Divorced & Dating Podcast

Sometimes the biggest dating red flags aren’t big at all. They’re the little comments that make you pause, the subtle competition, or that uncomfortable feeling that you’re starting to make yourself smaller just to keep someone interested.

This week on Divorced & Dating, Kat and Michelle share real stories from their dating lives about the moments when promising new relationships started to feel a little off.

From a man who criticized Michelle’s time volunteering with her kids to one who called Kat vain for wanting to get in shape, we’re talking about the little comments that can reveal bigger compatibility problems.

We also get into dating someone who sees you as competition instead of a teammate, why women are conditioned to want to be chosen, the difference between masculine and feminine dating dynamics, and how to recognize a partner who genuinely brings out the best in you.

And because dating after divorce shouldn’t be all red flags and relationship analysis, we’re bringing back a little teenage romance. Think long makeout sessions, holding hands, thoughtful gestures, and having fun without worrying about where every date is going.

Because at this stage of life, shouldn’t dating be more fun, not less?

In this episode:

• How small comments can reveal bigger relationship problems
• Recognizing when you’re shrinking yourself to keep someone happy
• Why a partner should be your teammate, not your competition
• Masculine and feminine energy: two different perspectives
• The importance of responding to bids for connection
• Why dating after divorce should feel a little more like being 16 again

Other things we mention in this episode:

The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists ― A Provocative Memoir on Male Dating Subculture and Seduction by Neil Strauss: https://link.amazon/B029s1z2B

The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships by John M Gottman, PhD: https://link.amazon/B0451N1hp

Divorced & Dating, hosted by Katherine Brown and Michelle Yoswa. New episodes every Tuesday.

Subscribe and join the conversation: What’s the smallest comment someone made on a date that turned into your biggest red flag?

Please drop us a rating and tell your friends about us - it’s the best way to help people find the show.

Our website - where you can submit your dating story - go to “Be Part of the Show”: https://www.divorcedanddatingpodcast.com/

Follow Divorced & Dating on socials -

You Tube: https://www.youtube.com/@divorced_and_dating_pod

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorced_and_dating_pod

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@divorced_and_dating_pod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DivorcedAndDatingPod/

Logo Photography by Danie Henry Photography: https://daniehenryphotography.com/

Recorded at Orange Door Spaces: https://www.orangedoorspaces.com/

In this episode:

• Why rejection can actually be protection, in dating and divorce
• Michelle's personal ghosting story—and her unexpected exit interview
• When ghosting is acceptable (and when it's just cruel)
• Recognizing red flags before you get too attached
• Why you shouldn't shrink yourself to keep someone interested
• The Love Is Blind engagement that went spectacularly wrong

Because sometimes the best thing someone can do for you is show themselves the door.

Divorced & Dating is hosted by Katherine Brown and Michelle Yoswa. New episodes every Tuesday on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube.

Please drop us a rating and tell your friends about us - it’s the best way to help people find the show.

Our website - where you can submit your dating story - go to “Be Part of the Show”: https://www.divorcedanddatingpodcast.com/

Follow Divorced & Dating on socials -

You Tube: https://www.youtube.com/@divorced_and_dating_pod

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorced_and_dating_pod

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@divorced_and_dating_pod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DivorcedAndDatingPod/

Logo Photography by Danie Henry Photography: https://daniehenryphotography.com/

Recorded at Orange Door Spaces: https://www.orangedoorspaces.com/

In This Episode:

• The Post-Divorce Rebrand: Becoming the Woman You Actually Want to Be
• Dating Yourself First: Flowers, Fancy Dinners & Raising Your Standards
• Dating as a Single Mom: Why Spontaneity Sometimes Requires a Calendar Invitation
• Age Is Just a Number? Cougars, Younger Men & the Midlife Dating Pool
• Menopause, Andropause & the Double Standards of Aging
• When Should You Commit? Why Dating Multiple People Might Be the Smartest Move
• Sex Before Exclusivity? The Great "Test Drive Before You Buy" Debate
• A Listener Writes In: Dating a Mortician & What We Reveal on First Dates
• The Dating Mask: Are You Really Yourself When You Start Falling for Someone?
• When Rejection Is Actually a Gift: Finding Out You're Not Compatible Sooner

Please drop us a rating and tell your friends about us - it’s the best way to help people find the show.

Our website - where you can submit your dating story - go to “Be Part of the Show”: https://www.divorcedanddatingpodcast.com/

Follow Divorced & Dating on socials -

You Tube: https://www.youtube.com/@divorced_and_dating_pod

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorced_and_dating_pod

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@divorced_and_dating_pod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DivorcedAndDatingPod/

Logo Photography by Danie Henry Photography: https://daniehenryphotography.com/

Recorded at Orange Door Spaces: https://www.orangedoorspaces.com/

In this episode:

• Red Flag Relay: When Troll Men Demand a “10” (Among Other Red Flags)
• When Divorce Entered Our Atmosphere
• Olivia Howell = Amazing Advocate for Women Going Through Divorce
• Lonlier In Your Marriage Than When You Are Single? Probably Time To Go
• Love Is Blind UK Season 3 - Positive Relationship Stories
• Emotional Safety & Not Having to Wonder Where You Stand
• Kat & Michelle Tell the Stories of Their 1st Post-Divorce Relationships
• Are We Avoidant Now, Or Have We Just Raised Our Standards?
• Good Morning Texts - Yay or Nay?
• Adding in Some Green Flags to that Red Relay Race
  
  

Links to things we mention in this episode:

Olivia Howell’s free divorce support community, Divorce Happens: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/

The book Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller: https://amzn.to/4dVSsKH

Please drop us a rating and tell your friends about us - it’s the best way to help people find the show.

Our website - where you can submit your dating story - go to “Be Part of the Show”: https://www.divorcedanddatingpodcast.com/

Follow Divorced & Dating on socials -

You Tube: https://www.youtube.com/@divorced_and_dating_pod

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorced_and_dating_pod

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@divorced_and_dating_pod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DivorcedAndDatingPod/

Logo Photography by Danie Henry Photography: https://daniehenryphotography.com/

Recorded at Orange Door Spaces: https://www.orangedoorspaces.com/

In this episode:

• Post Divorce Glow Up: Sometimes It’s More of a Re-Up (to Get Back to You)
• Glowing Up from the Inside Out - Reasons Why & How
• Divorce is When You Have to Ask, “Who Am I Outside of this Relationship?”
• Hormonal Changes and When Perimenopause & Divorce Show Up Together
• When We are Glowing, It’s Not for Men - It’s for Us
• Dating Apps: Kind of Like Creating a Catalog Page Where You Are the Product
• Michelle likes to Undersell and Overdeliver in Dating
• It’s OK to Rebrand the Rebrand
• No One is Coming to Save You, Which Also Means No One is Coming to Stop You
• Living Our Core Values After the Inflection Point that Is Divorce
• Is the Divorce Plot Twist Your Sign to Start Taking More Career Risks?
• You Don’t Have to Leave Your Marriage For a Mid-Life Rebrand
• Maybe the Glow-Up, the Re-Up and the Rebrand Are Just About Being True to Yourself
  
  

This week’s episode is sponsored by The Slim Haus: https://theslimhaus.com/

Use promo code D&D.

Please drop us a rating and tell your friends about us - it’s the best way to help people find the show.

Our website - where you can submit your dating story - go to “Be Part of the Show”: https://www.divorcedanddatingpodcast.com/

Follow Divorced & Dating on socials -

You Tube: https://www.youtube.com/@divorced_and_dating_pod

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorced_and_dating_pod

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@divorced_and_dating_pod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DivorcedAndDatingPod/

Logo Photography by Danie Henry Photography: https://daniehenryphotography.com/

Recorded at Orange Door Spaces: https://www.orangedoorspaces.com/

In this episode:

• Overfunctioning No More: We were both in charge of handling everything in our marriages to giant babies and are no longer willing to be the “cruise director” in the relationship.
• We can get Spicy (and no shade to Sluttiness). 🌶️ 🥵
• Reciprocity of effort, with the first date setting the tone.
• Michelle definitely has stronger dating boundaries than Kat does.
• We both love men - and that’s the problem.
• Men aren’t competing with other men, they are actually competing with the peaceful single lives we have built for ourselves.
• Love doesn’t need butterflies - we are now in a No Drama Zone.
• Things we are no longer here for: competing with our kids for attention, breadcrumbing, mixed signals, flakiness.
• No chasing - if he ghosts, we don’t need to overthink it. We block & keep it moving.
• Dating As A Mom: New Rules - No Second Chances for First Dates.

This week’s episode is sponsored by The Slim Haus: https://theslimhaus.com/

Use promo code D&D.

Please drop us a rating and tell your friends about us - it’s the best way to help people find the show.

Our website - where you can submit your dating story - go to “Be Part of the Show”: https://www.divorcedanddatingpodcast.com/

Follow Divorced & Dating on socials -

You Tube: https://www.youtube.com/@divorced_and_dating_pod

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorced_and_dating_pod

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@divorced_and_dating_pod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DivorcedAndDatingPod/

Logo Photography by Danie Henry Photography: https://daniehenryphotography.com/

Recorded at Orange Door Spaces: https://www.orangedoorspaces.com/

Another thing we mentioned in this episode:

The Burned Haystack Method book is called Burn the Haystack by Dr. Jennie Young.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0063447576?lv=shuf&channelId=500&plpRedirect=mhFallback

In this episode:

• Dating app deep dive - Facebook, Hinge and Michelle’s beef with Bumble.
• Roses on Hinge - Do men actually want a rose from us women?
• Safety in dating and slightly scary dating stories.
• Burned Haystack Method and why we think it’s brilliant.
• Real phone number versus giving out a Google number to dates.
• Facetiming for Verification and not Misrepresenting Ourselves on the apps.
• Tip: Using Venmo, Cash App or Zelle to vet people.
• Back to the 1st date debate - Is coffee or a walk (rather than dinner) actually preferable?
• The sexiness, of men making an effort and taking charge of making plans.
• Long distance - Are we willing to meet them halfway?
• Dad Bods Are Sexy
• Instead of the 6/6/6 sterotype of what women are looking for, we make our own (S/S/S).
• Red Flag Relay: We learn the terms “hatfish” and “bone collector.”

Please drop us a rating and tell your friends about us - it’s the best way to help people find the show.

Our website - where you can submit your dating story - go to “Be Part of the Show”: https://www.divorcedanddatingpodcast.com/

Follow Divorced & Dating on socials -

You Tube: https://www.youtube.com/@divorced_and_dating_pod

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorced_and_dating_pod

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@divorced_and_dating_pod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DivorcedAndDatingPod/

Logo Photography by Danie Henry Photography: https://daniehenryphotography.com/

Recorded at Orange Door Spaces: https://www.orangedoorspaces.com/

Another thing we mentioned in this episode:

The Burned Haystack Method book is actually called Burn the Haystack by Dr. Jennie Young (we misidentified her in the audio).

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0063447576?lv=shuf&channelId=500&plpRedirect=mhFallback

• Divorce origin stories
• Having more fun in our 40s and 50s
• The Disneyfication of romantic relationships
• Taking back the word “love bombing”
• Dating app pet peeves
• Coffee or tea for first date?
• Audacity Award: Adam from Married at First Sight
• Age of Attraction - the insider perspective
• Are dating show relationships really just trauma bonds?
• Geriatric Love Island - we’re ready.

Our website - where you can submit your story - go to “Be Part of the Show”: https://www.divorcedanddatingpodcast.com/

Follow Divorced & Dating on socials -

You Tube: https://www.youtube.com/@divorced_and_dating_pod

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorced_and_dating_pod

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@divorced_and_dating_pod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DivorcedAndDatingPod/

Logo Photography by Danie Henry Photography: https://daniehenryphotography.com/

Recorded at Orange Door Spaces: https://www.orangedoorspaces.com/

Other things we mention in this episode -

Michelle’s company, The Slim Haus: https://theslimhaus.com/

Kat’s favorite artist she visited in Boston, Sam Reuter: https://www.srueterart.com/

Divorced & Dating is a weekly podcast about the hilarity that is jumping back in the dating pool after divorce in your 40s & 50s (while trying not to drown). Hosted by Michelle Yoswa and Katherine Brown.

We survived marriage. Now we have to survive dating again too? Join us - or just enjoy watching our weekly trainwreck.