Why you keep reverting to the parenting you swore you’d never do

Have you ever caught yourself responding to your child in a way that sounds exactly like your own parents — and immediately thought, “Where did that come from? That’s not who I want to be”?

It’s completely normal to feel frustrated and confused by this. You’ve done the reading. You’ve listened to the podcasts. You genuinely want to respond differently. And yet, in the middle of a hard moment, something old just... takes over. I know it’s hard when you feel like you’re working so hard and still sliding back.

There’s actually a really important reason this keeps happening, and it has almost nothing to do with willpower or how committed you are.

In my latest episode, I sat down with Olivia Bergeron — a psychotherapist, parent coach, and speaker who founded Mommy Groove Therapy — and she introduced a concept that stopped me in my tracks. After over 20 years of working with parents, she noticed a pattern: parents would come in motivated, learn the tools, start using them... and then gradually stop. Not because the strategies weren’t working. Something deeper was getting in the way.

She calls it the loyalty bind.

Here’s what that actually means in everyday terms. When you choose to parent differently from how you were raised, some part of you — usually a part operating completely below the surface — registers that as a kind of betrayal. Like you’re pointing a finger at your own parents and saying, “What you did wasn’t good enough.”

And for most of us who love our parents, even imperfectly, that feeling is deeply uncomfortable. So the unconscious mind quietly resists the change. You find yourself thinking, “I turned out okay. It wasn’t that bad.” And slowly, the old patterns creep back in.

Sound familiar? I think for most of us, it will.

What I love about the way Olivia frames this is that she’s not asking you to condemn your parents or tear apart your childhood. Quite the opposite. She talks about holding two things as true at the same time: your parents did their best with what they had, and you get to choose something different going forward. That’s not disloyalty. That’s the next generation carrying the work forward.

We also talked about what to do when your partner is the one stuck in the loyalty bind — when they’re not yet willing to question how they were raised, and you’re parenting from two completely different places. This is one of the most common struggles I hear from parents, and Olivia offers such a thoughtful, non-confrontational way to approach it.

The key, she says, is getting curious rather than coming in with your research and your argument. Asking questions like, “What was it like for you when you were 8 and something went wrong at home? How did your parents handle it? How did that feel?” That kind of gentle curiosity can open doors that a debate never could.

And then there was the piece I really didn’t want to skip over: grief. Olivia is clear that until we actually grieve what we didn’t get as children — the validation, the attunement, the emotional safety — it’s really hard to make lasting change. The strategies are important, and they are not enough on their own. The inside work has to happen alongside the outside tools.

This is the work I talk about constantly, and it was so affirming to hear a therapist with decades of experience say the same thing: you are not broken, and neither are your parents. You’re just the generation that got the new information. Now you get to decide what to do with it.

I promise you this conversation will bring you a lot of clarity — and maybe even a little relief about why change has felt so hard.

🎙️ Click below to listen to the full episode.

To Learn More About Olivia Bergeron, click here:

https://mommygroove.com/

https://mommygroove.thrivecart.com/the-good-mom-reset/

Before you go — I have something coming up that I think you’ll really want to know about.

If sibling conflict is a regular feature of life in your home — the bickering, the fighting over everything, the “she started it” that echoes down the hallway every single day — I have a free live workshop coming up on May 28th just for you.

I’ll be walking you through why sibling rivalry happens, what’s really going on underneath all that conflict, and what you can actually do and say in those moments to stop playing referee and start helping your kids work things out in a way that actually sticks.

It’s completely free, and I’d love to have you there.

👉 Register for the Sibling Workshop — May 28th

Connect with Dajana Yoakley Delight in Parenting

Step #1: Get the 3 Steps to Reset Your Nervous System FREE Guide.

Step #2: Connect With The FREE Facebook Community.Step #3: Follow me on Social Media:https://www.instagram.com/delightinparenting/https://www.facebook.com/delightinparentingcoaching/www.youtube.com/@DelightinParentinghttps://www.linkedin.com/in/delightinparenting/

I want to tell you about a moment I remember so clearly from early in my own parenting journey.

My son was melting down — fully, completely falling apart — over something that seemed so small to me. And everything in me just wanted it to stop. So I moved in with my most calm, firm mom voice: “Stop. Take a breath. You need to calm down right now.”

And you know what happened? He got louder. More dysregulated. More out of reach.

I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought staying firm and redirecting was the answer. And yet every time I tried harder to get him to stop, the meltdown got bigger. I felt like I was failing him — and honestly, like I was failing myself.

Have you ever been there? That awful feeling of watching your child fall apart and knowing that everything you’re doing isn’t working?

It’s completely normal to feel that way. Most parents do. And it’s not because you’re doing something wrong — it’s because nobody gave you the information you actually needed.

What I eventually learned — and what changed everything in our home — is that when a child is in the middle of big feelings, their nervous system is in protection mode. And you cannot force a nervous system out of protection mode. The more you push for calm, the more it pushes back.

What works is something that feels almost counterintuitive at first: staying present instead of pushing. Moving toward your child with “I see you, I’m here” instead of “stop, calm down, listen.” Not because you’re giving in — but because safety is what actually allows the nervous system to settle.

I made a short video this week that walks you through a hands-on exercise so you can feel this difference in your own body — not just understand it in your head. I promise it’s worth a few minutes of your time.

Watch it here:

And if you watch that video and something in you says “yes — this is exactly what’s happening in our house” — I want you to know there’s a place to go deeper.

My course, How to Help Your Child with Big Feelings and Challenging Behavior, is open for enrollment right now, and it closes Thursday at midnight.

This is where you go beyond the concept and actually learn what to do and what to say in the real moments — when your child is overwhelmed, when things are escalating, when you’re exhausted and you just don’t know what to try next. You’ll learn how to understand what’s happening beneath your child’s behavior, how to regulate your own nervous system so you can show up the way you want to, and how to respond in ways that actually help — not just in the short term, but over time.

I want to be upfront with you — I’m not sure when I’ll offer this course again in this format. If this feels like your window, I’d love to support you on the inside.

You can learn more and enroll here: https://www.delightinparenting.com/course2026

Enrollment closes tomorrow at midnight.

You are not broken. Your child is not broken. You just need the tools — and I have them ready for you.

With hope,

Dajana

P.S. Even if the course isn’t the right fit right now, go watch the video. The exercise alone will give you something tangible to try the next time things start to escalate.

What if the meltdown isn’t the problem?

What if the defiance… the pushback… the shutting down…

is actually your child’s nervous system asking for help?

Because for so many parents, it feels like this:

→ It starts small→ It escalates fast→ Suddenly you’re in a full meltdown or power struggle→ And nothing you try seems to work

You explain.You stay calm.You set a consequence.

…and somehow, it just gets worse.

In my latest podcast episode, I sat down with Ce Eshelman, a trauma-informed therapist, and she put words to something so many parents feel—but can’t quite explain.

She calls these moments “bewildering behaviors.”

Those reactions that feel confusing… intense… disproportionate.

The ones where you walk away thinking:

“Why did that get so big?”“Why didn’t anything work?”“What am I missing?”

And the answer isn’t what most of us were taught.

Here are 3 shifts from our conversation:

1. It’s not defiance—it’s dysregulation

When your child melts down, their brain is overwhelmed.

They’re not choosing how to respond in that moment.

They’re reacting.

Which is why logic, consequences, and explanations don’t land.

2. Behavior is a signal, not the problem

That meltdown? That pushback?

It’s communication.

Something inside your child feels too big, too fast, or too overwhelming to manage alone.

3. Understanding isn’t enough in the moment

Even when you get all of this…

it’s still incredibly hard to know what to actually DO when it’s happening in real life.

Because your nervous system gets activated too.

And suddenly you’re reacting… instead of responding.

🎙️ Click here to listen to the full podcast episode and hear how Ce breaks this down in a way that makes these moments finally make sense.

To learn more about Ce Eshelman:https://www.lovemattersparenting.com/about

Want more support?

If you’re listening to this and thinking, “This is exactly what’s happening in my home… but I still don’t know what to do or say in the moment,” you’re not alone.

I’m hosting a free workshop where I’ll walk you through exactly this—how to stay calm when your child is escalating, what to do and say in those meltdown moments, and how to shift the pattern so it stops turning into defiance and power struggles.

👉 Big Feelings Challenging Behavior Workshop

You don’t have to keep guessing your way through these moments. You’re not alone in this! Join us to get the support you need.

Connect with Dajana Yoakley Delight in Parenting

Step #1: Get the 3 Steps to Reset Your Nervous System FREE Guide.

Step #2: Connect With The FREE Facebook Community.Step #3: Follow me on Social Media:https://www.instagram.com/delightinparenting/https://www.facebook.com/delightinparentingcoaching/www.youtube.com/@DelightinParentinghttps://www.linkedin.com/in/delightinparenting/

Emilie Delworth, founder of The Peaceful Mother and a child development specialist with nearly two decades of experience working with infants, toddlers, and preschoolers, shares practical, science-backed tools for understanding why your child struggles to calm down — and what they actually need from you in those hard moments.

Understanding Why Your Child Can’t Calm Down

Emilie explains that most of us were raised to suppress our feelings — “stop crying,” “you’re fine,” “just get over it.” That messaging taught us to disconnect from our bodies, and many of us are now parenting from that same disconnected place without realizing it. The result? When our children fall apart, we fall apart right along with them.

She also reframes what it means to raise a sensitive child. If your child feels things deeply and struggles to pull themselves back together, that is not a problem to fix. “To be sensitive means they’re more able to really read what’s going on for them,” Emilie says. A child who learns to process feelings — rather than suppress them — becomes more resilient, not less.

What Your Child Actually Needs

Emilie recommends these strategies:

* Stay regulated yourself. Your calm nervous system is contagious. You don’t have to be perfect — just present. “As long as you, the parent, are staying regulated, your child’s nervous system is going to mirror that.”

* Hold space without fixing. Sitting nearby, rocking them, keeping them safe — this is co-regulation, and it’s more powerful than it looks.

* Practice the tools daily. Body-based techniques like rubbing hands together for heat, gentle vagus nerve massage under the ear, and slow tongue circles shift the nervous system out of fight-or-flight. Two to five minutes a day builds the habit before you need it in a hard moment.

* Model it out loud. Try saying, “I’m frustrated too — I’m going to take some slow breaths. Want to join me?” Let them come to you.

* Let the feeling move through. Emotions are meant to come in and flow out. Rushing to stop the crying short-circuits the process. Feel it, receive it, release it.

Emilie reassures parents: “You’re kissing your kids’ boo-boos, rocking them when they’re upset, holding space when they’re sad — all of those things are really, really powerful.”

Your child doesn’t need you to fix the meltdown. They need you to stay with them through it — and you’re already more capable of that than you know.

Want to hear more from Emilie, including every practical tool and how to use them with even your most resistant child? Listen to the full podcast episode.

To learn more about Emilie Berkman:

https://www.thepeacefulmother.com

Connect with Dajana Yoakley Delight in Parenting

Step #1: Get the 3 Steps to Reset Your Nervous System FREE Guide.

Step #2: Book a FREE 20 minute parent coaching consult with Dajana.Step #3: Connect With The FREE Facebook Community.Step #4: Follow me on Social Media:https://www.instagram.com/delightinparenting/https://www.facebook.com/delightinparentingcoaching/www.youtube.com/@DelightinParentinghttps://www.linkedin.com/in/delightinparenting/

Sibling fights can feel endless.

One minute your kids are laughing together. The next minute someone is screaming, someone is crying, and you’re being pulled in as the referee—again.

Most parents assume sibling conflict is just something they have to survive until their kids grow up.

But what if those daily sibling disagreements are actually one of the most powerful training grounds for your child’s social and emotional development?

In this episode, I sat down with Dr. Laurie Kramer, a clinical psychologist, professor of Applied Psychology at Northeastern University, and one of the leading researchers studying sibling relationships.

Dr. Kramer has spent decades studying what actually helps siblings get along—and more importantly, what helps them learn the skills to resolve conflict on their own.

Her research shows that sibling fights aren’t the real problem.

The real question is whether children are learning the skills underneath the conflict—things like emotional regulation, perspective-taking, and collaborative problem solving.

In our conversation, Laurie shares the core competencies children can learn early in life that dramatically improve sibling relationships and reduce the need for constant parental intervention.

Why Sibling Conflict Isn’t the Enemy

• Siblings as a Social Training GroundWhy sibling relationships give children a safe place to practice the skills they’ll need for friendships, school, and adult relationships.

• The Missing Skill Behind Most Sibling FightsWhy many conflicts start with something simple—like two kids having different ideas about how to play—and how learning to negotiate that moment can prevent escalation.

• The Power of “Stop”One of the first skills Laurie teaches children: learning to pause before reacting so they can think through what’s happening instead of immediately fighting back.

• Perspective-Taking and Emotional VocabularyHow expanding a child’s understanding of emotions—beyond just “mad” or “sad”—can transform the way they approach disagreements.

• Helping Kids Solve Problems TogetherWhy teaching collaborative problem solving allows siblings to walk away from conflict feeling that their needs were heard instead of feeling like someone “won.”

The Goal Isn’t to Eliminate Conflict

Dr. Kramer reminds us that siblings will always have disagreements.

But when children learn emotional regulation, empathy, and problem-solving skills, those conflicts become opportunities for growth rather than daily battles parents have to manage.

And the more children develop these competencies, the less parents have to step in.

Instead of constantly refereeing fights, parents can begin to step back and watch their children handle disagreements with more maturity and confidence.

If sibling conflict is a daily challenge in your home—and you want your children to learn how to work through those moments in healthier ways—this conversation will give you a whole new way to think about what’s happening between them.

Listen to the full episode to learn how sibling conflict can become one of the most powerful ways children develop emotional intelligence and lifelong relationship skills.

And if you're listening to this thinking, yes… this is exactly what happens in my house, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Inside the Delight in Parenting Membership, we talk through real parenting situations like this every week and work through what to do differently next time. The doors are open right now, but they close Friday at midnight. If you'd like to learn more, you can visit delightinparenting.com/membership.

To Learn More About Laurie Kramer’s Work:

* Read Sibling Resources here.

* The More Fun with Sisters and Brothers Program

Connect with Dajana Yoakley Delight in Parenting

Step #1: Get the 3 Steps to Reset Your Nervous System FREE Guide.

Step #2: Book a FREE 20 minute parent coaching consult with Dajana.Step #3: Connect With The FREE Facebook Community.Step #4: Follow me on Social Media:https://www.instagram.com/delightinparenting/https://www.facebook.com/delightinparentingcoaching/www.youtube.com/@DelightinParentinghttps://www.linkedin.com/in/delightinparenting/

Ever feel like you’re walking on eggshells with your teenager? You see them struggling, so you offer a perfectly reasonable solution—maybe a walk or some deep breathing—only to have them roll their eyes, snap at you, or retreat further into their room.

I recently sat down with Sophia Vale Galano, a licensed clinical social worker and author of Calming Teenage Anxiety: A Parent’s Guide to Helping Your Teenager Cope with Worry. Sophia has spent over a decade working with adolescents and noticed a recurring theme: parents are deeply concerned about the rising tide of teen anxiety, but they are often stuck at the “what now?” phase.

Sophia’s inspiration for her work came from a standing-room-only talk she gave at a local high school, where she realized that while the dialogue around mental health is growing, parents are still searching for a practical “blueprint” to navigate these difficult years. In our conversation, she reveals why our most “helpful” instincts as parents are often the very things that cause our teens to shut down.

Why Your “Help” Might Be Making Things Worse

* The Mask of Hostility: Understand why your teen isn’t going to tell you they feel “anxious” and why their worry often manifests as moodiness, angsty behavior, or even hostility.

* The “Fixer’s” Trap: Discover how jumping straight into solutions can accidentally confirm your teen’s deepest fear—that they aren’t competent enough to handle their own life.

* Normal Worry vs. Concerning Anxiety: Sophia shares the specific “how often and to what extent” framework that helps you decide when to give them space and when it’s time to take a much closer look.

* The Power of the 2-Minute Window: Learn why a five-minute conversation that feels “too short” to you is actually a massive victory in the eyes of a teenager.

Stop Guessing and Start Connecting

The shift from being a “fixer” to a “collaborator” doesn’t happen overnight, and your teen likely won’t thank you for it right away. However, Sophia explains how this subtle change in your approach builds a critical foundation of trust that will eventually allow them to come to you with the “big” stuff—like relationships, sex, and substance use.

Ready to stop the power struggles and start building resilience in your teen?

Listen to the full conversation to hear Sophia’s specific “blueprint” for opening the door to communication when your teen wants to slam it shut.

To Connect with Sophia:

* Visit Sophia’s Website:

http://www.sophiagalano.com/

* Get the Resource: Sophia’s book is available on Amazon and major bookstores.

Connect with Dajana Yoakley Delight in Parenting

Step #1: Get the 3 Steps to Reset Your Nervous System FREE Guide.

Step #2: Book a FREE 20 minute parent coaching consult with Dajana.Step #3: Connect With The FREE Facebook Community.Step #4: Follow me on Social Media:https://www.instagram.com/delightinparenting/https://www.facebook.com/delightinparentingcoaching/www.youtube.com/@DelightinParentinghttps://www.linkedin.com/in/delightinparenting/

Ever notice how you can be reading all the parenting books, practicing mindfulness, doing everything “right”—and still find yourself yelling at your child over something that doesn’t even matter?

I recently sat down with Clara Roulev, a certified peaceful parenting and mind-body coach, registered yoga teacher, and founder of Share Peace Parenting. Clara specializes in helping parents understand their reactivity at the nervous system level—not just managing symptoms, but addressing the root causes of why we lose it with our kids.

Clara’s own story will probably sound familiar. She set out to be a conscious parent, armed with books and determination. But when her toddler started pushing her buttons, she was stunned by her own reactions. Her jaw would get tight, her voice would get loud, her arms would tense up—and she felt completely ashamed afterward, like she was a terrible mother.

The turning point came when she stopped fighting her anger and started listening to it. What she discovered changed everything: underneath that rage was fear, loneliness, and a part of her that desperately needed compassion. And here’s the powerful part—the moment she could hold herself with compassion, she could suddenly hold her child with compassion too.

The next time her child did the same triggering behavior, something different happened. Clara could feel her feet on the ground. She could place a hand on her heart and say to herself, “You’re having such a hard time right now. This is hard.” She could feel her prefrontal cortex starting to shut down, notice the anger rising like a wave through her body—and she had a choice.

In this eye-opening conversation, Clara shares three powerful insights that can change how you experience your own anger:

Your Anger Isn’t a Character Flaw—It’s Your Nervous System Trying to Protect You

When you “flip your lid” and lose it with your child, your prefrontal cortex literally goes offline and your survival brain takes over. This isn’t a personal failing. It’s your nervous system doing exactly what it’s designed to do when it perceives a threat. Understanding this removes the shame and opens the door to actually working with your anger instead of against it.

Movement Before Meaning—Your Body Needs to Regulate Before Your Brain Can Think

You can’t think your way out of an angry moment because your rational brain isn’t online yet. Your nervous system needs physical regulation first. This is why pressing your feet into the floor, placing a hand on your heart, or even shaking out the energy works when “just calm down” doesn’t. Clara walks you through specific body-based practices that help you find your way back to regulation.

Clara also introduces her “Anger Map” framework—a practical guide through four phases: noticing the trigger, moving through the activation in your body, returning to regulation, and repairing connection. The key is practicing these steps when you’re calm, not waiting until you’re in the middle of a meltdown. Your nervous system needs practice runs, like fire drills, so it knows what to do when the real moment comes.

Ready to stop feeling ashamed of your anger and start understanding what it’s trying to tell you?

Listen to the full conversation to discover how to work with your nervous system instead of fighting against it—and download Clara’s free Anger Map to start practicing today.

Download the Free Anger Map: https://www.sharepeaceparenting.com/a-n-g-e-r-map

To learn more about Clara Roulev & Share Peace Parenting:

https://www.sharepeaceparenting.com

Book A Call with Clara:

https://www.sharepeaceparenting.com/free-20-minute-clarity-call

Connect with Dajana Yoakley Delight in Parenting

Step #1: Get the 3 Steps to Reset Your Nervous System FREE Guide.

Step #2: Book a FREE 20 minute parent coaching consult with Dajana.Step #3: Connect With The FREE Facebook Community.Step #4: Follow me on Social Media:https://www.instagram.com/delightinparenting/https://www.facebook.com/delightinparentingcoaching/www.youtube.com/@DelightinParentinghttps://www.linkedin.com/in/delightinparenting/

Ever found yourself standing in the kitchen, spatula in hand, feeling like you’re about to lose it because your child just pushed away the dinner you spent an hour making... again?

What if I told you that the stress you’re feeling at mealtimes isn’t really about the rejected broccoli—and there’s a way to transform your dinner table from a battlefield into a place of connection without giving up on nutrition?

I recently spoke with Katie Kimball, a former teacher, two-time TEDx speaker, and mom of four who’s helped thousands of families through her Kids Cook Real Food program (recommended by the Wall Street Journal as the best online cooking class for kids). Katie specializes in helping parents navigate the exhausting world of picky eating while keeping their sanity—and their relationship with their kids—intact.

If you’ve ever felt your blood pressure rise when your child declares they “hate” everything on their plate, or wondered why mealtimes feel more like hostage negotiations than family bonding, this conversation offers a completely different approach that’s grounded in research and real family experience.

Katie’s approach centers on understanding three fundamental truths about family meals: we eat for nourishment, yes, but also for pleasure and community—and no one aspect is more important than the others. When you understand this, everything about how you approach picky eating changes.

In this eye-opening conversation, Katie shares specific strategies you can implement starting tonight.

You’ll discover:

* Why forcing the issue at dinner actually sabotages your child’s ability to develop a healthy relationship with food—and how research shows that kids who eat family dinners more than twice a week do better academically than those who spend more time on homework (yes, really)

* The “Lead with Your Ace” strategy that uses your child’s natural hunger to your advantage—putting vegetables out first with zero competition and zero pressure while maintaining what Katie calls your “poker face” (no excited cheerleading, just casual placement)

* How getting your kids in the kitchen transforms their relationship with food completely, because when they chop those carrots themselves, suddenly they’re invested—plus why teaching them to use sharp knives now prepares them for the bigger risks they’ll face as teens

* The critical difference between praising the food (”This is so good!”) and praising the effort (”You worked so hard on this recipe—I can smell the cinnamon you added”), and why one builds confidence while the other creates performance anxiety

* Why your stress at the dinner table literally affects your child’s digestion, making it harder for them to absorb nutrients even when they do eat—and how lowering the pressure paradoxically leads to better nutrition

Katie vulnerably shares how she discovered that family dinners protect kids from risky behaviors more effectively than almost any other family practice. Strong bonds with adults—the kind built over shared meals without pressure—are what keep kids safe as they navigate adolescence.

She also reveals a powerful reframe: you can’t actually force a child to eat respectfully (unlike putting their shoes on for them). Once you accept this limitation, you stop trying to control what you can’t control and start focusing on what you can—the atmosphere, the offerings, and your own emotional state.

Most importantly, she reminds us that we’re not just feeding our kids today. We’re teaching them how to have a relationship with food for their entire lives. And that relationship is built not through force or pressure, but through modeling, patience, and removing the friction that makes everyone dread coming to the table.

Ready to stop the mealtime battles and start using food as a bridge to connection rather than a source of conflict?

This conversation will show you exactly how to lower the temperature at your dinner table while still nurturing your child’s body and spirit—because it turns out, the two aren’t separate at all.

To learn more about Katie Kimball & Kitchen Stewardship:

https://www.kitchenstewardship.com/

Connect with Dajana Yoakley

Delight in Parenting

Step #1 — Get the 3 Steps to Reset Your Nervous System FREE Guide or book a FREE 20 minute consult.

https://www.delightinparenting.com

https://www.delightinparenting.com/book-online

Step #2 — Learn More about my signature online course: “Raising a Resilient Child”. https://www.delightinparenting.com/course

Step #3 — Connect With The Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/delightinparentingfree

Step #4- Follow me on Social Media:

https://www.instagram.com/delightinparenting/

https://www.facebook.com/delightinparentingcoaching/

https://www.youtube.com/@DelightinParenting

https://www.linkedin.com/in/delightinparenting/

Ever wondered why your teenager meticulously plans their gaming strategy for hours but melts down when asked to pack their backpack the night before school?

What if I told you the disconnect isn’t about defiance or laziness—but about a fundamental mismatch between your expectations and their actual neurological wiring, and there’s a powerful framework for bridging this gap without sacrificing your values?

I recently spoke with Abigail Wald, a parenting mentor to thousands of families including therapists, pediatricians, and celebrities. With two teenage boys of her own and over 1.5 million podcast downloads, Abigail specializes in helping parents navigate what she calls “the schism”—that painful space between what we think parenting should look like and what it actually is.

If you’ve ever found yourself raging at the gap between your Pinterest-worthy parenting aspirations and your actual Tuesday morning chaos, or wondered why one child feels like ease while another feels like sandpaper against your soul, this conversation offers a radical reframe grounded in acceptance without giving up on growth.

Abigail’s approach centers on three interconnected principles: recognizing where your expectations actually come from (your past, your in-laws, or Instagram?), determining which expectations align with your genuine family values versus imposed “shoulds,” and understanding that children don’t act their age—they act their abilities.

In this transformative conversation, Abigail shares specific strategies you can implement starting today.

You’ll discover:

* How to distinguish between consequences that teach and punishments that simply discharge your frustration, including why your ADHD child might need to metaphorically (or literally) skin their knee to understand why you’ve been warning them about going too fast around corners

* The “magazine versus your people” principle and why choosing the magazine over your actual family creates a schism that moves you further from happiness—plus how loving your people accurately for who they are paradoxically brings you closer to the life you actually want

* Why some parent-child combinations feel like fire meeting gasoline while others flow like water, and how the child who challenges you most might be your greatest teacher in expanding your capacity for genuine love (hint: pearls form from irritating grains of sand)

* The critical difference between helicopter-enabling and supportive scaffolding, including when to let your child forget their lunch and experience hunger as their teacher rather than you constantly being their reminder system

* How strong-willed, gifted, and highly sensitive children especially need experiential learning to develop internal boundaries—and why controlling them too tightly produces teenagers who’ve mastered flouting external rules but have zero internal compass

Abigail vulnerably shares her own moments of “this isn’t what I signed up for” rage, comparing parenting to an arranged marriage where you pledge your life to someone you’ve never met, with no idea of their temperament, needs, or challenges.

She reveals how grief and feelings of betrayal are normal responses to this vulnerability, but shows how to transform that grief into what she calls “capital L Love”—choosing leadership over behavior-chasing.

Most importantly, she challenges us to examine whether we’re approaching self-improvement (and child-improvement) from a place of “I’m broken and need fixing” versus “I’m whole and excited to grow.” The distinction changes everything about how we approach those morning battles and evening meltdowns.

Ready to stop fighting upstream against your family’s actual temperament and start leading from a place of genuine acceptance and strategic growth?

This conversation will give you permission to love the people in your house instead of the ones in the magazine—and show you why that’s where the real magic happens.

To learn more about Abigail Wald:

https://abigailwald.com/

Connect with Dajana Yoakley

Delight in Parenting

Step #1 — Get the 3 Steps to Reset Your Nervous System FREE Guide or book a FREE 20 minute consult.

https://www.delightinparenting.com

https://www.delightinparenting.com/book-online

Step #2 — Learn More about my signature online course: “Raising a Resilient Child”. https://www.delightinparenting.com/course

Step #3 — Connect With The Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/delightinparentingfree

Step #4- Follow me on Social Media:

https://www.instagram.com/delightinparenting/

https://www.facebook.com/delightinparentingcoaching/

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Ever wondered why your teenager seems completely capable of planning an elaborate gaming strategy but can’t seem to organize their homework for the week?

What if I told you that the disconnect isn’t about laziness or defiance—but about how their developing brain handles different types of motivation and executive function, and there are specific ways you can support them without taking over?

I recently spoke with Will Kirsop, an education leader and founder of Many Roads, where he coaches teenagers and young adults to discover their purpose and thrive. With degrees in both commerce and psychology from top Australian universities, Will works day-in and day-out with teens navigating the complex terrain of academics, identity, and the transition to adulthood.

If you’ve ever felt that time-crunch anxiety as your teen gets closer to graduation, or wondered how to help them develop the skills they’ll need to succeed independently, this conversation will give you practical tools grounded in what actually works with teenagers.

Will’s approach focuses on three interconnected areas: helping teens identify what genuinely engages them (flow states), building both metacognitive awareness (thinking about thinking) and executive function skills (the actual capacity to plan and execute), and cultivating self-compassion as the foundation that allows teens to take risks and learn from mistakes.

In this practical conversation, Will shares specific strategies you can implement starting this week. You’ll discover:

* How to help your teen identify flow states—those moments when they lose track of time in deep engagement—and why recognizing these patterns matters for both academic success and future direction, whether it’s surfing with friends, writing essays, or building Minecraft worlds

* The weekly planning system using Google Calendar or physical planners that gives teens ownership while providing structure, including how to negotiate realistic schedules when they suggest two hours of gaming before homework and why educating them about dopamine spikes works better than controlling

* The Pomodoro Method adapted for teens (25-minute focused study sessions with 5-minute breaks) and Professor Marty Lobdell’s “Study Less, Study Smart” technique—a five-phase approach to reading textbooks that primes the brain before diving into detailed content

* The three components of self-compassion and why research shows teens with higher self-compassion set mastery learning goals, demonstrate greater resilience, and maintain curiosity—plus why modeling your own executive function struggles teaches more effectively than appearing perfect

* What the World Economic Forum’s 2025 survey reveals about critical future skills, with motivation, self-awareness, and critical thinking ranking above technical knowledge—and why the biggest currency for the future is the ability to learn itself, especially as AI changes what skills we’ll need

Will vulnerably shares examples from his coaching practice, including the student who discovered that “the hard part isn’t studying—it’s figuring out what to study,” and how having a clear plan created profound relief during a stressful exam period. He demonstrates how to have conversations about screen time and homework that empower teens to make informed decisions rather than simply complying with rules.

Most importantly, he challenges us to move beyond the countdown mentality of “only X years left before they’re on their own” to recognizing that each teen’s journey is unique. The skills that matter most aren’t about memorizing content—they’re about learning how to learn, thinking critically about information, and developing the self-compassion that allows for risk-taking and growth.

Ready to help your teen build genuine executive function skills while honoring their developing autonomy? This conversation will give you specific starting points for supporting them right where they are, not where you wish they were.

To learn more about Will Kirsop:

https://www.manyroads.co/

Connect with Dajana Yoakley

Delight in Parenting

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