Martha is BACK! Are Susan and Mike ever going on a fucking date?! Bree covers up a hit and run, Lynette steals medication from a child. Gabby and John are caught in the act,

Bree lets a leaky burrito ruin her marriage. Susan stalks Paul. Gabby tricks her mother in law. Lynette get hooked on drugs.

Mike has been a bad boy. Carlos' mom comes to cock block Gabby. Susan doesn't understand boundaries. Lynette takes advantage of her friend. Bree makes dinner for a psychopath.

Susan has her daughter commit a crime, Bree visits a strip club, Gabby almost gets caught with her teenage gardener AGAIN, Lynette gets drunk instead of medicating her kids.

The core 4 plan a dinner party.

Susan get naked in the neighborhood, Bree commits a crime, Lynette has freedom for the night, Gabby is blackmailed by a child.

In Episode 2 I am still as annoyed with Susan as ever, Lynette abandons her kids on the street, Bree keeps her marriage problems hidden, and Gabby is almost caught with the gardener.

A suicide, an affair, a hot plumber?! I am desperate to talk about episode 1 of Desperate Housewives!