Difficult Happens; Effective Communication for Bosses

Did you know that there are two types of disappointment?  

The kind that is your responsibility and that you need to reckon with and make amends for and the kind that does not belong to you and sprouts from others’ expectations of you.

Nobody likes that sinking feeling you get in your gut when you have disappointed someone, yet it is a feeling we have all had. 

So what do you do when someone is disappointed in you? Tune in and find out.

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• The disappointment you are responsible for
• When someone’s disappointment is all about them
• How expectations impact disappointment
• How to determine your responsibility
• What to do with all the feels
• Emotions and manipulation
• Your body’s reaction

www.difficulthappens.com 

Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”

Work with Lara:

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Free Breakthrough Assessment

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/ 

Resources:

4 Generations talk about the Equal Rights Amendment

Connect with Puja Madan on LinkedIn

Visit the Mindfulness Map Site

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

The Language of Emotions - Karla McLaren

© Lara Currie 2020

Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone

The most well established, predictable, staunch systems are being re-imagined. Many companies and leaders are looking to make substantive changes. How do you make real changes in such turbulent times?

My guest, Puja Madan, helps leaders develop resilience and a mindset shift where real change can happen. Puja and I dive into some pretty tough topics about real change, and fake change like tokenism (but no real procedures or benefits) and virtue signaling (that is symbolic and not substantive).

Real change, real growth can happen, and here’s how

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• What is mindfulness
• What does it mean to be a mindfulness leader
• Why it is the top 3 people that can make a difference
• Can you be a great leader in a toxic work environment
• What is tokenism & what does it have to do with a toxic policy
• What is virtue signaling and what does it have to do with manipulation
• How can we be mindful
• When unintentional inclusion impacts you

Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”

Work with Lara:

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Free Breakthrough Assessment

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie                                                                    

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/

Resources:

4 Generations talk about the Equal Rights Amendment

Connect with Puja Madan on LinkedIn

Visit the Mindfulness Map Site

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

The Language of Emotions - Karla McLaren

© Lara Currie 2020

Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura

Photo by Simon Migaj on Unsplash

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone

Have you ever been talking with someone and there is a lot being said, but not much understanding?

Last  week in the Difficult Happens Podcast private FB group, “Community Happens”  (if you haven't already, please join us), Rachel mentioned someone who got really wordy in conversations and uses “fact  slamming”.

Right away I knew what she meant, but not everyone can see it when it is happening around them, or to them.

On Today’s episode we talk about obfuscation in communication, particularly by using theRed-Herring fallacy. I’ve got some examples of how this plays out in everyday conversations and what you can do to combat it.

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• What is a fallacy
• What is Obfuscation and why is it a manipulation
• Examples of the fallacy being used in different situations
• Why it is so hard to see it when it is right in front of you
• Social media posts are a hotbed of the red herring fallacy
• What is the red-herring fallacy
• Why is it so dangerous
• How it stops discourse & true communication in its tracks
• Why people won’t cop to using it

Join the conversation - Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”

Work with Lara:

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Free Breakthrough Assessment

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie                                                                    

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/

Resources:

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

The Language of Emotions - Karla McLaren

© Lara Currie 2020

Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone

“I felt so much that I started to feel nothing” -- Lara

When we learn, we grow. In my lifetime, there have been many…. let’s say ‘opportunities for growth.’ Today is another one of those opportunities. 

Our bodies keep the score of every emotion, every feeling that we have. Stress can physically make you sick, trust me, as someone of white-Irish heritage any stress I feel, whether conscious or not, set’s off my skin. Rosacea, psoriasis, hives. I’ve got ‘em all.

You know what happens when you ignore the warning signs and when the stress becomes too much? Your body switches tactics and get’s louder. Not in the way you might think, louder in the sense that it starts to shut you down. 

Feel a lack of energy?

A little scatter-brained?

Is your mind wandering off?

Does a commercial make you cry?

Are you jumpy?

Today, I am taking my own advice and walking through the hard stuff.

Join the conversation - Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”

Work with Lara:

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Free Breakthrough Assessment

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/ 

Resources:

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

© Lara Currie 2020

Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura

Photo by Finan Akbar on Unsplash

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone

“When we know better, we do better.” -- Maya Angelou

Summary:

Anger is a powerful emotion, anger is the great protector. Anger can also be a mask for an emotion that you have but do not want to acknowledge.

By now we have all seen or heard about the Central Park woman Amy Cooper who was asked to leash her dog and proceeded to call the police and claim she was being threatened by a black man.

She claimed to have been afraid, only she knows what she was feeling. I would guess she was actually feeling embarrassed and or ashamed. Not easy emotions to feel, so instead, anger stepped in as she approached the man and tried to grab his phone, as she reefed on her dog’s collar, as she made that  911 call.

Today, I talk with you about the feels, emotions, their purpose and their gifts. I share with you  three simple things that you can do when you suspect the emotion you are feeling may be a mask

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• The real meaning of anger
• The real meaning of shame
• What gifts these emotions have
• What questions these emotions want us to ask of ourselves
• Fear and how it can also be a mask
• Trying new things
• Hold yourself accountable, and hold yourself in Grace

Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”

Work with Lara:

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Free Breakthrough Assessment

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie                                                                    

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/

Resources:

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

The Language of Emotions - Karla McLaren

© Lara Currie 2020

Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura

Photo by Finan Akbar on Unsplash

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone

“Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” -- Ford

Summary:

Have you ever had to have a difficult conversation with yourself? Change happens with us, or without and sometimes that change brings up the hard stuff. Julie Fry joined me for a “Coffee & Conversation” series that I do on my YouTube Channel to talk about deciding to sell her business, depression, Peri-menopause, and so much more.

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• Why a change was needed
• When it’s not fun anymore
• When you need outside help for depression
• How turning 50 hits
• Perimenopause
• Trying new things
• Sitting in uncertainty
• How depression shows up in different ways

Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”

Work with Lara:

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Free Breakthrough Assessment

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie                                                                    

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/

Resources:

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

© Lara Currie 2020

Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura

Photo by Bill Pennell on Unsplash

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone

"Listen to hear, not to respond.” Lara

Summary:

The simple act of listening can diffuse a tense situation.

We’ve all experienced a conversation where the other person is just waiting to respond, not really listening.

When it comes to conflict, it is almost always the case that the people involved are waiting to talk, to explain, to convince, to persuade, to justify, not to really listen and hear or understand.

Empathetic listening is a gift. In today’s episode, I go through how to listen so that you can really hear what the other person is saying and experiencing.

Open heart and nonjudgmental empathy

Remember your body Eye contact -

Listen for feelings as well as their perceived facts, try to picture what they are saying

Dont try to solve it, even in your mind

It’s okay to ask questions, to clarify, not to judge,  solve or justify. For example, ‘how did that make you feel’

It comes down to your intention, you have to want to listen,

Listen to hear, not to respond.

Leave room for silence

You can say something like, I am sorry you are going through that, that must  be hard, or painful,

‘I hear what you are saying,’

‘That gives me a lot to think about’ thank you

‘Thank you for sharing that with me,’

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• What is active listening
• Why solving the problem isn’t the point
• Empathy is a muscle that needs exercising
• What my 12-year-old daughter taught me
• Non-verbal cues
• Pay attention to your body
• Making eye contact
• The importance of an apology

Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”

Work with Lara:

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Free Breakthrough Assessment

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie                                                                    

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/

Resources:

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

© Lara Currie 2020

Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura

Photo by Alireza Attari on Unsplash

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone

We’ve come a long way baby… and there is farther to go. When it comes to gender equality, the pace of change is slow. If you are a woman in a male-dominated field, the pace of change can feel glacial, and at times, as if it will never come. 

Anger has been the moral property of males when women are angry it is a warning of indignity, threat, insult, or harm.  Expressing this anger may get you dismissed or labeled as “hysterical”. 

So what does a strong woman in a male-dominated field need in order to thrive? Tune into today’s episode and find out!

"Empowered women, empower women.”

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• Entitlement and action
• Subtle (and not so subtle) gender bias
• Stereotype driven expectations
• Self-doubt
• Expressing anger
• Peer support
• Mentorship
• Paying it forward
• Personal and Professional development
• Women in Leadership

Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”

Work with Lara:

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Free Breakthrough Assessment

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/ 

Resources:

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

Mentioned in This Episode:

Hilda Bryant

Theresa B Smith

© Lara Currie 2020

Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura

Photo by Alexandra I. on Unsplash

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone

Divorce, changing jobs, shifting friendships, or even say a nasty virus. Hard times and change are inevitable, so how do you make it through and build resilience?

When you are no stranger to dysfunction, trauma, manipulation tactics, and change, times of crises can seem almost calming. Lara Currie & Ameé Quiriconi talk about how good change can come from challenging times.

The COVID pandemic has laid bare the shortcomings and the strengths of our leadership, people's emotions are raw and with that, fear will fill the vacuum. Building resilience and creating sweeping change takes time, like turning a cruise ship in open waters, it can seem, at times, like nothing at all is changing when in fact you (we, us) are headed in a whole different direction.

From divorce to self-esteem, from nurses on the front line to historians from an earlier generation, we dive into it all.

Join us for Coffee & Conversation aired live (to tape) on YouTube

Summary:

Sometimes avoiding a tough conversation is the way to go, the ones that involve issues that work themselves out with time. Most conversations don’t. They need to be addressed, confronted, or even involve a “carefrontation”.

How do you do this? How do you have a tough conversation that you have avoided or just plain don’t want to have?

It can feel a bit daunting, and always has a physical component (racing heart anyone?) Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered with this tip.

In today’s episode, what one thing you should do to make it through a tough conversation.

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• When you live from the outside in
• Why it’s important to live from the inside out
• The importance of having only one intention
• The importance of communication
• Stress is inevitable - do this
• Your body will react
• Honesty and openness
• How thinking about something is different than speaking it
• There will be an emotional and social component
• Take your power back

Watch the Bonus episode and Subscribe for video tips YouTube

Work with Lara:

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Free Breakthrough Assessment

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie                                                                    

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/

Resources:

Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

© Lara Currie 2020

Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura

Episode Photo by

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone