In today’s episode, Minnesota Mediation Trainer Dan Simon talks about what it means to be a transformative mediator. He discusses what that means when working with clients and how it leaves them feeling empowered in their decisions. Dan dives into how he handles escalated conversations and creates space and light for clients to work through difficult decisions. Lastly, Dan tells us about his book Self Determination in Mediation and how it can help those outside the mediation field. Tune in today for some amazing mediation tips.

In this episode:

[1:29] Dan shares his history as a mediator. [6:39] What is transformative mediation? [9:46] Is the best part of transformative mediation when clients come up with an agreement? [12:07] Should a mediator share ideas they’ve seen with other clients or just let the clients figure out what they should do on their own? [14:53] How Dan handles an escalated conversation. [18:09] How Dan splits his time between mediation and teaching. [18:40] Dan tells us about his book, Self Determination in Mediation. 

Key Takeaways:

Mirrors and lights are used in transformative mediation. People can look in the mirror at themselves and see what they are projecting, creating space and light for individuals to breathe. A mediator should not be telling a couple what to do. Mediators are there to throw ideas around and help facilitate a dynamic conversation, not to ultimately tell clients what to do. We need to realize that we have power, aren't victims of each other, and don’t have to victimize each other. It's so important to learn to listen to other people’s points of view.

Quotes:

“Anybody who has studied communication or psychology or human relationships of any kind gets it that if we want to get to a better place, that's going to involve talking to each other.” - Dan Simon

“It’s actually the clients that are going to come up with the best agreements.” - Dan Simon

“Always be watching the clients to see if there is anything triggering them that maybe wouldn't trigger me because it's about them.” - Lesa Koski

“In this day in age where there's so much conflict, and there is so much belief in the fact that you're right and another person is wrong. I think we can all learn how to be mediators.” - Lesa Koski

Guest Bio:

Dan teaches transformative mediation in MN and CA and published the book Self Determination in Mediation with Tara West.

Resources:

Self-Determination in Mediation Book

Simon Mediation

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa Koski Online Courses

Mentioned in this episode:

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