Discovering Our Scars

Steph and Beth bring their five-year podcast journey to an end. They’ve shared a lot of honest conversations over the years and invited you to bring that conversation into your own life. This episode is no exception. Steph and Beth have shared the stories of their scars, but what stories do your scars tell?

Questions for Reflection

1. What is the last chapter of your life you turned the page on? Was it your choice?
2. What has changed in your life over the last 5 years?
3. Do you have a favorite Discovering Our Scars podcast episode? 
4. If you were to start a podcast, what would it be about?

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Scars can be beautiful. The injuries that cause them might be terrible, but a scar is beautiful because it is proof of healing and growth. In this episode, Steph and Beth listen to and discuss chapter 15 of Steph’s memoir. The chapter is titled, “Beautiful Scars.” Steph’s journey has not been easy and writing and sharing her story brought its own challenges. In the end, the effort was worth it because so much beauty grew out of the process and the final product. The book ends with the question at the heart of this podcast: What stories do your scars tell? Are you willing to hear them? Come back and join us for episode 160 where we explore that question further and bring the podcast to its conclusion.

Buy Discovering My Scars
Audiobook: https://amzn.to/2XCe9a3
Paperback: https://amzn.to/2O4U5dh
ebook: https://amzn.to/2r8mPsA

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They say “love makes the world go ‘round,” but what is love? What does it mean to love someone? Steph and Beth reflect on their experiences and delve into why love is more than something we feel—it’s something we do.

Show Notes
Steph's day with her foster greyhound video

Questions for Reflection

1. Who do you feel love for in your life? 
2. How do you show love for those people?
3. Can  you show love for someone you dislike? 
4. How do you show yourself love? 

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More than ten years ago, Steph and her mom were painting a room in Steph’s house when a thought passed through Steph’s mind, “How cool would it be if Home Depot paid us to paint my house?” A few years later, that fleeting thought became a reality. Steph’s DIY hobby converged with her love and talent for video production to become her full-time job. From a college student dealing with life by using unhealthy coping mechanisms, to a self-employed full-time content creator was quite a journey. Steph tells her story in her memoir, Discovering My Scars. In this episode, she and Beth listen to and discuss chapter 14, “Found.” 

 Questions for Reflection :

1. Have you ever dreamed of turning your hobby into a job? Have you done it? Why or why not?  
2. If you were going to be a content creator, what would your content be focused on? 
3. Have you ever had a fleeting thought about something that seemed impossible but later came to pass? 
4. Steph created her business alongside her mom, Vicki. Would you be able to create a business with your mom? Why or why not?

Buy Discovering My Scars
Audiobook: https://amzn.to/2XCe9a3
Paperback: https://amzn.to/2O4U5dh
ebook: https://amzn.to/2r8mPsA

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In this episode, special guest Tracy shares her experience as a Christian who happens to be gay. When Tracy  “came out,” she struggled to reconcile her sexuality with her belief in Christ. Like many, she was raised to believe that homosexuality and Christianity were incompatible and yet, both existed in her very person. Tracy dove into Bible study and she found that when she was honest about who she was created to be, her relationship with God only grew deeper and stronger. This is an engaging, and deeply personal, testimony about one person’s realization that God made her, accepted her, and loved her, even when the church tried to convince her otherwise. 

Show notes:

• How Pride Became Personal, Episode 139
• 1946 the movie
• Doing Justice Together Book
• A Distinctly Wesleyan Spirit-Led Movement of New Christian Communities that Serve the Present Age Book

Questions for Reflection: 

1. Reflect on Tracy’s story. What resonated with you? 
2. Is there something about yourself or a part of your life that you’ve been afraid to explore? 
3. How do you interact with the LGBTQ community? 
4. What would you say to someone who thinks Christianity and homosexuality are incompatible?

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• Facebook
• TikTok
• Midweek Grind Facebook
• Midweek Grind IG

Steph and Beth originally met at work where they did a step study, working through all 12 steps together. In this episode they listen to and discuss chapter 13 of Steph’s memoir, Discovering My Scars, where Steph talks about the revelations of abuse that came from working the fourth step, making a searching and fearless moral inventory. 

Use these Questions for Reflection to apply this episode in your own life:

1. Have you ever taken an inventory of your life? Would you consider it and where would you start?
2. Do you have a quirk like Steph’s aversion to sticky things? Where do you think it comes from?
3. Have you ever been harmed by a family member or someone you trusted? 
4. Do you tend to focus on the positive or negative things in life? Do you want that to change?
5. Reflect on a miracle moment you’ve experienced in your life. 

Buy Discovering My Scars
Audiobook: https://amzn.to/2XCe9a3
Paperback: https://amzn.to/2O4U5dh
ebook: https://amzn.to/2r8mPsA

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Although we sometimes say that people can’t or don’t change, the truth is, life is all about change. Hopefully, we are always growing and learning so that we can become a better version of ourselves. Beth was recently going through a box of memories and found a bumper sticker declaring her to be a proud member of an organization she would never support in any form these days! She and Steph reflect on all sorts of (mostly) positive changes from the last several years.

Use these Questions for Reflection to apply this episode to your own life:
(1) Do you believe people can change? Have you changed?
(2) Are you the same person you were in high school? Would the high school version of yourself recognize you today?
(3) If you could forecast the next five or ten years of your life, what changes do you think you might see?
(4) Do people hold us back from growing up?

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Steph
Beth

Chances are good that you’ve heard of “The Twelve Steps.” These are often discussed in the context of addiction recovery, but Steph and Beth both learned a lot by walking the steps as part of a step study. Each step helps you address those hurts, habits, and hangups that get in your way. It was a helpful process for them in that season of life. In this episode, Steph and Beth listen to and discuss chapter 12 of Steph’s memoir and share some of their memories beyond what’s captured in the book. 

Questions for Reflection:
(1) What are your hurts, habits, or hang-ups? 
(2) Who are the people in your life who keep you accountable? Have you been intentional about developing accountability partners? 
(3) Is there something you found beneficial in the past that you wouldn’t participate in now? 
(4) Reflect on someone who was in your life for only a season. What was the impact that person made on you? Why did that season end?  

Show notes:
Episode 14: Invisible Scars, What We Discover in Recovery (with Lori K.)

Buy Discovering My Scars
Audiobook: https://amzn.to/2XCe9a3
Paperback: https://amzn.to/2O4U5dh
ebook: https://amzn.to/2r8mPsA

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At age 36, Steph discovered something important about herself--she is a lesbian. Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about how heteronormativity, especially in the church, delayed Steph’s full awareness of who she is created to be. 

Questions for Reflection:
(1) Do you think people are born queer? 
(2) How have church and society influenced your understanding of who you are? 
(3) Would the you of ten years ago recognize yourself today? What might surprise you? 
(4) Do you care what the Bible says about homosexuality? Why or why not?

Show notes:
Episode 139, How PRIDE Became Personal
Dr. Steve Harper’s book, Holy Love
www.1946themovie.com

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Steph
Beth

Steph and Beth continue to listen to the audiobook version of Steph’s memoir, Discovering My Scars, and discuss what is revealed in chapter 11.

At the end of the episode, Steph and Beth offer you these Questions for Reflection:
(1) Have you had the experience of knowing only the next right step? What was that like?
(2) Reflect on the transitions in your life. What is it like when a transition isn’t attached to a life event like graduating from school? 
(3) Have you ever had a God-moment (or sense of knowing) like Steph had on the beach?
(4) What does having faith mean to you?

Buy Discovering My Scars
Audiobook: https://amzn.to/2XCe9a3
Paperback: https://amzn.to/2O4U5dh
ebook: https://amzn.to/2r8mPsA

Steph: https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com
Beth: http://bethdemme.com