Divorce Doula: Let's Talk Family Law

We covered the grief a person feels when they go through divorce. We covered so many feelings and awarenesses that people undergo- this is for sure a great listen!

What to post w Chaz DD post:

Here are some key topics we cover in our discussion:

-         

-         

-         

-         

Here are some weeds we get into:

-         

-         

-         

Here are the key family law topics we covered:

-         

-         

List of

Listen to learn what obligations are currently in place if you live in Louisiana and are married without a prenuptial agreement. I've provided several yellow flag issues to ensure that married couples start communicating well to have better relationship. These yellow flag issues also serve as warnings for what will be tough to deal with in a divorce. Spoiler: auto ownership and insurance, retirement, and mortgage payments are a few major discussion topics for every married couple to be on the same page about. Also- for the financial minds out there, and to help all the other minds get on the financial vocab page- this covers income/expenses v. assets/debts very clearly. It's so important to let your mind keep these concepts separate even though they are related. You got this! xoxo, Claire

How to best help your lawyer prepare you for court!  What do you do sitting in the halls of the courthouse? Should you bring your support system to court? How do clients stay engaged in their case? Remember to read docs before signing them :) 

Claire Edwards, family law attorney, and Paige Beyt, estate planning and successions attorney, discuss community property, blended families, and best practices for handling all of this.

In this episode, Claire and Michelle bring back the topic of communication to discuss in deeper detail John Gottman's four horsemen, and what to do what they ride into conflict.

In this episode, Claire and Michelle talk about some destructive behaviors that commonly show up in communication and conflict that can be understood through underlying motivation or fear, and related to the bigger picture of personality types or even personality disorders. The emphasis is that, regardless of whether it is just a person behaving a certain way, a person with a particular type of personality, or a person with an actual personality disorder diagnosis (or all the determinant criteria for), all we have to work with, personally and legally, is the behavior. 

In this episode, Claire and Michelle talk about the very technical issue of building a parenting plan for the best interest of the child and how important it is to consider work schedules. This consideration goes beyond when parents are and are not available and extends to thinking about what type of schedule the parent works (for example, regular 9 to 5, shift-based, call-based, 14 and 14, teacher) and how much consistency and flexibility there is in that schedule. Within that, there are other considerations such as work start and stop times, whether there is a busy season, what the work itself is like, and what the time before and after work looks like (or during, if you work from home or have take-home work such as grading or charting). This conversation is based around research that supports the idea that custody is a time to bring structure into work schedules because findings point to consistent and flexible schedules being best for caregiving, affecting both the quantity and quality of time spent with children. With this, the emphasis is on being honest with the self about work schedules and being willing and able to objectively communicate that reality and the consequential needs to the attorney, other parent, boss, and co-workers.

Communication shows up in all relationships, whether romantic, friendly, work, or family. It is a huge part of what makes relationships successful, and on the flipside is a huge part of why relationships fail. When relationships fail, especially marriages or those involving children, there is lots of important stuff left to communicate about, and possibly for the long haul. This can be a daunting task for two people who were struggling to communicate in the first place, and who, in addition to communicating with each other, will need to be communicating with professionals such as their attorney. Claire and Michelle talk about what ineffective communication looks like, as well as unproductive behaviors within communication that, let's be honest, we are all perpetrators and/or victims of. Also discussed are strategies for deflection, de-escalation, or simply avoidance of shots fired (or of firing shots) so as to stay self-aware and on task in important conversations. 

In this informative episode, Michelle asks Claire and special guest Karaline Ortego (a life coach and co-parent strategist) questions about Interdisciplinary Collaborative Divorce. What is it and how is it different from any other process of divorce? Where does one begin, and then where do they go from there? Are there individuals who would benefit from collaborative divorce more than others? Does it affect the timeline of divorce, or anything else about it? What are some other advantages and disadvantages? Claire and Karaline answer these questions from their experience in their respective backgrounds, as well as their experience with the development of and involvement with the Collaborative Divorce Group of Lafayette.