All My Streaming & Social Links: push.fm/fl/denisashton

Lyrics:

A funeral for broken hearts

Let's shape these graves like fine art

Here we swim among the catfish and the bots

All while the scammers plan and plot

My ego's crushed, my luck ran out

And I'm starting to have my doubts

If I'll ever find what I'm looking for

And looking's starting to feel like a chore

They're selling hope and I'm so hooked

I guess that's why I'm fucking cooked

Just want things to go my way

'Cuz in this bed alone I lay

I swipe and swipe the night away

Guess I'm all out of likes for today

I watch as all my hopes get dashed

Yet I'm still here playing this swipe game

I'm a slave to the algorithm

This place feels like it's a prison

Oh shit, I'm all out of likes again

She says she's only looking for a friend

No, I don't want to buy an upgrade

Already seen my past investments fade

And to think I'd be popular on here

Now I'm left drowning in my own drear

They're selling hope and I'm so hooked

I guess that's why I'm fucking cooked

Just want things to go my way

'Cuz in this bed alone I lay

I swipe and swipe the night away

Guess I'm all out of likes for today

I watch as all my hopes get dashed

Yet I'm still here playing this swipe game

I just wanted to be cherished

Now I'm alone feeling embarrassed

All this time I waste

I rise and repeat just in case

They're selling hope and I'm so hooked

I guess that's why I'm fucking cooked

Just want things to go my way

'Cuz in this bed alone I lay

I swipe and swipe the night away

Guess I'm all out of likes for today

I watch as all my hopes get dashed

Yet I'm still here playing this swipe game

All My Streaming & Social Links: push.fm/fl/denisashton

Lyrics:

As blood drips down my wrist

I guess things took a darker twist

I look at myself

I've invited demons off the shelf

I know that you want me dead

One day you'll take my breath

Until there's nothing left

No heartbeat in my chest

If I keep going on like this

Sinking my life into the abyss

I've lied to the ones I love

I'm reaching out to God above

Living through this disease

Has brought me down to my knees

I can finally see

You have ensnared me

I feel like you've possessed me

Every drinking spree ends in misery

It was all so fun at first

Now I'm headed into a hearse

You want to push me off the ledge

I know you want me dead

Yet I drink, and drink, and drink

Vomit, and bleed, and cry, and writhe

This has become my life

So many times I've given up

When will this ever fucking stop?

Pouring this poison in my cup

Drinking like it's never enough

I know that you want me dead

One day you'll take my breath

Until there's nothing left

No heartbeat in my chest

If I keep going on like this

Sinking my life into the abyss

I've lied to the ones I love

I'm reaching out to God above

Living through this disease

Has brought me down to my knees

I can finally see

You have ensnared me

I'm gonna get some help

Before my future melts

When will I learn from the past?

Every relapse hurts more than the last

I don't want to die like this

I don't even want to live like this

There is no more bliss

This time I really gotta quit

I know that you want me dead

One day you'll take my breath

Until there's nothing left

No heartbeat in my chest

If I keep going on like this

Sinking my life into the abyss

I've lied to the ones I love

I'm reaching out to God above

Living through this disease

Has brought me down to my knees

I can finally see

You have ensnared me

As of now, I haven't drank in years

But this is how shitty it can be

I got outside help, and through that, even divine intervention

If you were looking for a sign to get some help, this might be it

I wrote most of "The Sick EP" during my drinking days

Admittedly, I recorded the vocals and released it when I was already sober

I felt weird about it, but the songs were stories of how I lived and experiences I had while mostly living in denial

This song is the darker side of that lifestyle

After I wrote about those fun times, came the bleeding and the dark thoughts

I think I wrote the intro of "Sick" way later, once I was sober and saw my past denial

All My Streaming & Social Links: push.fm/fl/denisashton

Lyrics:

Call me late at night

I'll be up late in the moonlight

Waiting for your call

Waiting for the moonlit air to fall down on both of us

On this starry night

Suspense shows up like a thousand heartbeats

Stopping in time

When I hear that chime

Dreaming of the day you're all mine

I live for this thrill

I can feel the chills

Running down my back

As the night goes black

I still feel the fear

Piercing like a spear

That they'll take you away from me

Split up like the sky and sea

When the day breaks

You're all that I think of, oh yeah

Hope I get to see you soon

I'll wait from the morn to noon

I take it day by day

Living in the gray

I can't wait 'til the night breaks

So that I can find some grace

Want to feel alive again

Counting down the time 'til then

Suspense shows up like a thousand heartbeats

Stopping in time

When I hear that chime

Dreaming of the day you're all mine

I live for this thrill

I can feel the chills

Running down my back

As the night goes black

I still feel the fear

Piercing like a spear

That they'll take you away from me

Split up like the sky and sea

Grab my phone and dial your number

Wait for the signal

Heartbeat pounding like it's thunder

It's my nightly vigil

I live for this thrill

I can feel the chills

Running down my back

As the night goes black

I still feel the fear

Piercing like a spear

That they'll take you away from me

Split up like the sky and sea

(TRIGGER WARNING FOR SUICIDAL THEMES)

Suicide and Crisis Lifeline in the USA: 988

Right now, I am okay, but this song was written during a dark time!

I won’t be mad if you don’t listen!

This goes to show how real and destructive OCD can be.

It's about what I go through sometimes with this mental disorder in general. It's more than just a stereotype. The mental obsessions are something you don't always see on TV.

The message is to rely on Art & Music to let the pain out through coping and relating instead of acting on those thoughts!

All My Streaming & Social Links: push.fm/fl/denisashton

Lyrics:

Save me, Jesus Christ, please

From this Hell I'm in

A place where I burn alone

How can I express the pain I'm in

If I can barely function?

Sometimes I almost wish you'd fucking shoot me dead

Take a gun and pierce a bullet right through my fucking head

So I don't have to think

I'm on the fucking brink

Of losing my mind

But I can't give in to suicide, I won't

Ruminating, ruminating

I can feel my mind breaking

Fuck this act

I want to rip off the mask

I'm scared to live

I'm scared to die

I'm already a corpse inside

Now hours and weeks pass

I've become fragile glass

Who can save me?

Will you save me?

Craving reassurance

But the words just aren't coming out

I want to ask you so bad

It's all so fucking sad

But don’t you feed me that bullshit

That you've found my solution

'Cuz it doesn't work

You wouldn't understand at all

Yelling, screaming, breaking down alone

The frustration has its hold

Why don't they understand?

My heart has turned to sand

Ruminating, ruminating

I can feel my mind breaking

Fuck this act

I want to rip off the mask

I'm scared to live

I'm scared to die

I'm already a corpse inside

Now hours and weeks pass

I've become fragile glass

Who can save me?

Will you save me?

I've sweat my bullets, I've shed my tears

I've smelled my rotting dreams

Overtaken by my fears

Suffering for all these years

I've questioned everything

What did it fucking bring?

I've grown to hate living

Feels like I'm always running

Ruminating, ruminating

I can feel my mind breaking

Fuck this act

I want to rip off the mask

I'm scared to live

I'm scared to die

I'm already a corpse inside

Now hours and weeks pass

I've become fragile glass

Who can save me?

Will you save me?

All My Streaming & Social Links: push.fm/fl/denisashton

Lyrics:

They worship these deadbeat rock stars

Their lies as empty as their hearts are

This is the end

This is the end of your career, bitch

I know I'm on your blacklist

You can put me in your boldest font

Labyrinths of pleasure

You've lost all your treasure

Cracking under pressure

Oh, you were so high and mighty

Now you're like the rest of us

I used to defend you

Let's not pretend you don't know

Who you are or what you've done

You fucking had all your fun

Here's some accountability for you

For all the bullshit that you do

Just give it up and confess

Save yourself the stress

You were soulless from the start

Your mug shot should be cover art

Just how many victims do you have now?

You fucking sold your own fans out

I know I'm on your blacklist

You can put me in your boldest font

Labyrinths of pleasure

You've lost all your treasure

Cracking under pressure

Obsessed with your innocence

Drowned in cognitive dissonance

So ashamed of brainwashed me

*This is my apology to the victims and survivors

I'm so sorry I called you liars*

Now as far as you're concerned

I don't think you'll ever fucking learn

I defended

I respected

I contended all for you

Life in prison, they shouldn't even bury you

Motherfucker, you are fucking through

You don't even deserve a grave

I heard you're what the vultures crave

I know I'm on your blacklist

You can put me in your boldest font

Labyrinths of pleasure

You've lost all your treasure

Cracking under pressure

*In this part of the song, I take accountability for my words and give an apology. This is not an excuse to justify myself, but I want to make clear that as far as I can recall, I never called anyone making assault allegations a liar directly to their face or even in a message. But I did say that the accusers (some I mentioned by name, some not) were liars. Just not directly to them. I was a brainwashed teen under the delusion that my musical hero at the time was an innocent man. I was still wrong, and I apologize to them all again incase I haven't already done so.*

All My Streaming & Social Links: push.fm/fl/denisashton

All My Streaming & Social Links: push.fm/fl/denisashton

Lyrics:

Wish I had...

Wish I had a...

Yeah, yeah...

Wish I had...

Yeah, yeah...

Wish I...

Wish I had a hundred bad chicks

And a fucking bachelor pad

Got some girlies in my phone

And all of them are bad

And I don't usually brag

'Cuz I remember plans I had

With my timing not so ironclad

But I still chase them like I'm mad

Yeah, uh

I remember having two dollars in the bank

Had no fucking job

But still needed the drink

Had to put that shit down

No more stumbling around town

'Cuz I want the crown

Not end up in a burial gown, yeah (uh, yeah)

Oh, I want to taste her like a motherfucking raspberry

But I won't be chasing, I ain't on that fucking "Tom & Jerry"

Strawberries, blueberries, want to eat them off you, baby

I hope I'm not too wild for you to come and be my lady

Seafoam green short shorts, tube top

Navel pierced, let's go and turn it up a notch

Used to pop Xans, but now I'm popping bands

When I used to drink I almost got blackmailed and scammed

I put gold plates on my wrist

Where I used to have two slits (two slits)

Uh, we can roll up to the club

But I won't be dancing

You can hop inside the whip

Have a seat like I'm Chris Hansen

Shorts so short that you can see the pockets

Yeah, you make me want to plug the socket

We can go and make it happen

We can touch it down like Madden

Say she want to throw it back

Now I need a vasectomy

But I might not be your cup of tea

'Cuz I won't get down on one knee

But my flow go colder than a morphine drip

Even colder than my new fucking whip

She say she getting wet, need a caution sign

Wouldn't want to break a hip or spine, yeah

Oh, I want to taste her like a motherfucking raspberry

But I won't be chasing, I ain't on that fucking "Tom & Jerry"

Strawberries, blueberries, want to eat them off you, baby

I hope I'm not too wild for you to come and be my lady

Seafoam green short shorts, tube top

Navel pierced, let's go and turn it up a notch

Used to pop Xans, but now I'm popping bands

When I used to drink I almost got blackmailed and scammed

I put gold plates on my wrist

Where I used to have two slits (two slits)

I put gold plates on my wrist

Where I used to have two slits

Oh, I want to taste her like a motherfucking raspberry

But I won't be chasing, I ain't on that fucking "Tom & Jerry"

Strawberries, blueberries, want to eat them off you, baby

I hope I'm not too wild for you to come and be my lady

Seafoam green short shorts, tube top

Navel pierced, let's go and turn it up a notch

Used to pop Xans, but now I'm popping bands

When I used to drink I almost got blackmailed and scammed

I put gold plates on my wrist

Where I used to have two slits (two slits)

Used to pop Xans, but now I'm popping bands

When I used to drink I almost got blackmailed and scammed

All My Streaming & Social Links: push.fm/fl/denisashton

Lyrics:

Goodbye my love

Goodbye because

I (I) can't (can't) love (love)

You anymore

Anymore

Anymore

Anymore

Anymore

I've been losing my health and my sleep

Oh, this is fucking draining

All of your lies

Your disguise

Those pretty eyes

Waiting for the sunrise

I've lost track of how long I've waited

There's glaciers in your eyes

And pollution in mine

You bring nothing but pain and grief and heartache

No, I can't save you from your Hell

I've been lying to myself

Flipping through the pages of a chapter

I just don't want to read anymore

Anymore

Anymore

Anymore

Anymore

I've been losing my health and my sleep

Oh, this is fucking draining

All of your lies

Your disguise

Those pretty eyes

Waiting for the sunrise

I've lost track of how long I've waited

There's glaciers in your eyes

And pollution in mine

Our communication is dead like our affection

All the love and all the joy

Came from this sick brain

Same thing with the pain

I'm done burning here alone

I don't need you anymore

But you're so hard not to adore

I wanted to love you

To love you for all time

Time

Time that I've lost

That was the cost

Shallow and infatuated

Brought this all upon myself

Expectations I've created

Have become my prison cell

It turns out that the only lies

Are the ones I've told to myself

The dark seeds of attachment sprout

As our trees begin to bloom

Bearing more fruit than we can carry

We've got to cut them down

Like a phone call that never came

This just turned out all the same

You filled up the hole inside my chest

But now you drain me just like all the rest

Goodbye

All My Streaming & Social Links: push.fm/fl/denisashton

Lyrics:

Roman/Logan:

Hey!

Aren't you supposed to be working on that EP?

Denis:

What, mixing it?

Roman/Logan:

Yeah!

All My Streaming & Social Links: push.fm/fl/denisashton

Lyrics:

Leagues below the sea

Nothing under me

Leagues below the sea

There’s nothing down beneath

I’ve dived in so deep

That I can't see the surface

Don't wanna be caught dead

Floating in the water

Lost all sight of land

Will the seabed become my deathbed?

As I watch my

Watch myself drown

Drowning in the sea

It’s dark as could be

Nothing down beneath

There’s nothing left to plea

There’s no Leviathan swimming down here

And no Jonah to be found

The only belly of the beast

Is the belly of the sea

No pearls, no treasure

Can withstand the pressure

I get crushed by the forces of the depths‍

As I descend down this wretched trench, whoa oh oh

Bloodshot eyes feel the sting of the brine

And I'm running out of fucking time, yeah

Sinking deeper now

Descending further down

This wretched pit will be the death of me

Pull me further down

I know you want to hear me squirm

Want to watch me burn

But both my lungs collapsed

As the water filled the gaps

So I can’t make a sound

As I watch my

Watch myself drown

Drowning in the sea

It’s dark as could be

Nothing down beneath

There’s nothing left to plea

There’s no Leviathan swimming down here

And no Jonah to be found

The only belly of the beast

Is the belly of the sea

No pearls, no treasure

Can withstand the pressure

I'm not sending out this signal just in vain

I want to express my pain

I know my lungs know

Nobody can hear them scream

As they try to claw their way out of my chest

This is drowning

This is panic

Watch myself seep into the Challenger Deep

How can I breathe?

How can I withstand this pressure?

Crushed into smithereens

So many leagues below the sea

Nothing here to see

I'm deep as could be

There's nothing down beneath

These chains, they bind bricks to both my feet

These ears go deaf from the pressure of the depths

My body’s getting crushed by the pressures of the trench

This is the pressure of the Mariana