Friday, 29 December 2017.
Welcome in to episode 8 of Divorce Sux the podcast.
This is the second of the 2-part series on ‘deciding to divorce’.
In this episode, we discuss six practical steps you can take to get the ball rolling on your divorce journey.
Step 1. How much effort are you going to put into your divorce? (01:34)
• Are you the kind of person who needs to ‘know’ all the detail?
• Or would you prefer that a trusted expert take care of the finer details?
Step 2. Is the relationship with your soon to be ex ‘high conflict’ or ‘low conflict’? (05:09)
Step 3. What is your divorce goal? (06:23)
• Do you want an amicable divorce?
• Do you want all that you can get?
• Do you want it to be over and done with quickly?
• Do you want sole custody of the kids?
Step 4. Make a plan to achieve your goal. (10:25)
As part of your planning process, you need to consider what will be the main areas of contention, which can include:
• The marital property - do you intend to remain in the property?
• Division of assets - do you have a clear sense of all the marital assets?
• Debt - are you aware of all of it?
• Childcare and living arrangements - where do you intend for the kids to live?
• Parenting - can you agree on the big ticket items with your soon to be ex?
• Income and pensions - is there a significant difference in earnings and pensions?
Step 5. Validate the plan. (14:22)
At this stage, you need to speak to those you trust to validate the plan. This is where you need divorce advice from divorce experts.
Six points to consider (15:41)
1. Figure out what you can afford
2. Ask people you trust about who they have worked with
3. Do some research - focus on the content, not the delivery
4. Try to figure out how each professional service aligns to your divorce goal and plan.
5. Once you’ve drawn up a shortlist, make a list of questions to ask before you interview anyone - Ann E Grant has compiled a list of the ‘top ten questions to ask your divorce attorney in the initial interview’
6. Interview more than one provider
Remember, the end game here is finding someone you trust to represent your interests.
At a minimum, you need to be able to confidently answer ‘Yes’ to these five questions post interview. (21:11)
1. Are they experienced?
2. Do they have a track record of success?
3. Will they listen to and work with you?
4. Are you convinced that they can deliver on their promises?
5. And do you like them?
Because if you like them, on a long enough timeline, you will trust them especially if they deliver against their promises.
Step 6. Implement the plan. (25:18)
Show resources:
• High-conflict people article: http://bit.ly/2BQUdo7
• Ann E Grant article: http://bit.ly/2lkwI0z
• Karen Covy article: http://bit.ly/2zN6MyR
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Divorce Sux: a dad’s journey through marriage breakdown and divorce.
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Show theme music:
The Battle by DJ Quads https://youtu.be/xQrjkFoGbq4
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