Desperately Seeking

A friend of mind has been on a bit of a reflective journey recently and we’ve had lots of conversations about childhood and parenting. How we wish things had been, how we would be different, what worked and what didn’t. How much comparison is fair, given we’re literally living in a whole new world now, and how much we should just let go of because, ‘it’s their first time on earth too’.

I was laughing at Emma in Monday’s episode when she was saying she’s always starting things and then tapering off... but let’s be real. That’s me all over, isn’t it? I was talking to a friend recently about a guy she just started seeing. He was consistently letting her down and arriving late or not at all. I said, ‘I am absolutely on your side... we think this guy is a jerk and he’s messing you around,’ but, if we decide to give him a 5th, 6th, 7th chance and he sticks around, I can also flip that script pretty easily.

read more at mikhila.com

Emma is back for an episode that just did not want to be! Even the editing was delayed because my laptop would not accept the footage!! CURSED, I tell you.

We chatted about the difficulties of learning new things as we age, just wanting things to WORK when we plug them in, the unknown enemy that is AI and my recent dabble with app-blocking software to prevent me losing my entire life to my phone.. a longer story for another time.

Emma has a show of her own coming very soon, so if you like mid-life chat and real talk about life, loss and taking paths you didn’t plan, go and sign up to her mailing list to be notified when her first episode drops!

https://substack.com/@cosycuppaclub

When I tell you I was struck down with technical difficulties this week..

My phone was gaslighting me in to pretending it had no storage, by way of corrupt data. After wiping that and starting over (which was a whole thing because I lost access to my authenticator app for my work laptop the week of a whole new IT rollout) my laptop started doing THE SAM…

First and foremost - the first episode with Lee is RAPIDLY climbing my ‘most popular’ list, and when you consider it’s a MEMBERS ONLY, that’s bonkers! I created a little group chat on insta, for listeners to weigh on on future episodes and MAYBE even talk among themselves (it’s early days.. nobody wants to make the first move) and the poll in that group was pretty heavily weighted towards another one with Lee.

Now, I left it all a bit late (not like me at all) and so instead of the topic I had planned (listen to the end for that ironic twist) we started on Lee’s hatred for a certain style of sandals (a ‘boner killer’ - his words) and that took us on a journey down, ‘what should we be wearing now we’re 40?’.

I think a lot of people our age are under the illusion that we’re ageing in reverse of somehow freezing time, but I have a theory.. and it’s more about what we’re wearing that anything else.

I promise we’ll get back on topic for next week, but enjoy this haphazard in-care episode in the meantime.

Welcome back to Desperately Seeking and to a brand new *MAYBE* series, ‘couples therapy’. The idea is to cover hot relationship topics with my husband of 14 years, answer questions you guys send in ..and will we talk about the importance of reality television as pseudo psychology and a way to open up conversation about inter-personal issues? PROBABLY!

YESTERDAY, I asked instagram,

‘what question do you wish you could ask another couple?’

Almost immediately, it became apparent that the NUMBER ONE question was going to be about their sex life. Understandable! I think we’re all a little curious about what goes on behind closed doors, right? But I wasn’t sure how to organise the variety of questions in to something worth listening to.

I also realised the conversation NEEDED more voices. While we can answer for us, we can’t answer for all. So, we’re going to dip our toe for episode one, see how we go, then I’ll bring in some other perspectives for a deeper dive.

I also had so many questions about finances, chores and arguing and they feel like episodes within themselves. So, drop me a DM if you’re shy or leave a comment, if you aren’t. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this one and whether you’d like us to make it a series.

Here are the questions we cover in this one:

Someone just reached out to me on instagram, thanking me for sharing my own journey with sobriety and recommending a great mocktail syrup I should try. Every time someone DMs me or leaves a comment to say they’re trying it for themselves, I feel a little swell of pride - for both of us.

But that pride is often followed by a pang of guilt, because if I’m praising you for something, I must be condemning those who aren’t following suit, right?

read more at mikhila.com

I’m Mikhila, and I’m a rage-oholic. I didn’t recognise this trait in myself until a few years ago, because it’s not even a little but the case in my real life. I’m not an angry person, I don’t shout or argue people down. I’ll debate, don’t get me wrong.. I don’t agree with everyone, but I’m not aggressive when irritated and I have never felt the urge to punch a wall, or a person. So then, why am I so easily baited online?

find more on substack at mikhila.com

I’ve been consuming A LOT of money mindset content recently. I want to hear from people who’ve turned their finances around and are sharing their journey. It’s inspiring to know what motivates change and I always learn more from someone who’s struggled than a natural savant.

read more at https://mikhila.substack.com/

Today’s bonus episode is audio AND visual. Once again coming at you from my car with a rant about how women are raised to feel like they should be less.

Check out mikhila.com to watch the video on Substack