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Lessons From a Father That Was Always There (Part 1) - Crawford Loritts
Lessons From a Father That Was Always There (Part 2) - Crawford Loritts

FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript  

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The Most Important Things

Guest:                         Crawford Loritts                    

From the series:       Lessons from a Father Who Was Always There (Day 2 of 2)

Bob: What’s the right balance, as a parent, between protecting your children and letting them experience enough of life that they wind up with a few scars? Here’s 

Dr. Crawford Loritts.

Crawford: I understand the need to protect them from the evils, and the sin, and the hellishness that’s in our culture; but I have to tell you—protection is not development. I’m terribly concerned about this movement among some of us that wants to hover over our kids—and pull them back and sanitize and sterilize their environments—in such a way that they don’t interact with the evil world/a dark world, in which they were born to redeem, and impact, and be salt and light in!

Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Tuesday, March 13th. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Where does protection fit into our priorities, as parents; and how much freedom should we give our children? We’ll hear from Crawford Loritts on that today. Stay with us.

1:00

And welcome to FamilyLife Today. Thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition. When I was in high school, our choir sang a song that was based on the final instructions that King David gave to his son as David was dying and as Solomon was taking over. I don’t know if choirs are allowed to sing songs that biblical in our day, but our high school choir sang this when I was growing up. It’s stuck with me all these years—David’s counsel to his son—from a father, who’s dying. He had wise words to share with his son. 

In fact, we’re going to hear today from Crawford Loritts about how important and how powerful it is for a father to instruct, and coach, and model for his son what really matters.

Dennis: Crawford is the pastor at Fellowship Bible Church in Roswell, Georgia. 

2:00

He is the father of four children / he’s the husband of Karen, and they have ten grandchildren. As you listen to Crawford share this story from the Scriptures, I want you to think about what you’re charging your kids with today. Are you challenging them with a high enough standard? Are you challenging them with the right goal? Are you challenging them with an eternal goal?

I think, Bob, we need to be putting before our children a biblical standard for how they should live throughout their lives; and I think we ought to allow a story like this, from 

1 Kings, Chapter 2, to be like the song that you said you remembered all the way back to your childhood—just that it might stick in our hearts and we carry the burden of realizing we need to shape and direct the next generation.

Bob: I think we’ll get some good coaching from Crawford, as moms and dads, to know: “What are the important things we should be focusing on as we pass on a legacy to our sons and our daughters?”  

3:00

Here’s Part Two of a message from Dr. Crawford Loritts on “Lessons on Integrity from a Father Who Lived It.”

[Recorded Message]

Crawford: In 1 Kings, Chapter 2, verses 1-4, David is dying / David is leaving—the legendary David. As he’s dying, he calls his son, Solomon, in to make a grand handoff. David was consciously aware of the fact that legacies are not guaranteed—they are not guaranteed. And yet, Solomon was being tapped as next in line. David was about to go be in the very presence of God. It’s almost as if, as you read the text, the emotional context is really compelling. It’s as if David is reaching out and grabbing his son, Solomon, by the lapels and pulling him close. [Emotion in voice] 

4:00

In these four verses, it’s almost as if David is saying: “Son, this is what I’ve lived for. These are the footprints in the sand, and I need you to embrace what you were born for.”

And parenthetically, as we raise our children—from the time they’re little somethings / from the time they’re tiny—we need to be whispering in their ears that they were born for the glory of God and for the plan and the purposes of God: “This is what you were born for, and everything in your life has to be lined up for your moment in history—that you’re just passing through here. You’re going to be very dead one day. One day, God’s going to say, ‘Give Me back My breath.’ 

5:00

“What were you born for? What are you living for? What are you doing?” 

It’s amazing, when people are dying, how essence they are—all the other garbage, and all the other frills, and all the other stuff—it doesn’t make any difference anymore. David is dying. As he dies, he charges Solomon with these three things—he charges Solomon to live courageously; he charges Solomon to live obediently; and he charges Solomon to live faithfully. I’ll say a few words, and then I’ll be done.

First of all, he charges Solomon: “I want you to live, Solomon. I want you to live. I want you to live courageously.” Verse 1 says, “When David’s time to die drew near, he commanded Solomon his son, saying, ‘I am about to go the way of all the earth.’” 

6:00

Now, notice this line: “‘Be strong; show yourself a man,’”—“My time is up; it’s coming to a close. The ball is being placed in your hands. Solomon, I am challenging you to press through the challenges and the opportunities of your responsibilities. I need you, Solomon, to step up.”

In fact, in the Hebrew, the expression, “show yourself a man,” literally is, “become a man.” I think what David was saying to Solomon was: “Solomon, Solomon, Solomon—I need you to rise up to what you were born for.” Solomon was to become what being the king of Israel required—required. 

I could get off into this, but I don’t have time to do this. I actually think we coddle this generation a little bit too much—

7:00 

—I actually think we soften them a little bit too much. We don’t give them what they need. I believe the text doesn’t say that perhaps David sensed some weakness in Solomon. Solomon was not like his dadd...

God is Good (Part 1) - John & Donna Bishop
God is Good (Part 2) - John & Donna Bishop
God is Good (Part 3) - John & Donna Bishop

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Forgetting What Lies Behind 

Guest:                        John and Donna Bishop

From the series:       God is So Good

Bob: There are moments that come along unexpectedly – moments where the foundation of our life or our marriage is rattled.  John and Donna Bishop experienced one of those moments 15 years ago.

Donna: Everything was just great, we were just having a great time serving the Lord.  Our boys and our families and then, all of a sudden, that night he got sick, and the pain in the back of his head just got severe, and he said, "You're going to have to take me to the hospital," and so I took him to the hospital and …

John: When I woke up from meningitis, I did not know her.  I really didn't know anything.  I had a very unusual case of amnesia that I didn't just forget names and people, I forgot everything.

Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Monday, August 4th.  Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.  What happens to a marriage when, all of a sudden, all the memories, all of the past, is gone.  Stay tuned.

And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Monday edition.  This is going to be a powerful week for our listeners.

Dennis: It is.  In fact, Bob, you and I both talked about this interview that our listeners are about to hear.  It's a top five broadcast – you and I have been doing interviews for – well, coming up on 16 years – that's a few people.  I'm kind of looking across at you, and I'm kind of going, "That's a long time."

Bob: You're an old-looking guy.

Dennis: We're kind of getting to be codgers in here.  But, I'm going to tell you, pull up a chair, get you a cup of coffee or a Coke or a glass of water.  This week you are going to hear an incredible compelling story of the goodness of God and the love of God.  This is another one of those love stories, Bob, that Hollywood just knows very little about.  This is a love story right from the pages of Scripture.

Bob: Yes, you're going to meet John and Donna Bishop today.  They were married back in 1974.  John is a pastor and an evangelist.  They live in Rosebud, Arkansas, which is in north central Arkansas.

Dennis: It's just near Hopewell, which is a suburb of Heber Springs.

Bob: Oh, now folks have got it perfectly in mind.  They know exactly where that …

Dennis: They know exactly where that is.

Bob: John and Donna have three sons, and, as you are about to find out, their story is a remarkable one.

John: All I remember is from 1995 to this day.  I remember nothing before that, so everything about my life that happened beforehand is what I've been told.  And my wife, her name, Donna, but I called her "my Donna."  When I woke up from meningitis, I did not know her.  I didn't know me, my name, I didn't know – I really didn't know anything.  I had a very unusual case of amnesia that I didn't just forget names and people, I forgot everything.  I didn't know how to eat, I'd forgotten how to chew food, and I had to eat baby food, and I don't blame babies being grouchy, if you had to eat that long.

Dennis: So, okay, I'm going to stop you right there.

John: Okay.

Dennis: Since Donna does know what was taking place in your life up to 1995, I'm going to turn to her.  Describe your lives in the 1990s, Donna.  What was John doing and what were you up to?

Donna: Okay.  We were pastoring a church there in Heber Springs, and we had a good church.  We enjoyed everything was going great.  We had three sons, and they were growing up. We also worked on our youth camp there, lived on the campgrounds and started the youth camp, and were just – I would say it was a perfect life.  You know, everything was just great, we were just having a great time serving the Lord, our boys, and our families, and then, all of a sudden that night he got sick, and the pain in the back of his head just got severe, and he said, "You're going to have to take me to the hospital."  So I took him to the hospital and …

Bob: So it came on in an instant like that.  One night?

Donna: No, he had been a little sick, just having headaches and so forth, and then it just started getting severe that night, and we just took him to the hospital.

Bob: Were you scared?

Donna: In a way, you know, because the pain just kept getting worse, you know, so – but, you know, you always think, "Oh, we can take him to the hospital and they'll be fine," you know, "be home tomorrow."

Dennis: Right.

Donna: But he was there about five days, six days, and he got to feeling better and, of course, once men start feeling better, they want to get out of that hospital, and so he got out of the hospital and came home, and it was almost one month to the day, he got out of the hospital is really when I believe the damage was done, or that's when something happened that he was sitting in his rocking chair, had his devotions over in a rocking chair, and he just kept sitting there and sitting there, and I thought, "Okay," you know, "let's get on with things," and he just kept sitting there.  And so I went over and shook him, and he couldn't wake up, he couldn't – he was just kind of staring off.

And I said, "John, what's the matter John?"  And I was talking to him, and he just couldn't answer me, and then, of course, we took him back to the doctor, and it was just from there on it's been slow go.

Bob: Now, the diagnosis was aseptic meningitis?

Donna: Yes, sir.

Bob: And this response, a month after the initial diagnosis, this is not what usually happens to people who have meningitis, is it?

Donna:  No, sir.  You know, I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I don't know if we didn't give him the medicine long enough or exactly what it is, but I know the Lord has a reason for it, and so – bec...

God is Good (Part 1) - John & Donna Bishop
God is Good (Part 2) - John & Donna Bishop
God is Good (Part 3) - John & Donna Bishop

Today® Radio Transcript  

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For Better or For Worse

Guest:                        John & Donna Bishop

From the series:       God is So Good

Bob: More than a decade and a half ago, John Bishop was experiencing headaches that took him to the hospital.  He was diagnosed with meningitis, and then a month later, unexpectedly, his memory was gone.  What happens to a person, to a marriage and a family, when everything about the past has been erased?  John Bishop says you have to start back at the beginning, learning to walk, to talk, learning to love.

John: When she began to teach me, she said, "You're John, I Donna, we're married."  I said, "Married?  Married?"  And she said, "Oh, okay, you forgot that.  That means you belong to me, and I belong to you."  I look at her, I say, "You my Donna?"  She said, "Yes."  That what I call her ever since – "My Donna."  It was so easy to love her.  She loved me so good.

Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Tuesday, August 5th.  Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.  What would happen to your marriage if, all of a sudden, you were starting from scratch?

John: I tell people she taught me everything I know.  Every woman dream come true – her husband forget it all, and she get teach him.  

[laughter] 

Bob: And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us.  In our years of interviewing folks, we've met a number of couples and heard some remarkable love stories, but the story our listeners are hearing this week is an all-time classic, isn't it?

Dennis: It may be the best.  I mean, we've heard some great ones here, but we wanted to bring this story to you, as a listener.  John and Donna were married in 1974.  They had three sons.  He was an evangelist for a number of years, pastored a church, had a ranch for young people that he helped staff and give leadership to.

Bob: It was back in 1995, though, that he was diagnosed with aseptic meningitis and had to be hospitalized, and normally you recover from aseptic meningitis and life goes on.

Dennis: But what happened was, it was like someone erased the chalkboard.  All the memory, all of his understanding of all the basics of life were gone because of this disease.

Bob: This is a month after he's had his meningitis that he loses his complete memory.  He doesn't know that he's married, he doesn't know what marriage is, he doesn't know how to talk, he doesn't know how to eat.

Dennis: He doesn't know who God is.

Bob: It's like starting from scratch and, obviously, that leads to an incredible stress on a marriage, on a family.  I mean, what do you do from there, right?

Dennis: It's one thing, Bob, to have a life-threatening illness and live through that valley, but the story you're going to hear is all about how they picked up and began to live life on a daily basis.

Bob: Donna, it's almost like when you brought John home from the hospital, you were bringing home a newborn baby who had some adult-level functionality but some very baby-like qualities.  Was he ever like a bad boy?  When he was home from the hospital, were there ever times when you thought, "I'm going to have to" …

Dennis: Let's put it the way it is, Bob – did he ever pitch a fit?

Bob: Or a tantrum?

John: I can answer that – yes.

Bob: Did he go through the terrible twos with you?

[laughter] 

Donna: Yes, he would – especially when it came to eating.  He wanted to eat his dessert first.  "Why do I have to" – you know, he was always asking questions, why he has to do this and do that, and it was funny, one time I came home, and he was trying to help me, so he was washing the dishes.  When he washed the dishes, he broke a plate or a glass or something, and so he hid it in the trash, buried it in the bottom of the trash so I wouldn't know that he broke a plate.

So, you know, he was hiding things from me and sneaking around behind me when he was doing things he thought I didn't want him to do.

Bob: Now, here's your husband.

John: [laughing] Yes …

Bob: … acting this way, and you feel like you have to paddle him, spank him, for how he's behaving?  How do you handle that, as a wife, when …

Donna: I'd be glad to spank him.

[laughter] 

John: She never spanked me, but she had to get after me but, oh, she has been so patient.

Bob: When did you – when did it dawn on you that you had a sin nature – that deep inside of you is this rebellion that you want to be selfish, and you want things the way you want them.  When did that register for you?

John: Once I began listening to the Bible on tape, I – for instance, Bob, I can remember first lie I told, and at least after the illness.  In the hospital the nurses had asked me if I had taken something, and it was something I didn't like, and so I had thrown it away, and I told her I had taken it. 

Now, I didn't know what a lie was, but I felt guilty.  But later on I learned what lying was.

Dennis: I'm sitting here thinking when you hid the plate – that also had to result in some guilt.

John: Yes, mm-hm.

Dennis: So here is God convicting you of your need for forgiveness, your need for Savior.  And yet you've already made that commitment as a young lad growing up.  You don't happen to have that sheet of paper do you?

Bob: The page in your Bible that shares your testimony?

John: No, I didn't bring it.  I sorry, I didn't bring it with me.

Dennis: Basically, what does that sheet of paper say?

John: Well, it tells about that Saturday night ...

God is Good (Part 1) - John & Donna Bishop
God is Good (Part 2) - John & Donna Bishop
God is Good (Part 3) - John & Donna Bishop

Today® Radio Transcript  

References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.

Making New Memories

Guest:                        John and Donna Bishop

From the series:       God is So Good

Bob: The Bible teaches us a different way of thinking about trials, to count it all joy when we experience various trials.  That can be easy to read but very difficult to do.  Fifteen years ago, John Bishop lost his memory completely as a result of meningitis.  In the years that followed, there were many difficulties the Bishop family faced.

John: That night I hurting so bad, and I'd listen to Psalm, and it said, "O taste and see that the Lord is good," Psalm 34a – "Blessed is the man trusteth in Him," and I said, "God, I going to believe you're good.  If I never get better I still going to believe you're good because that what Your Word says."  And I said, "Lord, this must be what faith means is believing You even when I don't feel like it."  So I'm going to believe God good whether I feel good or not.  I'm going to believe God good whether I get better or not just because the Bible say it.

Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Wednesday, August 6th.  Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.  No matter what happens in your life, can you say God is so good, and all His ways are good?

And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition.  This past weekend we had a wedding.  My daughter, Katy, became Mrs. Katy Walker, and …

Dennis: How did you do?

Bob: I was fine.  I was thinking back to how all marriages start, and they all start with hopes and dreams and the expectation of a storybook romance and they all live happily ever after – that kind of a fairy tale scenario.

Dennis: At least that's what we think is going to happen.  But when we start out a marriage relationship, we have no idea what God has in store for our spouse or for us, as a couple.

Bob: Yes, and as we've been hearing this week, John and Donna Bishop experienced a unique circumstance in their marriage 13 years ago when he lost all memory, and the story had to begin again with a whole new set of circumstances; that the love story had to start up again from scratch.  And yet it's been remarkable to hear how God has sustained this couple and to hear them testify to His goodness in the midst of this kind of adversity.

Dennis: And, you know, I want to turn to the listener at this point before you hear the rest of the story, and I want to encourage you to order a bunch of CDs and pass them out to your buddies.

Bob: I've already done that.  I took …

Dennis: I have, too, Bob, I'm telling you, I'm going to talk to the folks down at the warehouse, and I'm going to see if we can't make a deal so that you can order these – this story in quantity and pass it out at church, pass it out in your neighborhood.  This is going to be a story that I think is going to touch, literally, millions of people's lives around the nation.

Bob: And as we hear part 3 of this story, we're beginning to get a picture of the tremendous impact John's illness had on a marriage and on a family.  I mean, here were John and Donna raising three sons.

Donna:  It was hard on the boys.  I think it's probably hardest maybe on my youngest son, because he was 10 years old, and I remember one day Luke came to me, and he said, "Mom, it's not fair, because my brothers had a daddy that got to play ball with them and go hunting with them and do fun things with him," and he caught me on an up day there, so I said, "I know, but you know the Lord's going to let him be special in a different way than he was with your brothers."  And so I thank the Lord – my youngest son, he's a good boy, and I thank the Lord, and I think him and his dad are close.

Bob: That had to break your heart, though, for your son to say, "It's not fair.  I want a daddy like my brothers had."

Donna: I know.  It was – I struggle with the things – I was going to tell you that when – I remember one night John was laying on the couch there, and he said, "It's okay, God, that you let me be sick."  Well, when he said that, you know, I said, "Oh, no, it's not okay."  Because I just kept saying, "You know, Lord, you know, I married that other man back there, and I just would like to go back to that," and I struggled.  That was one of my struggles – the Lord just saying, "Okay, Lord, it's okay."  And it was easier for him to say it than for me to say it.  I just had a hard time.

And so the Lord and I have had many discussions over this.

Bob: Do you feel like you've had two husbands?

Donna:  Yes, sir, I sure do.

Dennis: What's the part of John before the illness that you miss the most?

Donna: Probably the part just take the leadership and go on and just the energy just to go on and keep going into things.

Dennis: So he was the leader, he was leading you and the family and the church and taking you in a direction.

Donna: Yes, sir.  And he was, you know, just never stopped, just keep going.

Dennis: What's the part of the new John that you like the best?

Donna: I like the best part is he's very loving, very kind.  I guess the Lord slowed him down, and he slows down, and he appreciates things and is just – you know, when we slow down, it's amazing how many things we've learned to miss, you know, that we have missed along the way until we slow down.

Dennis: John, as you hear your wife describe John prior to 1995, prior to the illness, as a man, and you are a man, I mean, you have to be like all the rest of us who want to say, "I want to be that man now."

John: Mm-hm.

Dennis: Do you feel that?

John: Yes, I do, and yet they had some tapes of me preaching before my illness, but one day I listening one of my messages, and I was pretty harsh, and I was listening and "I don't like that guy," and I took tape out and threw it out window.

[laughter...

FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript  

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Life Aboard the Space Station

Guest:                         Barry Wilmore                       

From the series:       Life Aboard the Space Station (Day 1 of 1)

Bob: And welcome to FamilyLife Today. Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition. This could get a little tricky today. I’m not sure—

Houston: Hello, this is Houston Comm Tech. 

Dennis: This is Dennis Rainey with FamilyLife Today. 

 Bob: And Bob Lepine. Houston, can you hear us?  

Houston: I hear you very low. 

Bob: Low?  Not loud and clear?  

Houston: Okay, you’re coming in a little bit louder. Please standby.
 
 Bob: Do I need to say, “Over”?  

Houston: Okay, this is Comm Tech with a second voice-take on private three; now copy. 

Bob: Hi, Comm Tech. How’s the sound now?  Better?  

Houston: Sounds better. Please stand by for a moment. 

Bob: Okay. 

Dennis: Alright. 

 Bob: I’m getting the sense that you don’t make jokes with Houston Comm Tech or anybody else in Houston. 

Dennis: Well, we’re speaking to NASA. 

Bob: They are a little focused on the mission. 

Dennis: And folks, this is not a joke. That really is—

Bob: Yes. 

Dennis: —Houston NASA Control Center. 

Bob: And here is the thing. Some of our listeners recognize that, back last fall, we had the opportunity to have a conversation with Captain Barry Wilmore and his wife Deanna just before Barry blasted off from a launch pad in Russia—

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Dennis: A Soyuz rocket. 

Bob: —going up to take command of the International Space Station, which is where he is today. 

Dennis: And we also recorded, without Deanna knowing, a 20th Anniversary greeting.
 
 Bob: Yes, Barry called us from the space station, back in early December—December 3rd was their anniversary—

Dennis: Right. 

Bob: —their 20th Anniversary. We had him, at the end of the program, sharing anniversary greetings. 

Dennis: And he sent me an email, after that happened, and said: “Dennis, thank you for allowing me to do that. My daughter actually took a video.” I don’t know how they do this, Bob—but they showed the video back to him on the space station. He is in the International Space Station, right now. He had a conversation—and he said, “My daughter showed my wife weeping—

Bob: As she listened?  

Dennis: —“as she listened to my 20th Anniversary greetings.” 

Bob: And we’re trying to work things out now. I think this is going to work, where Houston is setting us up so that we can talk to Captain Wilmore— 

2:00

Dennis: —on the International Space Station. 

Bob: Right. 

Dennis: He—

Barry: FamilyLife Today, hello. Hello, from the International Space Station. You guys out there?  

 Bob: Unbelievable!  Is it really you?  

Barry: Hi, Bob! Hi, Dennis!  

Bob: And how many bars do you have on your phone right now?  [Laughter]  

 Barry: Hopefully, enough!  

Dennis: Amazing!  

 Bob: It is amazing that we’re talking to you!  

Barry: Well, thank you all for your program—it’s fabulous. 

Dennis: Would you mind looking out your window and telling us what you’re seeing right now?  

 Barry: If I’m not mistaken—I didn’t look at a map—but if I’m not mistaken, based on what I’ve seen, I believe that’s Australia going by below me. 

Bob: Wow!  [Laughter]  

Dennis: Well, Butch, you’re looking at the earth as few men or women ever get a chance to see it. What’s a unique perspective you’ve had, just from outer space?  This is your second time to be in orbit. Any thoughts come to your mind as you glance at the globe of six billion people?  

Barry: Very interesting question. You know, when I was here before—when I flew five years ago—

3:00

—it was a shuttle mission. Shuttle missions were fast and furious—it was 11 days. I think the most time I ever had to stick my nose in the window was about 20 minutes. That really wasn’t long enough—it was wonderful—don’t get me wrong. But now, to have the opportunity to really, no kidding, poke my nose in the window for very extended periods of time, it’s truly amazing and truly breathtaking. It makes me in awe of my Lord and Savior and Creator—I mean—beyond words. 

I can’t explain—you can’t explain the view. You can’t—I mean, you can see pictures / you can see video—and they do a little bit to show what the beauty of the earth and the globe is from here; but to see it with your own eyes and realize that it’s controlled by a sovereign God—like I said, it’s beyond words. 

Bob: Tell us what a day is like onboard the Space Station. First of all, what time zone are you in?  

Barry: Yes, we work under GMT, Greenwich Mean Time, which is the same time as London. 

Before I answer that question—

4:00

—let me say that / I want it to be clear—it is an amazing place, and it’s an amazing view. It is an amazing thing to be here. I wake up every morning, and I float down the tube. I’m like: “Lord, I can’t believe I’m here. This is just amazing!  It’s thrilling.”  

But I did not need to come here to know my Lor...

25 Questions You Are Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex and Intimacy (Part 1) - Juli Slattery
25 Questions You Are Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex and Intimacy (Part 2) - Juli Slattery
25 Questions You Are Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex and Intimacy (Part 3) - Juli Slattery

FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript  

References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.

What Does God Approve of?

Guest:                         Juli Slattery               

From the series:       25 Questions You Are Afraid to Ask (Day 1 of 3)

Bob: More marriages than ever are struggling with issues related to marital intimacy and sexuality. Dr. Juli Slattery says, “There is a good reason why.”  

Juli: You can now assume that the average couple is dealing with issues of pornography / there is a good chance there has been sexual trauma in the past—that people are bringing in a lot of baggage, and shame, and guilt about the things that have happened before marriage. We’re dealing with the assumption, now, that there are an awful lot of men and women who are single, into their 30s and 40s, before their first marriage. The game has really changed. God’s truth hasn’t changed, but how we address it and the assumptions we make are very different. 

Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Monday, October 24th. Our host is the President of FamilyLife®, Dennis Rainey, and I’m Bob Lepine. We’re going to dive right into today and talk about issues that a lot of you are facing in your marriage. Stay with us. 

And welcome to FamilyLife Today. 

1:00

Thanks for joining us. We just ought to say, here at the beginning—we’re about to have a candid conversation on a sensitive subject. It’s one that you sometimes wonder, “Should we even be talking about this?”  But honestly, every time we talk to couples about issues in their marriage, this subject comes up. 

 Dennis: It does. We’ve got a person who knows how to handle delicate subjects like this very, very well. Dr. Juli Slattery joins us on FamilyLife Today. Juli—welcome to FamilyLife Today. 

 Juli: Thanks for having me. 

Dennis: You know, I’m really impressed, Bob, that Juli chose to be on FamilyLife Today. Most of our guests we trick, but Juli actually chose to be on FamilyLife Today and talk about this subject we’re going to talk about. [Laughter]

Bob: She knew what she was getting herself into; right?  

Dennis: In case our listeners don’t know who that name is—Juli is married to Mike and has been since 1994. She has three sons—lives in Colorado. She is a clinical psychologist—

2:00

—author of seven books, speaker, and host of Java with Juli, which takes place in a coffee shop. 

Juli: It does; yes. See, I love coffee so much I had to find a way to work it into my normal routine. 

 Dennis: Yes. Have you done some Java with Juli on this book we’re about to talk about?  

Juli: Well, you know, I think that this book came out of a lot of those conversations. So, it’s kind of sprinkled around, I’d say. 

Dennis: Well, our audience is wondering what you’ve written about. Here’s the name of the book—you’re going to get the point—25 Questions You’re Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy. Why this book?  Why now?  

Juli: Well, I run a ministry called Authentic Intimacy. A lot of what I do every day is teach, and write, and answer people’s questions on sexuality. Wherever I go—for example, speaking—we will have at least a half an hour, if not an hour, of live Q&A where women can text in their questions anonymously. 

3:00

From that and, also, meeting with women and the emails we get—there are some consistent questions that women will ask. We just thought: “Hey, why not compile this into one resource?  These are the questions that either we get asked all the time or, sometimes, they’re the questions underneath the question. 

Dennis: Is there a number one question women are asking today that seems to be a unique question because of the day we live in?  

Juli: The questions that are most common, probably, would be the most common ten years ago, I’m going to think—about like: “What does God approve of in the marriage bed?” for example—or as a single woman—“Does God say this act is wrong?”  That’s the number one question. 

I think, in terms of the changing culture, what I’ve seen—and probably what you’ve seen in your ministry to marriage and family—is that things that were an assumption 15 or 

20 years ago are no longer an assumption—like: “Where does the Bible actually say it’s wrong to have sex out of marriage?  I’ve never heard that before,”— 

4:00

—whereas, again, 15 or 20 years ago, those were assumptions that we could begin with. 

Bob: When we host our Weekend to Remember® marriage getaways for couples, we always have time where we are with the engaged couples.  Twenty years ago, when you got the engaged couples together in the room, you had an assumption, as a speaker, that some percentage of your audience was probably sexually active during their engagement period. Today, when you get together with that group, the assumption is virtually everybody—in fact, I think the statistic I saw most recently was that five percent of women who get married today are virgins when they get married. 

Juli: Yes. 

Bob: We’re in a very different place than we were two decades ago, as it relates to a lot of the subjects that you are writing about. 

Juli: And it’s not just being sexually active; but you can now assume that the average couple is dealing with issues of pornography; that there is a good chance there has been sexual trauma in the past—that people are bringing in a lot of baggage, and shame, and guilt about the things that have happened before marriage. 

5:00

A...

25 Questions You Are Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex and Intimacy (Part 1) - Juli Slattery
25 Questions You Are Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex and Intimacy (Part 2) - Juli Slattery
25 Questions You Are Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex and Intimacy (Part 3) - Juli Slattery

FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript  

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Sexual Discipleship

Guest:                         Juli Slattery               

From the series:       25 Questions You Are Afraid to Ask (Day 2 of 3)

Bob: Has it ever occurred to you that sexual intimacy between a man and a woman—that was God’s idea and His design?  Here is Dr. Juli Slattery. 

Juli: I think that the average Christian couple can’t imagine God blessing anything sexual—where we see in the Song of Solomon that, actually, God is blessing this couple that is in the midst of sexual intimacy: “Eat friends. Drink. Imbibe deeply. Enjoy this, because I gave this to you as a gift. Even if you’ve got all kinds of things in your past, bring those before Me / lay them before Me; and I bless what you have today within the confines of marriage.”  

Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Tuesday, October 25th. Our host is the President of FamilyLife®, Dennis Rainey. I’m Bob Lepine. The Bible has a lot to say about intimacy in marriage—a lot of good things—and we’re going to explore some of it today. Stay with us. 

1:00

And welcome to FamilyLife Today. Thanks for joining us. I think you were the first person I ever heard quote Howard Hendricks on the subject we’re talking about today. And the quote, if I remember it—you can correct me if I’m wrong—was—

Dennis: I will. [Laughter]  

Bob: No—no doubt there. I think he said, “We should not be ashamed to discuss what God was not embarrassed to create.” 
 
 Dennis: That’s right. You nailed it. 

Bob: That’s what we’re going to be doing today; right?  

 Dennis: We are going to discuss what God was not ashamed to create. In fact, I just want to read about it—here in Genesis, Chapter 1, verse 27: “So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”  I don’t understand it. I just know the Bible proclaims it. Somehow, our sexuality, as men and women, declares who God is to a planet that does not know Almighty God and all that He is about.

2:00

And I’ve got to tell you—over a lifetime, you just begin to explore what God is up to around this whole area of human sexuality. 

Dr. Juli Slattery is going to help us unpack this today and provide all the answers with a book that she has written called 25 Questions You’re Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy. 

Juli: Wow!  

Dennis: Wow is right. 

Juli: All the questions—I don’t—

Dennis: Well, you actually chose to be on FamilyLife Today to discuss this. 

Juli: This is obedience. 

Dennis: I think it is. [Laughter]  Juli has been married to her husband Mike since 1994. They have three sons. She is a clinical psychologist / authored a number of books. 

I just want to talk about something that you discuss in your book. I’ve never heard this subject before; but I have to admit I really, really like this—you talk about the need for sexual discipleship. I love the concept because discipleship means training;—

3:00

Juli: Right. 

Dennis: —it means equipping; it means helping someone know how to think about life. Now, you apply it, if you would, to the area of human sexuality. 

Juli: Absolutely. You know, I grew up in a Christian family / in church. The best that I got was little pockets of sex education. The difference between discipleship and education is what you referred to, Dennis—is: “Do you know how to think biblically about God’s design for sexuality?”  

Dennis: Give us an idea of one of those little pockets of truth you learned, growing up. Explain what you mean by that. 

Juli: Sure. You’re told sex is wrong before marriage; and somehow, it is right after marriage: “Don’t do it before you get married. Don’t think about it. Don’t be sexual. But as soon as you get married, all of a sudden, this switch will flip, and you’re going to have fun.”  So, that’s what we’re told. 

The reality of it is—you are a sexual person before or if you never get married—

4:00

—you’re still a sexual person: “What do I do with that?”  Then, once you get married—if you get married—it’s not like this switch will flip and then, all of a sudden, you know how to enjoy this. I experienced that as a Christian young woman. It was like the messages were so confusing. I would say, in the first decade of our marriage, “This area was not good”; and we didn’t know how to address it because we weren’t given the training. 

Bob: I just have to say—I love the fact that your starting place for this conversation is—not how to counteract cultural messages or how to answer: “Well, what’s acceptable / what’s not acceptable?”—your starting place is: “Let’s think like God thinks about this subject. Let’s cultivate a biblical worldview and not just a limited, pocketed biblical worldview, where we know this is true and this is true; but we don’t see the big picture. Let’s get it all out on the table and understand it in a fully-orbed way.” 

5:00

When you do that—now, all of a sudden, a lot of the questions that you have get answered by themselves; don’t they?  

Juli: They absolutely do. What I’m seeing, in working with women, is that the average Christian woman has been discipled in many areas of her life—including her marriage—but she hasn’t been discipled in how to think about sexuality. 

Bob: So, when you’re advocating sexual discipleship—the term that Dennis mentioned—how...

25 Questions You Are Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex and Intimacy (Part 1) - Juli Slattery
25 Questions You Are Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex and Intimacy (Part 2) - Juli Slattery
25 Questions You Are Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex and Intimacy (Part 3) - Juli Slattery

FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript  

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The Spiritual Component of Sexuality

Guest:                         Juli Slattery               

From the series:       25 Questions You Are Afraid to Ask (Day 3 of 3)

Bob: Dr. Juli Slattery had been married ten years before there was a breakthrough that occurred in her marriage in the area of marital intimacy.

Juli: We had many years of boredom. You know, one of the first steps I took was I dedicated three months: “Lord, I’m going to pray about this area of my life. I’m going to learn to enjoy it, and I’m going to learn to pursue it.” I got serious about saying: “God, You’re not okay with where we are. I’m not okay with where we are. I’m going to devote myself to helping change that.” 

Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Wednesday, October 26th. Our host is the President of FamilyLife®, Dennis Rainey. I'm Bob Lepine. Could it be that a season of prayer and study could actually bring about a breakthrough in your marital intimacy? We’ll talk more about that with Dr. Juli Slattery today. Stay with us.

1:00  

And welcome to FamilyLife Today. Thanks for joining us. I hope our listeners have been hanging with us here this week as we’ve been talking about a sensitive subject. I have to tell you—just in the conversation, there is such rightness in talking in a healthy—

Dennis: Oh and it’s healthy!

Bob: —biblical way—

Dennis: Yes!

Bob: —about what God created.

Dennis: If there’s a radio program on—on all of radio—it ought to be a Christian radio program talking about sex from a biblical perspective. Dr. Juli Slattery has been with us this week. I just want to tell you: “You’re doing a great job. Your book is excellent—25 Questions You’re Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex and Intimacy.” 

Juli—welcome back to the broadcast, first of all. I just want to ask you—you’ve been married since 1994 / you have three sons: “What is the most important lesson you personally have learned about love, sex, and intimacy?”

Juli: That this is spiritual terrain. 

2:00

It’s not just a matter of good parenting or having a happy marriage—that sexuality represents a very intense spiritual battle. When I learned that, it was a total game changer in how I approached this in my marriage and parenting.

Dennis: So, in essence, you’re saying: “Who are you listening to?

Juli: Yes; yes.

Dennis: “Are you listening to the Bible and God’s perspective of sex?”—because that’s really the only place you’re going to find it is in the Bible—or “Are you listening, watching, and feeding from what the world is?”

Bob: Yes; when you’re standing at the supermarket checkout line and Cosmo is there—what they’re advertising on the front cover is not, “Here’s how to think biblically about sexuality”; right?

Juli: No; no.

Bob: They’re kind of compartmentalizing it to a purely biological activity that you can disassociate from every other aspect of your life. When people think that way, what happens to their sexuality?

Juli: Well, and I think a lot of Christians do think that way—they think that sexuality is compartmentalized. 

3:00

What happens is that you never realize that Jesus needs to be Lord of that area of your life too. In 1 Corinthians 6, it talks about the sexual, and spiritual, and the relational all being intertwined—that you can’t make a sexual choice that isn’t also spiritual. When you start to understand that—that this is a major battle; and if I’m not careful with even the little choices I make, I can be contributing to evil I hate. 

Boy, when you get that, it changes—for example, we all hate sex trafficking and sexual exploitation. We hate it / we wish it would go away. But we don’t realize that our choices—for example, to look at pornography feeds into sexual exploitation and trafficking—that we have a part to play in that. Even just a cavalier attitude about casual sex—and you can hook up with whomever you want—you’re contributing to the enemy’s design on tarnishing sexuality. 

4:00

That’s really convicting. It changes the way we pray, and it changes the way we act.

Dennis: I want to take a step back and just address a couple, who are listening to our broadcast, where sex has become boring. The romance is kind of out the window—it’s a routine, it’s a duty, it has lost its zest, and—well, whether a man or a woman, it can just be something you just “have to do” or neglect to do.

Bob: Yes. Let’s say somebody comes to you and says, “Okay; here’s our deal…”—a couple in their 30s / they’ve got three kids. Both of them have full-time jobs. They would say: “You know, I guess for the last year, maybe once or twice a month we’ll have sex and it is okay; but it kind of feels more like a chore. I’m honestly—I’m really okay if we just kind of let it phase out of our marriage.” There are people thinking like that; aren’t there?

Juli: There are; absolutely! 

5:00

I would say: “First of all, you’re normal. Those are normal seasons of marriage. Second of all, you might be okay with letting it fade away; but God’s not okay with letting it fade away. We know that because, in 1 Corinthians 7, one of the few very specific pieces of marriage advice that we get from the Bible is: “Don’t neglect sexual intimacy except for mutual consent for a time of prayer,”—that’s the only reason why you should be avoiding this.

Now, of course, there are health issues and things like that you may need to work through; but the spirit of it is: “This is very important for you to pursue,”—that would be the challenge of: “God would say ...

Reading to Children (Part 1) - Sally Lloyd-Jones
Reading to Children (Part 2) - Sally Lloyd-Jones

FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript  

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God Breaking into History

Guest:                        Sally Lloyd-Jones                  

From the series:       Telling Stories to Children (Day 1 of 2)    

Bob: One of the challenges that families often face during the Christmas season is how to or even whether to blend in the holiday traditions with the biblical story of Christmas. Here’s some thoughts from author, Sally Lloyd-Jones. 

Sally: You know, I became a Christian when I was four. I am sure, the first four years of my life, we were—it was more Santa Claus. Father Christmas was the big person looming in your life when you’re little. I suppose the excitement of: “He’s coming!” and everything like that—that’s not so dissimilar to what you—actually, is the truth of Christmas. It’s exciting; because your rescuer is coming, which is much more exciting than “Santa’s coming with presents.”

Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Thursday, December 7th. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Sally Lloyd-Jones joins us today to talk about how we keep Jesus at the center of the Christmas season. Stay with us. 

1:00

And welcome to FamilyLife Today. Thanks for joining us. 

Dennis: How’s your English accent, Bob? [Laughter]

Bob: Terrible. [Laughter]

Dennis: You have a great impersonation of Jerry Falwell. 

Bob: Yes; but—

Dennis: Can I hear your Sally Lloyd-Jones? [Laughter]

Bob: I’m not that clever! [Laughter] No; mine would be [speaking with English accent]: 

Look at her, a person of the gutters, 

Condemned by every syllable she utters. 

By right, she ought to be taken out and hung 

For the cold-blooded murder of the English tongue!

Sally: That’s brilliant.

Bob: Thank you.

Barbara: I know that one.

Bob: Do you?

Barbara: I watched that over, and over, and over.

Bob: That’s Henry Higgins. Don’t you know Henry Higgins?

Sally: Of course! I was just testing. [Laughter]

Bob: If you could have anybody come to your house and tell the Christmas story to your kids at Christmas time, who would—wouldn’t you want Sally Lloyd-Jones coming and telling the Christmas story to your kids?

Dennis: I think a wonderful story I’d love to hear—just to hear George tell the Christmas story.

Barbara: Oh, A Wonderful Life! [Laughter] 

Bob: George Bailey?

Dennis: Yes!

Bob: [Imitating George Bailey] “Help me, Clarence. Help me! [Laughter] Get me out of here!” 

Sally: He’s very good; isn’t he? 

2:00

Bob: [Imitating George Bailey] “Get me back to my wife and kids!”

Sally: You love films, I guess.

Bob: I do; I do.

Dennis: When it’s Christmas time—this happens to Bob every 11 months—so just put up with it if you would. [Laughter]

I just introduced, very casually there, Sally Lloyd-Jones, who joins us again on FamilyLife Today. She was born and raised in Africa, schooled in England, lives in New York City. She is the New York Times author of a bestselling book—one of them she has written is called The Jesus Storybook Bible.

Bob: I think everybody listening to FamilyLife Today has The Jesus Storybook Bible—feels like. How many copies?

Sally: Two point five million.

Barbara: Then I think you’re right—it is everybody.

Bob: Everybody I run into—

Barbara: I have one, and I don’t have children at home. I have mine marked—I love it! [Laughter]

Sally: Oh. The most exciting thing to me is its now in 34 languages.

Bob: Oh, that’s wonderful.

Dennis: That’s cool!

Barbara: Wow!

Dennis: What’s your favorite language out of those 34? 

3:00

Sally: Well, I’m really excited about Arabic—it’s just been translated into Arabic. What I love to say is, “I wrote a book I can’t read,”—[Laughter]—actually, three of them!

Dennis: And is it in Mandarin?

Sally: I think it is.

Bob: That’s great!

Dennis: That reaches a few people too. 

Also joining us is my wife Barbara. Tell them about Sally’s book that we’re also talking about this Christmas.

Barbara: We’re talking about this book that she wrote for children for Christmas: Song of the Stars: A Christmas Story. I just think it’s a great idea to have books to read to your kids during the different seasons, because we have all these traditions that we do. I remember when we were raising our kids—there were certain books that we read, every season, that were favorites. I think this one will become a favorite of many families to read, year after year, with your children. 

Bob: We had, in our library at home, it was called The Holiday Story Book. There were stories for every holiday of the year. So you’d open it and read one for Valentine’s Day or whatever. I never read any of them except the Christmas one. I remember it was a story of a car in an old car lot that was sitting there. 

4:00

Nobody wanted to buy this old car—it was a clunker and barely ran. Apparently, as I remember it, Santa’s sleigh malfunctioned right over the ca...

Reading to Children (Part 1) - Sally Lloyd-Jones
Reading to Children (Part 2) - Sally Lloyd-Jones

FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript  

References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.

Reading to Children

Guest:                        Sally Lloyd-Jones                             

From the series:       Telling Stories to Children (Day 2 of 2)             

Bob: Do you read stories to your children? Do you read Bible stories to them? Sally Lloyd-Jones has a caution for you.

Sally: Whenever we read a story and then we say, “Well, what that story’s about…”—whatever we put on the other side of “about”—that becomes the only thing that story’s about. The minute we do that—it’s terrible / it’s the worst thing you could ever say. I’m passionate about that because of what that does—is, basically, you’ve decided what that story is about / you’ve decided what God might want to say to that child—but what if God wants to say something completely different?

Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Friday, December 8th. Our host is Dennis Rainey; I'm Bob Lepine. There is great power in telling good stories. We’ll hear from a great story-teller today, Sally Lloyd-Jones. Stay with us.

And welcome to FamilyLife Today. Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition. We’re having a delightful time this week with a delightful friend. 

1:00

Before we introduce her again, we’re in the final weeks of the year. This is a pretty important, pretty strategic time for us as a ministry.

Dennis: It is! I’ll tell you something that delights me—I love hearing from listeners. I heard, recently, from a single mom who said our broadcast gives her hope every day to keep on keeping on. Here’s one from somebody who struggled through the heartbreak of a divorce and a broken family—she said: “It helped me grow in Christ immensely.” And then one other: “Our marriage was falling apart. I started listening, daily, to FamilyLife Today. The information I received gave me the strength to fight for my marriage.”

We have a lot of folks, Bob, who are finding help and hope for their marriage and family. But in order for us to do that, we need listeners to step up and say: “I want to stand with you guys as you guys proclaim the biblical blueprints for a marriage and a family. You’re ministering to marriages and families and leaving legacies, all across the nation and all around the globe.” 

2:00

Would you stand with us right now?

Bob: It’s easy to make a yearend contribution. You can do it, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to donate at 1-800-FL-TODAY. There’s a matching-gift opportunity that’s in effect so, when you give your donation, it’s going to be doubled—the impact of your giving will be doubled. You’ll help us reach more people in 2018 and that’s our goal—is to reach more people with practical biblical help and hope. Again, you can donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.

Now, back to our conversation with our guest, Sally Lloyd-Jones. We’ve been talking about holidays; we’ve been talking about family, and fun, and about food. In fact, you don’t think there can be good Christmas food in Great Britain. When you were over there, you thought all the food was horrible; right?

Dennis: “I was trying to find out a way to get across the English Channel to get to France.” [Laughter]

Bob: Have you watched The Great British Bake Off? Have you watched that show?

Dennis: I have not, Bob.

Bob: Have you watched it?

Sally: Yes; everyone’s obsessed!

3:00

Bob: I know, it’s amazing; isn’t it?

Dennis: Bob, I’m concerned about you—you’re watching The British Bake Off!

Bob: The Great British Bake Off is a great reality show. Barbara, you would love The Great British Bake Off.

Barbara: I would? Okay.

Bob: So, make Dennis watch it.

Dennis: No; she wouldn’t; she does not like to cook! [Laughter]

Barbara: I enjoy watching other people cook.

Bob: That’s exactly the point.

Sally: That’s perfectly fine with me!

Dennis: I do want to welcome Sally Lloyd-Jones back to the broadcast. Welcome back. 

Sally: Thank you so much.

Dennis: We’re thrilled to have you. She was born and raised in Africa, schooled in England, lives in New York City, but will celebrate Christmas back in England—

Barbara: —eating figgy pudding—we found out.

Dennis: —eating figgy pudding.

Bob: That’s right!

Dennis: She is a great author. She’s written a number of best-selling books, including The Jesus Storybook Bible, Song of the Stars, and one we are going to talk about today called, Found, which is the 23rd Psalm. And then a book about a child’s identity, and his voice in this world their living in. How many books have you written?

Sally: Over 25. I had to count them up the other day.

Barbara: Wow!

Dennis: Yes? That’s amazing!  

4:00

Your whole journey started out writing books for children when you were a little girl and you read a book that opened your mind and your heart to a whole new world with books.

Sally: Yes! When I was about seven, I thought books were to learn, to be serious, [and] to do at school. I wasn’t a child that really thrived at school—I was a bit dreamy. I was given this book called The Complete Nonsense by Edward Lear. In England, a lot of people know that book; but they may not in America—he’s not quite so well-known here. But I’d advise everyone to get that book! I’m not getting anything—it sounds like I’m getting referrals—but I’m not! I’m just passionate about it. 

The reason I am is that it changed everything. I got thi...