Difficult Happens; Effective Communication for Bosses

Have you ever used the phrase "I'm not like other women"?  More often than not, we use this phrase to really say, "I'm not like the stereotype that has been placed on women."

Spoiler alert - none of us are. 

Women have been trained to be the caretakers of other people's feelings, and when we deviate from that, especially professionally, it can lead to women being viewed as a "Queen Bee." This myth often portrays strong women as the Miranda type boss from The Devils Wear Prada, which normalizes the behavior.

The truth is, there is no evidence that senior women are more or less helpful to junior women than their male counterparts. 

Why does this myth persist? Not for the reasons you may think.

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• Are women tougher on other women?
• The evolution of women in business
• "When Meanness was Celebrated" by Shirly Li
• Queen Bee myth
• Why we view women more harshly
• How generational life experiences play a role.

Work with Lara:

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/ 

Resources:

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

Series on Conflict Personality-Types

Difficult Happens Squad:

https://difficulthappens.com/squad-membership/

When Meanness Was Celebrated:

https://www.theatlantic.com/culture/archive/2021/04/scott-rudin/618569/

The immortal and false myth of the workplace queen bee:

https://theconversation.com/the-immortal-and-false-myth-of-the-workplace-queen-bee-129680

© Lara Currie 2021

Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone

“In order to build a rewarding employee experience, you need to understand what matters to your people.”  -- Julie Bevacqua

How good are you at reading the room? Do you consider yourself to be a Workplace Meteorologist, someone who is able to read the temperature? Or do you need a little assistance to see the writing on the wall?

When working with those in an already heightened emotional state, it is important to have self-awareness and realize when you are being triggered. Defensiveness begets defensiveness.

On part two of two, Patti Perez from Persuasion Point Inc and the Drama Free Workplace Podcast joins us to talk about her experience with drama in the workplace and her insights after 20 years of workplace investigations.

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• Conflict in the workplace
• What a Workplace Meteorologist is
• How context can impact situations
• Over-sharers
• Healthy workplace cultures
• Subconscious complicit bias
• What HR is

Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”

Work with Lara:

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie                                                                    

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/

Resources:

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

Series on Conflict Personality-Types

Difficult Happens Squad:

https://difficulthappens.com/squad-membership/

Patti Perez - Drama Free Workplace Podcast:

https://persuasionpoint.com/podcast/

164: Drama in the workplace with Patti Perez, part 1

https://difficulthappens.com/164/

© Lara Currie 2021

Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone

“Most misunderstandings in the world could be avoided if people would simply take the time to ask, "What else could this mean?” -- Shannon L. Alder

Summary:

Drama in the workplace is inevitable.

Sometimes situations don't seem fair. How many times have you seen or know of someone who received a promotion or a raise at work and can't help but wonder why? What about being rejected for a position because you didn't fit their "workplace culture"?

Patti Perez from Persuasion Point Inc and the Drama Free Workplace Podcast joins us for this first, two-part podcast discussing her experience with workplace drama. Patti has conducted over 1200 workplace investigations over the last 20 years, giving us insight into workplace drama, patterns and themes, and workplace culture.

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• Patti Perez
• Dismissal and justification of workplace drama
• Women in the workplace
• Personality Types
• Culture and its different meanings
• Culture Fit
• Fairness
• The meaning of words and what's behind them

Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”

Work with Lara:

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie                                                                    

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/

Resources:

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

Series on Conflict Personality-Types

Difficult Happens Squad:

https://difficulthappens.com/squad-membership/

Patti Perez - Drama Free Workplace Podcast:

https://persuasionpoint.com/podcast/

© Lara Currie 2021

Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”  -- Brené Brown

Opening our true selves and exposing our thoughts, dreams, and shames can be a frightening experience.

Trading our comfort for courage and opening ourselves up to public judgement often leads us to a Vulnerability Hangover.

The Vulnerability Hangover was coined by Brene Brown to describe the feelings that wash over us after sharing publicly and stem from shame and vulnerability.

We subconsciously and continually seek out acceptance, reverting to our primal selves where group survival was critical. That's why showing our vulnerable, true selves can be so frightening.

In my TED-style talk with Speaking Your Brand's Thought Leadership Summit, Echos of a free-range childhood, I shared a vulnerable story about a traumatic time in my life and how I reclaimed my power, afterwards, emotions washed over me and led to a Vulnerability Hangover.

Here’s how I worked through it, and how you can too.

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• What is vulnerability?
• The Vulnerability Hangover
• The courage of being vulnerable
• Echos of a free-range childhood
• The cathartic feeling of being vulnerable
• How to deal with a Vulnerability Hangover
• Empowerment Pillar Four, Refresh

Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”

Work with Lara:

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie                                                                    

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/

Podcast 162 - Refresh with Dysfunctional Affirmations:

https://difficulthappens.com/162/

Resources:

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

Series on Conflict Personality-Types

Difficult Happens Squad:

https://difficulthappens.com/squad-membership/

Subscribe - 10 Tips on how to deal with difficult people and sticky situations:

https://difficulthappens.com/10tips/

Carol Cox - Speaking Your Brand:

https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/

Brene Brown:

https://brenebrown.com/

Brene Brown: Listening to Shame:

https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame?language=en

© Lara Currie 2021

Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone

Have you ever been scrolling through Facebook or Instagram and see those little affirmation posts? What’s your first reaction? Have you tried them and found that they don't really work for you? 

You're not alone.

Affirmations for self-care, love affirmations, black women empowerment affirmations, etc., are some of the most popular "affirmation for" searches on Google. 

Why don't you see affirmations for dysfunctional people? Dysfunctional affirmations are for those whose first reaction to seeing motivational quotes is to roll their eyes (figuratively or literally) more often than not, it’s because you were raised in dysfunction. 

This is where pillar four of the Empowerment Pillar Model comes in; Refresh. 

Refresh your body, mind, and sense of self. Anyone who has experienced some ‘ish, dealt with a manipulator or breathed air, needs time to repair because your body keeps the score of every emotion you feel.

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• What are affirmations
• What refresh means
• Self-care
• Toxic positivity
• What refreshing involves
• Three dysfunctional affirmations

Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”

Work with Lara:

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/ 

Podcast 159 - Recognize what’s really going on when Blame is an issue:

https://difficulthappens.com/159/

Podcast 160 - Reclaim Your Power; Breaking Up Is Hard To Do:

https://difficulthappens.com/160-2/

Podcast 161 - Restore - Essential Boundaries For Bosses

https://difficulthappens.com/161-2/

Podcast 139 - When Positivity is Toxic

https://difficulthappens.com/139-2/

Resources:

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

Series on Conflict Personality-Types

Difficult Happens Squad

https://difficulthappens.com/squad-membership/

Carol Cox - Speaking Your Brand

https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/

“Boundaries are a part of self-care. They are healthy, normal, and necessary.”

-- Doreen Virtue

Do you ever feel like you’re being taken advantage of? A coworker, boss, or even a friend asks more and more of you. It could be anything from your time, work product, or even your attention that they seek and when you tell them no, they keep pushing. You don’t really want to, but you feel pressured, and you say yes anyway because you don’t want to be rude.        

This is a classic manipulation technique where manipulators will slowly chip away at your boundaries overtime to get the attention they need from you. 

This is where the third step of my Pillar of Empowerment framework comes in; Restore.

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• The Empowered Pillar Model
• What boundaries are
• The four main types of boundaries
• The four different boundary levels
• Micro-boundaries
• Signs of weak boundaries
• How guilt plays into boundary breaches
• Emotional vampires

Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”

Work with Lara:

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie                                                                    

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/

Podcast 159 - Recognize what’s really going on when Blame is an issue:

https://difficulthappens.com/159/

Podcast 160 - Reclaim Your Power; Breaking Up Is Hard To Do:

https://difficulthappens.com/160/

Resources:

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

Series on Conflict Personality-Types

Difficult Happens Squad

https://difficulthappens.com/squad-membership/

© Lara Currie 2021

Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone

“Our authentic power is found in our truth. This is the place that shows us how to give what is so very good about ourselves.” -- Jeanne McElvaney

Now that you can recognize dysfunctional situations and manipulation tactics, What do you do?

Well, now you work on reclaiming your power! Out of each of the Four Pillars of Empowerment, reclaiming is probably the most difficult one for people to do. Reclaiming your power, your internal self, space, and your own narrative takes time, and (that often overused word) Intention.

Reclaiming comes from practice and learning what works for you!

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• The Four Pillars of Empowerment
• What reclaiming your power means.
• Story: Sally and Juliette
• Conflict Personality Types
• "Shiney" talk.
• Women Helping Women Fund Tri-Cities.

Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”

Work with Lara:

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie                                                                    

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/

Podcast 159 - Recognize what’s really going on when Blame is an issue:

https://difficulthappens.com/159/

Resources:

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

Series on Conflict Personality-Types

Difficult Happens Squad

https://difficulthappens.com/squad-membership/

Women Helping Women Fund Tri-Cities:

http://www.whwftc.org

© Lara Currie 2021

Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone

“Blame is a clever trickster. At its root, blame is a form of fear that helps us avoid accountability for our lives.”  -- Debbie Ford

Can’t help but wonder why someone refuses to accept doing something wrong, even something small? 

When blaming a person or system, your assigning responsibility for a fault or a wrong. However, feelings of fear or embarrassment can cause someone to go on the defensive and try to blameshift.

It takes personal growth and development to determine why people act and react the way they do. It takes some guessing and is not always black and white. 

Difficult Situations can arise with different people in different situations and it can be hard to figure out what scenario you are in and what approach you should take. The Squad is there to help you navigate these situations.

The Squad Membership works off the four empowered pillars of recognize, reclaim, restore, and refresh. We act and react in a way for a reason, that is why it is so important to understand why someone is going on the defensive and blame-shifting.

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• The Empowered Pillar Model
• What blame is
• Recognizing blame
• Types of blame
• When blame is used
• Fear, shame, and embarrassment 
• Being shamed
• Black and white thinking

Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”

Work with Lara:

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/ 

Resources:

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

Series on Conflict Personality-Types

Difficult Happens Squad

https://difficulthappens.com/squad-membership/

© Lara Currie 2021

Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone

“With a new day comes new strength and new thoughts.” 

-- Eleanor Roosevelt 

Guess what?! 

This is a very special episode of Difficult Happens because I am celebrating The 3 YEAR Anniversary since starting the podcast!

With your support, we have made it to over 100 thousand downloads. In the beginning, I jumped in with both feet trying to give everything in the first year to help people reclaim their own power and self-esteem.  

It is exciting to see more people becoming more aware of what dysfunctional discourse looks like. 

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• What I learned
• What I did wrong
• What I did right
• How I started in Season 1
• Coming into my own in Season 2
• Discussing the Four Empowered Pillars in Season 3
• Where the podcast is going from here

Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”

Work with Lara:

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/ 

Resources:

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

Series on Conflict Personality-Types

Episode 21: Julie Fry - Scaling, Communicating, and Change

https://difficulthappens.com/21-scaling-communicating-and-change/

Personality Tests Episodes 39 - 42

Episode 39: The DISC

https://difficulthappens.com/39-the-disc/

Episode 40: Enneagram

https://difficulthappens.com/40-the-enneagram/

Episode 41: How to Fascinate and The Clifton Strengths Finder

https://difficulthappens.com/41-fascinate-strengths/

Episode 42: Triggers and The FIRO B

https://difficulthappens.com/42-triggers-the-firo-b/

Carol Cox: Speaking Your Brand Podcast

https://www.speakingyourbrand.com

© Lara Currie 2021

Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone

Ever wonder how you can become more productive? You schedule your tasks every day and try to balance your time but fall short of your goals. 

There are three things that entrepreneurs know to help be more productive from understanding cycles to the impact of task-shifting.

Entrepreneurs are a unique type of leader, they have learned when to shift between roles and the ways that they can be more productive in their work without sacrificing their mental health.

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

• The difference between leadership and management
• The myth of balance
• Task shifting versus batching
• Being more productive
• Speaking Your Brand Event
• What Entrepreneurs aren’t the greatest at 

Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”

Work with Lara:

Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!

Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation

Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected]

Corporate Training

Difficult Happens by Lara Currie

Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/ 

Resources:

Series on Manipulation

Series on Assessments

Series on Conflict Personality-Types

Speaking Your Brand; Brave, Bold, and Beyond Virtual Event

https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/summit/

Cal Newport; Deep Work

https://www.calnewport.com/books/deep-work/

© Lara Currie 2021

Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music

Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone