The White House released a statement detailing why FEMA will not be providing relief for the residents of East Palestine, Ohio. The Biden administration explained that FEMA does not deal with emergencies like the one in Ohio — instead, FEMA places itself on the front lines when there are hurricanes or tornados. This directly contradicts its own government document, which states that it does classify as emergencies hazardous chemical spills like the one that Norfolk Southern caused on February 3. White House physician Kevin O’Connor claimed in a memo on Thursday that the results of President Joe Biden’s most recent physical show that he is in sufficient shape to remain serving as president of the United States, even though a cognitive test was not conducted. One of the UFOs shot down last weekend by the U.S. Air Force with a $400,000 missile may have simply been a $12 balloon belonging to an Illinois enthusiast club, a report said. Senator Josh Hawley announced legislation on Wednesday that would allow those who were harmed by undergoing sex-change procedures as minors to bring legal action against the individuals and entities that provided the procedures. Don Lemon was conspicuously absent from “CNN This Morning” today just 24 hours after he put his foot in his mouth with comments about 51-year-old Nikki Haley not being “in her prime” — comments that prompted co-host Poppy Harlow to walk off the set.

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