When a disagreement in front of others gets difficult, there’s a simple remedy for avoiding two common pitfalls such conversations bring with them.

Find the transcript with links here.

To receive transcripts of new episodes automatically, subscribe at tammylenski.com/subscribe/.

Deflecting blame, denying responsibility, and minimizing negative impact are defensive behaviors that make problem-solving conversations frustrating. To reduce defensiveness and increase their willingness to take responsibility, use this research-supported approach when you confront.

Find the transcript with links here.

To receive transcripts of new episodes automatically, subscribe at tammylenski.com/subscribe/.

Better conflict resolution habits don’t start with learning a new approach and then trying it in your next difficult conversation. Just as you wouldn’t start running and try a marathon the following week, better conflict resolution habits begin with a slow, steady build. Here are some ways to start strong and build from there.

Find the transcript with links here.

To receive transcripts of new episodes automatically, subscribe at tammylenski.com/subscribe/.

When we argue, and particularly when we argue with loved ones and colleagues — those with whom we are in ongoing relationship — the argument has three threads at its core. It doesn’t matter what we’re arguing about; those three threads are there. When we attend to those three threads, we set the stage for a much better conversation.

Find the transcript with links here.

To receive transcripts of new episodes automatically, subscribe at tammylenski.com/subscribe/.

Sometimes the best comeback after an insult -- the comeback that actually does something for us instead of to them -- is no comeback at all, as the following Zen koan so beautifully illustrates.

Find the transcript with links here.

To receive transcripts of new episodes automatically, subscribe at tammylenski.com/subscribe/.

The Space Between is now called Disagree Better

When we want to reduce animosity and increase empathy toward a group or individual, we may try perspective-taking, the act of trying to stand in their shoes and view the situation from their perspective. But what if there’s something even more powerful for the job?

Find the transcript with links here.

To receive transcripts of new episodes automatically, subscribe at tammylenski.com/subscribe/.

A subscriber emailed me with the question, “How do I know when I’ve figured out the real problem or issue?” It’s a question worth unpacking and I have an alternative question to propose.

Find the transcript with links here.

To receive transcripts of new episodes automatically, subscribe at tammylenski.com/subscribe/.

Five ways to stop "less-than"-ing during conflict and conflict resolution.

To receive transcripts of new episodes automatically, subscribe at tammylenski.com/subscribe/.

Conflict spirals are patterns of friction or tension that worsen over time. Distancing spirals are a particularly insidious form of conflict spiral because they cause relationship damage while we think we’re doing nothing wrong at all.

Find the transcript with links here.

To receive transcripts of new episodes automatically, subscribe at tammylenski.com/subscribe/.