Difficult Happens; Effective Communication for Bosses

Manipulative people have an arsenal of tactics they will use against you. Blame-Shifting is one of the big ones. When it is used by a boss or co-worker, it can create a toxic environment quickly, one that, if the manipulator isn’t stopped, will only get worse.

In order to combat the blame-shifters tactic, we will shine the light on the many forms of shifting blame (some, may surprise you) and what you can do about it when they try these tactics on YOU. 

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• What is Blame-Shifting
• The Manipulative tactics in action
• How a victim might be shifting the blame on you
• Why minimizing you is on the menu
• How quickly a toxic workplace can be created
• What you should never do
• What you should do when blame is shifted onto you

Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”

Work with Lara:

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Free Breakthrough Assessment

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/ 

Resources:

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

Hilarious Word Salad Video 

© Lara Currie 2020

Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura

Episode Photo by Hailey Moeller on Unsplash

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Summary:

When a manipulator starts spinning their tale it can feel like you are being tossed in a word salad!

One thing that all manipulators have in common is that they use words to obfuscate, influence and control, also known as ‘Magical Speaking’. 

Have you heard the tapes between Amber Heard and Johnny Depp? 

One thing these tapes make clear, aside from their dysfunctional relationship, is that magical speaking was used relentlessly to control the narrative and to dictate what was “really going on.”

It is words, language, that is used to Gaslight. (A form of psychological manipulation in which a person covertly sows seeds of doubt, making you question your own memory, perception, or judgment.) 

There are some classic tricks used in Magical Speaking that you should be on the lookout for, in this episode, we dive into those red-flag phrases and what you can do to protect yourself.

Bad behavior is on the rise, arm yourself with the tools you need to protect yourself against manipulative behavior.

What you’ll hear in this podcast:

• What is  Magical Speaking
• How words are used to ‘gaslight’ someone
• What to do when someone  is talking in circles
• How manipulators obfuscate the truth
• What to do when anger is used against you
• Examples of magical speaking in real life (Depp, Heard)
• 6 tactics manipulators use, along with words, to control your reactions
• What self-love has to do with it
• Why you should ignore the ‘implied’ and speak to the words instead
• The emotional toll of manipulation
• How your triggers play in

Work with Lara

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Free Breakthrough Assessment

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/ 

Resources:

The Secret Gift in Every Emotion

Your Conflict Personality Type

The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense

How to Combat Manipulative Behavior

Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura

Image for episode graphic Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash

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Oprah, Will Smith, & my Mom, all had an impact on the topic of today’s episode. Whether you have experienced a major life blow, like a divorce or a job change, or a more minor slight like a negative comment or angry road incident, it makes you mad and can be hard to get over it.

On today’s show, we talk about how to ‘Get over’ tough things and move past them to a place where you can find some peace.

You can’t control the fact that other people’s actions will impact you, but you can control what you do about it.

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• How you are impacted by others’ actions
• The difference between fault and responsibility
• What your reactions mean
• How you can ‘turn your mind’ about hard things
• How taking responsibility empowers you
• What the four agreements are 
• How  to use  the four agreements
• Time frames for moving on, yours and other peoples

Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”

Work with Lara:

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie                       

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/ 

Resources:

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

Series on Conflict Personality-Types

Mentioned in this episode:

Catch and Kill: Lies, Spies, and a Conspiracy to Protect Preditors

Will Smith; Fault vs Responsibility

Super Soul Sunday with Malcolm Gladwell

The Four Agreements

© Lara Currie 2020

Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone

No one likes that feeling of disappointing someone, or when someone didn’t live up to your expectations, this time of year, and this year in particular, there is a LOT out there to find disappointment in. Did you know that there are two types of disappointment?  

How do you tell the difference? 

Nobody likes that sinking feeling you get in your gut, yet it is a feeling we have all had. Disappointment comes in all shapes and sizes. 

So what do you do when someone is disappointed in you? Tune in and find out.

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• The disappointment you are responsible for
• When someone’s disappointment is all about them
• How expectations impact disappointment
• How to determine your responsibility
• What to do with all the feels
• Emotions and manipulation
• Your body’s reaction

Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”

Work with Lara:

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie                       

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/ 

Resources:

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

Series on Conflict Personality-Types

© Lara Currie 2020

Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone

www.difficulthappens.com

What changes have you experienced this year?

We are in a time ⏳of (that dreaded phrase) unprecedented change, some changes have led to greater awareness, some changes we will be happy to see the back of.

In this episode, we take a look at the changes 2020 has gifted us & how to have gratitude in hard times.

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• Take the good and leave the bad
• Unwelcome change
• Change and adaptation
• Welcome change
• Gratitude
• Finding happiness in unhappy times
• Embracing an attitude of gratitude

Wonder what it’s like to work with a coach? Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”

Work with Lara:

10 Tips for dealing with difficult people

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/ 

Resources:

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

Series on Conflict Personality-Types

© Lara Currie 2020

Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone

We have all made decisions that we later regret. The question is, did you learn the lesson you needed to learn from that miscellaneous regrettable decision?

Ever turned down a great job because of a shinier one on the horizon?

Have you been silent when you should have spoken up?

I have done both! In today’s episode, I share some cringe-worthy moments that impact me to this day and I tell you all about them, what I learned, and what I would do differently today.

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• Trusting your gut
• What I have learned from my miscellaneous regrettable decisions
• Trust your gut
• Not saying yes, and not saying no
• What is regret
• Why you should look back at those embarrassing moments
• How the martyr works
• Graceful detachment
• Redirecting behavior
• The power of what you can control
• The verbal processor
• What to say
• How we react
• The conflict triangle, triangulation

Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”

Work with Lara:

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie                                                                     

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/

Resources:

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

Series on Conflict Personality-Types

Newsworthy

Tina Mitchell Lunch & Learn

© Lara Currie 2020

Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone

Think positively, everything happens for a reason, the Universe will take care of it, it will all just magically disappear, it will go away.

Have you noticed this type of messaging out there? These vapid empty platitudes, in essence, say absolutely nothing.

Toxic positivity is cropping up all over the nation right now, I’m sure you’ve seen it on your news feed or on your social sites. I have witnessed it in my friend groups and from our leaders.

How can positivity be toxic? The research on positive psychology shows us that it can be very beneficial to our mind, health, and development. Positive psychology focuses on things like resilience, strengths building, looking at functional and dysfunctional systems. In the right hands, used the right way it can be a healthy lens to interpret & improve thought patterns or thought habits & re-evaluate dysfunctional systems. It can lead to effective tools that you can use in your own personal toolbox and in your personal growth journey.

Toxic positivity is the push for a mental state in which we only experience and show positive emotions. It is a tendency to react to others suffering and struggles with reductive statements of positivity. It is telling people that they are their own source of their suffering, or that they brought it on themselves, it is filled with pseudo motivational messaging in a sing-songy cadence of cultish hypnotic dismissal. The use of positive psychology In the wrong hands is dismissive, belittling, and manipulative.

This is how manipulators get in the door, toxic people are masters at using the love and light positivity language to manipulate you.

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• What is toxic positivity
• What is positive psychology
• What is the difference
• When motivation goes wrong
• How manipulators use positivity
• Too much of a good think
• Platitudes and attitudes
• Ignorance & gaslighting

Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”

Work with Lara:

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie                                                                     

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/

Resources:

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

Series on Conflict Personality-Types

© Lara Currie 2020

Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone

There are markers along the timeline of our lives. Moments that mark a change, a significant event, or a vivid memory. Like anchors that signify that after this moment, we became different than we were in the moments before.

Holding your child for the first time, when a loved one dies, quitting a job you needed but could no longer tolerate.

When sh*t gets real every animal instinct that we have focuses like the Eye of Sauron on the moment and our brains take note of every emotion, every sense, all the data it can find for its databanks. This is how resilience is born - through experiencing some ‘ish.

How do you thrive while being flooded with endorphins and instinctually being thrown into a choice to fight, flee, freeze, or appease?

A Code Lavender can help.

This code is an intervention that is used when challenging situations threaten unit stability, personal emotional equilibrium, or professional functioning. Code Lavender uses evidence-based relaxation and restoration interventions to help people make enough sense out of the situation to let more lasting solutions emerge later. This doesn’t prevent burnout or stress instead it is akin to psychological first aid.

Reply to this email & tell me, What will you put in your Code Lavender kit??

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• What happens when what your experiencing is too much
• How we react to trauma
• What is resilience
• How do you thrive in tough times
• How can a code lavender help
• What is a code lavender
• How it can apply to your home life
• When the turmoil is internal
• Building strong teams

WAHOO - Its Retreat time! Join me for the first-ever Virtual Retreat PILLARS OF AN EMPOWERED LIFE

Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”

Work with Lara:

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie                                                                     

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/

Resources:

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

Series on Conflict Personality-Types

© Lara Currie 2020

Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone

Some people just push your buttons, but why?

Manipulators are masters at it, toxic people do it, and those with immature or dysfunctional communication styles both push your buttons and get defensive.

Have you ever thought about what is really going on when your mood instantly changes and someone drives you up a wall, rattles your cage or peeves you off?

We all get triggered, it’s part of the great landscape that is the tapestry of our lives. Sometimes we recognize it and sometimes we don’t.

As leaders, coworkers, friends or employees it’s important that we strive for healthy reactions, but as whole human beings sometimes, we fall short. Today we take a look at why people are triggered so that you can have the skills to respond effectively.

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• What is a trigger
• The four most common types of triggered reactions
• The seed of truth
• How this relates to communication
• Dysfunctional and functional responses
• Emotional triggered reactions (small t trigger)
• The words you say, and those you don’t
• What you are talking about and why its important
• Where you are at and how that plays in
• What to do about it

WAHOO - Its Retreat time! Join me for the first-ever Virtual Retreat PILLARS OF AN EMPOWERED LIFE

Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”

Work with Lara:

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Free Breakthrough Consultation

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie                                                                    

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/

Resources:

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

Series on Conflict Personality-Types

© Lara Currie 2020

Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone

When you work in an ego infused male-dominated field it can be hard to thrive. How do you build resilience while thriving in adversity?

My guest today, Ashley Fox, is one of the NFL’s most well-respected journalists and a trailblazer in the ego-infused world of sports media. During her 24-year career, including 7 years as a lead NFL reporter and analyst for ESPN.

Ashley has covered the Summer Olympics, Wimbledon, the Super Bowl, the NBA Finals, the Final Four, the World Series, the Stanley Cup Finals, and the PGA Championship. 

She joins me to talk about building resilience, reaching your goals in adversity, and the 5 ways to be a winner at work. All that, and she just got over the COVID 19 Virus!

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• How adversity builds resilience
• Why in tough times the biggest lessons can be learned
• What true accountability means
• Thriving as a woman in a male-dominated field
• Reaching your goals
• How to be a winner at work

Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”

Guest Links

Ashley Fox

Work with Lara:

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Free Breakthrough Assessment

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie                                                                    

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/

Resources:

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

Series on Conflict Personality-Types

© Lara Currie 2020

Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone