explores different perspectives on what relaxation means, distinguishing it from simply sleeping or taking a break. We reflect on how modern distractions, like social media, create the illusion of relaxation while actually adding to our stress. True relaxation, we realise, is about restoring our physical, mental, and emotional states—allowing us to reset and be more present in our daily lives.

To truly relax, we find that engaging in structured activity before stillness can be a powerful method—whether through intense exercise, breathwork, or even laughter. Practices like yoga, running, or time spent in nature prepare us for a deeper state of relaxation, fostering resilience and creativity. We also acknowledge that relaxation looks different for everyone; for some, it involves solitude and quiet, while for others, it might be time spent with animals or engaging in hands-on activities. Ultimately, making relaxation an intentional part of our lives—rather than something squeezed in after productivity—allows us to live with greater balance, clarity, and well-being.

In this episode, we dive into the reflective process of personal growth and intention-setting as the year draws to a close. We explore how stillness, the balance of being versus doing, and self-leadership have been prominent themes in our lives throughout 2024. We emphasise cultivating personal growth through tools like journaling, meditation, and deliberate reflection on our life journeys. As we discuss, memories evolve over time, and journaling provides a unique way to connect with our past selves, enriching our reflections and guiding our future. For us, setting intentions isn’t about rigid goal-setting but rather a flexible framework that helps align our aspirations with the more prominent themes of our lives.

We also reflect on how stepping outside our comfort zones can spark profound growth. We emphasise the value of community and shared experiences in fostering growth, drawing on the connection and support of like-minded individuals. We discuss examples of transformative retreats and the importance of those in personal development. To close, we share a creative New Year’s exercise: writing a letter to ourselves filled with intentions to be mailed later in the year as a reminder of our aspirations. This practice ties together the themes of reflection, growth, and intentional living that guide our journeys.

Towards the end of the episode we talk about a personal growth challenge that will be launched on WhatsApp on 7 January. If you are interested in taking part, please contact Bart or Pia directly. You will find our contact details on vidya-cc.com

In this episode, we dive into the transformative power of breathwork with Tim van der Vliet (Bart’s brother), a global breathwork coach and creator of the TT5 technique. Tim shares his journey from high-stress stock trading to finding balance and purpose through breathwork, eventually becoming one of the world’s leading breathwork specialists. With his signature blend of science and simplicity, Tim explains how deliberate breathwork can reduce stress, improve focus, boost athletic performance, and even decrease inflammation. He emphasises the accessibility of breathwork, highlighting how just five minutes a day can create profound mental and physical well-being shifts.

We also explore the science behind breathwork, discussing its effects on the autonomic nervous system, cardiovascular health, and cellular energy production. Tim demonstrates his TT5 technique—a quick and powerful practice that blends intentional breathing with moments of stillness. Whether you’re seeking calm before a big meeting or looking to enhance your daily mindfulness routine, this episode offers practical insights and tools to harness the full potential of your breath. Visit Tim’s website at https://www.timvandervliet.com/ or try the Breathing Room App, which is available on the App Store and Google Play.

In this episode, we explore the emotional responses that arise from common, everyday triggers, focusing on how we become aware of and manage them. The conversation starts with a look at the stress of queuing at airport gates, where many of us experience heightened anxiety over small things, like whether there will be space for our luggage. Even when we know the anxiety is irrational, it persists. This leads us to reflect on how being conscious of these reactions allows us to manage them better over time, even if they remain part of our lives. We touch on various examples, from stress at the airport to dealing with unknown callers and the immediate negative reactions they evoke.

We delve deeper into the concept of triggers—both positive and negative—and how they influence our energy and interactions with the world around us. For example, the feeling of anger after hitting our head or the satisfaction of seeing a free taxi can have immediate emotional impacts. These triggers shape our behaviour and, by extension, the environment we share with others. By understanding what triggers us, we can start to regulate our reactions and potentially shift how we respond. The episode closes with the idea of keeping a “trigger journal” to better recognize the patterns in our emotional responses and become more mindful of how we bring our emotional state into our interactions.

In this podcast episode, we delve into the concept of mentorship, tracing its historical roots back to figures like Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle and exploring its evolution into the modern corporate and personal development contexts. We discuss the distinctions and overlaps between mentorship and coaching, pondering how each plays a role in personal and professional growth. The conversation reflects on how mentorship has been a fundamental part of human development, facilitating the transfer of wisdom across generations. We consider the nature of mentorship as a relationship where more experienced individuals share their knowledge. This is similar to and different from coaching, which is often more structured and may not require the coach to have direct experience in the same fields as their clients.

Further, we explore our personal experiences with mentorship, both as mentors and mentees. We discuss how the mentorship dynamics can vary, emphasising that while mentors typically offer guidance drawn from their experience, the best mentor-mentee relationships are reciprocal, where both parties learn from each other. This reciprocity enriches the relationship, making it a profound learning experience for both. The dialogue also touches upon the informal mentorship roles we might play in our lives without necessarily labelling them as such, highlighting how these relationships shape personal and professional development in significant ways. The episode encourages listeners to reflect on their own relationships and consider whether they might benefit from seeking a mentor or becoming one, thus fostering a culture of continuous learning and wisdom-sharing.

In this podcast episode, we come back to one of our favourite topics: Learning. We discuss the importance of understanding and leveraging personal strengths in professional and personal development. By recounting our experiences from the past when learning wasn't a consciously integrated part of our lives to now, where it forms a crucial aspect of our daily activities, we emphasise the transformative power of learning. This reflection leads us to consider the various ways learning has shaped our careers, hobbies, and self-awareness, highlighting the shift from passive to active and intentional learning.

We discuss how learning is intertwined with our values and how it manifests in different aspects of our lives, such as professional development, personal interests like drawing and cooking, and even understanding complex concepts through formal education or self-driven inquiry. The conversation brings to light the notion that learning can be a highly motivating factor, enhancing mastery and personal growth. We share insights on how adopting a learning mindset can transform perceived failures into valuable lessons, promoting a positive outlook and resilience. Through these reflections, we encourage listeners to cultivate a learner's attitude, deliberately integrate learning into their life's fabric, and appreciate the continuous opportunities for growth and development.

In this podcast episode, we explore the concept of the "corporate athlete," comparing the performance and preparation strategies of professional athletes to those of corporate professionals. The discussion begins with reflections on the Olympic Games, noting how athletes meticulously prepare for major events, emphasizing the importance of recovery, rest, and focus. We highlight the concept of categorizing tasks into A, B, and C "races," with A races being the most critical events requiring peak performance, while B and C races serve as preparation or less critical tasks.

The conversation underscores the importance of planning, sustainability, and focus in corporate life, drawing parallels with how athletes manage their careers over the long term. We discuss the necessity of distinguishing between critical and less critical tasks, advocating for rest before major "races" and embracing a mindset that prioritizes recovery and resilience. The episode concludes by encouraging listeners to identify their "A races" in their professional lives and make deliberate changes to align their work habits with the practices of top athletes, ultimately aiming to achieve sustained high performance.

In this podcast episode, we delve into the profound influence that the people closest to us have on our personal growth and development. We explore the idea that "you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with," reflecting on how our relationships shape who we are. We discuss the dynamic nature of these relationships, noting that as the people around us change, so do we. This conversation is intertwined with personal anecdotes about family and the deliberate efforts to maintain strong sibling connections through annual trips and activities, emphasising the importance of intentional time spent together despite life’s inevitable changes.

Furthermore, we touch on reconnecting with old friends and the surprising depth and renewal these rekindled relationships can bring. This discussion branches into the strategies for maintaining these relationships, such as setting expectations and recognising the different roles various friends play in our lives. We highlight how these relationships mirror our personal development and discuss the potential shifts in dynamics as we evolve. The conversation invites listeners to consider who they spend their time with and how these choices affect their personal growth and happiness, encouraging a reflective approach to personal connections.

In this podcast episode, we explore the profound concept of rhythm in life as a more dynamic and integrated approach compared to the traditional notion of work-life balance. We recount a journey to Santiago de Compostela, where the experience of walking the pilgrimage illuminated thoughts about personal and environmental rhythms. We discuss how different rhythms, such as daily cycles and life stages, influence our actions and well-being. The conversation extends to how understanding these rhythms can lead to better integration of work and life, suggesting that life is not about balancing static elements but rather flowing with the natural rhythms that govern our existence.

Delving deeper, we reflect on how aligning with these natural rhythms—like those of sleep and wakefulness influenced by natural light—can enhance our health and productivity. The idea is extended metaphorically to organisations, comparing the life stages of a company to seasons, which highlights the importance of adapting to each phase for sustainability. We also touch upon personal experiences that underscore the importance of recognising and honouring our individual rhythms, such as being a morning person or understanding our optimal times for productivity and rest. Through these reflections, we encourage listeners to think of rhythm as a continuous movement and alignment with one’s intrinsic patterns, which offers a more fulfilling way to navigate life’s complexities.

In this episode, we discuss the common misconceptions about healthy eating, emphasising that what is considered healthy can vary greatly among individuals. Our conversation highlights that ultra-processed foods like vegan burgers and certain breakfast cereals are often mistakenly perceived as healthy. We also touch on the importance of understanding what constitutes ultra-processed foods and their potential health implications. We further discuss the significance of whole foods, using examples like eggs and yoghurt, and the evolving perceptions of their health benefits over time.

Then, we delve into broader aspects of nutrition, including the importance of timing of food intake, calorie intake, and diet variety. We advocate for a balanced approach to eating, suggesting an 80/20 rule where 80% of the diet consists of healthy, whole foods, and 20% allows for flexibility. We emphasise the importance of gut health, recommending a diet rich in fibre (prebiotics) and fermented foods (probiotics). The conversation also touches on the social and psychological aspects of eating, such as the benefits of sharing meals and being open to new dietary information.