Our guest on this episode of Locker Room is Kevin Wirfel. Kevin and his wife Cheryl lost their son Nathan to suicide on April 9, 2021. In this conversation, Kevin shares about the profound grief they walked through as a family wrestling with this devastating loss. Kevin talks about struggles and warning signs in Nathan’s life; things we should be watching for as parents, and in the lives of our loved ones.

Nearly every person that you lock eyes with has someone they care about who has either contemplated or attempted suicide, or knows someone who has taken their own life. People we come in contact with every day may be struggling themselves too. Even you who are reading this may feel trapped or hopeless too. We all need to know there is no shame in getting help and we don’t have to live on an island. Our enemy wants us to feel like we are all alone and have no hope. Don’t believe it. All we have to do is just take a step.

The Suicide & Crisis hotline: 988. It’s a 24-hour hotline where someone is always available to talk with you or someone you love. It’s worth putting into your phone contacts—you never know when you might need it.

If you’ve been wrestling with grief due to losing someone in your life—we have a Group called Grief Share that currently meets at the Nicholasville and Richmond Campuses. You can go to the Groups page and sign up there.

Books that we recommend for families that have walked through suicide:

Grieving A Suicide, by Albert Y Hsu.

So Much to Live For (How to Provide Help & Hope to Someone Considering Suicide) by Gregory Jantz.

For Christian Counseling, go to Southland.church/help scroll down & fill out the form and our staff will get you connected to a couple of Christian Counseling options. All this is confidential.

If you’re struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts or feel stuck right now…the drastic thing that you should do is Reach out for help. Please reach out to a church or our church. We have a lot of resources and we’d be honored to come alongside you and your family. We’ve got staff that would be willing to sit down with you, Groups for Veterans, First Responders, Mental Health Groups, Grief Share and a bunch of other Groups—you need community and you need to know that you’re not alone.

Please reach out.

Discussion Guide:

1. What’s one thing that brings a smile to your face regardless of how tough your day has been? (E.g. book, memory, movie, person, song, TV show, etc.)
2. How would you describe your mental health during this season of life? What factors have contributed to your current state? 
3. Scott shared some statistics regarding mental health on a more macro scale. Which was the most alarming or surprising to you? Why?   
4. Read Matthew 22:37. Despite the notion that the Bible only speaks to our spiritual health, Jesus actually speaks to a more comprehensive view of how we’re to love God, love others, and love ourselves — which includes our mental health. How should this change our perspective towards the stigma of mental health? 
5. Read James 5:17-18 and 1 Kings 19:1-8. Elijah is one of the most well-known prophets in the Bible because of the “mountaintop” and “valley” moments he experienced. What are some of the signs that suggest someone may be in a “valley” and struggling with depression? How can we bring these concerns to light in a gracious and tactful way? 
6. Read John 10:10 and 2 Corinthians 1:3-7. Scott and Kevin talked about the lies the enemy will try to plant in our minds. However, God provides us comfort even in the midst of our suffering. Not to give Satan too much credit, why is this an effective strategy? What are some of the reasons discussions about pain and suffering tend to be avoided in Christian circles?  
7. Read Romans 12:1-2, 2 Corinthians 10:3-6, and Ephesians 4:20-24. Paul touches on the importance of our thought patterns in his letters. What are the implications based on these verses? 
8. Read Isaiah 26:3, Romans 8:6, and Colossians 3:1-2. One of the ways we can fight for our mental health is by focusing on the eternal instead of the earthly. What are some of the different ways we can practically set our minds on the things of God?
9. Read, pray, and meditate on Psalm 34:17-18 this week. Make it a commitment to convert this verse to memory.  
10. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. When you sense something in yourself or in others, say something. Here’s a list of resources to save for future reference: 
    1. Suicide & Crisis Hotline 988
    2. Southland Christian Church Care Staff
    3. Christian Counseling Referral 
    4. Care Groups (DivorceCare, GriefShare, War Stories, etc.)