Do You Have A Couple Of Minutes

When we start something new, it is natural to look for examples, mentors, and coaches to help us develop a new skill set and even grow that skill set.  But what about when you have reached a level of proficiency - is there still a need for a coach?  Sure, if it is a team sport it makes sense that someone needs to take the administrative lead.  But if you are good, really good, do you need a coach?  It seems the answer might just be yes.  When we look at professional athletes at the top of their games, many of them hire their own coaches - and even hire folks who specialize in areas to help them excel.  Strength coaches, coaches for mindset, nutritionists.  It seems that many very successful people in sports and in business, have an appreciation and understanding of nuances and the impact large and small adjustments may have on success.  In the business world, there seems to be an accepted recognition for coaches and mentors as people are climbing the ladder, but not so much at the top of the ladder.  Sure there are elite clubs for people to share their learning and experiences - but the same discipline for working out nuanced skill sets doesn't seem to exist.  What if we identified our areas of strength and further tried to develop them, like an athlete - how might that allow us to serve better and create a greater positive impact?  Let's be intentional about seeking out the help we need for continuous improvement.

Juneteenth commemorates and celebrates when the last slaves in the United States located in Texas, were advised of their freedom.  The notification came two years after slavery was to have been abolished!

Lessons I take from this piece of history:

- Keep the faith, sometimes things take longer than they should or than we would like.  But change will come if we keep the faith and keep moving towards it.

- Freedom is worth sacrifice.  There is physical freedom and there is freedom of the mind, and freedom of the soul.

- Celebration is essential and is largely due to our attitude.  Don't let negativity overshadow the positivity of our accomplishments and successes.

This week we've talked about acknowledging the consistency of Change, Fearing Change, Compounding Change, Being the Change, and we wrap up this week with Perspective Change. The thing about our perspectives is that they should always be changing if we are open to growing. Our perspectives may be strengthened by experience that supports a current line of reasoning and understanding OR they may be altered by experiences and circumstances that no longer seem to align with our previous thoughts.  However, if we are growing - we are enlarging our perspectives daily and experiencing change that will be useful in our life progress.  We all know this, so what's the big deal about perspective change?  The big deal is that today we are reminded to be INTENTIONAL about our perspective change.  Understand how it impacts the many areas of our lives and the influence it may have in our relationships.  Don't keep it to yourself if it is change that should be shared to allow it to compound. And that wraps up our week - which I hope has provided some positive change now and for your bright future.

Be the Change.  We wait for change to come to us, to happen around us.  We see things that would benefit from change - we may even know what change is needed.  Why not be the change?  We talked about Fearing Change earlier this week - one fear is what the change may cost us.  Even though the change might be beneficial - what will it demand of us in the process, are we up to the challenge, and will it really be worth it?  Will we regret the change?  Most likely in retrospect, if we fail to take action we will wonder what might have been.

Let's again get back to looking at our perspective about what it means and what it takes to be the change - and growing with the change.  Being the change means we live by example.  We live in a place of progress and intentional decisions for implementation.  Being the change means we take action that others can follow or build upon.  We don't; wait for something to happen, when we know we can make something happen.  As people who understand that change is a constant and that change happens at different rates, we look to make the kind of change that sticks, and the kind of change that has a lasting impact in addition to making an immediate statement.

Finally consider the uniqueness of the moment, the uniqueness of circumstances, the uniqueness of you, and the impact that only each individual has the opportunity to make.  Be the Change!  As my friend and podcast host Mitch Matthews always says - The World Needs More of You!

Sometimes we are in a hurry for the end result of our change.  We want the quick fix. However, change is something that usually compounds over time to realize desired results.  This is not to say that change can not happen quickly, it certainly can.  There are lottery winners - though I have heard that many lose their fortunes because there was not a mindset change to accompany the change in financial means.  What I want to reinforce is that change that lasts is substantive and substantial things usually become substantial over time. Like the change from our pockets, we may realize the change in various areas of our life and at various times.  However, when we put the change together it not only adds up, but we find that if we are able to save or invest it, it compounds over time to become more valuable than when we first used it.  Sometimes the value is not in the initial form of the change itself, but how we are able to use the change in a manner that exploits it's real power of value.  .

For example, think of investing in real estate or in learning, the value of both can have greater value over time. Sometimes you may gain some information that is useful for the initial purpose you learned it for.  However, like MacGuyver, you find a way to use it in a different scenario or in connection with other change that allows it to be even more valuable in connection with other items. A paintbrush or a musical instrument in the right hands seems to generate great value - but in the wrong hands, not so much.  Collectibles are items that compound interest over time, but we must be careful as not all things are collectible, some are to be used for a time as a bridge to the future.

So, as we look toward leading fulfilling lives of impact, let's take inventory of the wisdom and intellect we gain through the experiences and changes of life.  Let's look to see how we might make investments or use of what we have collectively so that we can realize positive change compounded. 

Like many of you, I have been guilty of fearing change.  I like to know what lies ahead so that I can prepare and navigate.  However, sometimes, we let the not knowing become an obstacle to our forward momentum.  

Change does involve that we give up what is for what can be.  Sometimes that is giving up the current state of evolution for a more matured state.  Sometimes, it is letting go.  

I am reminded of a couple of illustrations in this regard.  One is of a trapped monkey that has put its hand in a hole to grasp something and while its hand is full it can not pull its hand out of the hole, but if it were to just let go its hand would quickly slip out and it would be free.  How often do we have a hold onto something that is only holding us back from the change we so desperately need.  Another illustration is that of heartache.  Noone wants heartache, but when it is a part of the path to a great relationship, perhaps we reconcile that the pain we endured was worth it and even gave us some valuable perspective. 

 Many times fear really does live up to its acronym of False Expectations Appearing Real,  However, when we acknowledge the fear and engage in the process of change with intention and purpose, our actions can be a path to great learning and fulfillment.  Change is happening and will continue to happen so instead of fearing it, we must acknowledge it for the momentum it holds and use it to our benefit. 

Change seems to be at odds with comfort, yet everything is constantly changing. Perhaps instead of looking at change as discomfort, we would do better to focus on change as a process, think exchange.  When we exchange something, we trade it in for something that will provide us more value at the moment.  That can be something we consume, something we learn, or something we physically utilize in some manner.  There are consistencies in change - one is that it is consistently changing and the other thing is that you are a part of that change.  We can be impacted by change or we can impact change.  This week let's talk about change.

- Fearing Change

- Change Compounding

- Being Change

- Changing Perspectives

For now, I leave you with a question, when it comes to change do you discard change or do you keep the change?  Change is a part of life, might as well handle it intentionally.

-

As a child I played sports and I loved them.  I liked being a part of the team.  I liked seeing everyone accomplish a little bit more and get a little better each time the team came together.  Even in the losses, there can be big and small wins of advancement.  But I didn't always see it that way.  When I first joined the team, I was the only girl on the team and with little practice, I wasn't that great.  They announced my name at the beginning of the game and then it was like I became an invisible dugout ghost, waiting until I apparently became visible around the 7th inning to run to an outfield position.  Fortunately, that only lasted for a season and I learned that in baseball, like in life, when you start out you'll spend more time practicing than actively playing in games.  Over the years, the game of baseball, and later girl's fast pitch softball when they formed a girl's team,  taught me many more valuable life lessons.  I learned that you might play many positions before your find one that fits, and even then, you might have to play another role for the team's success. Being the lead-off batter is great, and being the clean-up hitter is an honor - but none of it matters if the runners don't score.  I learned you must keep the focus on what matters while executing the details well.  I learned that sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose, and your attitude in both situations is your choice.  A good attitude allows you to learn more quickly from your experiences and make necessary changes.  Competitive softball came to end for me one point shy of making it to the Little League Softball World Series level of competition at the age of 18. Fortunately, I was able to build upon all the learning of life lessons that came between my first strike-out and the last umpire calling out "That's the game!"  I still contend that last hit was not a foul ball, I checked the chalk line in the right field and saw where the ball hit. Evenso, I'm grateful for the lessons we can learn "in the middle of it all."  Keep learning, there's lessons in the big and small things.

How you show up has everything to do with your identified intention.  If you have no intention, you risk being easily influenced or swayed by others.  So, how do you want to show up in life - how do you choose to show up in life?  You'll need to intentionally think about this to develop a picture - and don't be afraid to start with a partial picture and fill it in as time goes on.  And, over time, your picture may change - which is alright.  The point is that you have the intention and you have a picture of how you want to show up in your life.  Once you figure this out, it is about consistency and continuous growth, accompanied by incremental improvement.

In the movie the Field of Dreams, there's a saying that 'If you build it they will come.'  This is the idea of having intention and a vision, showing up, and taking specific action to realize your intention.  How we show up is about every aspect of our lives.  Can we show up and keep the commitments to ourselves about how we want to live.  When we fall short, can we give ourselves forgiveness and grace to start over?  Can we show up for others and take care of our responsibilities and commitments?  The choice is ours, we choose how we will show up to our lives, and if we stick to it we can build upon our incremental success of leading the quality lives we want to lead.

So, let's be intentional!  Let's have a mental picture of how we want to show up and let's stick to it!  Let's not be swayed by the distractions that are not in line with the lives we want to lead.  Show up for you - It will make a world of difference!

Think about a good conversation you've had.  What made it a good conversation?  Was it a colorful name you were called or maybe a clever backhanded insult handed your way?  Maybe what you said was not acknowledged and the other party said something that was a great idea...an idea you mentioned 10 minutes earlier?  Perhaps, it was that conversation where you only had to nod and respond with 'uh, huh,' and 'really, is that so' type of comments.  I am guessing it was likely none of these.

Good conversations are an outcome of good communication.  And good communication seeks to clearly convey and exchange information.  Good communication also ensures that the message being communicated is clearly understood and received.  This means great conversations are likely characterized by common understanding, and a respectful tone and pattern of the speech focused on the clarity of the message.  The next time you engage in conversation, take some time to be intentional about what you want to communicate and how you will ensure the message is received.  If there is an exchange of information employs active listening skills to ensure that what is being communicated from all parties is being received as intended. Consider the context of your communication and choose your words and emotional tone accordingly.