Do You Have A Couple Of Minutes

What did you expect to happen? Think before you speak and before you act.

A while back I shared that it all boils down to relationships.. Let me go a step further that within those relationships it boils down to communication. For more than 30 years I’ve worked with businesses, and I’ve seen a lot of issues around ineffective communication.  For the most part people mean well, some even spend a tremendous amount of time and dollars on communication, and still manage to have breakdowns with interpersonal communication.

Let me say this as directly and clearly as possible, “to be an effective communicator, one must think before speaking or taking action.” Thinking, in and of itself, does not guarantee effectiveness, because faulty thinking does exist. However, thinking does allow us to take a bit of a pause. What we do during the pause matters. For our communication to be effective, during the pause we must take time to think about what we want the outcome of our communication to be, what needs to be communicated, the context of the communication, and how it can best be communicated.

When communicating, as much as it is possible, it is good to begin with the end in mind. This is the focus on what we want the outcome of the communication to be. For example, if we have a goal of wanting people to remain engaged and invested in collaboration, we need to steer clear of communications that might make people feel insecure, uncertain, or pitted against one another.

Keeping in mind what we want the outcome of the communication to be, we then focus on what needs to be communicated for that outcome. We want to have clarity in our minds of the details of what we will communicate.

Next we will need to have an understanding of the context in which we will be communicating so that we can be as intentional as possible in our communication. Does this person or group we are communicating with have a thorough understanding of the subject matter? If not, how can we provide context or deliver the information in a way it can be fully understood for application or reference? It is important to always remember that people receive information from their experiential frame of reference. The up and coming star employee is not going to hear the news of a firmwide merger or some other significant organizational change in the same manner as a senior employee who has been through a few mergers or others systems/process changes. Context matters and it’s a big deal. We must keep in mind that while we may have a thorough understanding of a situation, however, that is generally not the case for those who are not as close to the information being communicated or who have not had the same amount of time to reflect upon the information.

Finally, when communicating, we need to utilize the best tools and processes for communication. How we communicate may vary depending on the speed of the communication and the detail of the communication. There may be multiple methods used to provide the communication, particularly if the information is complex and may need to be referenced. We may also need to have processes in place for communication follow-up, particularly when we are communicating about a matter that is not yet resolved.

So this week, practice consciously thinking before you speak or otherwise communicate. Take a moment to pause, pay special attention to your expectations of communication, what you say, how you say it, and how it is received.

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I'm guessing we all have a few people we've admired or looked up to over the years.   Those we admire can serve as great reminders of the good humans are capable of doing when we have a focus on helping those around us be the best they can be, or at least helping them in some way.  When we help others it shifts our focus and helps us to be better humans in that moment.  One of the people i admired most growing up was Mr. Rogers. I learned a lot from him and today I wanted to share some of those lessons.

1. Take care of your things - The show always started with Mr. Rogers coming in and changing his sweater and his shoes. He had shoes for being out and shoes for being in and he took good care of both of them, putting them away neatly.  We should take good care of the things we have.

2. When you meet someone give them the basic courtesy and respect of greeting them.  When Mr. Rogers cam in, he always greeted the viewer.  He greeted them pleasantly.  He also always pleasantly greeted those who would stop by to visit.  People always seemed happy to speak to Mr. Rogers.  We should treat people with respect, kindness, and pleasantly.

3. Do your best to communicate effectively.  Mr. Rogers always spoke clearly.  He also did his best to gain understanding and ensure understanding by asking questions, explaining things clearly, repeating what others said to confirm he received the intended message, and giving people a chance to share and ask questions.

4. Be inclusive of people who may be different than you.  Mr. Rogers had a variety of guests and characters on the show.  They all had different personalities and varied roles and responsibilities.  Mr. Rogers taught us that even when there are differences and differences of opinions, we can live together peaceably if we try.  It may not always be easy, but we can be inclusive if we try and we can still have differences.

5. Being consistent and reliable is important and visits with Friends can be impactful.  Mr. Rogers had a routine, he was trustworthy, and he used his words wisely.  Mr. Rogers short "visits" with his friends, people in the neighborhood, and the viewers were always interactions that had some positive benefit.  His vistis always seemed to be enjoyable and provide some learning. He always seemed interested and caring. Consistency of what we do and of our character is important.3 

So today, I want to encourage you that there is value in the small things.  I heard a saying that an extraordinary life is made up of many ordinary moments strewn together in a pattern that makes them extraordinary.  So, I encourage you today to take some time to remember and meditate on the lessons you learned from a person you have admired.  Do your best to emulate some of the positive attributes - you never know who may be inspired by you.

#DoYouHaveACoupleOfMInutes #Inspire #Think #Learn #Grow #Fulfilled #LiveFulfilled #Liberate #Illuminte #Amplify #PositiveChange #Leadership #Mentor #Coach #Develop #Lead #Listen #Encourage #Feelings #Intent #Expectations #PetrinaGooch #Petrina #TakeTheGoodTakeTheBad #Perfection #Imperfections #ShowingUp #ShowUpOpen #Self #SelfImprovement #SelfCare #MondayMotivation #LessonsFromMrRogers

This week, we are talking about things that get in our way of success that we can manage and move out of our path toward success and fulfillment. Self-Talk is one of those things.

Self-talk, also known as inner dialogue, is the constant stream of thoughts and ideas that runs through our minds. These thoughts can have a significant impact on our mood, behavior, and overall well-being, and can be either positive or negative. Understanding how to manage our self-talk and using it for success and fulfillment in both professional and personal life is crucial.

One of the most important aspects of managing self-talk is to be aware of the words we use. Negative self-talk can lead to feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and a lack of motivation. On the other hand, positive self-talk can boost confidence, increase motivation, and lead to greater success and fulfillment.

A well-known example of using self-talk for success is Muhammad Ali, the legendary boxer. He was known for using affirmations and positive self-talk to boost his confidence and overcome his opponents. He would often repeat phrases like "I am the greatest" and "I am the champion" to himself before a fight. By doing this, he was able to visualize himself as a winner and ultimately achieve great success in his career.

Another example is Michael Jordan, one of the greatest basketball players of all time. He used self-talk to overcome his fear of failure and to push himself to be the best. He would often remind himself that failure is not an option and that he is capable of achieving great things. By using this self-talk, he was able to become one of the most successful and accomplished players in the history of the game.  Given a little time, you can likely think of examples in your own experience where self talk made a positive difference.

In professional life, using self-talk can help us to achieve our goals and advance in our careers. For example, when faced with a difficult task, we can remind ourselves that we are capable of handling it, and that we have the skills and knowledge to succeed. By using positive self-talk, we can increase our confidence and motivation, which can lead to greater success and fulfillment.

In personal life, self-talk can also be used to improve our relationships, physical health, and overall well-being. For example, by using positive self-talk, we can remind ourselves that we are worthy of love and happiness, and that we have the ability to create a fulfilling and satisfying life. By using this self-talk, we can increase our confidence and motivation, which can lead to greater success and fulfillment in our personal lives as well.

So, to wrap things up, self-talk is a powerful tool that can be used to our advantage in both professional and personal life. By managing our self-talk and using positive affirmations and visualization, we can boost our confidence, increase our motivation, and achieve our goals. We can positively use self-talk to reach our full potential and live a fulfilling and successful life.

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"We Have Met the Enemy and It is Us" This week we will focus on how we can get out of the way of our own path toward success and fulfillment.

"Getting out of your own way" refers to the idea that sometimes, our own thoughts and behaviors can hold us back from achieving our goals and reaching our full potential. In both life and business, it's important to be aware of these self-imposed barriers and take steps to overcome them.

One common barrier that people face is fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, and fear of the unknown can all prevent us from taking action and moving forward. To overcome this, it's important to focus on the potential rewards of taking action rather than the potential risks. It's also helpful to remind yourself that failure is not the end, but rather an opportunity to learn and grow.

Another barrier that can hold us back is self-doubt. This can manifest in negative thoughts and beliefs about our abilities, such as "I'm not good enough" or "I don't have what it takes." To overcome this, it's important to focus on your strengths and accomplishments, and to remind yourself that you are capable of achieving your goals.

Procrastination is another obstacle that can prevent us from reaching our full potential. It's easy to fall into the trap of putting things off until later, but this can lead to missed opportunities and wasted time. To overcome procrastination, it's important to set clear goals, break them down into smaller, manageable tasks, and create a plan of action.

In business, another barrier that can hold us back is the fear of change. It's easy to get comfortable with the status quo, but to succeed in today's fast-paced business environment, it's important to be open to new ideas and willing to adapt to change. To overcome this, it's important to stay informed about industry trends and developments, and to be open to feedback and constructive criticism.

Ultimately, getting out of your own way is about recognizing and overcoming the self-imposed barriers that hold us back from achieving our goals. By focusing on the rewards, reminding ourselves of our strengths and capabilities, setting clear goals, creating a plan of action, staying informed, and being open to change, we can break through these barriers and reach our full potential.

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Monday Motivation and Momentum. 

No one can be a better you than you.  This means you are in the best position to be an expert on you.  Experts are created rather than born.  By this I mean to say that in order to show up as an expert for yourself, you'll need to work at it. Becoming an expert on yourself is a journey that requires time, reflection, and self-awareness. It's about understanding your strengths, weaknesses, values, and goals, and using this knowledge to make informed decisions and take action towards living a fulfilled life.

There seems to be some deception floating around that we somehow figure things out along the path of conforming to the norm and what is expected or accepted.  While we can figure out how to survive within a system, survival is a far cry from fulfillment and thriving at being the unique person we can be. It has been my experience that people tend to find things they are looking for or have set themselves up for, versus something finding them.  The best selling book of all time offers this wisdom "Seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened."

So for today I wanted to encourage you to be an expert on you.  There are many things you can do to become an expert on yourself, and here are just five suggestions:

Remember, becoming an expert on yourself is a process that requires time, reflection, and self-awareness. Also keep in mind that that we are always growing and changing and by continuously working on becoming an expert of yourself, you'll be able to live a more fulfilled and successful life. You'll also have insights to more clearly and consistently interact with others.

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Leaders Aren't Afraid of Great Talent. True leaders aren't always the smartest person in the room. In fact, they are often the ones who surround themselves with the smartest people in the room. A true leader understands that their own knowledge and expertise is limited, and that they can learn and grow from the people around them.

A true leader is humble, and they are always looking to learn from others. They listen to the ideas and perspectives of their team members, and they value the input of people from all levels of the organization. They recognize that everyone has something valuable to contribute, and that diversity of thought is essential for driving innovation and progress.

True leaders also don't shy away from admitting when they don't know something. They understand that it is better to ask for help or clarification than to pretend to know something and risk making a mistake. This kind of vulnerability and humility is a key component of effective leadership.

True leaders also empower their team members to take ownership of their work and to make decisions. They understand that everyone is capable of great things, and they create an environment in which people can thrive. They give credit where credit is due, and they celebrate the successes of their team members.

True leaders look to surround themselves with the smartest people in the room. They are humble, they listen and they value the input of others. They empower their team members to take ownership of their work and make decisions. They are the kind of leaders that inspire and motivate their team to achieve great things.

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True leaders don't gaslight. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or group makes someone question their own sanity, memory, or perception of events. This is often done in order to gain and maintain power and control over the person who the gaslighting is directed toward.

Gaslighting is a toxic behavior that has no place in leadership. Gas lighting may be overt or subtle.  It can look like a leader trying to invalidate someone by say "Sorry you feel that way or sorry it's impacting you that way, but my direction doesn't have to take unintended consequences into account, only my goal for the end result."  It may look like someone speaking over you or not acknowledging what you just said.  It may look like a failure to show gratitude or appreciation or showing it selectively to team members.

True leaders behave decently, are respectful, honest, trustworthy, inclusive, and transparent. They inspire and empower their followers, rather than manipulating and controlling them. They lead by example, and they do not resort to deceitful or unethical tactics, not even "slightly.".

Leadership is about guiding and supporting others, not about manipulating and deceiving them. A true leader is someone who is respected and admired for their integrity, their wisdom, and their ability to bring out the best in others. They are not afraid to admit when they are wrong and they take responsibility for their actions. They communicate clearly and openly, and they always strive to be fair and just.  They understand that clarity in direction, leadership, and communication is not only kind, but a basic tenant of good leadership.  There must be clearly communicated expectations in order for there to be accountability for execution and performance.

To wrap things up, gaslighting is a form of abuse, and it has no place in leadership. True leaders do not engage in this behavior, and they do not tolerate it from others. They are the kind of leaders that people want to follow, the kind of leaders who inspire and motivate others to achieve great things. They empower, they guide and support. They lead by example, they are honest and transparent, and they strive to be fair and just. True leaders are the kind of leaders who make a positive impact on the world.

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As was shared yesterday, Martin Luther King Jr. was one of the most influential leaders of the Civil Rights Movement in the United States. His leadership style and speeches continue to inspire people around the world to this day. Here are two more leadership lessons that we can learn from Martin Luther King Jr:

These two leadership lessons, along with the two shared yesterday, can be applied to any situation, whether it be in business, politics, or any other field. Being persistent and being an inspiration are vital elements to be a successful leader. Martin Luther King Jr. was a remarkable leader who changed the course of history, and we can all learn from his example.

Martin Luther King Jr. showed us that leadership is about more than just achieving personal success, it is about working to make a positive change in the world.  The kind of positive change that will outlive our lifetimes. His leadership style and principles continue to inspire people to this day. His leadership lessons remind us that even in the face of adversity and oppression, it is possible to inspire change through peaceful means and with a steadfast determination.

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