Design Your Life, Your Way - Strategic Growth for the Conscious Midlife Entrepreneur

When Gramps Jeffrey, a baby boomer with over 6 grandchildren, discovers that 30% of grandparents are considered "remote" and not involved in their kids' lives, he sets out on a mission to inspire them to become actively involved and teach the greatest generation of kids how to find the glass that is half full.

Show Notes | Transcript

"It takes a village to raise a kid. We as grandparents have got to help step into this and offset this great information that they're learning. We've got to balance their lives with things that, these things that we grew up with." Gramps Jeffrey

Gramps Jeffrey (otherwise known as Mark Joseph) is an author and entrepreneur who has written a children's book, "I Don't Want to Turn Three", and books for entrepreneurs, such as "The Secrets of Retailing: How to Beat Walmart". He is passionate about baby boomers becoming more involved in raising their grandchildren.

Gramps Jeffrey learned about the importance of grandparents involvement in raising grandkids first-hand after he spent 6 weeks with his 6 grandkids during the pandemic. He learned that it takes a village to raise a kid, and that grandparents must provide love and guidance, empathy, respect, positive thinking, and most importantly, fun. Gramps Jeffrey realized that the Baby Boomer generation, although diverse, shared important experiences that can be used to raise the next generation of kids.

In this episode, you will learn the following:

What is the true role of parents in today's world?

What are the shared experiences of the Baby Boomer Generation?

What are the reasons why small businesses fail?

Related Live. Love. Engage. episodes you may enjoy:

Ageless Living with Ruth Yunker: Paris, Kids, and Modeling After 70

In this episode, Ruth Yunker shares the challenges of communicating with adult children.

Raising Children that Listen with Debra Kocis

Parenting expert Debra Kocis explains what disrespect towards a child looks like and how to teach them respect.

Spiritual Parenting with Randy Rolfe

In this episode, Randy Rolfe shares what parents should be modeling for their children and why parents today face a greater challenge than previous generations.

Resources:

Connect with Gramps Jeffrey here

Email Gramps Jeffrey here

Join the Baby Boomer community here

Join the Soulful Women's Network here

Send me a message here

☕ Support the podcast here

❤ Love this episode? Leave us a review and rating here

Connect with Gloria: LinkedIn | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter

TRANSCRIPT

Gloria Grace Rand

Namaste. I am Gloria Grace Rand, and as always, I like to say that I'm delighted to be with you, because I am, and this is one of my favorite things to do in the whole world is to host this podcast. And I'm so delighted that you are here joining us, whether you're watching on YouTube or listening on your favorite podcast platform. I've got a very multi talented guest with us today. His name is Gramps Jeffrey, otherwise known as Mark Joseph, who is an author and has written a children's book called "I Don't Want to Turn Three," which explores what goes through a toddler's mind, parents so desperate to understand and it's based on true experiences he's had with his grandchildren. And he's also written books for entrepreneurs as well. His first book was called "The Secrets of Retailing - how to Beat Walmart" and was picked up by Huffington Post. Area on Huffington Reddit So not every day that somebody can say that. So kudos to you for that. He's also involved with baby boomers as well. So we're going to try to see how much of this we can cover in our talk today. So I want to welcome Gramps to live, love, engage.

Gramps Jeffrey

Thank you very much for inviting me.

Gloria Grace Rand

I'm glad to have you. We connected a little while ago and I think we'll stick with our main topic for the bit. But I might want to branch into some of these other things. And I know that I believe that a lot of our audience are if they're not grandparents yet, they may be. And I know I'm not yet. I'm not holding out hope, frankly, to be one. But you never know, maybe my kids will surprise me. We'll see. But you have said that you feel it's really important that grandparents need to be more involved in raising their kids. So why do you think that? And let's start from there. And then I want to get into maybe you can share a little bit also about why you wound up writing this book too.

Gramps Jeffrey

No problem. Today's baby boomers, because I'm talking from a baby boomer standpoint our site is babybloomer.org, but too many parent grandparents just don't care. 30% of grandparents are considered remote. Remote means they're just not involved in their kids' lives. And when we think about that, that's one out of every three of us. That means if you look left and look right, you know, whatever, you really don't care about your grandkids. And that that is caused by many different reasons. One of the reasons is caused by us as grandparents. First of all, we may not like the spouse our kid married, okay? So all of a sudden there is a problem between you and the kids. We may be giving our kids too much unsolicited advice about telling them how to raise their kids. And they look at us and they say, hey, you raised us, you got to trust us. You know, we're going to raise our kids. Trust us, we got to do that. So we maybe give them too much advice. We may be exceeding our boundaries just by showing up at their house. Just showing up. We cause a lot of this. We undermine our children's authority by challenging what they're teaching their kids. Grandparents question the parents' values and the family structure, how that's all put together. We as grandparents, tend to play favorites. I've got six grandkids. I have a favorite. But I can't tell you, I can't tell them. We, we gotta think we got to treat them all the same. You know, we manipulate the siblings of a lot of the kids. You know, the transactionally. We, we influence our grandkids. We give them money, we give them gifts, we take them on vacations. That causes strife. That really parents may not like a lot of that. We may not, our generation may not have the empathy it takes for these little kids, their feelings and so forth. That causes problems. We may demand that the grandchild comply and respect us. That causes issues. So a third of us just aren't involved. We said, we've got enough. I'm not getting involved. And that's wrong. We have all got to get involved in raising these grandkids today because as far as I'm concerned, this is the greatest generation this country has ever produced of kids from one to ten years old. I mean, when you think about it, they come right out of the womb. They're on the Internet, they've got their cell phones, they're learning electronically. I didn't get on the Internet until I was 40 years old. So this is a whole different way of raising kids. And so we as grandparents have got to help step into this and offset this great information that they're learning. We've got to balance their lives with things that, these things that we grew up with. And so that's why we have got to be involved as we're raising this new generation of kids.

Gloria Grace Rand

But it seems like you're also saying though, is that we've got to be also mindful and respectful of our children, though, in this process. Because if we're undermining how they raise their kids or we're stepping on their boundaries by showing up unannounced, then they're not going to want us to be involved even if we want to be involved. So I think we're going to have to kind of find a good balance there. It seems like in being able to say, here, I'm available to offer you some advice, but try to be able to not get it ignored. So what do you recommend? I mean, how can someone who, let's say they would like to be more involved in their grandchildren's life, but they don't want to piss off their kids, let's put it that way in the process, how do they go about doing that?

Gramps Jeffrey

Well, why don't we first look at what are parents' responsibility in today's world? Let's take a look at what are they responsible? In today's world of instant information, Uncertainty. Cruelty. Definitely cruelty in today's world. Differences and ideas. I mean, how many differences and ideas does this world have today versus it forever? What really is the true role of parents? They're supposed to provide their children with food and clothing and a place to live, obviously. They're supposed to provide financial support, making medical care, all the opportunities that they can to receive an education. That's really the role of parents. And they're there to protect their children they're from harm and provide them with a safe environment. In today's world, in schools, it's a scary thing. They give them supervision, give them control. And they're supposed to be in charge, but they're also there to teach them all kinds of traits. They're there to teach them honesty. They're there to teach them responsibility and kindness, independence, respect. That's a parent's job to teach their kids, respect. Respect their grandparents, positive thinking. We've got to make sure that what these kids are doing is looking for the glass that is half full rather than half empty. Creativity, that's so important in today's world. There's so many different kids with so many different talents. We've got to encourage all that. We've got to encourage healthy eating. You got to teach them how to eat right, how to exercise. They got to get off the cell phones and out into the sports fields, get them to exercise. We also have to teach them that you can learn and have to be successful from failure. You can fail. And that's something that we can teach them what to do. But one of the most important things and one of the most important things grandparents need to do with these kids is

At the start of a new year, many people choose a guiding word to focus on for the next 12 months. It’s useful in keeping you motivated toward a particular goal and to help you determine your priorities.

Even though we’re six weeks into 2023, if you didn’t choose a word to focus on, you may think, “It’s too late now. I’ll do it next year.”

On this episode of the Live. Love. Engage. podcast:

Why choosing a guiding word is a good practice, no matter when you do it.

Why you might want to do a word of the month

What my 2023 Word is, and how it’s serving me

What Unity's Daily Word has to say about the power of Intention

Related Live. Love. Engage. episodes you may enjoy:

The Courage to Be Intentional with Kathryn Yarborough

In this episode, Kathryn shares how our intentions relate to the stories we tell ourselves.

Releasing the Past to Focus on Joy

I talk about my efforts to write a new story of my life, one that’s focused on creating joy.

Resources

Subscribe to the Daily Word here

Join the Soulful Women's Network here

Send me a message here

Support the podcast here

❤ Love this episode? Leave us a review and rating here

Connect with Gloria: LinkedIn | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter

Ruth Yunker, a 73-year-old woman determined to prove age is meaningless, embarks on an unexpected and daring journey into the world of modeling, challenging her preconceived notions of herself and society's stereotypes to discover the beauty of agelessness.

Show Notes | Transcript

"I'm always big on saying take on the new thing. Be brave, be open, be curious. Whatever age you are, you have to fit it into what you're already doing." Ruth Yunker

Ruth Yunker is a writer, humorist, traveler, and fledgling model. She has written for 40 years and has published three books of her own, including her current book, Baby, I'm the Boss of Me: My Journey to Ageless.

When Ruth turned 70, she felt a sudden awakening, understanding the idea of agelessness and aging. Through her experience, she learned to embrace the joys of being alone and became determined to share her journey with others. With the help of her friends, she began her journey into the world of modeling and found a new passion in life. Now, at 73, Ruth is turning her experiences into a book, showing others that age is just a number.

In this episode, you will learn the following:

Aging with Confidence: Ruth Yunker's Journey to Agelessness

Falling in Love with Paris: Why Ruth changed her mind about this city.

Exploring a Career Change: From Writer to Modeling

Living Alone and Enjoying the Freedom: Ruth's Experience Living Without a Pet or Someone Else in the House.

Related Live. Love. Engage. episodes you may enjoy:

Follow Your Dream at Any Age

In this episode, Robert shares what prompted him to become a musician in his sixties, and why he's inspired to help others follow their dreams.

Reinventing Yourself after 50 with Eva La Cuz & Jennifer Ladd

Running her own clothing design business was always Eva's dream, and after facing a lot of challenges, she finally made that dream come true.

Creating Happiness Habits with Barbara Ellison

In this episode, Barbara shares the challenge she faced after becoming a widow, and how she became a transformational life trainer.

Resources mentioned in this episode

Connect with Ruth here

Follow Ruth on Instagram here

Join the Soulful Women's Network here

Send me a message here

☕ Support the podcast here

❤ Love this episode? Leave us a review and rating here

Connect with Gloria: LinkedIn | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter

TRANSCRIPT

Gloria Grace Rand

Namaste. I am Gloria Grace Rand, and I am so delighted to be with you for another edition of Live. Love. Engage. And we've got an amazing woman on the show today that I can't wait to chat with and to learn more about her and have her share her story with you all. So I want to welcome first of all, Ruth Yunker to Live. Love. Engage.

Ruth Yunker

Well, thank you for having me.

Gloria Grace Rand

Well, I am very pleased to have met you virtually here for a moment because I'm really excited to learn more about you. But let me tell our listeners and those watching on YouTube what you've been up to. Ruth is a writer, a humorist, and traveler, and she is also a fledgling model at the young age of 73. She's been writing for 40 years and has published short stories, magazine articles, and book reviews, and also three books of her own as well. Her first two were about her stays in Paris, and her current book is called Baby, I'm the Boss of Me: My Journey to Ageless, which consists of stories of her life and how now she's facing the third trimester of life. And there's a copy of the book right there she was showing. She's doing it with joy, personal power, and above all, a healthy sense of humor. And there's more there, but I'll maybe let you share a little bit more of that. So let's see. I'm trying to think where to start, and I know a lot of times when I'll have guests on, I ask them about what got you to where you are today. So maybe I'll ask you, why did you decide to write this latest book? And we'll start with that.

Ruth Yunker

Okay, well, I've been writing forever, and I stopped writing fiction pretty early on, and for the last 20 years, I've just been writing about my memoir essay type stuff. So it was a change of genre, but it was also I reached the age of 50, and I stopped drinking, which was very important, needed to be done. And at that point, first of all, I taught yoga for seven years. I couldn't pick up a pen for seven years. But I decided to start writing exactly what I want to write, and what I wanted to write was humor. And so I also then, at that time, began traveling to Paris and by myself and staying in an airbnb and having to go to the grocery store and the laundromat. And in the end, this has been like, for almost every year for 16 years. I have a whole social life over there, thanks to social media and a normal life, you know, I mean, I did the tourist stuff. I don't do that anymore. I go over there and just live there. I love it. But then I turned 70, and that totally freaked me out. Carrying things too far. I remember turning 60 and having a beautiful birthday party for myself. All women people give you great presents when your birthday has a zero at the end of it. Oh, this one's important. Okay. And a friend of mine at that time who was older than I am, said, come on in, the water's fine about being 60. So when I turned 70, the number just didn't flow. I personally don't care, but I knew exactly how it looks to the world or how you say, if I'm 70. I mean, people have stereotyped reactions to it. So why? Quite obviously because there I was having a meltdown on my 70th birthday quietly in the country somewhere, you know, and then suddenly I was 71 and then 72. I mean, and I didn't feel any different. The morning I woke up when I was 72, I looked in the mirror and I thought, I now understand the meaning of the word ageless. This is called my journey to ageless, baby I'm the boss of me. I understand it because I didn't personally feel what my stereotypical idea of what 70 would be like. I didn't look like it for all the various reasons. And all of a sudden, I understood my age was meaningless. And anyway, at that point, I've been doing memoir essays all along, but I decided to put it specifically in a book and write about how I'm aging and how I feel about it. And if anybody likes what I have to say, then they can do it too.

Gloria Grace Rand

I like that. I can relate. Now, as we're recording this, I'm two weeks away from my 60th birthday.

Ruth Yunker

There you go. Have a big party. You'll get great gifts.

Gloria Grace Rand

Well, I tell you what I decided to do was I for years had wanted to host a retreat, and I, for one reason or another, never did it. And I said, you know what, screw it. I'm going to host a retreat this year. And so I'm doing it like the weekend before my birthday. There was a full moon that weekend, and I just thought, oh, this is perfect. That's what I'm going to do. So I totally get that you do want to celebrate those milestones. And I can also understand 70 kind of being strange because I know well, because, I mean, my mom passed at 78, and so I'm sure when I hit 70, I'm probably going to start wondering about it myself a little bit. But I don't feel like 60. And yet I remember when I was a kid and you would see people who were like 60 or 65 and oh, they were so old. But I don't know if it's because we are baby boomers that it's different now. We're living differently, I think, too. And then our our parents or grandparents did tell me a little bit about because I love I've seen some of you. I know you got like, an Instagram account, and you've got pictures on there. And so tell me about this modeling that you are doing us that I love. So you'll have to check around, tell everyone, like, what your your Instagram is?

Ruth Yunker

Well, it was a challenge. I wanted to be a model when I was 16, and this life interfered, and, you know, and I didn't. Yeah, my mother said, oh, well, send you to New York then. But I spent I'd had a peripatetic childhood, lived a lot of places. I didn't want to go anywhere, and I knew I wasn't tall enough at the time, didn't have quite the right look. I just knew, no, don't bother. Anyway, so life goes on and on, and I was having dinner with someone in January. He's kind of a marketing person. We're friends. And I was saying, yeah, you don't make a whole lot of money writing books, and you get a lot of personal satisfaction. And I said, yeah, so I'm going to be in doing the speaking thing now. The speaking thing, now that the pandemic is over, that kind of thing. And he leaned back and said, you said you wanted to be a model when you were a teenager. If you want to make some money, why don't you model? There's a whole huge world for they call them silver models. All those women who keep saying on Instagram and keep saying, I began transitioning into my gray. And I'm thinking, do they know anything about transgender issues going on these days? And what they sound like compared to what these people are going through with just going gray, for God's sake. And they usually have gorgeous heads of hair, too. So I couldn't go gray if... I don't want to go gray. So not now white. My hairdresser is saying, we're pretty close to white. And I'm saying, when I turn 80, I'll go white.

Gloria Grace Rand

There you go.

Ruth Yunker

Yeah. So he said, Why don't you try it? And I said, Well, I don't have a clue how to get started. I live in L.A. That's just like a hopeless situation. He said, well, you should try it. You should try it, the speaking thing. You're not going to like it, and I just know you. And they said, but get professional headshots. And therein began in February my journey into this whole modeling world and also being out here in Los Angeles that involves the Hollywood world and the Hollywood mindset. And I am not looking to do fashion modeling in fashion magazines. Obviously, I'm not old. I mean,...

Are you interested in alternative healing methods? Western medicine is great at things like fixing broken bones, but too often the focus is on treating symptoms instead of getting to the root of a problem. That’s why I love alternative healing methods like Reiki and light language.

On this episode of the Live. Love. Engage. podcast:

What is light language?

The healing benefits of light language

Why it's important to set an intention

A Daily Word reading about being the light in the world

Related Live. Love. Engage. episodes you may enjoy:

Unlocking Joy with Susan Reis: Angel Songs, Light Language & Miracles

Healing through Body Memory Release with Tatiana Vilarea

Healing from the Inside Out with Teresa Bruni

Resources

Subscribe to the Daily Word here

Join the Soulful Women's Network here

Send me a message here

Support the podcast here

❤ Love this episode? Leave us a review and rating here

Connect with Gloria: LinkedIn | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter

When Susan Reis discovers her power to channel angel songs, she embarks on an epic journey of self-discovery and transformation, determined to use her gifts to bring joy, healing, and light into the world.

Show Notes | Transcript

We are the ones we've been waiting for. It's not going to be some big person. It's going to be the shop, the girls at the checkout line, at the grocery store. It's going to be the teachers, it's going to be the lawyers. It's going to be everyone, every single person you can imagine. It's time to create a world of joyful abundance from within! - Susan Reis

Susan Reis is an internationally best-selling author, certified sound therapist, and medium who uses angel songs, light language, and consciousness tools to bring people to their greatest joy and contribute more positive energy to our world.

Susan had a deep spiritual connection with angels and was blessed with the gift of singing angel songs. She spent years studying different religions and looking for ways to use her intuition to help others. One day, Susan decided to embrace her gifts and started singing in bars, and soon after, wrote a book about finding joy in life. She stresses the importance of being connected to source energy, and to ask the question, "What's right about this that I'm not getting? What else is possible?" By taking this approach, she believes that people can open up new doorways and be on a timeline with joyful possibilities. Susan believes that we are all here to help.

In this episode, you will learn the following:

The connection between gratitude and living a joyful, abundant, miraculous life.

How multi-dimensional energy can shift you from a problem timeline to a joyful possibilities timeline.

The benefits of living with the heart-centered, loving energy of Christ Consciousness.

Related Live. Love. Engage. episodes you may enjoy:

Joyfully Managing Midlife Changes with Claire & James Davis

In this episode, Claire & James share the importance of exercise, nutrition, and stress management to support a high quality of life in midlife and beyond.

Releasing the Past to Focus on Joy

I talk about my efforts to write a new story of my life, one that’s focused on creating joy.

Energy Clearing Benefits with Caroline Perez

Caroline explains how we can make our own lives easier to navigate, and how personal energy clearing can be a fresh start.

Resources mentioned in this episode

Connect with Susan here

Join Susan's Facebook group here

Join the Soulful Women's Network here

Send me a message here

☕ Support the podcast here

❤ Love this episode? Leave us a review and rating here

Connect with Gloria: LinkedIn | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter

TRANSCRIPT

Gloria Grace Rand

Namaste. I'm so glad to be with you again and get to do one of my favorite things, which is to interview other people on the show. I love doing solo episodes, but I really love to bring amazing folks on to the show. And today's guest is no different. Susan Reis is a certified sound therapist and medium who uses angel songs light language, which I love, and consciousness tools to bring people to their greatest joy and contribute more positive energy to our world. And she is also an international best selling author and she's been featured on a bunch of global tele summits and acknowledged as one of the top 43 healers in the world. Might want to ask you about that, how does that happen? And just, you know, she loves sharing her intuitive gifts and helping others. So I want to officially welcome you, Susan, to live, love, engage.

Susan Reis

Thank you. Thank you so much for having me here, Gloria. What a beautiful treat. We met and just the energy seemed to flow so nice. And this is such an honor and a privilege. And for those of you that never met me, I do this strange thing of opening my mouth and having angel songs come through. And I do like to start that - any gatherings like this, like this for a couple of reasons. It puts us in this different energy field. It also gives us connected to our highest guides and angels. It kind of gives us a spiritual protection. I use essential oils and other things. I play with angels and essential oils and I use other things to assist too. But if you don't mind, I'd like to just open up with an angel song and I never know what's going to come through. And it kind of sets the tone of what our higher selves would like to talk about today.

Gloria Grace Rand

I like that. So sure, I'm all for shaking things up and doing things a little differently today. I would love for you to share that with us. Go ahead.

Susan Reis

And again, like I said, I never know what's come through. It's always a beautiful message for all of you. Whether you're listening to this. Whenever you find this, it's always just perfect. So here we go. And I might do light language too. So if it comes out with light language, you are familiar with it. Gloria is familiar with it. You've heard her do light language. Mine comes out with the song and I might do that too. So just so you know.

Yummy Nayang kayano my hana kayano kayana, kayanaye. We are celebrating that you are gathering today in this way. Kayanaya. And when your hearts go out to help your world, we are here to banish all the fear. Let that heart be clear and simply shine. Now it is time. Now all divine. Now do your part, sharing from your heart. Let's start.

Gloria Grace Rand

I love that. That's lovely. And that's going to work perfectly with my first question today. So how did you come to be doing things like this? To be sharing angel songs and light language and all these gifts that you have to share? How did that come about?

Susan Reis

I certainly didn't come into the world singing light language and angel songs that I remember. Maybe as an infant I was babbling a lot. Though I do know, and it took me a series of years to discover this, but I used to hang out and study all the religions and hang out at all kinds of churches and do the traditional race Catholic and just kind of loving the good in all the churches and knowing there's something kind of messed up in all of them also. So I have a bachelor's in religious studies and I would just hang out. It's somewhere along the line. I think it was more in my twentys. I went to California. I'm in the Midwest. I'm in Wisconsin and I went to California. And there it was more open to go to meditation classes. This was in the 90s. I've been doing this for a long time. So no, that was in the 80s. That was in the 80s and so when I come back to Wisconsin, was closer to the 90s, and I had gone to these meditation classes and I started studying with this woman not far from my home here in Wisconsin who was a complete channel, what I call complete channel. She'd get these downloads but not have a clue what she said. The only way she knew what she said was she'd have to listen back to the tape recorder. Kind of like Edgar Cayce. Those of you who know Edgar Cayce, he didn't know what he was saying most of the time, things like that. So I would go to these group meetings once or twice a week and she would teach us how to use our intuitive abilities. And she'd say, look at your partner and tell them what you feel or think. And people are going, Well, I see a rose or I see a color. And I did that for a little bit and that wasn't cutting it for me. And one of these days I just said, I feel like singing this song. So I started singing, singing mine. It's nice for me to talk about after you see the example of what I just did, it makes more sense. So that was like 30 some years ago and it's so funny. Maybe a little later than that, but it was so funny. I was actually not soon after, I was going to, my husband's from a family of ten, and I remember being out with his oldest sister, who would be the least likely to be in this, and we had some event at a bar or something, some gathering, and I just decided I wanted to start singing to people in the bars. And then it's so funny because then she came up to me. And she was interested in what messages were coming through in songs too. And you never know who's going to be open to what when. And this, like I say, was many, many years ago now, and it's now more than ever. I wrote this little book called Five Sacred Minutes to Your Joyful Self and I wrote that on 11/11 of 2011. And this got sound therapy and it talks more about not so much my journey, but the basics like cutting cords and clearing contracts and what some of us consider really fundamentals for clearing energy. Well, that book wanted to come back out now, eleven years later, it's being reintroduced to the world. It's so funny. This really ages. You can tell how much things have changed because when I wrote the book, it had CDs in it. You could buy the book and you'd put in your CD and you'd listen to it. It's got these beautiful sound therapy meditations in it. Now. It's like people don't even have CD players, they're hard to come by. So I did revamp it so that now you just download the MP3s and you can just download these beautiful sound therapy things. So I was having fun with that. So somewhere back to your question. Somewhere along the line, I just knew not only that I had these gifts, but I knew that I came into this world, that I had a choice to come back here or not come back here. And that I decided to be here on this planet at this time, in this dimension, to help with the transitions that are happening right now. Right now. So I always have not a super conscious knowing, but kind of a knowing knowing that we all have this choice. It's like our soul says, do you want to go here and help? And even in my book, it's so funny, I forgot this was written in the book. But there's a line in there that says when we were asked to if we wanted to come and help at this time, we lined up by the hundreds of thousands or something....

Explore the divine light that illuminates your being and empowers you to create a life of purpose. Join us as we delve into the depths of this radiant energy and awaken the divine within you.

On this episode of the Live. Love. Engage. podcast:

Why it's important to recognize the divine light within you

How to apply the L.O.V.E. Method lessons to your life

What the Daily Word has to say about divine light, and much more!

Related Live. Love. Engage. episodes you may enjoy:

What it Means to Let Go and Let God

I share what letting go and letting God is the path to having more peace, joy and prosperity in your life.

Receiving God’s Grace

What it means to open your heart to receive God’s grace and why you’d want to receive it in the first place.

Valuing Your Uniqueness

The problem with not valuing our own uniqueness, and downplaying our worth.

Embrace Your Divinity

Why it’s important to recognize that you are a spiritual being and what it means to embrace your divinity.

Resources

Subscribe to the Daily Word here

Join the Soulful Women's Network here

Send me a message here

Support the podcast here

❤ Love this episode? Leave us a review and rating here

Connect with Gloria: LinkedIn | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter

Empower yourself to understand and appreciate diversity and inclusivity with Abbey Research's help, and learn to human better.

Show Notes | Transcript

"We are smarter than our brains, I promise. We can be. And so that's what empathy is. Kind of rewriting your brain to be curious about yourself, about the reactions you have, about the way you see the world. Be curious about other people and ask more questions and make less assumptions." - Kristen Donnelly

Kristen Donnelly is an award-winning four-time TEDx speaker, international empathy educator and researcher with two decades of experience in helping people understand the beauty in difference and the power in inclusivity. She is also the COO of Abbey Research, co-founder of the Community Research Institute, and a regular contributor to Forbes, Medium and Thrive Global. She now works to help others understand how to human better and create a more inclusive world.

On this episode of the Live. Love. Engage. podcast:

How we can learn to be more empathetic and practice empathy as a muscle

What Kristen means by the phrase "to human better"

What we can learn from art to better understand and relate to other people

How we can foster diversity and inclusivity in our organizations and societies

How Kristen became interested in empathy and its importance in fostering better relations

Kristen shares specific professional and personal examples of how to practice empathy

What human beings have in common with cucumbers

Connect with Kristen

Website: ARGoodDoctors.com

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How to Embrace Diversity in the Workplace with Omar L. Harris

Omar L. Harris talks about his book, “Be a J.E.D.I. Leader, Not a Boss: Leadership in the Era of Corporate Social Justice, Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion” and why now is the time for leaders to embrace new principles.

Compassion and Empathy for All

In this episode, I talk about the need for empathy in the wake of the brutal George Floyd murder.

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TRANSCRIPT

Gloria Grace Rand

Namaste and welcome back to another edition out of Live Love Engage. I am delighted to be with you as always and to have a guest with us on the show today. And her name is Kristen Donnelly and she is an award winning, four time TEDx speaker, international empathy educator and researcher with two decades of experience in helping people understand the beauty in difference and the power in inclusivity. And she is one of the good doctors of Abbey Research, COO of their parent company, co-founder of the Community Research Institute, and an unapologetic nerd for stories of change. And she's also a regular contributor to Forbes, Medium and Thrive Global. So welcome to live love engage. Kristen

Kristen Donnelly

well, thank you so much for having me. It's a delight.

Gloria Grace Rand

I am looking forward to learning more about you and especially about this topic of empathy, which is one that it needs talking about because it seems to be in short supply in our world today, at least in certain circles, let's put it that way. So I'd love to start off with asking our guests about their journey and about how they got to where they are today. So I thought I'd ask you what got you interested in being an international empathy educator?

Kristen Donnelly

It's a great question because the answer, in all honesty, is my entire life. So, briefly to explain how we speak about empathy at Abbey Research, empathy is the consistent, intentional decision to choose understanding over assumptions of yourself and other people. It has nothing to do with feeling other people's feelings or kind of reading other people's emotions. That's a separate skill set. And instead, empathy is a muscle we can all develop, a worldview we can all live by. And in that way I've been raised into an empathetic worldview in a lot of ways. My family has. We've owned a business since I was seven and the mission statement of that business is to impact lives and create wealth. And the idea is holistic wealth. How do we meet people where they are and provide them with resources, training, employment opportunities, whatever they need to live their best version of themselves? And in that pursuit, I have been constantly reminded that different people are different, that what I would want for somebody is not necessarily what they want for themselves. That the way I define family, is not the way they do that, all those kind of things. And that has always led me.

My father is a business person and Abbey Research that I run now is a division of our family company that my brother and I have now taken over for our dad. But for my entire life my dad preached that really all you need to have to run a successful business is to know how to balance a spreadsheet and to have insatiable curiosity. And if you can do those two things, you can pretty much run a business. As long as those kinds of things keep happening. You're curious about the people you employ. You're curious about your numbers. You're curious about your product. You just keep asking questions. And we've kind of taken that.

I took that and then added my social science degrees. I have a PhD. I have a social work. I have an MSW. And I have a degree in cross cultural religious anthropology. And when I kind of combine all of those things, what I really learned is that humans are so similar and so wildly different. And one of the things that makes all of us work is the fact that we want to be seen, heard and understood. But innately, we're terrified to see, hear, and understand other people because of our survival instincts that are hardwired in us. But we are smarter than our brains, I promise. We can be. And so that's what empathy is, is kind of rewriting your brain to be curious about yourself, about the reactions you have, about the way you see the world. Be curious about other people and ask more questions and make less assumptions.

Gloria Grace Rand

Wow, I love that definition, and I love your dad. Also in formulize, I suppose, for what makes a business successful too. I've never heard it explained with the curiosity factor in there. But it makes so much sense to think about because it really does. You have to be curious about what's going on, what's going on in the market, what's going on with your customers, what do they need, what do your employees need? And I can see where then the empathy no empathy muscle I was trying to put those two words together will come in handy. And in fact, you actually say that empathy is mandatory. So why, why do you believe that?

Kristen Donnelly

Because I usually joke, like, I gesture wildly to the planet and be like, not having empathy has gotten us here. But I think it goes back to what I said kind of at the end there, that everybody craves to be understood because we crave to be known, and we crave to be safe, and we crave to be in all those kind of things. We are biologically meant to live in community, and the culture doesn't really work in community. Rhythms these days. We’re hyper individualized and hyper siloed And so that has fed our fear of the unknown, that has kind of fed anything that looks different is wrong. Anybody who doesn't agree with me is evil or dumb or stupid. And at the same time, our biological imperatives are like, but we need people. And so we're kind of at this culture war within ourselves of anything that's different than me is wrong. But I desperately need people. And the problem is, if we're really honest, everybody is different.

And so we start creating these weird hierarchies of like, okay, well, I can tolerate that difference, but I can't tolerate that difference. And that person voted different than me, which means they're evil. And I can't know them and that person's a different religion, which means they're going to hell. So I can't know them. And we've done all of these weird things when truly the way that we function best is to understand our limited control over other people. I.e. we have none. And that's so much of the result of empathy. So the more you practice empathy, the more you choose to understand rather than assume, the more you truly realize your place in the universe, that you are important, but you are not imperative, that you have a lot of power but very little control. And that we have to work together to make those kind of things happen.

And I use the example a lot of American politics to be completely honest because it's the thing the question we get the most as empathy educators is especially you and I are speaking in the middle of October of 2022. If I see one more political ad on my television, I'm going to throw a shoe. It's just so, so much. And I lived in the UK for years and television advertisements aren't allowed there. And if state by magic wand change everything, I'd make the election season six weeks long with no television advertisements. That would be my answer. But anyway, a huge kind of part of this is that it's very easy to assume a lot of things and it's also very easy to get frustrated over things you cannot control. There are many politicians, elected officials of this nation that I would rather throat punch than have speak for me in a court of law. And yet my fellow citizens voted for them. I don't live in their constituency. I have no power over that. I have absolutely no control over who they vote for.

And so if you really think about the republic that we live in, it's a great lesson in what you can and cannot control. However,...

Do you strive for perfectionism when doing a task or do you strive to always do you best instead? Trying to be perfect can lead to procrastination, anxiety and depression. Not exactly a recipe for success! It's also the focus of this week's show as we conclude talking about Don Miguel Ruiz's book, "The Four Agreements."

On this episode of the Live. Love. Engage. Podcast:

A recap of the first three agreements in Don Miguel Ruiz's book

Why it doesn't pay to be perfect

How always doing your best is a form of self-care

Lessons on doing your best from Unity's Daily Word magazine

How the L.O.V.E. Method can also help you do your best

A light language message for your soul

Resources

Light Language Divine Unity Documentary

The Four Agreements: Buy on Amazon

Quick Links:

Contact Gloria

Join the Live. Love. Engage. Community

Spiritual Alignment Coaching

The Live. Love. Engage. Book

Support the Podcast with BuyMeACoffee.com

Enjoying what you're hearing on Live. Love. Engage.? Subscribe on Goodpods or your favorite podcast platform, and leave us a review on Podchaser or Apple. You can also watch the conversation on YouTube.

Take the Leap and Grow Your Business with 95-98% Satisfaction: One Woman's Story of Taking Control and Not Looking Back.

When Dr. Barnsley Brown, an outspoken female professor, discovers the abuse of power of a potential tenure track professorship and a cheating partner on the same day, she courageously turns them both down and starts her own business with only $1,000 and 'a lot of boobs, not a lot of balls' to face the big moments of failure and discouragement that come with it.

"It was just really a moment where the thing that I had prepared for with 25 years of education... I found that it wasn't going to be the fit I wanted, and I wanted to be 95% to 98% happy in what I did, and I wanted to use all my skills. I didn't want to have to pigeonhole myself into one little scholarly rabbit hole. I was never good at that." - Dr. Barnsley Brown

Dr. Barnsley Brown is a self-proclaimed steel magnolia who taught at Wake Forest University, Duke and UNC Chapel Hill before launching her coaching business, Spirited Solutions. She now helps big hearted business owners double, triple, quadruple, or more their income and impact.

On this episode of the Live. Love. Engage. podcast:

Dr. Barnsley Brown's experience of leaving a tenure-track professorship offer to start her own business.

Reiki as a tool for physical healing and business growth.

The power of setting a timeline and clearly defining goals to achieve success.

The tragic lesson Barnsley learned that changed how she handles enrollment conversations.

What questions to ask a coach to see if they're a good fit for you and your business

Connect with Dr. Brown

Website: Spirited-Solutions.com

Quick Links:

Join the Live. Love. Engage. Community

Intuitive Business Coaching

The Live. Love. Engage. Book

Support the Podcast with BuyMeACoffee.com

Enjoying what you're hearing on Live. Love. Engage.? Subscribe on Goodpods or your favorite podcast platform, and click here to leave a 5 STAR Review. You can also watch the conversation on YouTube.

TRANSCRIPT

Gloria Grace Rand

00:00:00

You're listening to the Live Love Engage podcast on today's show, why it pays to invest in your professional growth. Stay tuned. I am Gloria Grace Rand, founder of The Love Method and author of the number one Amazon bestseller, Live Love Engage - How to Stop Doubting Yourself and Start Being Your Yourself. In this podcast, we share practical advice from a spiritual perspective on how to live fully, love deeply, and engage authentically so you can create a life and business with more impact, influence, and income. Welcome to Live. Love. Engage.

00:00:47

Namaste. I am Gloria Grace Rand, and so happy to be with you again for another edition of Live Love Engage, and especially when I get to talk with interesting and amazing people on the show, and today is no exception. I am delighted to welcome Dr. Barnsley Brown to Live. Love. Engage.

Dr. Barnsley Brown

00:01:13

Thank you, Gloria. It's so wonderful to be here with your folks and just to share a powerful message with some strategies that people can implement. So exciting.

Gloria Grace Rand

00:01:24

Absolutely. Well, let me let folks know the few out there who may not have heard of you before, so we'll enlighten them today. So Dr. Brown is a self proclaimed steel magnolia in a long line of strong Southern women who taught at Wake Forest University, Duke and UNC Chapel Hill before launching Spirited Solutions Professional Speaking and Coaching over 22 years ago. And she now helps big-hearted business owners double, triple, quadruple or more, their income and impact in her Make It Happen Mastermind group coaching program. Get Results Now laser coaching and transformational Reiki trainings. I almost got to say treatments, but kind of be that way a little bit. And for those of you who are listening to the podcast and you don't see, she also calls herself a kickass coach. So maybe I'll ask you about that in a little bit. But I always do like to start off talking about our guest's background a little bit, and I thought we'd start with especially what led you to make the transition from speaking at or well, teaching, teaching at universities to launching your own coaching company?

Dr. Barnsley Brown

00:02:42

I love the question, Gloria, and it's, it's a powerful question because actually, you know, I would say that at the university, I was about 75% satisfied. I mean, I really enjoyed it. I really enjoyed the young people. It was mostly young people at the schools where I taught, and I enjoyed the scholarship, the reading, the publishing, the presenting. But the thing I didn't enjoy so much were well, the things I didn't enjoy were the ways that women faculty were treated, for example, especially outspoken women faculty, of which I was one. I also didn't appreciate the way that the canons were formed to, and I taught literature and women's studies, so I did not appreciate the fact that the writers I considered central were considered marginal. And I just got to a point, really, I reached a point, Gloria, where I had been made what would have been the tenure track professorship offer of my dreams. And on the very day I found out that the job and the guy were cheating on me - just say. An abuse of power with the potential job and the guy as well. And I turned both down on the same day and started my own business. And that was August of the year 2000. I went and got my business registration, and I registered it because it's important what the birthday of your business is, and this is interesting. It was September 11 of the year 2000, one year before the Twin Towers came down. So that's how I started. And really at that moment in my life, I'll be candid, I didn't really feel like I had anything else to lose unless I had lost my mother and my brother and all my family members. It was just really a moment where the thing that I had prepared for with 25 years of education, I i just would, I found that it wasn't going to be the fit I wanted, and I wanted to be 95% to 98% happy in what I did, and I wanted to use all my skills. I didn't want to have to pigeonhole myself into one little scholarly rabbit hole. I was never good at that. Never good at that. That might surprise you, right? Never good at that. I always was interested in so many things. I still continue to be interested in so many things, and it just was not something that, that was going to work for me long term. So I made that decision, and I like to say, Gloria, I mean, I started out with $1,000, and here's what I say. I say I started out with $1,000 and a lot of boobs, not a lot of balls, because the balls didn't apply to me, and I had to make it happen. I had four mouths to feed. Granted, they were rescue animals, but I had four mouths to feed, and I was not married. I did not have a partner. I did not have a second income to fall back on. What I want to share with your listeners is really tried and true. It's proven. It's not airy fairy. It's not theoretical. These are things that I did that I had to be and do to have the success that I've had and to bring my business into over six figure range. And you can do it too. Your listeners can do it, too. But I wish I had known at that time, in the early 2000s what I know now.

Gloria Grace Rand

00:06:36

Can you share what what specifically give an example of, like, what you would have done?

Dr. Barnsley Brown

00:06:43

Oh, my goodness. I wish one of the biggest things I wish I had done relentlessly, even though it would have been a stretch, would be to get an amazing high powered coach early on in my business and to invest in that. Now I did a lot of seminars. I went to a lot of seminars that were offered through the Small Business Center. They were free. They were paid with tax money. I participated in a launching program called Good Work that was local. It was good, too, but nothing could replace a fantastic coach who made it to where I am now. Right. I needed me then, the me I am now.

Gloria Grace Rand

00:07:24

Yeah, exactly.

Dr. Barnsley Brown

00:07:26

And so I got there, but it took a lot longer. And there were some big moments of failure and discouragement, too, as part of business. Right? There's no buffer zone. We're not working for someone else, so we can't say, oh, well, that Gloria, she's so horrible. You can't really say that about yourself.

Gloria Grace Rand

00:07:49

I know. Yeah. Although sometimes we do, though, unfortunately.

Dr. Barnsley Brown

00:07:54

I saw a funny Facebook post, Gloria, that cracked me up. It said, My boss is a real asshole, only I'm self employed. That kind of hits home sometimes.

Gloria Grace Rand

00:08:09

Yeah, exactly. Well, what was one of the biggest challenges that you faced in making that transition?

Dr. Barnsley Brown

00:08:17

Boy, I'll tell you, one of the biggest was the idea of a paycheck, right? So if you've been working for someone else and you have that paycheck that arrives every other week or once a month, just the psychology of a paycheck that's coming in, that's consistent, it was hard to release that, and yet I did. And I will tell you that one of the things I did, Gloria, to soften the blow, kind of, of moving from being full time teaching to doing my business is I taught part time. I taught English as a second language with adult learners, and I really enjoyed that. They were from all over the world. Japan. Korea. Mexico. Guatemala. Peru. They were from all over. Europe. Different countries in Europe, some countries in Africa. They were from all over. And so it was very interesting. But it also didn't take me away from my work that much because I just taught a couple of evenings and a couple of mornings a week, and yet I had a paycheck that would come in. Now, granted, it wasn't that much, but it was enough to cover my mortgage at the time. So what that did because, remember,...

Have you ever had someone say to you, "Don't make assumptions"? There's a very good reason why. As my mom used to say, "Never assume - because you make an ass out of you and me." This wise lesson is also promoted in Don Miguel Ruiz's outstanding book, "The Four Agreements" which I've been focusing on during the last few shows.

On this episode of the Live. Love. Engage. Podcast:

A recap of the first two agreements in Don Miguel Ruiz's book

How to engage authentically, without making assumptions

Why authentic communication is beneficial

How the first three agreements all build on one another

Lessons on communicating from Unity's Daily Word

A light language message for your soul

Quick Links:

Contact Gloria

Join the Live. Love. Engage. Community

Spiritual Alignment Coaching

The Live. Love. Engage. Book

Support the Podcast with BuyMeACoffee.com

Enjoying what you're hearing on Live. Love. Engage.? Subscribe on Goodpods or your favorite podcast platform, and leave us a review on Podchaser or Apple. You can also watch the conversation on YouTube.