I've stop crying like a punk cracks and chasms recognizing your triggers. That a good mark of being a man, stop showing your emotions. Seriously, NO ONE REALLY CARES ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS. I've learned to keep them to myself. 

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I don't know - this one was maybe a bit of a rant on a bunch of stuff. 

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Yeah it took a while. I didn't think I'd get the apology. When it came, i didn't even ask for it. I appreciated it, but aside from that...I don't think I felt anything.  After you are owed something for 5 years, and you've gone back and forth as if you maybe didn't deserve the apology, when you finally get it, you finally get a chance to FEEL the apology - you'll feel different. You feel a lot, you feel that you've been gaslit, you feel that you've been validate at the same time as NOT CRAZY.  it's ok - cuz my hands weren't clean - but why do I keep putting myself under the bus.   "Thanks for the apology" - that's all I should have said - well that's all I did really say. 

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I've learned that about people. Maybe me too...we are a "what have you done for me lately?"  It's ok, I wish I'd learned this earlier. Seriously, don't hurt people. They may react in ways you didn't count on. They may never talk to you again, they might talk about you behind your back, you might lose their trust.   Any/All of these things could put you in a very horrible spot, and maybe permanently. LIKE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE - do not anger/hurt/disrespect your loved ones. 

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I've never even lived alone. Literally from moms house, to dads house, to married. I don't know how to be a man, or a person without others around. I guess if it worked out, i'd feel differently. It's not working out, so i'm questioning everything at this point. 

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Hidden Packages. MORE ENABLING, Private Secretive Spending AGAIN!!! 

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Tough pill to swallow. This doesn't look like it will end well at all. 

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Do some things change, NO. EVERYTHING CHANGES.  No exceptions. 

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The side of the Disney fairy tale that I've been on as the husband has been interesting.  I understand now that, LOVE, is well, something that changes, fluctuates, or maybe never existed. RESPECT IS... RESPECT - done. I'd rather have RESPECT than LOVE any day.  

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I'm not sure IF, we both have the same level of interest to change. I thought that we'd be a team with things. Uh, ALL THINGS. I'm not so sure that we BOTH FULLY understand that we are both flawed people, that need to change things to be better for the people we miss.  

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