Difficult Happens; Effective Communication for Bosses

Dysfunctional communication, incivility, and bad behavior impact us all. Taking your power back and building strong boundaries is easier than you think.

This is why I podcast. To raise awareness of dysfunctional communication styles and how to combat them. To raise awareness of boundary breaches that take your power away from you. To raise awareness of the physical impact that conflict, incivility, and negativity has on you.

By some accounts, 89% of Americans were raised in dysfunction which leads to dysfunctional communication styles that end up impacting you every day.

This is WHY the Difficult Happens podcast is here, to help you navigate these everyday interactions.

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• What is dysfunction
• How dysfunction plays in the way we communicate
• Incivility is on the rise
• What to  do about bad behavior
• Everything is a spectrum
• Bad behavior and negativity

Work with Lara

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Free Breakthrough Assessment

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/ 

Resources:

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense

© Lara Currie 2020

Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura

Summary:

“It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them” Mark Twain

Gossip, griping, negativity, seems to be everywhere right now. Dysfunctional, passive-aggressive manipulative behavior becomes the norm, not the exception.

So what do you do about it? How do you respond when those around you are being a Debbie downer sucking all the joy out of the day?

Want to know how to respond to all the negativity, dysfunction and marginal behavior? I’ve got you.

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• What is dysfunction
• Denial and what it looks like
• What to do when people are gossiping 
• When someone seems to by marginal 
• Everything is a spectrum
• Bad behavior and negativity
• Socially dysfunctional
• Sadness and hurt around you
• Right fighting
• Coaching your friends - when and when not to

Work with Lara

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Free Breakthrough Assessment

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie                       

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/ 

Resources:

Series on Manipulation

A More Beautiful Question

© Lara Currie 2020

Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura

Image for episode graphic Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

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Summary:

“Myths are public dreams, dreams are private myths.” Joseph Campbell

I’m rubber your glue, your words bounce off me and stick to you. 

This schoolyard taunt trickled into my brain this week when someone was projecting her own stuff onto me.

Has this ever happened to you?

Someone accuses you of feeling a certain way when you don’t, or assumes you think a certain way when that’s not how you think?

Neuroscience reveals that the subconscious mind, which is an information processor one million times more powerful than the conscious mind, is running our behavior 95-99% of the time, your actions and reactions are automatic. 

That means that when someone is projecting their shame, anger or fear onto you, they most likely aren’t aware of it.

What you’ll hear in this podcast:

• What is projection
• What are the different types of projection 
• What to do when someone is placing judgment on you
• Why when someone blames you, it’s about them 
• Social Constructs
• Social order
• Conforming
• How to live with less stress
• Tuning in to your body when under pressure

Work with Lara

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Free Breakthrough Assessment

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie                       

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/ 

Resources:

The Fan Incident - I Know you are but what am I

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Image for episode graphic Photo by Kat J on Unsplash

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Summary:

When a manipulator starts spinning their tale it can feel like you are being tossed in a word salad!

One thing that all manipulators have in common is that they use words to obfuscate, influence and control, also known as ‘Magical Speaking’. 

Have you heard the tapes between Amber Heard and Johnny Depp? 

One thing these tapes make clear, aside from their dysfunctional relationship, is that magical speaking was used relentlessly to control the narrative and to dictate what was “really going on.”

It is words, language, that is used to Gaslight. (A form of psychological manipulation in which a person covertly sows seeds of doubt, making you question your own memory, perception, or judgment.) 

There are some classic tricks used in Magical Speaking that you should be on the lookout for, in this episode, we dive into those red-flag phrases and what you can do to protect yourself.

Bad behavior is on the rise, arm yourself with the tools you need to protect yourself against manipulative behavior.

What you’ll hear in this podcast:

• What is  Magical Speaking
• How words are used to ‘gaslight’ someone
• What to do when someone  is talking in circles
• How manipulators obfuscate the truth
• What to do when anger is used against you
• Examples of magical speaking in real life (Depp, Heard)
• 6 tactics manipulators use, along with words, to control your reactions
• What self-love has to do with it
• Why you should ignore the ‘implied’ and speak to the words instead
• The emotional toll of manipulation
• How your triggers play in

Work with Lara

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Free Breakthrough Assessment

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie                       

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/ 

Resources:

The Secret Gift in Every Emotion

Your Conflict Personality Type

The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense

How to Combat Manipulative Behavior

Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura

Image for episode graphic Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone

“When you can be strong alone, you will be stronger together.”

It can feel like you have to choose between a successful career and a successful relationship, especially in this modern age where the line between a high functioning person, a real go-getter and a workaholic can get blurred.

But you don't have to!

Amber Hawley spent most of her career helping high-achieving couples in silicon valley. As a licensed therapist she understands the particular struggles and demands of this modern landscape. For over 20 years she has been helping passionate, striving high achieving couples reconnect and rekindle their relationships and she is here today to share her wisdom. 

In today’s episode, we talk about masculine and feminine energy, the line between striving and avoiding, the clues that your relationship may be in trouble and what ONE thing you can do right now to make your relationship better.

Join us as we take a look at all this, and how ADHD, perfectionism and high achievement go together.

What you’ll hear in this podcast:

• Why strong women may struggle in relationships
• Societies fear of masculine energy in women
• What does it mean to be high achieving
• High functioning, high achieving, the go-getter, a  rose by any other name
• What does ADHD have to do with it?
• The “balance” backlash
• When overwhelm warns you
• Are you a workaholic?
• How to communicate when Communication goes out of the window

Work with Lara

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Free Breakthrough Assessment

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/ 

Resources / mentioned in the show:

Peter Pumpkinhead

Secret Gift in Every Emotion

Couples Fix Amber Hawley

My Biz Bestie

Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura

Summary:

“Not Making a choice is a choice.”

When is the right time to make a change?

Change happens in a moment, a moment when the status quo, the way things have always been, becomes intolerable. 

Saying yes when you really mean no.

When you openly give and they take more.

These are the tiny boundary over-reaches that create a crack, a crack that manipulative or selfish people will use to exploit.

When a relationship or a pattern of behavior becomes too painful to tolerate, when it hurts to stay where you are, these are the moments that push us to make a drastic change. 

This tipping point propels you into action, it emboldens you to make the changes that are right for you. Your Fear takes a back seat and you make the jump.

What you’ll hear in this podcast:

• Where Real Change Happens
• How a boundary overstep impacts you
• Why we need a tipping point
• This far no further
• The shifting of a mindset
• Trigger Season
• A time for re-birth
• Don’t fall for the shoulda - coulda - woulda spiral
• Your subconscious and its power
• Building  resilience
• How experiences feel personal and professional growth
• Those who embrace change and those who avoid it

Work with Lara

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Free Breakthrough Assessment

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/ 

Resources:

Star Trek - Jean Luke Piccard “This far no farther” 

Big Bang Theory 

How Micro-Managing Let to a Toxic work environment [Case study]

Boundaries and the Extinction Burst Behavior

Columbo - (this far no farther) The Conspirators

The Tipping Point

Secret Gift in Every Emotion

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Summary:

“You are a master to the words you don’t say and a slave to the ones you do.”

Touchy conversations can be a minefield to navigate, so how do you decide what to say and when to say it? 

Sometimes we respond out of habit, without thinking through what we are saying. What we choose to say, and when we choose to say it has everything to do with our experiences, our expectations, and our assumptions.

And You know what my Dad used to say about AssUmptions?...

In this episode, we take a look at 5 things to STOP saying, and what you should say instead. As a BONUS, I tell you how to turn the conversation around when these words or phrases are being used “AT” you, so you will know what to say when your buttons are pushed.

What you’ll hear in this podcast:

• Stop Shoulding on yourself
• Always is a word that is Never true - the use of Emphaticals in conversation
• I hear what you are saying BUT… How the word but is really a dismissal
• It has always been done this way - and other useless phrases
• How you hear is just as important as how you speak
• Excuses, excuses and other things we don’t care about
• Why his Drama is an inconvenience

Work with Lara

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Free Breakthrough Assessment

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens; How Triggers Boundaries & Emotions Impact YOU Every day by Lara Currie

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/ 

Resources:

Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura

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Summary:

“My best successes came on the heels of failures.”

― Barbara Corcoran

What makes a Great Leader?

Sometimes the greatest leaders that impact our lives are not in the traditional leadership role.

Mentors, leaders, those who influence you and your life can come from anywhere.

True leadership cannot be taught, it must be practiced.

In today’s episode, we take a look at how things have changed for women, how the different generations view leadership and some tough choices that we both made along the way that has impacted our lives. Carol Cox of Speaking your Brand joins me in the podcast studio to talk about influence, leadership, why she chose to take her popular Facebook Group off of the Facebook platform and much more.

What you’ll hear in this podcast:

• Change that you chose, and change that you didn’t
• Why women in different generations are so different from one another
• Womens voices need to be heard
• Is Facebook over?
• The time of the mega-church mentality is coming to an end
• Feminism
• How we lift each other up
• Why having a mentor, of any sex, is important
• Advertising is ruining everything

Work with Lara

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Free Breakthrough Assessment

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie                                                                    

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/

Resources:

Carol Cox

Speaking Your Brand

The Good, Good, Good

Women in Business: Building an Action Plan

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Summary:

“You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind.”

― Joyce Meyer

What do you do about a Jerk?

You can’t avoid coming across one. You may even have one in your office, social group or sphere of influence. Jerky behavior is unavoidable and does not discriminate on who it inflicts. Men, women, young and old, jerks come in all shapes and sizes.

What makes a jerk a jerk?

It’s in their snide reactionary behavior.  They are negative, and often angry and cynical and are looking for an outlet, somewhere to share these negative feelings,  and if you are in their way, like the Eye of Sauron, when a jerk focuses on you and spews their vitriol it’s not pleasant.

Don’t let them steal your sunshine, arm yourself with these 3 things you can do when you are dealing with a jerk.

What you’ll hear in this podcast:

• The Jerk
• The intentional Jerk
• The unintentional Jerky behavior
• Why it is about them, not you
• Are there more jerks now than ever?
• How negativity creates jerky behavior
• What three things you can do to protect yourself from a Jerk

Work with Lara

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Free Breakthrough Assessment

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie                                                                    

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/

Resources:

Steal My Sunshine - Len

Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone