I think the family is officially blowing up. We are no longer a unit, it's becoming a very very toxic thing, but I think there's some hope.  I hope...I'm still so torn. 

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This is unattractive, weak, blue pilled, and all out bad. MEN CAN NOT BE LIKE I WAS.   Lessons learned. 

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I AM MY BIGGEST PROBLEM. I have to MAN UP and not blame others for my bull shit and shortcoming, and my mistakes. 

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This most recent blaming debacle just reminded me of when she blamed me for her extramarital affair!  How, even if you "feel like" I am to blame, saying that you sleeping with someone else IS MY FAULT - is preposterous!  So really, the faults are ALL MINE. WHY ON EARTH am I still married to this woman?! Is my self-esteem that low?  Still doing my soul-searching.  

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Yeah, she was my first. My first taste of the forbidden nectar.  Her feminine wiles made me go crazy. I wish I could write a romance novel.  The curves were pure, supple, and pleasing to my eyes, nose, and of course fingertips! 💋 I can't tell you how SMITTEN a teenager can be over his FIRST. Then I married her. J-E-S-U-S!  What was I thinking?! 🤯 Answer - I wasn't.

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We can't just say that cat means dog.  Blue is now green...or in our case "Making Plans" means CHANGE THEM after you made them. 

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It's hard enough to agree with each other within a marriage, or any relationship really.  How can one easily hold agreements with another person, if you say ONE THING, but then you DO ANOTHER!  #itsinfuriating 

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If this is how hard I'm supposed to work to "have a happy wife", I'm not sure if I want to do this anymore. Seriously, as a woman, if you HAD TO cook EVERY meal for your husband that made a measly 25K per year, with a drinking problem, that spent his money before he even cashed his check! 🤪 You'd likely LOSE YOUR MIND and think, "THE JUICE ISN'T WORTH THE SQUEEZE!" I wouldn't disagree. Just looking for fairness. 

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If this is how hard I'm supposed to work to "have a happy wife", I'm not sure if I want to do this anymore.  Seriously, as a woman, if you HAD TO cook EVERY meal for your husband that made a measly 25K per year, with a drinking problem, that spent his money before he even cashed his check! 🤪 You'd likely LOSE YOUR MIND and think, "THE JUICE ISN'T WORTH THE SQUEEZE!" I wouldn't disagree. 

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I'm not sure why some people don't think they should PAY THEIR WAY.  Not necessarily with money, but with something. We've always TRADED in the United States. Money, pelts, gold, silver, cars, doesn't matter.  Husbands and wives are no exception.  

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