Evangelism simply means to share good news. It’s the Greek word gospelize: to spread good news. It means to share, tell, proclaim and make known.

Most of us are already good at it…we just don’t realize it. We share good news all the time without even thinking about it. We share stuff that we like, that has worked or something good that we’ve experienced all the time. We share news about sports, movies we’ve seen, books we’ve read or podcasts we’ve listened to. We just need to apply this to our own stories and share what Jesus has done for us with those around us.

Today’s on the podcast, Scott unpacks three stories—three conversations—that have shaped him.

“These conversations have shaped my whole life. You’re going to quickly find out this episode is extremely personal to me. I hope it encourages you!”

DISCUSSION GUIDE

Opening Questions

• Where are you winning this week?

• What’s some good news you’ve shared recently? (sports, food, family, etc.)

• Why do you think it’s easier to share things like that than to share about Jesus?

Read Romans 10:1-17. What sticks out to you? Do any of Paul's questions in verses 14-15 stick out to you

Scott talks about crucial conversations that have happened in his own life. Are there any gospel conversations that stick out in your own life that have impacted you?

Scott’s life changed because a friend never gave up on inviting him to church.

• Who has been a “Chris Johnstone” in your life, someone who kept showing up and loving you well?

• Who might God be asking you to be that kind of friend to?

• What can you learn from Chris’ faithfulness over 3 years of invitations?

Scott said, “Everybody deserves an opportunity to know how much Jesus loves them.”

• Who comes to mind when you hear that statement?

• What might it look like to push past the awkward and start a gospel conversation with them?

Scott told his dad, “Your shame is not an obstacle for Jesus.”

• How have you seen shame keep people from believing that Jesus could love or forgive them?

• What truths from Scripture could help someone see that God’s grace is bigger than their past?

• How can you bring both grace and truth into hard conversations like this?

Who is one person that the Holy Spirit may be putting on your mind as you listen to this podcast? How can you reach that person. 

John 3:16-17 (NIV) 16 For God so loved the world (insert your loved ones names, the people that you care about) that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

Key verses

Matthew 28:18-20 (NIV) 18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing

Romans 10:9-13 (ESV) 9 because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. 11 For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.” 12 For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. 13 For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”  

Wrap Up:

• If this podcast has encouraged you—I’d love to hear from you.  

• If you’re wrestling with Christianity, interested in getting baptized or need help figuring out your next step…shoot us an email at [email protected].  

• As always…if this podcast has encouraged you—share it with a friend.  You never know how an episode like this can help those in your life that you care about.

• Thanks for listening.  Get after it!  We’ll catch you next time on Locker Room.     

After the resurrection Jesus gives the disciples some daunting marching orders. It’s called the Great Commission—not the great suggestion!—Jesus commanded them and He’s commanding us to embody this mission.

Men, if you’re walking with Jesus, you’ve got to know the Great Commission isn’t for someone else. It’s for you. God’s put a calling on your life. He’s calling you to light up the darkness and share the good news, the greatest news with those that God puts in your life.

There's a lot of us who think the Great Commission is for the paid professionals, the church staff, that’s their job! No it’s not. It’s for all of us. God’s placed you in certain places for such a time as this, to take the gospel into the places and bring hope to a world that is desperate for hope!

Join us today as Scott and guest Bart Stone dig into practical ways we can share our faith story, right where God has placed us.

DISCUSSION GUIDE

Opening Questions

• What are some of your favorite beach activities? 

• Where are you winning?

Bart and Scott talk about how Bob was a great example to them for ministry. Do you have a mentor? If so, how has that helped you? If not, is there anyone in your life that would make a good mentor? 

Jesus’ mission is crystal clear:

Luke 19:10 (ESV) 10 For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.”  

Matthew 20:28 (NLT) 28 For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give His life as a ransom for many.”

John 3:16-17 (NIV) 16 For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.

Read Luke 4:18-19. “This is why Jesus came!  It’s the greatest news on the planet and we’ve gotten comfortable living in it and sharing it with others.” How does this passage and statement reinforce you in some ways and maybe challenge you in others? 

What are a couple key things that stuck out to you from the conversation about the great commission? 

“The enough that was enough for you is enough for the people God wants you to share the good news with.” 

• Have you ever thought about that?

• How can you use your story in a way that shares the gospel?

Talking about fears when having conversations about Jesus, How does knowing the fact we don’t have to know everything help you? 

What does it mean to ‘go’ for you? How does that look practically in your every day?

Scott closed with Philippians 2. Paul tells us that every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord. That’s either the best day or the worst day of your life. We either choose to do so lovingly, or after it’s too late…we will do so out of deep regret.

• How does this reinforce the responsibility we have to share the gospel?

God has plans for you today. Who is your one?

Wrap Up:

Anything else they spoke to you about the podcast? 

Anything that the Holy Spirit is saying to you?

More Key Verses 

Luke 4:18-19 (NIV) 18 “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because He has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, 19 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

Matthew 28:18-20 (NIV) 18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

John 9:27 (NIV) 27 He answered, “I have told you already and you did not listen. Why do you want to hear it again? Do you want to become his disciples too?”

Ephesians 2:8-10 (NIV) 8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

John 10:10 (NIV) 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

John 3:18 (NIV) 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.

John 3:36 (ESV) 36 Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on Him.

Next Steps

• If you’re wrestling with Christianity, interested in getting baptized or need help figuring out your next step…shoot us an email at [email protected]

• If this podcast has encouraged you, share it with a friend

• Sign up for Locker Room Groups at southland.church/groups

Locker Room listeners: we truly believe God wants to help us in the middle of our pain.  Whatever it is you’ve experienced. He wants to draw close. The Holy Spirit wants to comfort, heal and restore whatever it is that has caused you so much pain.

Jesus wants to give you the grace and  strength as you make the decision to forgive. In this episode, we want to make sure we unpack what forgiveness is, what it’s not, and what it looks like when we make that call—the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation.

Join us in the conversation this week with returning guest Gary Black, to talk about the healing available to us through forgiveness.

DISCUSSION GUIDE

Opening Questions:

• Where are you winning this week? 

• What are some things that come to mind when you think of forgiveness?

Think about two people that you have the hardest time forgiving. What comes to mind?

What about forgiveness is so hard? 

Unhealthy ways that Men attempt to process hurts:

1. We ignore our hurts 

2. We escape our hurts through vices

3. We stuff our hurts 

4. We disguise our hurts

5. We get bitter 

Have you seen any of these 5 unhealthy ways in your own life? How does that affect those around you? 

“Resentment didn’t change the past, it just changed the future.” Do you agree? If so, how should this statement impact your own life? 

“Forgiveness is not a feeling, it’s a decision.” How does this truth revolutionalize the way we think about forgiving someone?

“The desire to change is the beginning of change.” Why is that significant?

Reasons why we need to forgive 

1. Because God has forgiven us!

2. Unforgivness doesn’t work!

   1. Resentment doesn’t change anything

   2. Resentment can lead you to do foolish things

   3. Resentment makes you a wreck emotionally 

   4. Physical consequences on your body 

Which one of these points ring most true for you?

Gary described forgiveness as a process, not a one-time decision. What might it look like to “recommit” to forgiveness when old feelings resurface?

What does freedom or healing look like/feel like after choosing to forgive someone?

What would it mean for you to make a “forgiveness list” like the one Gary mentioned? Who might need to be on it and are you willing to start that process?

Scott mentioned there’s a difference between forgiveness & reconciliation.  Forgiveness involves us and Jesus.  Reconciliation involves both parties and Jesus.  Why is this critical for us to be able to discern?

Two questions to discern the difference:

• Is the other person safe to re-engage with or not?

• Is there brokenness on their part that moves me towards desiring restoration in our relationship? Or is the Holy Spirit prompting me to create some margin and simply walk in peace as much as it depends on me?

• What does rebuilding trust look like after forgiveness?  

• What are some healthy boundaries that might need to exist, even after forgiveness?

“Forgiveness is: I will no longer--I refuse--I choose to not be a slave or a prisoner anymore for what somebody did to me.” How does this statment reframe how you view forgiveness?

“You will never have to forgive someone as much as God has forgiven you.” How does that truth motivate or humble you?

Closing Questions:

How would your life, relationships, and relationship with Jesus look different if you fully lived in the freedom of forgiveness?

What’s one practical step you can take this week to begin releasing resentment or bitterness in your life?

If I were to ask you to name the one person who has hurt you the most in your lifetime, who would that be? If you haven’t forgiven them…OR others… It’s time.

Process for Forgiveness:

Pray and make a list

Simple Prayer: “God, please bring to mind all the names of people I need to forgive so that I might extend the same forgiveness to them that I’ve received from you.  I have sometimes held onto anger, bitterness, and resentment.   My desire is to be free from these things.   So I pray that you will bring their names to mind so that I might forgive.   In Jesus’ name.  Amen.”

After you go through some names, acknowledge the significance of the cross, and work through your list one name at a time praying…

"Lord Jesus, I choose to forgive        (name the person)              for         (say what they did to hurt you)        even though it made me feel            (express the painful feelings out loud…). "

"And now, Lord, I choose to forgive (name) and I resolve not to hold on to my resentment. I thank You for setting me free from the bondage of my bitterness.  I ask you to help me find a way to express kindness to him/her.     Help me not to have unrealistic expectations about his/her response.   I am choosing forgiveness, knowing that trust  may take a long time to restore.   I leave that with You.   Today I choose to forgive.   I release my bitterness and ask you to heal my damaged emotions.   In Jesus’ name, I pray, amen."

Key verses 

Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV) Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Hebrews 12:15 (NLT) Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.

Ephesians 4:26-27 (ESV) Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.

Romans 12:17-21 (NIV)  Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him;  if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

 Next Steps

• If you’re wrestling with Christianity, interested in getting baptized or need help figuring out your next step…shoot us an email at [email protected]

• If this podcast has encouraged you, share it with a friend

• Sign up for Locker Room Groups at southland.church/groups

“We truly live at the mercy of our ideas.” —Dallas Willard.

The ideas we believe in our minds and then let into our lives give shape to the trajectory of our souls. They shape how we live and who we become.

No one talks more to you than you do! Most men would never let another man talk to them the way that they talk to themselves. You wouldn’t be friends with them! You might even fight them! Men, we’ve got to stop all this brutal talk and inner dialogue. Shut that guy up!

Our guest this week on the podcast is Christian counselor Allen Connor. Allen has been in ministry and counseling for forty years. Allen was on staff at Southland for many years before leaving to focus on his counseling practice.

Join us this week as we talk about the ways the enemy plays our thoughts against us, and how to fight back.

DISCUSSION GUIDE

Opening Questions:

• Where are you winning this week? 

• What are some things that come to mind when you think of Christian counseling? 

“The enemy weaponizes thoughts in the effort to destroy men and keep them from the abundant life that Jesus promised.” How important is it for us to be aware of this?

The enemy is a created being and is also a 1 trick pony. He says, “well, did God really say...?” Have you heard the enemy say this to you? How are you able to identify this lie?

Our thoughts dictate our actions. How have you seen this truth?

Scott talks about how throughout the Bible there is this huge theme that words have power. What were some examples he used? What are some other examples in the Bible?

Words are powerful. Are there any words or lies that you have been believing and telling yourself that are not true?

Allen mentioned his parents constant comments, “Good job, but…” Does this statement sound familiar? How has that affected you into your adult life?

“Words stick with us and they stick with others.” How should this challenge us to be careful with our words? Who are the recipients of the sting of our words (wife, kids, parents, friends)?

Proverbs 23:7 (NKJV) 7 “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” What steps can you take to be more mindful of your inner dialogue? 

4 Steps to processing our neurological pathways:

1. Recognize and observe 

2. Pause and Interrupt

3. Challenge and Reframe 

4. Replace and Reinforce 

Here’s what it looks like Biblically:

Step 1: Identify the Lies 

Step 2: Remove/Renounce the LiesRead Psalm 139. What are some things that stuck out to you?Read through the surrender prayers at the bottom of the show notes. How can prayers like these help us?

Step 3: Replace the lies with God’s Truth!Read through the first 3 steps again. Which one of these steps are you more prone to getting hung up on? 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 (NIV) 3 For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Why is this passage critical? Some important questions to ask about thoughts

• Is this from God?

• Is this from Satan?

• If a thought does not line up with what God says, remove the lie and replace it with truth! 

We have all struggled with one or more of the scenarios Allen and Scott talked through. Is there anything from the podcast that stuck out to you for addressing these scenarios?

This week…

1. Be thinking through what lies you are believing 

2. Spend some time praying over those lies(Feel free to use the surrender prayers in the bottom) 

3. Read through some of the scriptures at the bottom and replace the lie with the truth that God has for you. 

If you are interested in getting in touch with Allen Conner for Christian Counseling, contact him at the following: 859.433.8515 or [email protected].

Surrender prayers:

Lies:

Lord, I renounce the lies of                                       that I have believed.  Please forgive me for believing that lie and I acknowledge that I need your truth.  Thank You for Your Word and I am choosing to trust it as my authority & source of life!  Strengthen me through the power of your Word.  In Jesus’ name, amen.  

Feelings:

Lord, I also lay down any feelings of                                       .  I recognize that feelings aren’t facts and renounce them.  They are vehicles that the enemy uses to accuse & condemn me in an effort to assault my identity in Christ, to weaken my resolve to follow Jesus and impact my relationship with God.  I give these feelings and their impact in my life to You.  I ask that You’d heal my heart, remind me of who I am and what the price that you paid to redeem my life.  I will trust you!  In the powerful name of Jesus, amen.

Strongholds:

Lord, I confess and lay down the current struggle of                                       .  I acknowledge that it has weighed me down, held me hostage, and been a stronghold that the enemy has used to kept me from the life that You have wanted for me.  Lord, break the chains that have had such a grip on my life and fill me with Your peace.  In the authority of Christ, amen. 

Additional scripture:

Philippians 4:8 (NIV) 8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

James 4:7 (NIV) 7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

John 1:12-13 (ESV) 12 But to all who did receive Him, who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God, 13 who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.

2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV) 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

Hebrews 12:1-3 (NIV) Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Romans 8:1-2 (NIV) Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. 

1 John 4:4 (NIV) 4 You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.

Additional Resources:

Live No Lies, John Mark Comer

Victory Over the Darkness, Neil T. Anderson

Bondage Breaker, Neil T. Anderson

Next Steps

• If you’re wrestling with Christianity, interested in getting baptized or need help figuring out your next step…shoot us an email at [email protected]

• If this podcast has encouraged you, share it with a friend

• Sign up for Locker Room Groups at southland.church/groups

Purity is a battle for most every man. It’s a consistent battle. We are constantly at war against the enemy, our own flesh. We have to stay vigilant in guarding our eyes, mind and heart because the enemy is serious about taking men out. Purity is a big weapon that he uses to destroy the work of God in men, marriages and families.

We’re praying this episode will be helpful not only for you, but also for your middle and high school students—even your daughters. You know your kids and their maturity level. Listen to it and then discern if they’re ready for it.

DISCUSSION GUIDE

Opening Question:

• Got any funny fire stories?

• Where are you winning this week?

Purity is a battle for most men.

“Men: waiting until middle school to address puberty, sexuality and dating is a real problem and it puts our kids in harm's way.” Why is it important for us to take on the difficult and uncomfortable conversations with our kids?

73% of teen respondents age 13 to 17 have watched pornography online and more than half (54%) reported first seeing pornography by the time they reached the age of 13. Why do we have to be proactive instead of passive when dealing with this topic?

“The enemy has sown those weeds in our culture and it’s choking out the sacred stuff like purity, dating relationships, and marriage.” How does this problem of Purity affect our relationships? Our kids? Their future relationships?

“We have to be able to engage and parent students in the world they are living in, not the world we wish they were living in.” Why is this important?

Three Mindsets around Sex and Sexuality:

1. Sex as God

2. Sex is Gross

3. Sex is a Gift 

How have you seen these 3 mindsets? Talk about the result of them.

All sins make us fall from God in the same way. But the consequences of those sins cause drastically different damage. Why does sexual sin always cause so much damage?

What are some ways you can play defense in your own life?

Myth #1: The Fire Won’t Hurt Me.

Point: What we see often shapes what we think about.

• What are some ways the enemy uses our eyes to lead us astray & move us towards sin?  

• What are some ways we can guard our eyes?

What is the drastic thing you need to do right now to protect yourself against getting burned up in this fire of sexual temptation?

Myth #2: I Can Get Close to the Fire Without Getting Burned.

Point: What we think often shapes what we do.  

• Can you think about some examples in the Bible or in your life where “thoughts drive us to actions”?

How does Galatians 6:7-8 shape the way we view this topic of Purity?

Myth #3: If I Get Burned, He Can’t Heal It.

Point: What we’ve done doesn’t have to shape who we are

• Why is shame one of the great weapons that the enemy uses to trap men?

• What are some healthy & unhealthy ways to address shame?

“What you’ve done doesn’t define who you are.”

• Can you share a Bible passage that declares that? see if your LR Group can come up with 5-10 passages backs up that statement. (Example: Ephesians 2:8-9) 

• Why is this so important to remember?  

“Have a hard conversation now, rather than having a horrible conversation later.”

• Why is this important?

What were some things that really spoke to you about Connor’s story?

What has God been saying to you during this podcast?

What is the drastic thing that you need to do?

Key Verses

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 (NLT) 18 Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.  19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies.

Psalm 119:9 (ESV) 9 How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word.

Ephesians 5:3 (NIV) 3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.

James 1:13-15 (NIV) 13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

1 Corinthians 10:12-13 (NIV) 12 So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! 13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

Matthew 5:29-30 (NIV) 29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

Galatians 6:7-8 (NIV) 7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8 Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 (NIV) 9 Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Philippians 2:13 (NLT) 13 For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him.

Extra Resources

• Single, Dating, Engaged, Married by Ben Stuart. 

• Locker Room Episode, Quit Porn, May 10th, 2024

• Beyond the Battle: A Man's Guide to His Identity in Christ in an Oversexualized World by Noah Filipiak

Next Steps:

• Sign up for Locker Room Groups at southland.church/groups

• For any other questions or comments email [email protected]

• As always…if this podcast has encouraged you, share it with a friend.  You never know how an episode like this can help those in your life that you care about.

It’s critical for us as men to take some personal inventory around anger.

We have to know our tendencies in order to take care of our own hearts and to respond—not react—in a way that moves us towards building and not destroying, towards peace and resolution—not resentment and hatred. We must learn to handle our feelings with grace and truth—the way that Jesus has done with us.

This week on Locker Room, guest Parker Sherwood and Scott sit down to dig into the fire of anger and talk about healthy ways we can identify, acknowledge and take responsibility for our emotions.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

Opening Question

• Where are you winning this week?

Questions to think about as we get into this episode 

• Where does anger seem to get the best of you? 

• Who are the people in your life that always seem to be on the receiving end of your addressed anger? 

• How quick are you to lash out?

• How many marriages, friendships or significant relationships have become casualties because of your anger?

• The hard one… Do you have any unaddressed anger that sits below the surface that’s eating at you? 

Different examples of Conflict styles:

• Trash compactor: They stuff it down and then one day trash that is smashed down eventually leaks.

• Volcano: At some point you're going to blow, spewing everywhere on anybody. You're gonna kick dogs, flip people off in traffic, lose your mind at work, punch holes in walls and paint the walls with your words.

• The Prosecuting Attorney: Building your case, keeping tabs and then it’s time to interrogate and you go for blood. You go for broke. Your goal is to win and not resolve.

• The Medicator: There’s so many things that guys will use to medicate the pain that they feel. They’ll dive into alcohol and drugs to resist and numb the pain they feel.

• The Avoider: Maybe that’s what you saw growing up. You’re conflict-averse. When anger rises and fight-or-flight options present themselves, your default is flight. Avoid and kick the can down the street hoping that someone else picks it up. But the can you’ve been kicking is still there. Avoiding it never resolves it.

• Eskimo: You just freeze people out. You just remain cold and you neglect the broken areas of your life.

Look at these 6 examples. Is there one that you lean more towards? Why do you think that example comes more naturally to you?

Scott and Parker talk about how our parent’s family wounds can impact our lives as their children. How does this change the way you view your family of origin? How does this change the way you view the importance of addressing your own family wounds so they don’t spill onto your kids?

Give the devil no opportunity. Don’t give the devil a foothold. “One of the greatest weapons the enemy will use to take out men is unaddressed, mismanaged anger.” Why do you think the enemy loves to attack men by using anger?

Scott lists a few things that anger can come from. What is the importance of addressing the first emotion before the second emotion comes? How have you seen this play out?

It’s not about behavior modification, it’s about living out of a new heart that Jesus is trying to create in us. Have you ever thought about the topic of anger under this behavior modification lens? What does it mean to live out of the new heart that Jesus wants to give us?

When anger arises, pray.

Why is it important to examine your heart before going to someone that has angered you?

If it’s not transformed it will be transferred. How does this emphasize the importance of transforming our anger?

James 1:19-20. We have to enter a hard conversation with the mindset of, 'How can I understand, and then resolve?' How does it impact our relationships with our spouse, friends, etc.?

Why is it important to pray sooner rather than later?

“The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” What does that statement mean to you?

What else in the episode spoke to you?

“We either walk in the spirit or we walk in the flesh.” How would your life look if you did this? Your family? Your work? Your neighbors? 

Let's wrap up with a challenge:  

• Where does anger seem to get the best of you?

• Is there any anger that’s gone unaddressed in your own heart?

• Is there any conflict that’s gone unresolved in your relationships?

• Anything you need to own?  Anything that you need to let go?  Anything you need to do?

• What Bible passage that we walked through is a verse that you need to put to memory?

• Where’s the Holy Spirit prompting you?  What has God been saying to you during this podcast?  

Key Verses 

Ephesians 4:26-27 (ESV): Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.

James 1:19-20 (NIV) My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

Psalm 139:23-24 (NIV) Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Matthew 18:15-16 (NIV) “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’

1 John 1:9 (NIV) 9  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Next Steps:

• Sign up for Locker Room Groups at southland.church/groups

• For any other questions or comments email [email protected]

• As always…if this podcast has encouraged you, share it with a friend.  You never know how an episode like this can help those in your life that you care about.

Scott Nickell returns to the podcast this week to explore building blocks found in the book of Proverbs, from which God shows us how to build a life—a life that looks like Jesus.

DISCUSSION GUIDE

Opening questions 

• Nickell talks about his sabbatical and the importance of rest. Did you get the chance to rest this Labor Day weekend?

• Where have you been winning in your walk with Christ this week?

Nickell talks about the importance that he has found in surrounding himself with people in similar roles with similar responsibilities as him. How have you seen this principle ring true in your life?

What is the difference between direction and vision?

There are a lot of upcoming changes in our church. What are some things you’re excited about? Is there any way that you feel the Holy Spirit tugging on your heart to serve?

“When we are at war, what really matters becomes really clear.” How does understanding the fact that we are constantly in a battle with the enemy change how you prioritize things in your life?

Do you agree that our hobbies need to be called into question? Why or why not?

Who is it in your life that is close to you but far from God? Are you praying for them? Have you invited them to church? Have you ever had a serious, real conversation with them?

Time is limited and heaven and hell are real. What would it look like if you actually believed that? How would your life be different? What would you not have time for?

“What you feed grows, what you starve dies.” What would it look like if you prioritized the search for wisdom in your life?

"Be killing sin or it will be killing you." What is the importance of killing sin early before it grows? How can we spot pitfalls in our own lives?

Biblical worldview: Seeing the world the way Jesus sees the world and loving the world the way Jesus loves the world. Does having a biblical worldview matter? Why or why not? What do things look like when men that claim Jesus don’t have a biblical worldview? What happens to the church, their families, the people around them?

Young men, how can you avoid boredom and take on responsibility? What can you be apart of that matters

College students, what kind of man do you want to be when you're 40? How can you look like that man now

New husbands, how can you get around some couples that are further along the walk than you? How do you think that could help you see what it looks like to have a Godly marriage?

Fathers, Just like you are in a war, your kids are in a war and the enemy is real. How does this fact change the way we view raising up our kids to defend themselves agianst the enemy? 

Key Texts:

Ephesians 6:10-11 (NIV) Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.

2 Timothy 2:3-4 (NIV) Join with me in suffering, like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No one serving as a soldier gets entangled in civilian affairs, but rather tries to please his commanding officer.

Luke 2:52 (ESV) And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man.

Read Proverbs 2:1-13

Proverbs 4:23 (ESV) Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.

Galatians 6:7 (NIV) Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.

2 Timothy 3:16-17 (ESV) 16  All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.

Psalm 127:3-5 (ESV) Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. 

Next Steps:

• Sign up for Locker Room Groups at southland.church/groups

• Sign up for Fight Club at our Nicholasville Campus starting on September 8th at https://southland.church/announcements/nic-fight-club 

• For any other questions or comments email [email protected]

This week on the podcast we welcome a very special guest: Ernie Coburn.

Ernie has been a leader and a source of wisdom around Southland for many years. He was there serving and leading alongside Wayne Smith, Mike Breaux, Jon Weece, and has continued being a part of leadership during our current transition to Scott Nickell stepping into this role in this very important season for Southland.

In this conversation, Scott and Ernie lay out a road map for faithfulness and integrity over the long haul in our walk with God, our marriages and how to finish strong.

DISCUSSION GUIDE

Scott described Ernie with a lot of words, two of which were wise and old. Who comes to mind in your own life when you hear the description of wise and old?

Ernie described the changes our church has experienced over the past 30 years or so. When have you experienced change in church? What have you learned about how to do it well?

Ernie spoke about how he spends time reading the Bible and in Prayer. What wisdom did you learn from him in those areas of connecting with God?

“God is either your steering wheel or your spare tire” - Corrie Ten Boom. Which of those two roles would you say God is in your life?

Ernie shared wisdom from his 67 years-and-counting marriage. What were you encouraged by from the faithfulness to his wife that he discussed? Is there anything in your marriage that you need to fight for so you can reach “until death do us part”?

Read Romans 12:9-12. What does Paul say about evil/sin? Do you hate sin? How is that evident in your life?

We are always at the crossroads of obedience and sin? What do you need to do to better understand God’s desire for our life and to live in obedience?

Read Titus 2:2. What is Paul saying here about finishing strong? Who is someone you know that finished their race of faith really well?

What do you think about dying? Is it something you consider often?

Take some time to think about what might be said of you at your funeral. If you could write a 1-2 sentence eulogy for yourself, what you hope will be said of you at your funeral, what would it be?

What can you do today that will help that eulogy become true?

What else from the podcast spoke to you?

What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?

NEXT STEPS 

• Join a Group at southland.church/groups

• For any other questions or comments email [email protected]

Welcome back! This week on Locker Room our guest Jon Weece sits down with Scott to unpack 16 'Laws of Leadership' that should define us as we lead in our families, our workplace and ain our relationships. In this discussion we'll lean on scripture and talk about ways we can grow in these key areas.

DISCUSSION GUIDE

Opening Questions:

• Who were some of your favorite wrestlers back in the day?

• Where have you been winning in your walk with Christ this week?

Jon’s 16 Laws of Leadership

1. The Law of Love- Lead with Grace, Land with truth 

2. The Law of Responsibility- Something doesn’t have to be your fault to be your responsibility

3. The Law of Stewardship- Leave people and places in better shape than you found them.

4. The Law of Humility- Serve from the trench not the tower

5. The Law of Faith- Be a risk taker not a thrill seeker

6. The Law of Wisdom- Talk less, listen more

7. The Law of Friendship- Vulnerability unlocks intimacy

8. The Law of Maturity- Don’t let compliments go to your head. Dont let criticism go to your heart

9. The Law of Gratitude- Unexpressed gratitude is a form of ingratitude

10. The Law of Foot Washing- Servants can do things that King’s can’t 

11. The Law of Generosity- Generosity is not measured by how much we keep for ourselves but how much we give to others

12. The Law of Focus- Aim for health and growth will follow

13. The Law of Purity- Pursue holiness before sin instead of forgiveness after sin

14. The Law of Simplicity- Replace complexity with simplicity

15. The Law of Language- People who gossip to you will gossip about you

16. The Law of Encouragement- Words will either help people or hurt people

Read through some of Jon’s laws of leadership again. What are 5 laws that really stick out to you? 

• How have you seen these laws play out in your life?

Law #1: Most men tend to lean one way or the other in regards to grace and truth. Which way do you lean? What steps can you take to better embody both? 

Law #2: “When we look at the life of Jesus, sin was not his fault. Yet he willingly took the weight of sin upon himself.” Is there anything going on in your life right now, that may or may not be your fault, but God’s prompting you to move towards it and make it your responsibility?  

Read Philippians 2:3-11 

• How does this passage reinforce the idea of serving from the trench, not the tower? 

• How does the life of Christ differ from the ideas that the world has about leadership? 

• What’s one way you can “get in the trench” with people in your life right now?

Law #5

• How can you tell the difference between faith-driven risk and reckless thrill-seeking?

• What risks might God be asking you to take right now?

Law #6

• Jon talked about older people in his life that are very wise and he talks about how they are all great listeners. Who in your life is a great listener? What do they do differently?

“Don’t let compliments go to your head. Don’t let criticism go to your heart.” 

• Why do you think both compliments and criticism can be dangerous if we handle them wrong?

• What’s one way you can stay grounded no matter what people say about you?

Jon says that one of his goals is to grow in kindness and humility. He talks about steps that he is now taking to continue in growth. 

• How important is it to grow in these two aspects of your life?

Aim for health

• Why do you think leaders often fall into the trap of focusing on growth before health?

• In our own personal lives it’s so easy to prioritize our “growth”, before we prioritize our health. Have you ever prioritized growth before health? What did you learn as a result? 

Replace complexity with simplicity

• What are some complex things in your life that you can replace with simplicity?

“Words will either help people or hurt people.” Why is it so important to keep control of what comes out of our mouths? 

• Is there a time when you said something that tore someone down when you could have said something that built someone up? 

Overview Questions:

• Which of these laws of leadership comes most naturally to you? Which one feels hardest? Why?

• How do these laws challenge the way the world usually defines leadership?

• Was there anything else spoke to you about the podcast?

• What was a big take-away for you?  

Key texts: 

• John 1:17 (NIV) For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.

• 2 Corinthians 5:21 (NIV) 21  God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.

• Hebrews 11:1 (NLT) Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence of things we cannot see.

• Matthew 20:28 (NIV) just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

• 1 Corinthians 10:13 (NIV) 13  No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

Next Steps

• Sign up for Locker Room Groups at southland.church/groups

• Sign up for Fight Club at our Nicholasville Campus starting on September 8th at https://southland.church/announcements/nic-fight-club 

• If you or someone you know is getting married soon or has been married for 5 years or less sign up for our 2-Day Marriage Workshop: Fall 2025 that will be on September 19/20 at https://southlandchristian.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/2486551

• For any other questions or comments email [email protected]

Welcome back! We're kicking off this season with a series called Lead! Leadership is crucial to every family, sports team, company, institution and organization! Everything sinks or swims because of leadership or the lack thereof. In this episode we will look at three steps we can all take to elevate leadership in our daily lives: studying the blueprint Jesus laid out for us, learning to take responsibility to carry heavy things, and walking a path for others to follow.

DISCUSSION GUIDE

Get to know you questions:

• Name three things about yourself.

• Share why you jumped into a Locker Room Group.

“We have a man problem.” God has put a high calling on us as men to lead and when we don’t, it has a dramatic impact on everything around us.

What are some ways that you see this “man problem” in our world, or for you personally?

Scott said, “Everyone ends up somewhere, but few people end up somewhere on purpose.” How can you be more intentional and deliberate about leading yourself so you can better lead those around you to better follow in the example of Christ?

Follow the Leader.  Hatfield gave us three practical ways that we can do that:

#1  Study the Blueprint. If we’re going to follow our leader, we have to see how Jesus led.

• How does getting in God’s Word and studying the gospels help us become better men?

• What steps can you take to better engage with the living Word of God?

#2  Carry heavy things. God has entrusted men with responsibility.  

Scott mentioned things like stewarding his creation, using our gifts to build up the church, spiritual leadership in our families, the gospel and its commission, and walking out the calling that God’s given us.

• What are some of the responsibilities God has entrusted us as men with? 

• Scott said, “Men are like trucks, they run better with a heavy load.”  Why are we better men when we embrace Godly responsibility?

• What are some responsibilities you have put down that you need to pick up?

#3  Walk a Path for Others to Follow.  

• Who are some Godly people who have invested in your life and whose examples you have learned from?

• Who are the people you are trying to be an example to?  What are you doing to invest in those relationships?  How are you feeling challenged?  

Three key passages that challenge men about the importance of the path:

• Luke 9:23 (NIV) Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. 

• 1 Corinthians 11:1 (NIV) Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.

• 1 Corinthians 16:13 (ESV) Be watchful; stand firm in the faith; act like men; be strong. 

Application:  

• Which of those passages challenge you the most and why?

• What’s your take-away from this first episode?  

• What step is the Holy Spirit challenging you to take?

Next Steps:

• Sign up for Locker Room Groups at southland.church/groups
• If you or someone you know is getting married soon or has been married for 5 years or less, sign up for our  2-Day Marriage Workshop (Fall 2025) on September 19/20 at this link:  Fall Marriage Workshop SIgnup
• For any other questions or comments email [email protected]