A vegetarian and a Goblin appeared from an interdimensional shifted Ollie's in Toms River.
What flavor of war are we talkin here? Welcome to the unhinge zone. Emily kept doing shots, and Connor kept being a freak. Meanwhile their respective dates were in the room putting gas in the wild fire that's this episode.
(Please read exactly what's on the paper. Read with passion. Have fun)
Hello, I'm Connor. Todays episode is sponsored by The Hidden Gold of Middle World
*Wait for music, speak in a goblin voice*
"AND THE GOLD IS MINE. NOBODY CAN HAVE IT. DON'T YOU SEE I'M THE ONE WHO NEEDS IT? SO SHINY. SO PERFECT. FUCK YOU. ITS MINE."
*Make goblin grunts and noises until the music is done. Go back to your own voice.*
Thank you and enjoy the rest of the podcast
(Please read with passion)
Hello I'm Emily. A very proud vegetarian. Which is why it's my honor and privilege to bring forth todays 2nd sponsor of the "Do you like music" podcast.
"ARMIE HAMMER'S TODAY REAL BUTCHER SHOP"
Now, I know what you're all thinking. A vegetarian promoting a butcher shop. Are you out of your fucking mind? Well in case y'all need a refresher, being a vegetarian means abstaining from meat or any product that comes from animal slaughter. That's what makes "ARMIE HAMMER'S BUTCHER SHOP" so special. NO ANIMALS.
It's 100% something else. But it's definitely not animals being brought to their end. Although it may taste like chicken. IT'S NOT. Here's how it works. You walk into Armie's shop. Inside is nothing but him and a table. You guys talk for a little bit. He's very charming. He gets you to lower your guard. Trust me, he'll lower your guard. The power dynamic is palpable. And then he shows you a selection of photos of random people. Men and women of all varieties. And says "Pick one." Not quite sure what that's about, and then he leaves. And in no time flat, there's a dull, empty sound. And Presto Pesto, you got a bag full of meat!
"Eat it raw. It's still warm." He says. What a guy.
Since his acting career has ended and now in a massive amount of debt, it's moments like this that we can help our common man for food he calls "locally sourced." and "Totally safe. I learned my lesson last time."
So what is that "something else?" I don't know! He won't tell me. He tells me for sure that there is no abuse involved. The only abuse you'll see is abuse of your hunger and taste buds from his totally unique butcher shop. First the impossible whopper and now this? What a time to be alive!
So stop in now and finally have meat that everyone can have.
ARMIE HAMMER'S BUTCHER SHOP: Say #Metoo to Meat.