Gabby's enemy #1 is dead. Bree gets tough with Andrew. Susan wears an ugly top and crashes her car. Lynette breaks up a marriage. 

Lynette deals with a lice break out. Susan doesn't believe in red flags. Gabby showers in sewage. Bree's family secret is revealed. 

Lynette sabotages her husband's promotion. Susan catches naked people in the pool. Bree convinces her daughter's boyfriend to bully her. Gabby and Carlos go broke. 

Susan needs an adult friend. Lynette is raising criminals. Bree becomes a dominatrix. Gabby is bad in bed.

Gabby gets engaged to a teenager. Lynette catches her FIL in an affair. Bree wants to sleep around. Susan has another public fight.

Susan gets splashed with a dead woman's ashes. Lynette is giving Boomer energy. Bree sends another man to the hospital. Gabby is deceived by Carlos.

Lynette finds out Tom is a sleaze. Susan loves Mike. Bree is anal retentive, not affectionate. Gabby gets a job.

Omg Lynette somehow surpasses Susan in annoying me this week. Julie let's Susan know she is a terrible mother (finally someone said it). Bree discovers Rex's dirty secret. Gabby moves some furniture. Like that is literally all she did this episode.

Bree gives Rex a golden shower. Susan gets beat up. Lynette goes poaching. Gabby confesses to her affair.

Someone dies! Susan acts like an absolute idiot. Lynette has a mental break down, Gabby is not negotiating her uterus, Bree is raising a sociopath.