Design Your Life, Your Way - Strategic Growth for the Conscious Midlife Entrepreneur

Have you ever considered that your deepest pain could lead to powerful personal growth? In this enlightening episode, I sit down with Craig Perra, founder of the Mindful Habit system, to explore the profound wisdom in our emotional wounds that can be revealed through self-leadership.

Show Notes | Transcript

"The deeper the wound, the greater the healing. And so your greatest pain becomes your greatest teacher." - Craig Perra

Craig shares his inspiring journey from the depths of addiction and self-destruction to becoming a renowned life coach. His story is a testament to the transformative power of compassion, both from others and ourselves.

"All behavior is need-seeking behavior," Craig reveals, offering a perspective-shifting insight that challenges our traditional views of "good" and "bad" habits. This understanding forms the foundation of his approach to healing and personal transformation.

In this episode, you'll discover how to:

How to recognize and communicate with different parts of yourself

The surprising truth about anger and other 'negative' emotions

Practical techniques for using mindfulness to navigate triggering situations

Why breathing and gratitude are more powerful than you might think

Key insights include:

The Internal Family Systems model and its application in personal growth

How our habits and patterns often stem from childhood experiences

The importance of curiosity and compassion in self-leadership

Why connection is crucial for overcoming addiction and emotional challenges

Whether you're grappling with personal challenges, seeking to understand your emotional responses better, or looking to support a loved one through difficult times, this conversation offers valuable insights and practical strategies for growth and healing.

Tune in to learn how embracing all parts of yourself - even the ones you've labeled as "bad" - can lead to profound personal transformation and a more fulfilling life.

Connect with Craig

Website: mindfulhabithelp.com

Podcast: Sex Afflictions and Porn Addictions

Resources:

Join the Soulful Women's Network here

Receive daily inspirational email messages: bit.ly/LoveLightNotes

Need support? Go to engagewithgloria.com to schedule a call.

Connect with Live Love Engage:

Send Gloria Grace a message

☕ Support the podcast

❤ Love this episode? Leave us a review and rating

LinkedIn: Gloria Grace Rand

Facebook: Gloria Grace Rand

YouTube: Gloria Grace Rand

TRANSCRIPT

Gloria Grace Rand

Have you ever considered how the pain of betrayal could actually become the catalyst for your most powerful transformation? Well, today's conversation with our guest is going to dive deep into healing those invisible wounds so that you're able to reclaim your self worth and turn your journey of self love into a beacon of inspiration for others. But before we get there, I do want to welcome those of you who are maybe new to the podcast or welcome those of you who are wonderful subscribers. I want to welcome you back. And for those who are new, I am Gloria Grace, the founder of Align to Shine Academy. And I work with spiritually minded women entrepreneurs, help them to break free from self doubt and really, really step into their highest potential. And part of that is dealing with some of the things we're going to be talking about today. So in just a moment, I'm going to bring on Craig Perra, who is the founder of the Mindful Habit system. And Craig overcame his own mental health struggles and addictions to become a renowned life coach. And as a global leader in breaking self destructive habits, Craig's transformative approach blends mindfulness, self leadership and actionable strategies, empowering millions to create healthier, more fulfilling lives. So I can't wait to hear what he has to say on this subject. I hope you can't either. So without further ado, let me bring him up here and welcome you, Craig, officially to Live Love Engage.

Craig Perra

Thank you, Gloria. It's a privilege to be here. Namaste. Right back at you. I'm happy to be here. Look forward to this conversation we're going to have today.

Gloria Grace Rand

Yeah, absolutely, me too. And, and I know it's, you know, I guess we don't like to necessarily talk about, you know, having emotional wounds and things like that, but it does actually affect our, you know, behavior and, and it can affect our work and our family life. And I mentioned in your bio that you deal with self leadership and so I'm curious to know how that actually plays a role in the healing process. And yeah, we're going to start there and then I got a follow up question, but we'll start there.

Craig Perra

Yeah, no, great question. So self leadership is a term that comes from at least these two places that I'll talk about. So first is from a professional development leadership training, positive psychology, this notion of making proactive decisions, owning the outcome, you know, responsibility for what's happening in your life. So there's the leadership aspect of self leadership. That's also a term that has been embraced by the internal family systems model. And that's Essentially an evidence based, neuroscientifically sound behavior change modality referenced in popular culture in the Pixar movie Inside out, which is essentially leading the different parts of you to create positive outcomes. So for example, in our betrayed trauma work, there's a part that maybe gets angry and feels resentful for the choices that in my line of work that the husband made, to lie, to cheat, to know, keep a secret porn life. And so it's, it's essentially leading those parts to create positive outcomes. And it's a, it's a term that I love. It really is on the positive side. And, and I, that's my thing. I really try to focus on the positive side, strengthen the positive to, you know, strengthen the negative. So that's, that's basically what that term means.

Gloria Grace Rand

Well, I, I appreciate that and I love the example of, of Inside out, you know, that wonderful movie too, that I think that that helps to make things a little bit more relatable. So I appreciate you sharing that. So what's one practical technique that someone could start implementing today with regards to self leadership in I, I guess maybe either of those formats or both.

Craig Perra

So before the technique, it's really important to understand that in the internal family systems model and using basic self leadership principles that, let's take for an example, a spouse who is angry at her husband for the choices he's made, destroyed the family, kept sexual secrets, there is a deep, deep, deep sense of betrayal, trauma. And there's often a resentful part, there's often an angry part. And, and before we get to the technique, the insight that I want to share is that these parts, although perceived as bad or destructive or, or harmful to a, A, you know, a healthy reunion, the reality is that these parts are trying to protect you. In fact, the name for these types of parts in the internal family systems model is a protector. So anger is a protector. Anger is trying to protect the partner from making the same mistake. Again for trusting when she shouldn't trust, for the fear of letting her guard down. That angry part keeps her vigilant, for example. And so I, I think it's really important to understand that this behavior, although causing distress to the central nervous system, dysregulation, high blood pressure, heart issues, over time, that's the damage that stress and anxiety and anger can do. But they are serving a purpose and they are meeting needs. Self leadership requires you to understand the needs that these parts are meeting so you can lead that part to a healthy outcome. If that makes sense.

Gloria Grace Rand

Oh yeah, I love that, and, and, and it's. I so appreciate you doing that to, to explain because, yeah, so often we really do think that, oh, you know, anger is this, you know, emotion that we, you know, we have, but we don't necessarily, you know, sometimes we really do categorize it as bad, you know, and it's like, and I know that, like, and I'm just thinking back to, to my mom that, who had a lot of anger with my dad because he was an alcoholic. And so she would, you know, naturally, you don't like being married to someone who's involved in that. And so she had a lot of anger. But I can, but I also understand and can appreciate how that could be a protective mechanism. I never really thought about it that way, but it really is, you know, because it is, it's kind of, you know, protecting your heart because it's already been wounded once and you don't want to get it, continue to have that, you know, make it make it worse, you know, to really inflict more damage. So I appreciate that. Thank you so much. So how can then someone start kind of moving into, you know, using self leadership to say, okay, yes, I know I'm angry and I'm trying to protect myself, but I don't want to stay anger angry because as you said, it can really cause a lot of physical harm to the body.

Craig Perra

Yes. And so just like leadership requires us to lead, we might lead Johnny on our team and Karen on our team very differently. They have different needs, they have different desires, different goals. So I'm going to lead these two people on my team very differently. And one of the first things that people can do, which is a wonderful technique and it sounds absolutely crazy, but there is a lot of data to support the efficacy or effectiveness of talking to yourself in the third person. So one of the techniques that we have, and let's say we've got a partner who's resentful or angry or they're constantly ruminating, they're wondering, is he doing this, is he doing that? That part is trying to protect them. And, and one of the first things we do before we get to, you know,...

Are you ready to break free from the people-pleasing trap that has you constantly saying "yes" to clients who drain your energy? If so, join me for this empowering episode where you'll learn how to market with integrity and set healthy boundaries that honor your worth and fuel business growth.

Show Notes | Transcript

"No is a complete sentence. You are allowed to say no gracefully." - Gloria Grace Rand

As a recovering people-pleaser myself, I understand the challenges of setting limits in business. I open up about my own journey, including how life transitions can sometimes knock us off course and reignite old patterns. But I've learned that boundaries are not just self-care – they're essential for attracting aligned clients and preventing burnout.

Discover how to:

Recognize the signs of people-pleasing in your marketing and client relationships

Implement practical boundaries to protect your time and energy

Attract aligned clients who respect your worth and value your services

Market authentically from a place of confidence and self-respect

Key insights include:

Why your life experience is actually your competitive advantage

How to handle objections without desperation or compromising your value

The importance of creating content from a high-vibe state

Why it's okay to pause your marketing during major life transitions

I also introduce you to the transformative power of light language, a unique sound healing modality that can help clear blocks and strengthen your "boundary muscles." You'll experience a brief light language transmission designed to boost your confidence and self-worth.

Whether you're struggling with undercharging, over-explaining your value, or simply feeling drained by misaligned clients, this episode offers compassionate guidance and practical strategies. Tune in to start setting healthy boundaries, honoring your value, and attracting the clients you're truly meant to serve!

Resources:

*I apologize, but the bit.ly link I mentioned in the podcast for a free 15 minute light language session doesn't work. This is the correct one:

Schedule a free Light Language session: bit.ly/lightlanguage15

Join the Soulful Women's Network here

Receive daily inspirational email messages: bit.ly/LoveLightNotes

Need support? Go to engagewithgloria.com to schedule a call.

Connect with Live Love Engage:

Send Gloria Grace a message

☕ Support the podcast

❤ Love this episode? Leave us a review and rating

LinkedIn: Gloria Grace Rand

Facebook: Gloria Grace Rand

YouTube: Gloria Grace Rand

TRANSCRIPT

Namaste. If you've ever found yourself saying yes to clients who drain your energy, this episode is your permission slip to do things differently because I'm going to be sharing some practical tools to help you to market authentically, as well as sharing some light language with you to strengthen your boundary muscles and help you develop renewed confidence in your own own innate worthiness. But first, I do want to officially welcome you to Live Love Engage. I am Gloria Grace, founder of align to Shine Academy, and I empower women over 50 to overcome life's challenges so they can embrace who they are, lead boldly, and shine their light in the world. And I hope that you are one of those lovely women who are listening or watching this podcast on YouTube right now. And I'm just going to even put in an early plug if not subscribed already. Make sure that you subscribe on your favorite podcast platform or on YouTube so you'll be connected with us. So yeah, this is, you know, boundaries. Sometimes we don't set boundaries because we are trying to please people and instead of pleasing ourselves. And I know that I've definitely experienced this in the past where I have been that people pleaser. And it even came up again, you know, I thought I sort of was having it handled and then, you know, when life throws you new challenges, it can come up again. And so I think the last time that I was really involved in this was shortly after my sister passed. I was in a coaching program at the time and you know, lovely, lovely coaches that were, they were helping me and, and they were really focusing at the time and helping me to choose a niche for. At the time it was really, I was still focused on doing copywriting and I, you know, went along with these recommendations even though my heart really wasn't in it. And I just felt like I was just throwing darts at a wall, you know, and nothing, nothing was sticking. And as a result, you know, for me and certainly for lots of other people who are people pleasers in business, then I was attracting clients that didn't really, they were misaligned, frankly. And I also, and was undercharging for my services and I'd been doing that for a very long time, frankly. And it just, I wasn't really sharing my authentic voice. And also being a people pleaser can really lead to a lot of resentment and burnout if you're not careful.

So let's, let's talk about how this shows up in your marketing in particular, so it can be where you are over explaining what your value is and As I mentioned, undercharging for services for sure, and even apologizing for them, you know, when you are, let's say someone, you know, wants to, wants to hire you, but they feel that you were too expensive, then you might say, well, you know, yeah, I'm sorry. Or, you know, you, you might actually wind up lowering your prices in order to get that client when you need to be standing your ground and saying, no, this is my price. And if, you know, and, and there's other ways that you can handle someone who comes at you with, with that, you know, saying, oh, you're too expensive, well, you can offer them maybe something else of value and say, well, you know, maybe throw in a bonus, for instance, and also explain to them that the cost of not taking action, you know, could actually wind up costing them more in the long run. And so it's actually, your service might be really very affordable when they look, when they look at it from that perspective. So it's, you know, also part of it is maybe you're posting content that again, doesn't really align with you. And I know I have been guilty of that in the past where I was trying too hard to follow other people's examples and not really own the truth of who I am and to speak from the heart. And I've definitely do that now. I much prefer speaking from the heart and I encourage you to do that. And that's what I work with my clients on doing as well. So, speaking of clients, how does people pleasing and not having boundaries show up there? Well, I tell you, it's accepting boundary pushes, like, for instance, not, not establishing criteria of, say, okay, I'm going to be available between X and Y time and I'm not going to be available on the weekends. Let's say, you know, unless it's a, you know, a really dire emergency. And, you know, and then you could say, okay, well, you could, you could text me then, but it's really got to be an emergency. So not setting those boundaries can have you working all the time, you know, and, you know, these wonderful phones of ours, they're, they're great, but sometimes we just become really too tied to them and that can be a problem. And I, and I actually have, I've got a lovely testimonial I think I've got on my YouTube channel from, from a client. And this was when I was still doing mainly copywriting and that she, she raved about how I was always available to her. Yeah. Because I wasn't setting clear boundaries. I didn't set that at the outset of our relationship to say, okay, you can contact me. You know, I'll be available to you on these days, between these hours and you know, so you're, you're welcome to contact me then. Otherwise, you know, if it's not an emergency, you know, if it's after hours, I'll get back to you the next day. And I didn't do that. And in my efforts to be, you know, to please my client, I was putting too much stress on myself. So that's, that can happen.

You know, again, maybe it's, it can also show up where you're doing. Yeah, you're doing like extra work maybe beyond the scope of what you originally signed up to do without charging extra for that. I, I had a quote in, or I had a little clause in my contract when I would, when I was working with copywriting clients, I did put that in to say, if this goes beyond the, the scope, then we're going to have to, I'm going to have to charge you extra. So I did learn that lesson also. It's avoiding difficult conversations, perhaps not even, you know, realizing that you've got a client that is just not a joy to work with, let's put it that way. A client who is draining your energy and, and it's just not worth it. And, and I'll again, I'll share an example from when I was a copyright. Well, I'll do copywriting and also coaching. So. But early on in my copywriting career, I had a lovely gentleman who wanted my help to help him website to be able to up there on Google, who wanted me to help him promote his business. And I get. And he would, you know, ask me to meet in person over coffee and we would strategize and then he wouldn't implement what I recommended. And it really started to be extremely frustrating with me, for me, I should say, because, you know, I was trying to be a nice person and trying to help him, you know, and give him all these great ideas. And then he was taking me away from other clients because I had to go. I had to drive somewhere and meet him in person. And so finally I just had to let him go. And then I've also had in coaching options or situations where I was, I was working with a client who again, just rejected everything that I was. Every recommendation, she's like, oh, I've tried that. Oh, no, that doesn't work. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. And as I was on, and this was, I was on a phone call with Her. And even just now I'm remembering this, it was like my stomach started to like really tighten up in

If you think the idea of harnessing goddess energy to achieve financial abundance seems too "out there," I invite you to keep an open mind while listening to this episode. Today's guest believes it's time to bridge the gap between spirituality and money. We dive deep into why many of us struggle to reconcile our spiritual beliefs with financial abundance, and how shifting this perspective can lead to profound personal and professional growth.

Show Notes | Transcript

"It's fun to work with goddess energy. (The Goddess) Lakshmi calls for us to be balanced around giving and receiving, and to value ourselves, and that's hugely important." - Mikelann Valterra

Financial therapist and master money coach Mikelann Valterra joins me to explain how treating money as part of your spiritual journey can transform both your business and your relationship with wealth. Together, we unpack the concept of "noble poverty" and why it's crucial to release this limiting belief to fully embrace your potential for abundance.

Discover how to:

Reframe your relationship with money as a spiritual practice

Overcome the "money fog" that keeps you from financial clarity

Align your spending habits with your deepest values

Embrace abundance without compromising your spiritual integrity

Key insights include:

The importance of addressing emotional and mental toxicity around money

How to beautify your relationship with money through simple, practical steps

The power of seeking positive money role models to shift your perspective

Why simplifying your financial accounts can lead to greater peace and clarity

Mikelann also introduces us to the concept of financial therapy and shares how treating money as a sacred tool can help us live our best life and live out our values. 

Whether you're a spiritual entrepreneur struggling to price your services or simply looking to create a more conscious connection with your finances, this conversation offers valuable insights on integrating money into your spiritual practice. Tune in to start your journey towards a more abundant, aligned, and purposeful life!

Connect with Mikelann

Website: seattlemoneycoach.com

Resources:

Join the Soulful Women's Network here

Receive daily inspirational email messages: bit.ly/LoveLightNotes

Need support? Go to engagewithgloria.com to schedule a call.

Connect with Live Love Engage:

Send Gloria Grace a message

☕ Support the podcast

❤ Love this episode? Leave us a review and rating

LinkedIn: Gloria Grace Rand

Facebook: Gloria Grace Rand

YouTube: Gloria Grace Rand

TRANSCRIPT

Gloria Grace Rand

Namaste. If you've been keeping your bank account and your spiritual practice in kind of separate boxes, you may want to rethink that strategy, especially after you listen to today's episode because our guest is going to explain why treating money as part of part of your spiritual journey can actually transform both your business and your relationship with wealth. And I think anything we can do to enhance that is a good thing. So first, though, before I bring her on, because I know it's going to be amazing, I do want to welcome you to Live Love Engage, especially if this is your first time joining us. I am Gloria Grace, the founder of Align to Shine Academy, and I work with spiritually minded women entrepreneurs to break free from self doubt so they can step into their highest potential. And part of that is going to be, you know, owning our relationship with wealth. So let me tell you about today's guest. Her name is Mikelann Valterra and she's an author, a speaker, a financial therapist, and master money coach. And I just got struck by that financial therapist. I'm going to ask her about that. That's an interesting way to look at things. We've had yoga therapists on the show before now. I don't think I've had a financial therapist, but anyway, she helps women rise above the money fog, transform their relationship with money, and design their ideal life. And I'm all about that. So let's bring her on now. And I want to welcome you, Mikelann, to Live Love Engage.

Mikelann Valterra

I am so happy to be here, Grace. Thank you. I love listening to your show. It's very fun to be here.

Gloria Grace Rand

Well, thank you. I appreciate that. And I think before I want to, I know I want to dive into, like, why money and spirituality are separate, but I won't really. I'm intrigued because that, it's like I have, I'd read your bio a couple times, but it was like, for today, for whatever reason, I must be in that zone. Financial therapy. What? Why do you call yourself that?

Mikelann Valterra

What is that? Yeah, well, so I'll back up and put it in the context of money coaching. So I have been a money coach for 25, five years, believe it or not, and which is a crazy amount of time given that coaching has been around, maybe not a long time. And many people nowadays talk about money coaching, but I was one of the first in the country to get into money coaching. And so it used to be that people would see financial planner if they had questions on investments, maybe a credit counselor if they were struggling with debt. But the Truth is, Grace, most of us have both. You know, we want to build net worth. We don't want to go into credit card debt. And neither of those fields is particularly adept at the emotional side of money. And so, you know, we need both. So money coaches. Absolutely. Look at, you know. Yes. How do you plan and track money and how do you create a cash flow plan so that you feel totally in control of your money? And, you know, all these wonderful things that we may tiptoe around a little bit today, and few things are as emotional as money. You know, anyone says that money is not emotional, I think is, is a robot. Right. So, you know, financial therapy is looking at the emotional and psychological side of money. And what is the impact of our relationship to money on our life? What is our personal money personality type? What are our motivations around money that impact what we do around money? And you know, a lot of your listeners might be more familiar with the term money mindset. Right. What is your money mindset, which is just a newer, more modern way of talking about your personal financial psychology. And what we think about money has a huge impact on what we do with money. It's not just about learn what to do. What we think and believe has a massive impact on our relationship to money. And it's going to come out in, in what we're talking about today, which is spirituality and money.

Gloria Grace Rand

Yeah, it's, this is a subject that really hits home with me. In fact, I was actually having a discussion with a friend not too, not too long ago today about, about this, and it was sort of bringing up some stuff. Even though I've done a lot of work around this subject, there's always still layers to be unpacked and, and still some, you know, beliefs and things that are under the surface. So we'll probably get to that in a little bit. But let's, let's, let's dive into why is it that we feel that money and spirituality, I guess, why are they separate? Maybe even why? I think a lot of people feel that they really need to be separate.

Mikelann Valterra

Yeah. Boy, that is such a great question. A great place to start. And it's also, it's also a complicated one. Right. So many people I know, like my clients, like yours, are very, very spiritually minded. And so sometimes there's this feeling of is money going to taint the process? Right. If I bring up money, does that hurt my ability to truly help people? And so that, that can be a piece of it, which would be, you know, interesting to dig into. But, but I also think that for as much as people talk about holism and holistic being, we still treat money very, very separate. You know, we. We do talk a lot about, you know, spirit versus matter, and we so want to live lives that are more connected and more holistic. But the reality is so many of us put money on the material side. And because we see money as so, so material and of this world, we think that anything having to do with money will hurt or taint or cause harm to the spiritual world. And even yet, isn't it interesting, Grace? I mean, we, we give so much thought to our spiritual natures. Why do we want to separate money? You know, we want our relationship to money to help us grow spiritually, but we tend to ignore it when it comes to anything having to do with looking at our spiritual lives.

Gloria Grace Rand

Yeah. And we tend to forget. And this is something I've learned in working with actually different money coaches and things over the years, is that, you know, we call money currency, which is related to energy. So it's not really material as you're talking about, is it? It's really energy. So how can, you know, how can, can that help us to, you know, start to be able to reframe our relationship with money if we can start really owning that possibility that, that money is just this energy tool that's out there.

Mikelann Valterra

100 percent. Yeah, 100 percent. I mean, money. I mean, you're right. Money is energy, and we can do anything with money. And, you know, it was interesting. I was talking to someone earlier today. Money makes you more of who you already are, you know, so if you're a kind and wonderful generous person and you win the lottery, you're going to become more generous. If you weren't a very nice person and you win the lottery, well, guess what? That's going to magnify that. So money can magnify who you already are. So it's not about the money. It's about, you know, who am I? What are my values? And the more you dig into your relationship to money, the more you can start to ask, how can I use money to live out my values? How can I use money to support my spiritual practice in the world? Right. And we can see it in a lot of different ways....

Empowering women over 50 to step confidently in front of the camera is more crucial than ever in today's video-driven marketplace. If you've been hesitating to "seize the spotlight," you're not alone. Many women face challenges like ageism, self-doubt, and digital overwhelm when it comes to video marketing. But have you ever stopped to consider that the world is missing out on your wisdom and expertise?

Show Notes | Transcript

"Treat the camera as a friend and imagine that you are talking to just one person." - Gloria Grace Rand

In this solo episode, I share my personal journey from camera-shy copywriter to confident on-screen presence, offering valuable insights on how you can overcome your fears and shine on video. As the founder of Align to Shine Academy, I've learned firsthand the power of embracing vulnerability and authenticity in business.

Discover how to:

Confront your fears and build confidence on camera

Overcome digital overwhelm and embrace technology at your own pace

Handle mistakes gracefully and use them to connect with your audience

Nurture self-compassion when life's challenges interfere with your business

Key insights include:

Why women over 50 are a powerful demographic in the business world

The importance of showing up authentically to stand out from competitors

How to use video marketing to establish yourself as a go-to expert

The role of alternative healing modalities in overcoming unconscious blocks

I also introduce you to the transformative power of light language, a unique sound healing technique that can help you break through unconscious barriers and connect with your authentic self. You'll even experience a brief light language session designed to support your journey towards on-camera confidence.

Whether you're struggling with self-doubt or simply looking for ways to enhance your video presence, this episode offers practical strategies and compassionate guidance. Tune in to start your journey towards confident on-camera appearances and watch your business thrive!

Resources:

Schedule a personalized 30-minute Light Language session: bit.ly/LLEpodcast30

Join the Soulful Women's Network https://www.facebook.com/groups/soulfulwomensnetwork

Receive daily inspirational email messages: bit.ly/LoveLightNotes

Need support? Go to engagewithgloria.com to schedule a call.

Connect with Live Love Engage:

Send Gloria Grace a message

☕ Support the podcast

❤ Love this episode? Leave us a review and rating

LinkedIn: Gloria Grace Rand

Facebook: Gloria Grace Rand

YouTube: Gloria Grace Rand

TRANSCRIPT

Namaste. Ageism. Self doubt. Digital overwhelm. Ah. These are just a few of the reasons why women over 50 may be hesitating to go on camera. But what if the world is missing out on their wisdom? So if this is you, I hope you will tune in and keep listening because we're going to be talking about breaking down those barriers and changing the face of entrepreneurship. But first, as always, I do want to welcome you to Live, Love Engage, especially if this is your first time joining us. I am Gloria Grace, founder of Align to Shine Academy. And I empower women over 50 to overcome life's challenges so they can embrace who they are, lead boldly, and shine their light in the world. Because we need you to do that. We need everybody to shine their light on the world no matter how, how old you are. But Since I'm over 50, I have a particular soft place in my heart for that demographic. So let's dive into this how? Well, let me tell you a little bit about my story first.

So I was not always confident to be on camera. And what's interesting is that I, my background is even in television, but I was working behind the scenes. But then when I started my business, I became an SEO copywriter. And as I was when I was starting my business, video was coming into the forefront. And so I had to get over myself and start showing up on camera, which was fine for the first few years until 2016. And that was the year that my lost my sister to cancer. And that threw me for a loop and it really, that grieving process that I went through the whole next year, almost really a couple years, but definitely that first year, I didn't want to show up on video. I didn't want to show up online, period. I mean, let alone because I used to be a blogger or a regular blogger. I would send out weekly emails. I let a lot of that stuff go. And for sure I didn't want to show up on camera. And it took me a while to finally be able to get back going again. So going to talk about this today because I really feel that you need to be out there.

I mean, let's face it, video, video is where it is. You know, you, you know, video shorts and long form video, short form video. But how can you be confident about it if, especially when, you know, life throws you a curveball. So I'm going to going to share a few ways that you can do this, including I'm going to do a special sound healing segment as well because that's a tool That I have found that's been really beneficial for myself personally as well as my clients. So video and being the face of your business, it is a powerful way for you to really demonstrate your expertise. You know, you, you get to establish yourself as the go to expert and, and which frankly lets you stand out from your competitors. Because depending on whatever your business is, you probably have a lot of competition. And if you want to be able to reach those really ideal clients that you want to serve with your whole heart and soul, then they need to be able to see you. Because the days of just putting content out online, you know, like I said I mentioned before, you know, doing, doing a blog or doing a social media post, a written post, that's all well and good and it's important and you can still do that. And adding video into the mix is, is so important because it lets people really get to know you, the real you.

And, and I know that it can still be challenging to do that because even though you want people to be able to get to know you, you know that old phrase, you know, to know like and trust somebody, they gotta see you. And of course it's good to be able to do this in person. But you can reach so many more people when you use the power of video. And whether that again is recording short videos or doing a, let's say doing a webinar or a master class or, or doing a live stream like I, I have been known to do, or recording, you know, videos and putting them up on YouTube. Remember, YouTube is like the second most popular search engine after Google, I think. Not sure that's exactly true, but people go to YouTube to find solutions. And if you have the solution to someone's problem, you want to be on YouTube, you want to have some sort of videos up there. And yes, you can do videos that don't show your face and I would include some of those as well. But showing yourself, allowing yourself to be vulnerable and be on camera no matter how old you are is really, really good. And let's talk about why. Let's talk about why you. Actually, I should say, I think I've already done that.

But let's talk about why you may not be taking advantage of video as a marketing tool. And on also why life's challenges, like grief for instance, like I mentioned at the beginning, how that can also exacerbate things, really make that self doubt you may be experiencing or even the digital overwhelm, how it can make it worse, really do that. So I mentioned at the beginning, I said Ageism. Ah, yes, yes, yes. That old, that old thing, you know, we, especially here in the west, it's, it's been such a youth focused culture that we have where that everything is geared towards or seems to be geared towards appealing to younger demographics. However, if you do research in this, you'll find that as we get older and especially women, that we have a lot more buying power. And if you are an entrepreneur over 50 and you want to even appeal to our demographic, you know, women, let's say over 40, then that is a good demographic to appeal to because they do, they have more, they have more disposable income usually. Or, and even if not, they are the ones who in a family, typically, now there's always exceptions to the rule, but typically they are the ones who are in charge of spending decisions, buying decisions. So I think I got away, I got away a little bit from ageism. Okay, so here's, here's the thing. Even though we are an important demographic and we have this buying power, we're still not always valued by the overall culture. And so because of that, it reinforces this idea somehow that we are less relevant. And it can make self promotion feel daunting. And then you add into it, you know, when you're trying to grow a business, it. You also have this renewed need to prove yourself. And being on camera can trigger that self doubt.

And I know this is, you know, several years ago I actually ran a challenge, I think it was called the Be True to Yourself video challenge to help help women to be more confident on camera. And I was so thrilled when I knew several people who were in that challenge really did gain the confidence to do it. And they started showing up online doing videos. And it just made me so happy. And maybe one of these days I'll run that challenge again because it really was a powerful tool. And it's, I'm going to go into in more detail some, some tips about how you can be more confident in a moment. But let, let's stay with, let's stay with sort of what keeps you perhaps from doing that. So if you feel that perhaps your previous achievements are being overlooked or undervalued as a business owner, that can make it, that can be one of the challenges that you might be having. And again, especially if maybe you're newer in business, it can be intimidating to show up as that expert, even though you may feel very confident in yourself....

If you're like many women in business, you crave emotional bonds - especially with other women - to ease the feelings of isolation that accompany the entrepreneurial journey. In this enlightening episode, I sit down with JF Benoist, bestselling author and pioneer in mental health, to explore why authentic relationships seem more elusive than ever in our digital age.

Show Notes | Transcript

"Authentic connection comes from being in relationship with our emotional body. And what that really means is that, you know, we are feeling creatures and we're having experiences all day long." - JF Benoist

As we navigate the complexities of modern connection, JF shares profound insights on how tapping into genuine relationships could be the missing piece that transforms not just your business, but your entire sense of belonging.

Discover how to:

Recognize and overcome the "correction mindset" that hinders authentic connection

Cultivate a deeper relationship with your emotional body for more meaningful interactions

Implement a simple 5-minute check-in practice to foster genuine connections with team members

Shift from performance-based thinking to a more balanced approach in business and life

Key insights include:

The surprising impact of our upbringing on our ability to form authentic connections

Why prioritizing emotional experiences leads to more fulfilling relationships and business success

How to break free from the cycle of seeking external validation through achievements

The three essential elements for true fulfillment, according to philosopher Alfred Adler

JF also introduces his new book, "Aviv La Vie: An Adventure in Belonging," which offers a novel approach to understanding and cultivating authentic connections in all areas of life. I highly recommend this book because JF expertly crafts storytelling with lessons to create a book that educates and entertains.

Whether you're a seasoned entrepreneur feeling disconnected or a business owner looking to foster deeper relationships within your team, this conversation offers practical strategies and profound insights to help you create a more connected, fulfilling life and business. Tune in to start your journey towards authentic belonging and watch your world transform!

Connect with JF Benoist

Website: avivelavie.com

YouTube: @avivelavie

Resources:

Join the Soulful Women's Network here

Receive daily inspirational email messages: bit.ly/LoveLightNotes

Need support? Go to engagewithgloria.com to schedule a call.

Connect with Live Love Engage:

Send Gloria Grace a message

☕ Support the podcast

❤ Love this episode? Leave us a review and rating

LinkedIn: Gloria Grace Rand

Facebook: Gloria Grace Rand

YouTube: Gloria Grace Rand

TRANSCRIPT

Gloria Grace Rand

Namaste. Have you ever felt like despite the number of Facebook friends or LinkedIn connections you have, that you still feel totally alone in your entrepreneurial journey? Well, get ready for my enlightening conversation with today's guest as we're going to delve into why true connection seems harder to find than ever. And discover how tapping into authentic relationships could be the missing piece that transforms not just your business, but your whole sense of belonging in this fast paced digital world. But first, I do want to welcome you to Live Love Engage, especially if this is your first time tuning in. I am Gloria Grace, founder of Align to Shine Academy and I work with spiritually minded women entrepreneurs to break free from self doubt and step into their highest potential. And joining us in just a moment is JF Benoit, who is the best selling author of Addicted to the Monkey Mind and his newest book, Aviv La Vie An Adventure in Belonging. And he's a pioneer in mental health and emotional well being with decades of experience transforming how we understand connection and self worth. And I'm really glad to have him here today because I, I've just come to the realization that my word for 2025 is connection. So this is per. So I'm going to bring him on right now and welcome you officially to Live Love Engage.

JF Benoist

JF thanks for having me, Gloria.

Gloria Grace Rand

Well, I want to just dive right in to this subject and talk about why does belonging feel so elusive?

JF Benoist

Well, I think for most of us we take for granted in a way the way we were raised. So not a lot of us take time to really reflect on the fact that there is a particular way that we're raised, which I basically talk about in the book of IV La Vie. But really more mostly demonstrate that we live in a world of correction. And what that really means is that if you think of it, when we first were beginning to be part of the world, our parents wanted us to be safe, right? So it was like we were told things like don't put your finger in the electrical outlet and don't put your hand on the hot stove and all these different ways in which we had to learn to belong in a safe way in society. But then slowly these correction started to steering away from our sense of survival, our sense of well being and it became about our character in a way. So you know, the comments could have been, hey, you're not going to wear that to school or why can't you be more like your brother? You know, he, he doesn't cry like you or you know, so a lot of that started to shape our sense of who we should be in the world. And I don't think a lot of us are fully conscious of how much we operate from a mindset today that keeps doing that to our own selves. Right. So the, the majority of the thoughts that we're having can be performance based in all sorts of different ways. And that affects our sense of connection to ourselves and connection with other people.

Gloria Grace Rand

Yeah, I never thought of it that way of describing as this correction phase. But, but you're right, we, we do have that and that. And we do often then become our own worst enemies sometimes about correcting ourselves. We can be very judgmental at times. And so, yeah, it does make it hard then to be able to have those authentic connections. And that's actually where I want to go to next is I'd love to know, how do you define authentic connection? What does that really mean to you?

JF Benoist

Yeah, it's a beautiful question because I, I think this is something that's a missing link in the way that we experience ourselves. So authentic connection comes from being in relationship with our emotional body. And what that really means is that, you know, we are feeling creatures and we're having experiences all day long. And if you think of it, a lot of times when we're getting triggered, our mind is busy sort of looking for the source of why we're irritated or it's thinking maybe it's the other person and what they're doing, or it's the situation or the event. And so we're sort of operating out of a narrative that in a way is disregarded the emotional experience we're having in the body. So we're disconnected from our own experience. And that happens for most people, I would say, probably a few times on a daily basis. And so as long as we keep following this narrative that is correction based, that is trying to find sort of like thinking that the problem is out there somewhere, that it's, you know, with someone else or it's not really conducive to connecting to our experience. So it makes it very challenging. So the first connection is really with ourselves, with our own emotional body. And, and the second connection is, is with others, meaning being able to communicate in an honest, open way the experiences that we're having. And that's when we have true belonging. That's when we have true connections.

Gloria Grace Rand

Yeah, that makes so much sense. And I know that it's something I, I talk about as well is because it really comes down to self love and, and being able to truly, you know, appreciate yourself And. And get in touch with yourself. So how do you go about helping, like, your clients? What. How do you, you know, if someone is feeling like, you know, they're not. They don't belong, but it's really because they're not connected to themselves, how do you help them in that way?

JF Benoist

Well, I think that the first and most important aspect of being able to create this connection with the emotional body is to become aware that we're following a narrative. So let's take a simple example. Like, I think most couple could relate. Let's say you come home, you're tired after a long day, and then your partner says something as simple as you. You know, you told me that you cleaned the kitchen this morning, and it's still dirty today. And so then there's like, this sort of irritation that would, you know, for the most people would feel, and they would have this sense of like, hey, I work hard all day. So now the narrative that we're following is a defensive narrative. Right. But there's no attention really to the experience itself. It's more like following the thoughts that are saying, hey, you seem to be nagging me right now, or whatever thoughts that we're having about what is being said. And now we got to fix this problem by justifying the fact that, oh, we work hard all day. And. But what actually happens to the connection to ourselves and with our partner, when we react by saying, I worked hard all day, well, most likely the other partner will say, well, I work hard too, you know, and it's just like, right. And so then there's a. We follow a narrative that leads us to experience ourselves as disconnected from ourselves and from other people. So this initial reaction, okay, the thoughts that we're having are creating a first layer of emotions that are reactive emotion. But in the emotional body, there is a. An anxiety that exists. And that anxiety is because in those moments that were triggered, our sense of love and our sense of value is actually appears to be put in question....

Are you ready to elevate your online presence and generate content that connects with your ideal clients on a deeper level? In this enlightening episode, I share my journey from SEO copywriter to marketing mindset alchemist, revealing how you can merge strategic search engine optimization with your unique spiritual gifts.

Show Notes | Transcript

"Our words have power. The words that we speak, the words that we write... they carry a frequency." - Gloria Grace Rand

As the founder of Align to Shine Academy, I've discovered that true success lies in aligning your content not just with Google's algorithms, but with your soul's purpose. I'll guide you through the process of creating content that resonates deeply with your audience while still ranking well in search results.

Discover:

How to infuse your content with intention, creating an energetic signature that attracts your ideal clients

The power of mindful keyword research and how to use it effectively

Why understanding your audience's pain points is crucial for creating impactful content

How to leverage AI tools like Perplexity to enhance your content strategy

Key insights include:

The importance of setting clear intentions for your content and its impact on your audience

Why it's important to conduct meaningful surveys to truly understand your clients' needs

The role of analytics and tracking in refining your content strategy

Why aligning with your higher self is essential for authentic content creation

I also introduce you to the transformative power of light language, a unique form of sound healing that can help you connect more deeply with your intuition and higher self. This practice can be a powerful tool for reducing stress and opening yourself to inspired ideas for your business.

Whether you're a seasoned entrepreneur or just starting your spiritual business journey, this episode offers practical strategies and spiritual insights to help you create content that truly shines. Tune in to learn how to spiritually engage others through your online presence and attract the clients you're meant to serve!

Resources:

Experience the power of Light Language with a 15-minute trial session: bit.ly/LLTrial

Join the Soulful Women's Network here

Receive daily inspirational email messages: bit.ly/LoveLightNotes

Need support? Go to engagewithgloria.com to schedule a call.

Connect with Live Love Engage:

Send Gloria Grace a message

☕ Support the podcast

❤ Love this episode? Leave us a review and rating

LinkedIn: Gloria Grace Rand

Facebook: Gloria Grace Rand

YouTube: Gloria Grace Rand

TRANSCRIPT

Namaste. Today we're exploring how to merge strategic search engine optimization practices with your unique spiritual gifts so that you can create content that not only ranks well on Google, but more importantly, resonates deeply with your clients. But first, as always, I want to welcome you to Live, Love Engage, especially if this is your first time joining us. I am Gloria Grace, founder of Align to Shine Academy, and I empower women over 50 to study, step into their highest potential with clarity and confidence. And search engine optimization, or SEO as it is known for short, is how I got started in business. I started in 2009. I launched my business as an SEO copywriter. So keywords was my life, were. My life was my. Whatever it was what I did, I focused on doing that keyword research so that I could help my wonderful small business owner clients be able to rank their businesses and be able to have content on their websites that actually converted, because, again, that's the important thing. And so I was fairly successful at doing that. You know, why am I making that? That's interesting. Qualifying it. I was successful at doing that. Ha. There we go. Don't dim your own light. No, I was. I was successful as at it, and. And I enjoyed it and still do still enjoy writing for clients. And when it came to doing my own content, as is often the case when we are skilled at something, we're often really good at doing it for other people, but doing it for ourselves, sometimes not so much. And so for me, coming up with my own content that really resonated wasn't always easy, and especially it wasn't easy 10 years ago now. Wow. I still can't believe it's been 10 years since my sister was diagnosed with cancer. And it was like that's when my life and hers, of course, really changed. But I would say my business changed, that it started me on a different path, because when she passed at the end of 2016, in my grief, I really lost my passion for SEO. And I felt like I wanted to make a bigger impact in the world. I felt like there was something bigger and along the way, because I was or had had received this idea to write a book about love, which became my. My book, Live, Love, Engage, and also sort of the reason for this podcast as well. I felt like I wanted to do something with that. I wanted to be able to write the book and you know, I was given this idea of this, what I call the love method. L O V E. Love is an acronym. And in working with a coach though, she told me she kept seeing something like spiritual SEO so that I wouldn't leave the SEO behind. And so today, that's what I'm endeavoring to do is to really marry the two of those together. And that's really what my align to Shine Academy is about. It is about helping women, women to really release some of their fears, to release that mindset of limiting of beliefs and to be able to then be in alignment with their higher self so that they can shine. Because I found that when I did that for myself, it was much easier to then come up with content that resonated with, I mean ultimately with me, but also resonated with an audience. So I want to start at the basics. I want to start. Let's, let's go back to basics. I'm pretty sure that most everyone who is listening to this podcast, watching this podcast on YouTube, that you, you probably have some idea about what SEO is. But just to let you know, it's basically you are using finding the right sorts of keywords. And I don't mean just one word, but nowadays you have to do long tail keywords. So like three or four word phrases that your audience uses and then you incorporate those into your content, whether it's, I mean, certainly starting with your website, but also even in your social media content. Because then when someone is searching for what it is that you do, they type in that keyword phrase. Ideally your website is going to come up or your posts are going to come up, even so that they will know that ah, this is someone who does that type of work and maybe I want to reach out to them. And what I've also come to realize is as important as that is, I mean, that's the basics. Okay? That's, you know, no matter what, you want to be able to do that. And here's where the spiritual stuff starts to come in. Because our words have power. The words that we speak, the words that we write, but definitely the words that definitely in words that we're speaking, they carry a frequency. But even when you're writing, when you, depending on how your mindset is at the moment when you are writing, then those words are going to be infused with it and your audience is going to pick up on that. So it's really, it's think of it as keywords, as energy signatures and I love it. I have a friend of mine who says Words cast spells and that's why they call it spelling. And I think that's true. So it's when you are in alignment with who you are and when you are really secure on what your mission is and your vision for an impact in the world and what your business does, then of course doing some research into who your ideal audience is is important. You want to be able to do that and then see what type of language they're using to describe their pain points and their challenges and frustrations. Then you can then use that language in your content and set the intention that you're using this language because you want to be able to support these people. You want to be able to help them to overcome whatever challenges and fears and frustrations they have. And so when you're using those keyword phrases, set that intention that that's what it's going to be. That, that how you're going to be able to. You're using this mindfully. Yeah, that's what I want to say. You're using it mindfully. Now as a practical tip, I will say there is a wonderful way to be able to help yourself also hone in on a particular phrase or something or the long tail keywords. Let's say to be able to use that in your content is Google has a people also ask section. So when you do, let's say, okay, so let's say for me for instance, so I would say that I want to help my clients overcome self doubt or fear of failure or fear of success. So when I put that into Google they will come up with, you know, there's a list of results but then they will also do an example of what other people, you know, people also ask different things. Oh, I should have had. I actually did this exercise the other day and oh, and it just reminded me of another tool to use not only Google, because Google is is great but there's another. My new favorite tool that I'm using right now is called Perplexity. And what I love about Perplexity is it's another search tool and it uses AI. So it is Perplexity AI. Maybe I'll put that into the resource section today of the show notes for you. It will not only when you ask it a question, it will give you a list of results. But that also includes little footnotes of resources where they got this information from. So you can go in and look at it and see. But they also have here are other questions that people ask. So similar to Google, Perplexity does this as well. So It's a really, really, really great way to be able to help you to find out what are people searching for and what are the challenges that they're having so that then you can use that and take a break for a

Did you know there is a "stress sweet spot" for achieving peak performance in your business? That's one of the findings Dr. Stephen Sideroff, an internationally renowned psychologist and consultant, shares with me in this enlightening episode. We explore his groundbreaking approach to resilience, peak performance, and transformational psychology. This conversation is perfect for anyone feeling overwhelmed or struggling to achieve that elusive work-life balance while maintaining vital energy.

Show Notes | Transcript

"There's always a best way to move forward. There's always a best way to handle what you're engaged in." - Dr. Stephen Sideroff

Dr. Sideroff shares invaluable insights from his new book, "The Nine Pillars of Resilience: The Proven Path to Master Stress, Slow Aging, and Increase Vitality." Together, we uncover practical tools that blend science with soul, helping you navigate the challenges of entrepreneurship while preserving your well-being.

Discover how to:

Reframe your understanding of resilience and use it as a tool for personal growth

Identify your "stress sweet spot" to maximize health and performance

Cultivate a growth mindset to break free from unproductive habits and patterns

Key insights include:

Why stress isn't always bad and how it can be a useful tool when managed correctly

The importance of emotional balance and mastery in navigating challenging situations

How to develop a healthy internal voice that supports and nurtures you

The role of neuroplasticity in breaking old habits and creating positive change

Dr. Sideroff also challenges common misconceptions about stress management and offers a fresh perspective on creating a work-life balance that honors both our professional ambitions and personal well-being.

Whether you're a seasoned entrepreneur or just starting your business journey, this conversation offers practical strategies to help you thrive without sacrificing your health. Tune in to start your path towards mastering stress, slowing aging, and increasing your vital energy!

Resources:

Join the Soulful Women's Network here

Receive daily inspirational email messages: bit.ly/LoveLightNotes

Need support? Go to engagewithgloria.com to schedule a call.

Connect with Dr. Stephen Sideroff

Website: drstephensideroff.com

Connect with Live Love Engage:

Send Gloria Grace a message

☕ Support the podcast

❤ Love this episode? Leave us a review and rating

LinkedIn: Gloria Grace Rand

Facebook: Gloria Grace Rand

YouTube: Gloria Grace Rand

TRANSCRIPT

Gloria Grace Rand

Namaste. Is building your business kind of adding too many gray hairs to your head maybe because you're not achieving that elusive work life balance that you would love to be able to have? Well, if that is the case, today's episode is for you because my guest is going to be diving deep into his game changing approach to mastering stress and maintaining your vital energy while growing your business. And I promise you're going to come away with from our interview with some practical tools that blend science with soul. But first, I do want to welcome you if this is your first time to Live Love Engage. I am Gloria Grace. I am the founder of Align to Shine Academy and I empower women over 50 to really love themselves and the life they're living also, which is so important and which is why today's episode I think is going to help, help you to do that if you are in that category. So just in just a moment, I'm going to bring on Dr. Steven Sideroff, who is an internationally renowned psychologist and consultant who has developed a groundbreaking approach to resilience, peak performance and transformational psychology. And he has a new book out this year that's called the Nine Pillars of Resilience, the Proven Path to Master Stress, Slow Aging, and Increase Vitality, which I think is something that we all really would like to do. So without further ado, I'm going to bring him up here and we're going to jump right into this conversation. So I want to welcome you, Dr. Stephen, to live Love Engage.

Dr. Stephen Sideroff

Thank you very much, Gloria. It's a pleasure to be here and in conversation with you.

Gloria Grace Rand

Well, I am really looking forward to this. You had, you recently had, as we were recording this, had published an article in Psychology Today about, about your book. And, and it was very interesting. And, and I know one of the things you mentioned in there and was one of the other reasons why we connected. I, I love the concept that you have. You've got like a new definition of resilience. It's something that I think people wouldn't necessarily think would be a definition. So I was wondering if you can share. I'm going to let you tell us what that is. And what do you mean by that?

Dr. Stephen Sideroff

Yeah, well, certainly. So most people think about resilience as the ability to bounce back. And while that has some validity, my new definition is resilience as the ability to bounce forward. And why I make that distinction is that after you're going through a stress, a challenge in life, you don't want to go back to where you started from even though recovery is an important aspect of that, you want to learn the lesson of that experience. You want to find how you can break away from lessons of childhood and learn new ways of handling the stresses that you're dealing with. And so every time we engage in a stress and we are successful, what's the lesson to be learned from that experience so that you bounce forward? And then the next time you engage in any stressful behavior, you have the advantage of that lesson, of that learning, and new ways of doing how you engage with the stresses. And I refer to this also as a growth mindset where we're always looking to benefit from experience.

Gloria Grace Rand

Yeah. And it makes a lot more sense to. To refer to it that way. We're getting a little strange feedback there. Oh, well. But anyway, yeah, I mean, I like that idea of bouncing forward because. Yeah, you do. I think that is part of what helps you to be able to cultivate resilience is you do have to learn. You learn some. Take the time to learn some lessons about what happened so that you can, you know, use that, apply that the next time. You know, I know that you had. And again, when we were recording this, you live in Southern California, and so you were dealing a lot with the threat of the horrific wildfires that were going on. And that's part of what your article was about, was how you have been applying the pillars you wrote about in your book. And I thought maybe, maybe one thing, because I know there's nine pillars, and we don't necessarily have to go into all of them right now, but if you had to pick, you know, maybe one or two, that would be important for someone to consider. What, maybe even to start with, if. When they're trying to build resilience, which. Which ones would you use would you talk about?

Dr. Stephen Sideroff

Well, if we take a look at my own experience during this really disaster where I was evacuated and couldn't get back to my home, where the fire was right in the line, my house and community was right in the line of fire. The first step for me is my fifth pillar, which is mental balance and mastery. And so the first thing is to realize, no matter what your circumstance there, there's always a best way to move forward. There's always a best way to handle what you're engaged in. And this is so important to recognize because much of the time, and, you know, in the situation that I've been in, it's so easy to go to catastrophic expectations. The worst outcome, my. My house will burn down. And for each person out there in all the situations we encounter, there's always a negative way that we can go into it. We can start by saying, oh, this is going to be difficult. Or we can start by saying, I don't know if I'll be able to do it. So that already takes you in the negative direction. That turns out to make a situation more difficult than it has to be. When we start out by saying, there, there is a best way, let me find it now. I'm starting out by heading in the right direction. I'm looking at possibilities for. For achieving my goals. I'm looking immediately for how I could take the first steps forward. So that's the first. My first tool and recommendation is that positive mindset. That mindset of there is a best way. Let me find it. Second has to do with our emotions. So you can imagine under this circumstance, my amount, my emotions were going all over the place. When the wind was going in the wrong direction, I'd be, you know, very upset. When the wind turned direction and was heading away, oh, what a relief. And it was like a roller coaster. And so my sixth pillar is emotional balance and mastery. And what I did in that situation and I encourage people to do is stay current with your emotions. Now, what do I mean by staying current? It means if an emotion comes up, don't push it down, don't distract from it, don't ignore it, deal with it. Let yourself feel the feelings. There's no right or wrong with feelings. We don't go, well, I shouldn't feel that. No, if it comes up, if you're feeling those feelings, allow yourself to feel them, find a way to express them. But then you want to make sure you let go of them so that you're not carrying excess baggage around with you. You know, so much of the time we have feelings from situations with other people where we're frustrated, angry, and sometimes we tend to just ignore those feelings because maybe we don't feel we can tell that other person how we're feeling. We're afraid that they will make judgments, that we're afraid they'll reject us, be even more angry than we are. But it's important to realize that if you're carrying a feeling, you have that responsibility to deal with that. And it hasn't. Doesn't have to be related to the other person because the other person

I bet you've heard the admonition, "be yourself," more than a few times in your life. Sharing your authentic voice helps build that know, like, and trust factor that is key in attracting your dream clients. If you feel like your true voice is trapped, then being yourself is not going to be easy to do.

Women who start businesses after age 50 may find they carry childhood communication patterns that hinder their business growth. But what if I told you it's possible to break free from these limitations and authentically connect with your audience?

Show Notes | Transcript

"There are people out there that need you and you owe it to them to be out there where they can find you." - Gloria Grace Rand

In this heartfelt episode, I open up about my own journey of rediscovering my voice after years of dimming my light. From growing up in a challenging family environment to navigating the business world, I share how old communication habits can manifest in unexpected ways - from people-pleasing to perfectionism in content creation.

Discover how to:

Recognize the impact of childhood communication patterns on your business

Overcome perfectionism and fear of judgment in content creation

Embrace vulnerability to create deeper connections with your audience

Align your marketing with your authentic self for greater impact

Key insights include:

Why self-acceptance is crucial for effective communication in business

How raising your vibration can improve both spoken and written content

The power of personal practices like singing or chanting in healing communication blockages

Why sharing personal stories, including challenges, can attract ideal clients

I also introduce the L.O.V.E. method, a powerful approach to self-discovery and authentic communication that has transformed my own business. Plus, I share a taste of light language, a unique sound modality that can help clear emotional blockages and support healing.

Whether you're struggling to find your voice in marketing or seeking to deepen your connection with clients, this episode offers practical insights and energy-shifting techniques to help you communicate more authentically. Tune in to start your journey towards sharing your true voice and attracting the clients who need you most!

Resources:

Listen to the episode about Somatic Healing here: https://gloriarand.com/somatic-healing-a-womans-path-to-intuitive-leadership/

Listen to the episode about Overcoming Perfection Paralysis here: https://gloriarand.com/stop-tweaking-start-thriving-how-to-overcome-perfection-paralysis/

Schedule a 30-minute Light Language healing session here: bit.ly/LLEpodcast30

Join the Soulful Women's Network bit.ly/soulnetwork

Receive daily inspirational email messages: bit.ly/LoveLightNotes

Need support? Go to engagewithgloria.com to schedule a call.

Connect with Live Love Engage:

Send Gloria Grace a message

☕ Support the podcast

❤ Love this episode? Leave us a review and rating

LinkedIn: Gloria Grace Rand

Facebook: Gloria Grace Rand

YouTube: Gloria Grace Rand

TRANSCRIPT

Namaste. What if the way you learn to speak up or stay quiet as a child is now blocking clients from finding you and what you have to offer? Well, today we're going to break those old patterns and help you find the real voice your business needs to thrive. But first, as always, I want to welcome you to Live Love Engage, especially if this is your first time. Joining us, I am Gloria Grace, founder of Align to Shine Academy, and I empower women over 50 to step into their highest potential with clarity and confidence. And this topic today about learning how to really share your authentic voice is one I resonate with so much because it's something that I have to do. A big sigh there for a second. Oh, it's something that has been a process. I've had to. I've had to. I was going to say learn, but I feel like it's more relearn because of course, when we're children, it's natural to be able to speak up and say what we think and just be bold. And sometimes, though, that boldness or speaking up isn't always appreciated. And it can start early. And in particular, if you have grown up in a family with some kind of trauma or abuse. I grew up with an alcoholic dad and a lot of also yelling between my parents and my older siblings. And I. The lesson I took away from that was to really start dimming down my light, especially around my family. Now, I was pretty good in school. I would, you know, be able to speak up. I was a member of the Girl Scouts and I, I was happy being, you know, taking part in speaking up there, but definitely around my family and also in stressful situations, in conflict, like, I was bullied as a, as a kid, especially in middle school, I didn't handle that very well. I didn't know how to really stick up for myself. And those patterns started carrying over into adulthood. Now, not when I first started working for companies and when I was an employee, I was okay. But when I started my own business way back in 2009 and I had to go to networking meetings, for instance, and I had to talk about what I did, and I had to essentially sell my services, sell me on potential clients. Oh, man, that was challenging at the beginning and even now. Wow, it's interesting. Oh, my goodness. My. What is it? The solar plexus, I think, area, my little tummy area is already getting little in the memory of that. It's getting little bit anxious because it remembers. Our bodies are so powerful and they hold, they store emotions and memories. And I'VE had amazing people on the show go back and watch who talk about somatic healing. Marbeth Dunn was a wonderful person I had on a few months back. Go find that. I may see if I can link to that in the show. Notes. Maybe I should take, I'm going to put a quick note here on my, on my little notepad about that because that wasn't on my plan today when I have my little, have my little notes about what I want to talk about today. And yeah, because that just came up spontaneously remembering. So this, I'm going to go into why this is important, but. Well, actually, yeah, so why is this important? Let's talk about this. How can this impact. So these patterns that happen to me and it happens to a lot of us, in particular women, I think, who go into business when these patterns that we learn as a child, whether it is to, maybe it's to overspeak or it is to be silent, it can translate into things like being a people pleaser. That's definitely what I learned how to do. And when you are a people pleaser, then you are, you're doing everything you can to please everybody. And how that shows up in business is perhaps you are keeping your fees artificially low because you want to attract everybody as a client instead of figuring out who is that exact right client and then pricing it accordingly. So that's, that's one thing. Or it's people pleasing can show up in business as again, sort of you're, you're following the crowd in your marketing and not being authentically who you are. And that's not gonna, that's not gonna work very well. It might work initially for a little while, but then people are gonna recognize that that's not who you are. That's not your unique voice it can create. You can start being a perfectionist in content creation, which that means maybe it takes you either forever to publish something because you want it to be just right, or you never get around to publishing something or like doing a social media post because you want it to be just perfect. And my lesson that I've learned on this is get it done, get it out there. Like for your website, for instance, you can always go back and tweak it. You can always go back and change it. But if you're, let's say you're just starting a business or maybe you're pivoting a little bit now in your business and that happens a lot to a lot of us as we get older and maybe our business is going in One direction. And now we're feeling called to do something different. And so we pivot into a new direction and the website doesn't totally reflect that. So now you're gonna have to go back in and make some changes and that's okay. I'm still in the process of revamping my own website to reflect my direction now as opposed to being strictly an SEO copywriter, which is what I started my business doing it 2009, I was helping businesses to get found on Google, you know, in the search engines. And I still do that. And I also do a lot more deeper work because in being in business all of these years now, I learned that mindset patterns like not being able to share your authentic voice impact how you show up online. And, and so I am really committed to providing help in that area to do this mindset work and this healing work through different energy modalities to be able to help you to align with your inner self, your higher self, so that you can then shine in business and you can attract the clients you want to attract and start posting content that reflects that. So what was my point? Oh yeah, that's right. So I'm still working on my website is, continues to be a work in progress as I'm, as I'm slowly transitioning that over. And, and that's, and also one of the other ways that communication, we wind up not sharing our authentic voice is because we are, we want approval, whether it's from our clients or our co workers. And again, that kind of stems from, you know, maybe as a kid where you might have felt like you really wanted approval from your parents or from your teachers. And so then you're afraid that, oh, if they hear, if they see the real me, maybe they're not going to like me. And so you get into this self judgment, which I'm telling you is not a good place to be. Again, been there, done that, and not wanting to do that anymore because it feels so good when you can just be who you are and not worry so much about what other people think. Because here's the, here's the deal, folks....

Have toxic relationships ever drained your energy and left you questioning your worth? You're not alone. In this powerful episode, I sit down with Deborah Ashway, a licensed counselor and mental health expert, to explore the complex world of toxic partnerships and narcissistic abuse.

Show Notes | Transcript

"Start right away, just start documenting, start learning about it. Start trying to become a little bit more independent of that person." - Deborah Ashway

Drawing from her extensive experience as a therapist and podcast host, Deborah shares invaluable insights on recognizing the subtle signs of toxicity in our relationships and taking the first steps towards healing.

Discover how to:

Recognize the subtle red flags of toxic relationships

Use journaling as a powerful tool for clarity and self-validation

Establish healthy boundaries in both personal and professional relationships

Reclaim your independence and rediscover your authentic self

Key insights include:

The importance of listening to your body's signals and trusting your intuition

How toxic individuals often foster a sense of dependency in their partners

The role of self-compassion in the healing journey

Why getting perspective is crucial for breaking free from manipulation

Deborah also introduces us to innovative healing modalities like EMDR and expressive arts therapy, explaining how these techniques can help reprogram faulty cognitions and activate our innate healing abilities.

Whether you're currently in a toxic relationship, healing from past trauma, or simply want to build healthier connections, this conversation offers practical strategies and compassionate guidance. Tune in to start your journey towards reclaiming your power and living authentically!

Resources:

Join the Soulful Women's Network here

Receive daily inspirational email messages: bit.ly/LoveLightNotes

Need support? Go to engagewithgloria.com to schedule a call.

Connect with Deborah

Website: innersourcetherapy.com

Podcast: Healing from Toxic Abuse

Connect with Live Love Engage:

Send Gloria Grace a message

☕ Support the podcast

❤ Love this episode? Leave us a review and rating

LinkedIn: Gloria Grace Rand

Facebook: Gloria Grace Rand

YouTube: Gloria Grace Rand

TRANSCRIPT

Namaste. Imagine breaking free from a toxic relationship to discover a version of yourself that won't be manipulated and is even stronger than before. Well, today's guest is going to be shedding light on how to heal from narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships so you can return to your truest self. But first, I do want to welcome you to Live Love Engage. If this is your first time. I am Gloria Grace, founder of Align to Shine Academy, and I work with spiritually minded women entrepreneurs to helping them to break free from self doubt so you can step into your highest potential. And joining us in just a moment is Deborah Ashway and she is a licensed counselor and owner of a mental health services practice. She is certified in EMDR and trained in expressive arts and meaning that she actually treats the root cause of most mental issues. And she also is a podcaster as well. She hosts a podcast called Healing from Toxic Abuse and which I was pleased to be a guest on. So without further ado, I'm going to bring her up here and welcome you, Deborah, officially to Live Love Engage page.

Thank you. Thank you, Gloria. Thank you so much for having me and for Grace, actually and for letting me be on your show.

Well, yeah, absolutely. I, you know, hey, that's, that's what we do, right? We, we like to support, to support one another and, and really especially with the messages, you know, that, that we have to share. And I think it's important to, to help people thrive, you know, to, to. Well, as I say at the end of the show, live fully, love deeply and engage authentically. And, and sometimes they need some help in doing that. And I know sometimes it might be that they are experiencing things like toxic abuse or, and, and maybe they're not sure that they are and maybe thinking that it's just a normal relationship challenge. So I thought we'd start with maybe could shed some light on what would be some like, subtle red flags that maybe people don't realize, like I think I might have experienced in my life, frankly.

Yeah, I mean, there's so many. But I would start with the self. I, I would always just kind of start with your own body reactions, your own intuition. And if you think that, look into it a little bit further if you're, if you're thinking that your relationship might be toxic. I mean, start there and then, you know, go through what you're experiencing. Go, start to narrate your reality a little bit. Like, are you feeling anxious? Are you feeling depressed, are you feeling confused, Are you feeling forgetful? These kind of Are all signs that the body is experiencing something that's not in a line necessarily with your truest self? Because when we're our truest selves, we don't. We don't necessarily feel all that. The nervous system isn't as engaged, so we want to be in a state of calm. And if we're not consistently we, you know, start looking around in your environment.

Yeah, that's so important because it really. Our. Our bodies are such wonderful tools that they really can help us to signal what's going on in our life if we just start paying attention to it. So it's. Yeah, I like that. And as you were talking, I'm almost started thinking about other relationships, you know, like that we have, you know, maybe friends and, and who maybe sometimes see things that we don't see. Can you talk a little bit about that? And, and because I know sometimes we, you know, we have these blinders on and maybe, you know, sometimes it goes the other way. But I think, you know, is it. How important is that to maybe really not be quick to, you know, reject what someone's trying to tell us?

Yeah, true. I mean, you're going to get, you know, a variety of opinions from a variety of people, and everybody's going to come at it from their own experiences and from their own perspectives. So we want to kind of take that with a little of caution right there also. But if you're hearing from multiple people that they. That and they're asking you, are you okay? Is everything okay? Are you happy? You know, and. Or that they're seeing a difference in you and they're asking about your relationship, kind of look at that a little bit more too, because other people tend to be able to see it sometimes easier than. Than when we're in it ourselves. When we're in it, we are blind to it.

You're. You're absolutely right. We can't see as clearly because it's too close to us. Plus we've been manipulated and led to believe and that this person or this friend or whoever is around us is, you know, we see. We want to see the good in them. So we start to believe that they are a good person, that they have our best in tensions at heart, whereas other people aren't quite so, I guess, you know, conditioned to see that or, or manipulated. So it's easier for them to see from an outside perspective. Just like if you were from an outside perspective looking in, you could see it much easier. So we kind of need each other. We need to, you know, you Know, kind of get some of that feedback.

Yeah. And okay. Oh, yes, I know where I was gonna go. I was like, what was I going to ask? But. Because I was paying attention to your answer. But I, I think before I go any farther in, in this discussion, it might be helpful actually. I. Because I think these terms do get thrown around a lot. You know, narcissism and narcissist. And can you maybe just give some clear examples of what, what that type of behavior is like and how it does then, you know, because we're all narcissistic to a point, but, but where it starts veering into being toxic.

Yeah. Okay, so. And there in Narcissistic personality disorder is a DSM diagnosis, but it has become sort of like a shorthand in, I guess, just, you know, our communication in general, just society right now lately, for somebody that is manipulative or focus focused on themselves. So I, I kind of like to use more like a broader term like anyone along the dark triad, which means they could be on that, that cluster B or personality disorder so includes a lot more than just narcissistic personality disorder. There's borderline personality disorder, there's histrionic, you know, there's sociopathic and, and, and so really all of those kind of share some components. And it kind of goes back to. There's four main things that they're looking for to support their weak sense of self or their ego. So they have a very protective ego because they have a very weak sense of self. And the four things that seem to overlap are that they need consistently either power, admiration, attention or control, some variation of those four things. And with, with narcissistic personality disorder, it seems to be more heavily geared towards the need for admiration and attention. And as you go up, you know, that, that spectrum then the sociopathic or antisocial seems to be a little bit more based in control. So just to give you an idea, I mean, we do use narcissistic, you know, or narcissist pretty loosely in today's language. But it really, truly is a disorder. And there's a, there's a lot of markers that go along with that, you know, that we do for assessments when we want to find. Find that out or look closer.

Well, I appreciate that. And, and I think that is important because I know I have a, I picked up a book a while a couple years ago about, about. I forget what it's even called, but something about narcissistic relationships. And, and because I was, you know, thinking, you know, that possibly I Might have been in one. But also even realizing that, I think actually I was raised by a mother who had a lot of these tendencies. But I like that you said, you know, that....

Did you know that lazy afternoons might be just the thing you need to spark some innovative breakthroughs for your business? If you've ever had one of those days where work feels like pulling teeth and then, you beat yourself up for not getting stuff done, today's episode offers some insights on how to handle these moments differently.

Show Notes | Transcript

"Knowing that I could give myself grace, pardon the pun, that is my middle name, to not do the stuff I needed to do yesterday. Knowing that today is another day, you know, tomorrow was another day and I can get to that stuff. It would not be the end of the world if I didn't get those things done." - Gloria Grace Rand    

As the founder of Align to Shine Academy, I've learned the importance of adapting our work routines to our personal energy levels. In this episode, I open up about my recent experience with a low-energy day and how I turned it into an opportunity for growth and self-reflection.

Discover how to:

Recognize the factors that influence your productivity

Give yourself grace during low-energy periods

Use downtime as a catalyst for creative problem-solving

Evaluate and adjust your business strategies for better results

Key insights include:

The impact of external factors like weather on our motivation and energy levels

Why self-compassion is crucial for long-term success and well-being

How taking breaks can lead to unexpected breakthroughs in your business

The importance of regularly assessing your business activities for maximum effectiveness

I also share a personal story about how I reevaluated my social media strategy after giving myself permission to take a break. This led to valuable insights and a new approach to content creation and distribution.

Whether you're struggling with productivity guilt or looking for ways to work more efficiently, this episode offers practical advice on aligning your work habits with your natural rhythms. Tune in to learn how embracing your unique energy patterns can lead to greater success and fulfillment in your business and life!

Resources:

Join the Soulful Women's Network here

Receive daily inspirational email messages: bit.ly/LoveLightNotes

Need support? Go to engagewithgloria.com to schedule a call.

Connect with

Connect with Live Love Engage:

Send Gloria Grace a message

☕ Support the podcast

❤ Love this episode? Leave us a review and rating

LinkedIn: Gloria Grace Rand

Facebook: Gloria Grace Rand

YouTube: Gloria Grace Rand

TRANSCRIPT

Have you ever had one of those days where you just don't feel like working? Oh, it's like it's pulling teeth to get stuff done. And then when you do get the things done, then it's like, you know what? I can't do any more. I'm done. And then maybe you beat yourself up over it because, oh, all this stuff I didn't do today, oh, gosh, that's terrible. Oh, my gosh, I'm such a horrible person. Have you ever done that, too? Well, I want to tell you about it because been there, done that, and I got some advice for you on how to handle things differently. But first, if this is your first time joining me today, joining the Live Love Engage podcast, let me introduce myself. I am Gloria Grace Rand. I am founder of Align to Shine Academy. And I love empowering women, especially women over 50 like myself, to really be able to step into their power to just be the amazing people that they were born to be. So, which I know is not how I totally normally introduce that, but that's what I'm doing today. I'm going with the flow. And. And that's. That's ultimately the point of this episode, because yesterday I had one of those days. And, And I'm starting to notice something about when I have some of these days. And, And. And this is what I want to be able to encourage you to do, too, is to start noticing if you have had one of those days where you just, ah, it's like just pulling teeth to get stuff done and you just are not motivated. Look at what's going on. It could be something as simple as the weather, which is what it was for me. Yesterday we had a cold front come through, and it was cloudy and rainy and cool. And I am a fair weather girl. I admit it, okay? I grew up in Michigan and now I live in Florida because I like sunshine. I really do. It makes me feel so much better. And it is a nice sunny day today, and I feel so much better. That's why I didn't record this podcast yesterday. No, I'm recording it today because I feel better today. Now I have things that I needed to get done yesterday, and I did get them done. Thankfully, I did have a productive morning. And then in the afternoon, there were still lots of things I could have been doing, lots of things I should have been doing, and I didn't do them. And in the past, I really would have beaten myself up over it. And I'm so grateful that I have done the work that I needed to do, to learn how, you know, applying love method, the L O V E method that I teach about letting go and letting God and opening your heart to receive and valuing your uniqueness and embracing your divinity by really embodying that and especially the valuing your uniqueness part, that's really what I want to lean into today. Knowing that I could give myself grace, pardon the pun, that is my middle name, to not do the stuff I needed to do yesterday. Knowing that today is another day, you know, tomorrow was another day and I can get to that stuff. It would not be the end of the world if I didn't get those things done. And frankly, today, again, because I did give myself that grace to basically not do stuff. In the afternoon I was watching one of my favorite shows on Netflix. I love the Parisian Agency. I love listening to them speak in French. All these wonderful real estate agents who deal in these high end properties. It's, it's, you know, it's a. I guess some might call that my guilty pleasure. I watched an episode of that and I, you know, watched some YouTube and I just did things to distract myself from the icky weather. I value who I am now and I value that there are days, there's going to be days like that where I just am not going to be as productive and it's okay. Oh, and as I was starting to allude to is this morning while I was journaling, a practice that I highly recommend, if you are a longtime listener of the show, I'm sure you've heard me refer to that over and over again as a really good way of being able to tap into your higher self and connect and, and it's a wonderful practice. So I'm journaling and I been trying to figure out what to do with some different aspects of my business and I had some great ideas come through of how to make the most of the resources that I have to be able to maximize my presence, shall we say, on social media, for instance, and taking a look at how things are performing and making some course corrections, which I've also talked about on this podcast before. There's episode that came out a couple months ago where I talked about a course correction in my business. But I've realized that I think part of sometimes where we get into this overwhelm which then leads us to be like, I don't want to do anything, is putting our resources in the wrong place or just putting them in, I shouldn't say wrong. I would say putting them, putting our resources into areas that are not giving us the ROI that we wanted. So case in point, I'll give you an example. I have been recording on Wednesdays something I call Wisdom Wednesday and I use the daily word from Unity as inspiration. So whatever that Wednesday's message is, that's the topic I use. And in fact, as I'm recording this, it is on a Wednesday and I just actually finished recording a Wisdom Wednesday. Now what I had been doing, I started these at the beginning of 2025 and I was live streaming them out to LinkedIn, to Facebook and YouTube and I wasn't getting a whole lot of traction on LinkedIn and I've been really putting a lot of effort into showing up on LinkedIn this year and using that as a way to be able to grow my business, actually starting even last year as well. So I decided okay. And I also talked with another friend of mine who is also a business coach. I know she does something called Teach Me Tuesdays, but she just uploads the video to LinkedIn. She doesn't go live. And so I said, you know what, I think I'm going to do that. So I was stopped doing them live on LinkedIn. I still livestream them to Facebook and YouTube and I would upload the video to LinkedIn and that's seemed to be doing better that, that was doing better for me. Now Facebook and YouTube, it dawned on me this morning. I'm. Let me, let me really take a look at this and see how we're doing. Well, the live stream on YouTube is doing nothing. I mean, I get, I've been getting like no views on several of those episodes. So clearly that's not doing me any good. That's just a waste. And then on Facebook, I have had one of my friends would wind up watching it and commenting and, and I love her dearly and she's amazing, but that's it. So again, and then I looked at my analytics on Facebook and it's like, yeah, they're not really doing that well live streaming. So this morning I decided that no more live streaming. What I'm going to do is record the message and then I'm going to upload it not only to LinkedIn but I'll upload it to Facebook and I'll upload it to YouTube and I will try that for about the next eight weeks and see if I don't get well, I'll just see what the results are because whether it's, you know, it does give me some better engagement or not, maybe I stopped doing it on both of those platforms and I just focus on LinkedIn. But I have to try it out. And that's the thing, is you have to be able to experiment in your business. You've got to try new strategies if some things aren't working out. But let me go back now to the beginning of what I was talking about here. So I think it might have taken me a lot longer to even come up wi