Do You Have A Couple Of Minutes

Yesterday we talked about looking for opportunities, which requires intentional awareness.  Today, I want to keep on the theme of awareness and encourage you to memorialize your dreams, ideas, and thoughts. Taking the intentional step to memorialize thoughts and things, helps to make space for them and reinforce them. This is important to remember because not every idea or thought may be something beneficial for us.

Sometimes our ideas and thoughts can benefit from more experience and clarity.  By writing them down, we give ourselves the opportunity to think on dreams, ideas, and thoughts that have come to mind.  We also give ourselves time to see how things might align or not align with one another or how they might align or not align with other activities we may be or become a part of.  We can consciously decide what we want to move forward and what things might not have a positive outcome.  Once we decide what things are aligned we can then make steady progress and allow time for things to grow exponentially.

Sometimes our dreams and ideas may seem to go dormant.  It may just not be the time for them to sprout.  It may be time for them be further nourished and fertilized to support growth.  That nourishment and fertilization may come in the form of experience, mentorship, or sponsorship. Sometimes we have dreams and ideas that are guide posts for a time in our life that is further down the road, however acknowledging our dreams can help us make decisions in reference to them.

Finally, memorializing our dreams will help reveal something about ourselves and what is consciously or subconsciously occupying our minds. Bringing intentional awareness to the things that occupy our minds is the first step in being able to manage them to our advantage.

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2023 will be full of opportunities, but we'll need to look for them.  When we look for things, we are more likely to see them.

Sometimes opportunities present themselves boldly.  Other times they may be cloaked in disappointment or challenge.  In 2023, let's remember to look for the opportunities that present themselves daily.  When something ends, perhaps it is time for a new beginning or and upgrade.  When something is challenging it is a time to learn, to see something from a different perspective, and to ultimately stretch an grow.

When I think back over my life and career using hindsight it is easier to see the great opportunities that existed in the midst of many challenges and disappointments.  There have been plenty of challenging work projects and and opportunities to grow as an individual, wife, parent, and friend.  Early on, I think I tended to look at things as problems to be solved, and was not intentional around finding all the underlying lessons to be learned and the opportunities that learning those lessons would provide.  Taking the perspective of looking for the opportunities that accompany change, allow us to look forward to change and welcome it as a natural occurrence of life.  This isn't to say that change, disappointment, and challenges won't be difficult, it is to say that they can help us mature into the best version of ourselves.

So, as you venture into 2023, believe that is will be full of opportunity and keep an eye out for those opportunities.

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I want to wish everyone hearing this message a very happy and prosperous New Year.  Our 2023 will largely be what each of us intends to make it.  So I hope you have some great things planned for 2023.  And if you've listened to me for any length of time, by now you likely know that in my positive outlook, I am a realist.  Things don't always go as planned.  We should expect that and be ready to manage that change, as much as it is in our ability to manage, and what we cannot manage we must accept and navigate. I'm not perfect at accepting change, but I can tell you that when I do it well, it is liberating and illuminating.  It is liberating the instead of dealing with resistance, I am able to manage the energy of change to my advantage.  It is illuminating, because when my focus is not on resisting, it can shift to focusing on learning and opportunities that might have otherwise gone unnoticed.

In 2023, I look forward to sharing more with you that you might find helpful for your personal life, your career, or that might cause you to see something from a new and different perspective that will be beneficial for you and those who you influence.

Finally, I want to end this year and begin the new one with gratitude.  Thank you for being a part of Do You Have a Couple of Minutes.  A special thanks to those of you who have reached out to support this work with messages of encouragement and messages sharing positive impact. I'm even going to thank my haters, who not only help draw traffic to the show, but who I choose to see as a sign of greater reach!  And finally, to those who have rated and commented on this show on the various social media channels, Thank you for that support, it means a lot.  Let's move into 2023 inspired, thinking, learning, growing, and living fulfilling lives.

I've decided to do a New Year's Resolutions Part 2 because yesterday I focused on creating new habits and obtaining goals.  Today I want to focus on getting rid of old bad habits.  And I am going to suggest that in the case of getting rid of bad habits, you do your best to stop cold turkey.  This is because our bad habits are likely contradicting the good habits we are trying to improve.  It is likely that there may be a slip up, or two, or ten.  However, knowing, acknowledging, and acting upon what we need to stop is just as important, and in some cases even more important, than the habits we are trying to create.

Let's look at a simple example of keeping your space organized, or it could be keeping your work calendar or files organized. If you have allowed your space to get to an unorganized or chaotic state, it is going to take some time to get things back in order.  However, if you set aside time each day to make progress, yet still maintain your habit of tossing things about or leaving things in a haphazard manner, it may defeat the progress you are trying to make.  Even if your first step is to stop the unproductive habit, it will help to stop the mess you have to clean up from getting that much larger.  And if you slip up, remember, we can always start again.

There's a sing I listen to from Glenn Lundy's Rise & Grind podcast and one of the lines says "Can't cheat the grind, only get what you put in."  When thinking about your New Year's resolutions, keep that in mind, when thinking about life, keep that in mind.  Sure we may be presented with opportunities that exceed our expectations, however we have to be present and available to receive them - and that too is part of the "grind." So, figure out if there are things you need to stop and take action to "stop" them, and if at first or fifth you don't succeed, try again.  Keep going until you reach your goal.

New Year's Resolutions - What's Your Why? Start out at a good pace and build up from there.

I have a love hate relationship with New Year's Resolutions.  I think it is great to plan, and I love ambitions.  I am even OK with falling short of a goal if there's some learning from it.  What I dislike is the thought that if you try something one time and don't succeed, that resulting in stopping.  I have heard sometime that within less than 3 months, most people fail at their New Year's Resolution.

My theory on this is that instead of building up to a desired state, people want to start out too ambitiously.  I may want to run a marathon, but if I haven't practiced running, it's probably not going to go well for me.  The same is true of going to the gym every day for an hour, or making any change to your routine.  Practice makes perfect.

So, here's my new year's resolution advice.  First understand why you want to make a particular resolution.  Understanding your why is important to keep up your engagement.  If you have a reason that is aligned with what you stand for, who you want to be, what you want to accomplish, that can help keep you motivated.  Next, set resolutions that build over time.  For example, if I want to exercise regularly, instead of resolving to go to the gym 7 days a week, maybe I resolve to exercise 10 minutes a day with at lease one or two days in the gym.  Chances are I will be able to get in the 10 minutes daily and when I go to the gym I will likely be here longer than 10 minutes, but even the 10 minutes can be the start of building a good habit. Maybe you have a goal of being an encourager.  If you encourage one person a week through January, it it likely easier to build that up over time and figure out what methods of encouragement work best for you.

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Yesterday, I talked about this week being a great time for reflection and planning.  In keeping with that theme, I want to spend some time talking about FEAR and Discomfort.  I was talking to a friend of mine recently about FEAR, and the avoidant behaviors that typically come alongside change.  My friend and I quickly walked through some scenarios where FEAR and Avoidant behavior, prevented forward momentum and actually negatively impacted others.

FEAR can keep us from moving to a place of forward momentum, if we give it the power to do so.

Avoidant behavior usually backfires as issues generally compound over time, and become larger issues to face.  My mom used to tell me that when you tell one lie, you have to tell another to cover it up and over time, the details of the lie will become a bigger burden to manage. 

So my encouragement for you is to face FEAR and Discomfort Head on.  When we face our fears, we take back our power and can use it productively.  When we deal with discomfort, we can become better at managing similar or difficult situations in our future. 

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I hope you are well today and enjoying the holiday season.  This is one of my favorite weeks of the year.  The last week of the year is a time to reflect on the past year, a time for rest and rejuvenation, and a time for planning and re-invigoration! Let's spend a moment to talk about those things for a moment.

When I reflect on the past year, I like to focus on what has gone right, and all the things I have learned.  I like to think that with more experience comes more wisdom, so that I can avoid repeating mistakes from the past.  I also want to repeat and improve upon the positive things.  When looking the things that went well in your life, look at the details.  Did the positive things happen when your actions were aligned with the vision, values, and dreams you have for your life?  What are those actions, and how can the actions be repeated or improved?  These are great questions for personal reflection.

This time of year is also a time of rest, for many.  Sometimes our times of rest can turn into times of projects.  Nothing wrong with taking care of business, just make sure you are priority #1.  Remember, when you are at your best, it is not only good for you, but for everyone around you.  If you have a hard time taking rest, plan your rest, schedule it on your calendar and don't let yourself down!  I know this is easier said than done, however, if you make the time for you, it will have a positive impact.

Finally, I like this time of year because there is time to plan and get invigorated by new ideas.  When planning, it is great to dream big.  We can sometimes talk ourselves out of dreaming big, however that is usually just fear and doubt talking.  Fear and doubt have no place in our future or our planning.  It's fun to start out dreaming big and then work our way down to the details of realizing our goals.  When we break things into smaller pieces, what once seemed impossible, can seem very doable.

I  hope you are off to the start of a great week, and have time to reflect, rest, and become re-invigorated about life and work.

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Happy Holiday Season to you! I'll wrap up this series on Sibling Lessons with myself.  I have learned so much through my life experiences, some enjoyable and some really tough. Two things I have learned and am still learning are to embrace change and possibilities, and to speak up.  

Embracing Change and possibilities is a huge part of success.  Things must change in order for us to reach our goals and simple to navigate the variance in each day.  Along with change comes possibilities.  Possibilities need to be evaluated, and can provide great opportunity. Over my career i have been fortunate to have experienced various organizational change, which brought different opportunities.  In some cases, I had to make a choice between an opportunity and what I saw as the path I wanted to travel.  In some cases, I had to take action where choices were made by others without my impact, that impacted me.  By taking time to evaluate the possibilities, it allowed me to be intentional around the actions I took in regard to my short and long term goals.

Another lesson I have learned is to speak up - even when it's hard and when people don't agree.  My perspective matters, your perspective matters, and it makes a difference.  I definitely have had the experience of sharing information that falls on deaf ears, or sharing information that is seemingly not heard until it is spoken by someone else.  However, I've also had the experience where significant decisions were made that positively impacted that lives of others and the operation of the organization because I chose to speak up and to be persistent.  Having the confidence to speak up and to share things in a way that they are retained, heard, and can be acted upon, is a good thing.

I think if you were to speak to my siblings, they'd agree that I do good with change and even proactively welcome it in many circumstances, and that i tend to do a good job of speaking out on behalf of myself and giving others a chance to be heard.

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Continuing on with Sibling Lesson and my twin brother.  Two more things he is great at, one is looking around to help and to connect with others. Many times we need others just as much or more than they need us.  The other lesson is to give your best and to give your all despite what others may say or think.  It's like the Mother Teresa poem to Do It Anyway, because it's never really between you and anyone else, it is between you and God and what you have chosen to do with whatever circumstance of opportunity lies before you. 

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Today's sibling lesson comes from my twin brother, who is just 3 minutes older than me.  Growing up my brother was an adventurous daredevil, balanced by having a wealth of compassion for others.  My brother is a military veteran, a father, husband, and a friend.  He's the kind of person that like my father, will go out of his way to help and serve others. The thing that stands out as a great encouragement to me about my brother is that over the years he has been diligent to Keep Going through very difficult challenges of life, and he has intentionally chosen to Keep Growing.  My brother has not traveled an easy road in this life.  However, what he has done is taken his harmful experiences and turned them into a harmony that can serve others.  My brothers compassionate nature intertwined with his life experiences uniquely allow him to be able to meet people where the are and to truly empathize with them, and help them to see a path forward.  Sharing our vision of the future when someone is temporarily overcome and blinded by current circumstances can make a huge positive impact.

My brother has taught me not to waste life experiences, and not to linger in difficulties that the mind can conjure. he has taught me to keep on keeping on, that change is possible if we have focus and intention. He has taught me that when seeds are planted and watered, they usually reproduce, but sometimes things that appear dormant are just taking time to reproduce.  And these are lessons that apply in all areas of our life.

So I want to encourage you to keep going after your dreams until you get what you want or die trying.  I want to encourage you to keep planting seed so growth and positivity.  I want to encourage you to learn through your experiences and to share your learning with others.  Keep Going and Keep Growing, it's a never ending cycle for living a full life.

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