Destroy All Children

After recording the regularly-scheduled Gremmies, everything somehow got even worse. So, here we are, ruminating on the impending demise of the AAA game industry, and running down Embracer Group's many and varied subsidiaries while trying to determine if they will survive or not.

What, you think that's grim? Well, tough shit, that's reality, baby, and we're all living in it! We eat the pig and together we burn!

Now that the good is out of the way, it's time to talk about the worst that 2023 had to offer. And, oh boy, there was a LOT of shit.

It's that time again! Time for us to run down our Top Ten Games of da Year, including the recipients of the most Prestigious award in all of video games: the Golden Gizmo! After that, we run down the currently scheduled/hopeful titles of 2024 to find out what we're looking forward to.

NOTE: I kept referring to Case of the Golden Idol as "Curse" of the Golden Idol. In my defense, that SHOULD be the name of the game, and it's a mistake I've made ever since I played it. WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!?! George also likes to call Bomb Rush Cyberfunk "Cyberpunk" so whatever, we all have our burdens.

Ending music: "Pseudo's Theme" from Clash: Artifacts of Chaos, composed by Patricio Meneses.

If you'd like to read our full reviews of the games mentioned here, I've linked them below, in no particular order:

Pikmin 4:

Larry - https://www.backloggd.com/u/LarryDavis/review/955664/

George - https://www.backloggd.com/u/Weatherby/review/981993/

Melon Journey:

George - https://www.backloggd.com/u/Weatherby/review/1001710/

Case of the Golden Idol:

Larry - https://www.backloggd.com/u/LarryDavis/review/945434/

Super Mario Bros. Wonder:

Larry - https://www.backloggd.com/u/LarryDavis/review/1101684/

George - https://www.backloggd.com/u/Weatherby/review/1126820/

Bomb Rush Cyberfunk:

Larry - https://www.backloggd.com/u/LarryDavis/review/1042069/

George - https://www.backloggd.com/u/Weatherby/review/1024517/

RoboCop: Rogue City:

Larry - https://www.backloggd.com/u/LarryDavis/review/1131187/

George - https://www.backloggd.com/u/Weatherby/review/1142770/

Resident Evil 4:

Larry - https://www.backloggd.com/u/LarryDavis/review/727755/

George - https://www.backloggd.com/u/Weatherby/review/742426/

Super Mario RPG:

Larry - https://www.backloggd.com/u/LarryDavis/review/1157294/

George - https://www.backloggd.com/u/Weatherby/review/1172594/

Final Fantasy XVI:

George - https://www.backloggd.com/u/Weatherby/review/909512/

Clash: Artifacts of Chaos:

Larry - https://www.backloggd.com/u/LarryDavis/review/737705/

Marvel's Spider-Man 2:

Larry - https://www.backloggd.com/u/LarryDavis/review/1125306/

George - https://www.backloggd.com/u/Weatherby/review/1116122/

Star Wars Jedi Survivor:

Larry - https://www.backloggd.com/u/LarryDavis/review/783822/

George - https://www.backloggd.com/u/Weatherby/review/1183353/

We're back, with our lists of the TOP FIVE best games of 2022! If you still had this subscription in your RSS feeds or whatever, uhhh, sorry! But we had to deal with this depressing-ass year and a dearth of quality content, so now it's your problem too. This year, the Gizmos and Gremmies are released as one episode because, honestly, we had a lot of overlap in the Gizmos and there wasn't a whole lot else to talk about. There were some great games this year, though, and I got to join in George's Best Old Game category. 

The Gremmies begin at 1:47:17, if you want to skip the spoilers for a certain game. 

NOTE: This was recorded before Justin Roiland's recent Law Problems. Doesn't really change anything, I just wanted to point out that we're right to hate him. 

This is it! The end of the most celebrated video game/Star Track/gremlins-focused podcast in existence. With all our enemies dead, we celebrate our victory and discuss The Matrix Resurrections. Then, the final Retro Corner: The Pagemaster for the Sega Genesis. Look, I don't know, it seems anticlimactic to me too, but George seems to think it makes sense. It subverted your expectations, right? That means it's good! 

Be on the lookout for the return of Stand and Deliver: A JoJo Podcast, which you can find and subscribe to here: https://anchor.fm/sadjojo

Outro music: Neverending Story 3 Rammstein remix: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DHBlfXtH9E

It's time for our annual celebration of the best video games of the year! In addition to the main Gizmos, we also name our Best Re-Make/Re-Models, and Best New Characters. Next week: THE END.

Link to Gremlins 3: Dawn of Desmond: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fnwXgLbjeA

Outro music: "Here Comes the Gremlin Man" by Nick Lutsko ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WE3DEAHbsqk )

Before we get to the Golden Gizmos next week, it's time to clear out the trash... The really rapey, gross trash... The Golden Gremmies are for the worst of the year, and oh boy, there was a lot of bad stuff in 2021! So sit back and... Enjoy? As we run down the Worst Games, Worst Developer, Worst Publisher, and Biggest Shitstorm of 2021. 

Outro music: "I'll Still Destroy You" by The National

Halo Infinite is out! I've played it! The green boy is back in town! Anyway that doesn't matter, because we also watched Star Track: First Contact (1996), which takes up most of the time in this episode, and in Retro Corner, George is knocking out all da Marios: Super Mario All-Stars, Super Mario World, and Yoshi's Island. It was released as "Super Mario World 2" here, but we all know that's horseshit. It's like when they decided Edge of Tomorrow should be titled Live Die Repeat now. Nobody actually calls it that. Or remember when they renamed Lady Ghostbusters to "Ghostbusters: Answer the Call"? Dumb.

Anyway, the Deus Ex video referenced often in this episode is Deus Ex: The Recut: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUfZZbrXVAw

Theme song by David Cassel

Outro music: "Opium Tea" by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

With no new games out this week, I've continued my retreat into 2015's Mad Max game, and I'm gonna talk about it! Because fuck you! We also talk about Spiders-Mans (George was wrong about its release date, BY THE WAY), Stars Wars, and other assorted bull crap. The Sega Saturn version of Symphony of the Night, that's another one. Uhhhhhhh, probably something else. It don't matter. In Retro Corner it's all Mario, all the time, with Super Mario Kart, Mario RPG, and Yoshi's Story! Yoshi's Story contains no Mario, actually, so I think it's kinda bullshit that it was included in what are SUPPOSED to be Mario games. Whatever. I am airing my grievances here because George actually reads these, for reasons I cannot begin to comprehend. 

Theme song by David Cassel

Outro music: Main title theme from Super Mario Kart

Not much to talk about this week, other than the new Beatles doc on Disney+, but there is some news about the fate of this show... If you've been listening this long, don't worry, you don't have to deal with us for much longer! But that doesn't matter: in Retro Corner, it's a Rare bonanza! Banjo-Kazooie, Banjo-Tooie, and Donkey Kong 64! All fantastic games that we love with all our hearts. Every one of them. All great. 

Theme song by David Cassel