Dogs Are Smarter Than People: Writing Life, Marriage and Motivation

So, a lot of self-help out there on TikTok and blogs is all about being . . . Well, happier, more efficient, better humans. We explore this all the time ourselves as we try to lead better lives, but one of the big things about this is that it sort of makes it seem like we live in a bubble where only we exist, that if we just work harder, better, more, in a different way, then we can get everything we need. 

That's what we talk about, plus brave fart and Florida Man headlines and writing.

Anger doesn't usually help you get bacon. Be choosy in how you use it and remember there are other souls out there who have to interact with you.

Allow your characters to experience a full range of emotions.

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. 

Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Summer Spliff” by Broke For Free.

WE HAVE EXTRA CONTENT ALL ABOUT LIVING HAPPY OVER HERE! It's pretty awesome.

AND we have a writing tips podcast called WRITE BETTER NOW! It's taking a bit of a hiatus, but there are a ton of tips over there.

We have a podcast, LOVING THE STRANGE, which we stream biweekly live on Carrie’s Facebook and Twitter and YouTube on Fridays. Her Facebook and Twitter handles are all carriejonesbooks or carriejonesbook. But she also has extra cool content focused on writing tips here.

Carrie is reading one of her raw poems every once in awhile on CARRIE DOES POEMS. And there you go! Whew! That's a lot!

So, a lot of self-help out there on TikTok and blogs is all about being . . . Well, happier, more efficient, better humans. We explore this all the time ourselves as we try to lead better lives, but one of the big things about this is that it sort of makes it seem like we live in a bubble where only we exist, that if we just work harder, better, more, in a different way, then we can get everything we need. 

That's what we talk about, plus brave fart and Florida Man headlines and writing.

Anger doesn't usually help you get bacon. Be choosy in how you use it and remember there are other souls out there who have to interact with you.

Allow your characters to experience a full range of emotions.

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. 

Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Summer Spliff” by Broke For Free.

WE HAVE EXTRA CONTENT ALL ABOUT LIVING HAPPY OVER HERE! It's pretty awesome.

We have a podcast, LOVING THE STRANGE, which we stream biweekly live on Carrie’s Facebook and Twitter and YouTube on Fridays. Her Facebook and Twitter handles are all carriejonesbooks or carriejonesbook. But she also has extra cool content focused on writing tips here.

Carrie is reading one of her raw poems every once in awhile on CARRIE DOES POEMS. And there you go! Whew! That's a lot!

How to Stay Motivated Even If You’re a Writer

A lot of writers hate writing. They sit and stare at the blank page or screen. They end up posting about how hard writing is, how torturous. Their post will get them a million likes.

But it wasn’t always like that for that.

Most of us write because at one point we really loved writing. Drawing? The same thing.

There was a study of little kids in a school setting and these little kids really loved to draw. They chose it as a free-time activity over and over again. So the researchers started to give them gold stars for drawing as a reward for the activity. The kids kept drawing. Then the researchers took the gold stars away. The kids stopped drawing—this thing they loved—because they were no longer getting an external reward and dopamine rush for it. Their internal reward that had compelled them to draw earlier? It no longer mattered.

We do this to ourselves all the time. We look to external rewards and validation instead of to the inside.

Dopamine is basically this feel good chemical (or neurotransmitter) that brings information from one neuron to another. Our brains let the dopamine loose into the nervous system when we do the horizontal mambo, when we eat something yummy, when we do cool things, even when we drink or do drugs (which is why those things can be so addictive, right?).

When we do painful things (like running or studying or writing our epic novel about two gerbils against the universe), our brain will release dopamine later for the reward, but in the moment you have to say:

You want to turn effort into reward and pull pleasure from the effort itself, not the reward that comes at the end because that makes you resent the effort. Or if you’re an overthinker (cough), you might realize that there may be no reward at the end, no seven-figure book contract, no marathon that you magically finish in the top ten.

You want the dopamine to be linked to the effort of training, of running, of studying itself, of putting your butt in chair and writing about Xena Gerbil Princess and her true love the gerbil bard, Gabby.

There’s a Navy Seal, David Goggins, retired, right? And he is all about this: about giving what you do everything you have so that you can achieve greatness and self discipline and toughness.

Now, a Navy Seal seems light years away from a writer sending out social media posts about how much they hate writing and how painful it is or about the writer who only looks toward the reward of publication (traditional) or massive sales (independent or traditional).

Why does this matter?

I work with a ton of authors who are so talented. But some can’t bring themselves to write any more. I work with a ton of authors who are so talented. But some are too afraid of rejection to lean in and enjoy their talent or process or even send out some pages.

“Our culture has become hooked on the quick-fix, the life hack, efficiency. Everyone is on the hunt for that simple action algorithm that nets maximum profit with the least amount of effort. There’s no denying this attitude may get you some of the trappings of success, if you’re lucky, but it will not lead to a calloused mind or self-mastery. If you want to master the mind and remove your governor, you’ll have to become addicted to hard work. Because passion and obsession, even talent, are only useful tools if you have the work ethic to back them up.”

Play for the love of playing. - Pogie Pup

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/dopamine

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. 

Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Summer Spliff” by Broke For Free.

WE HAVE EXTRA CONTENT ALL ABOUT LIVING HAPPY OVER HERE! It's pretty awesome.

AND we have a writing tips podcast called WRITE BETTER NOW! It's taking a bit of a hiatus, but there are a ton of tips over there.

We have a podcast, LOVING THE STRANGE, which we stream biweekly live on Carrie’s Facebook and Twitter and YouTube on Fridays. Her Facebook and Twitter handles are all carriejonesbooks or carriejonesbook. But she also has extra cool content focused on writing tips here.

Carrie is reading one of her raw poems every once in awhile on CARRIE DOES POEMS. And there you go! Whew! That's a lot!

Awe can get us through time times, scientists are saying. We'll check this theory out, define awe a bit, and obviously--get goofy.

Sparty says: Slow down. You move too fast. Smell every tree and fire hydrant.

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_awe_can_help_us_through_tough_times

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-023-35200-w

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/six_ways_to_incorporate_awe_into_your_daily_life

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. 

Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Summer Spliff” by Broke For Free.

WE HAVE EXTRA CONTENT ALL ABOUT LIVING HAPPY OVER HERE! It's pretty awesome.

AND we have a writing tips podcast called WRITE BETTER NOW! It's taking a bit of a hiatus, but there are a ton of tips over there.

We have a podcast, LOVING THE STRANGE, which we stream biweekly live on Carrie’s Facebook and Twitter and YouTube on Fridays. Her Facebook and Twitter handles are all carriejonesbooks or carriejonesbook. But she also has extra cool content focused on writing tips here.

Carrie is reading one of her raw poems every once in awhile on CARRIE DOES POEMS. And there you go! Whew! That's a lot!

Ghosts. Sasquatch. Cryptids.

There are entire Facebook posts about them where people share their experiences, one after another after another.

We're going to break format today, share a couple, and trying to figure out why people are so into Bigfoot and why Bigfoot is just not that into you. :) Just kidding!

But seriously, why isn't he into me? I'm super nice.

https://rmsobigfoot.blogspot.com/2023/07/giant-canton-sasquatch-near-abandoned.html?fbclid=IwAR35KDwkxt-pC96rbzCNZvjnJE75xcS455CY-kBNDSP6p6HJe4RAuaKTVDQ

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. 

Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Summer Spliff” by Broke For Free.

WE HAVE EXTRA CONTENT ALL ABOUT LIVING HAPPY OVER HERE! It's pretty awesome.

AND we have a writing tips podcast called WRITE BETTER NOW! It's taking a bit of a hiatus, but there are a ton of tips over there.

We have a podcast, LOVING THE STRANGE, which we stream biweekly live on Carrie’s Facebook and Twitter and YouTube on Fridays. Her Facebook and Twitter handles are all carriejonesbooks or carriejonesbook. But she also has extra cool content focused on writing tips here.

Carrie is reading one of her raw poems every once in awhile on CARRIE DOES POEMS. And there you go! Whew! That's a lot!

Ghosts. Sasquatch. Cryptids.

There are entire Facebook posts about them where people share their experiences, one after another after another.

We're going to break format today, share a couple, and trying to figure out why people are so into Bigfoot and why Bigfoot is just not that into you. :) Just kidding!

But seriously, why isn't he into me? I'm super nice.

https://rmsobigfoot.blogspot.com/2023/07/giant-canton-sasquatch-near-abandoned.html?fbclid=IwAR35KDwkxt-pC96rbzCNZvjnJE75xcS455CY-kBNDSP6p6HJe4RAuaKTVDQ

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. 

Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Summer Spliff” by Broke For Free.

WE HAVE EXTRA CONTENT ALL ABOUT LIVING HAPPY OVER HERE! It's pretty awesome.

We have a podcast, LOVING THE STRANGE, which we stream biweekly live on Carrie’s Facebook and Twitter and YouTube on Fridays. Her Facebook and Twitter handles are all carriejonesbooks or carriejonesbook. But she also has extra cool content focused on writing tips here.

Carrie is reading one of her raw poems every once in awhile on CARRIE DOES POEMS. And there you go! Whew! That's a lot!

There’s a company in Sweden who is now run by a super fitness guy. He’s all in on the exercise. And when he took the company over, some people in the company quit. They were not all in, right? It was just an hour at 9 a.m. on Friday, but they were like hell to the now.

And it’s funny because in school and for a lot of us in college, exercise or sport was something that we had to do. It was play, right? We moved our body and cooperated (sometimes) and had fun.

Exercise is a good idea. Sparty even loves it despite his massive girth and arthritic hips.

https://news.sky.com/story/radars-detect-mile-long-swarm-of-flying-ants-near-uks-south-coast-12917527

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. 

Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Summer Spliff” by Broke For Free.

WE HAVE EXTRA CONTENT ALL ABOUT LIVING HAPPY OVER HERE! It's pretty awesome.

AND we have a writing tips podcast called WRITE BETTER NOW! It's taking a bit of a hiatus, but there are a ton of tips over there.

We have a podcast, LOVING THE STRANGE, which we stream biweekly live on Carrie’s Facebook and Twitter and YouTube on Fridays. Her Facebook and Twitter handles are all carriejonesbooks or carriejonesbook. But she also has extra cool content focused on writing tips here.

Carrie is reading one of her raw poems every once in awhile on CARRIE DOES POEMS. And there you go! Whew! That's a lot!

This episode we're riffing on living in the present tense and also a bit about using it in your writing.

As Peter Selgin says

"Apart from its ubiquity, there are good reasons to be wary of the present tense. Unlike the past tense, which allows narrators unrestricted movement between the past and the present, the present tense locks us into each moment, allowing for little if any reflection. And while the past tense lets us expand, compress, or bypass events according to their dramatic import, since in the present tense everything is happening here and now, it tends to treat all moments equally, however important or not, so a headache gets as much attention as an earthquake."

So, it’s harder to write in the present tense because we are confined a bit more. And hoity-toity writers tend to think of it as a fad though Dickens did it (and others going back to the Ancient Greeks, but whatever . . .

So here are some advantages of the present tense:

Things that suck about present tense:

According to PositivePsychology.com,

"It’s vital to live in the present moment.

In our current twenty-first century lives, it’s not easy. There’s always something coming up that we need to prepare for or anticipate, and our lives are so well-documented that it’s never been easier to get lost in the past.

Given the fast pace and hectic schedules most of us keep, a base level of anxiety, stress, and unhappiness is the new norm. You may not even realize it, but this tendency to get sucked into the past and the future can leave you perpetually worn out and feeling out of touch with yourself.

The cure for this condition is what so many people have been saying all along: conscious awareness and a commitment to staying in the “now.” Living in the present moment is the solution to a problem you may not have known you had."

Sparty says to live for today. Scratch on the door when you want to get out. Poop when you need to. Don't think about the pounds of your doggy past. Enjoy your now.

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. 

Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Summer Spliff” by Broke For Free.

WE HAVE EXTRA CONTENT ALL ABOUT LIVING HAPPY OVER HERE! It's pretty awesome.

AND we have a writing tips podcast called WRITE BETTER NOW! It's taking a bit of a hiatus, but there are a ton of tips over there.

We have a podcast, LOVING THE STRANGE, which we stream biweekly live on Carrie’s Facebook and Twitter and YouTube on Fridays. Her Facebook and Twitter handles are all carriejonesbooks or carriejonesbook. But she also has extra cool content focused on writing tips here.

Carrie is reading one of her raw poems every once in awhile on CARRIE DOES POEMS. And there you go! Whew! That's a lot!

Those two topics aren't necessarily connected.

As a human being, I tend to get sort of an anticipatory anxiety before I do things—a lot. I think of it as stage fright.

And it turns out that this anticipatory sort of anxiety can be a symptom of generalized anxiety disorder or a panic disorder.

Recently, though, I started to think of it as maybe an adrenalin rush that comes from excitement.

Anticipatory anxiety is sometimes overwhelming for me when I watch a video or a movie I have to look away or do something else at the same time. In a book? I’ve been known to turn to the last page just to make sure that everyone says.

Rafa Euba says, “Labeling anxiety as mere excitement seems a bit frivolous, although this might be a question of semantics to a certain extent. I agree that the apprehensive excitement one may feel while parachuting, or on a rollercoaster, may be enjoyable overall, even though it will contain an element of anxiety.”

So, I’m still not sure personally. But I know the feeling before I’m about to give a speech is a very different feeling than when I’m worried about making money.

That dread feeling—that worry for the characters—is a key thing that keeps a reader reading or a viewer watching, but it might not be so awesome as an element in our real lives, right?

Though, side note, there can be positives to some amounts of anxiety. It can help us focus. It helps us not do super stupid things that would kill us. Anxiety keeps us from getting Darwin Awards for trying to feed alligators Bud Light.

So, how do you start to deal with anxiety when it’s not part of a bigger mental health diagnosis?

Try to create a calming routine—work with intention to bring some chill into your day. That might be breathing, meditating, relaxing your muscles, journaling. Record and track your thoughts.

Linda Esposito writes:

"Track your thoughts. A common practice of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is recording your thoughts, followed by the subsequent feelings, and how your feelings then inform your actions.

"For example:

"Here’s an example of a reframed thought:

And realize you can’t control everything. And stop with the big all-encompassing words like always, complete failure, total success, everybody, never, nobody.

Try to cultivate your chill

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/you-are-not-meant-to-be-happy/202305/is-there-such-a-thing-as-good-anxiety

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anxiety-zen/202011/how-cope-anticipatory-anxiety

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. 

Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Summer Spliff” by Broke For Free.

WE HAVE EXTRA CONTENT ALL ABOUT LIVING HAPPY OVER HERE! It's pretty awesome.

AND we have a writing tips podcast called WRITE BETTER NOW! It's taking a bit of a hiatus, but there are a ton of tips over there.

We have a podcast, LOVING THE STRANGE, which we stream biweekly live on Carrie’s Facebook and Twitter and YouTube on Fridays. Her Facebook and Twitter handles are all carriejonesbooks or carriejonesbook. But she also has extra cool content focused on writing tips here.

Carrie is reading one of her raw poems every once in awhile on CARRIE DOES POEMS. And there you go! Whew! That's a lot!

Those two topics aren't necessarily connected.

As a human being, I tend to get sort of an anticipatory anxiety before I do things—a lot. I think of it as stage fright.

And it turns out that this anticipatory sort of anxiety can be a symptom of generalized anxiety disorder or a panic disorder.

Recently, though, I started to think of it as maybe an adrenalin rush that comes from excitement.

Anticipatory anxiety is sometimes overwhelming for me when I watch a video or a movie I have to look away or do something else at the same time. In a book? I’ve been known to turn to the last page just to make sure that everyone says.

Rafa Euba says, “Labeling anxiety as mere excitement seems a bit frivolous, although this might be a question of semantics to a certain extent. I agree that the apprehensive excitement one may feel while parachuting, or on a rollercoaster, may be enjoyable overall, even though it will contain an element of anxiety.”

So, I’m still not sure personally. But I know the feeling before I’m about to give a speech is a very different feeling than when I’m worried about making money.

That dread feeling—that worry for the characters—is a key thing that keeps a reader reading or a viewer watching, but it might not be so awesome as an element in our real lives, right?

Though, side note, there can be positives to some amounts of anxiety. It can help us focus. It helps us not do super stupid things that would kill us. Anxiety keeps us from getting Darwin Awards for trying to feed alligators Bud Light.

So, how do you start to deal with anxiety when it’s not part of a bigger mental health diagnosis?

Try to create a calming routine—work with intention to bring some chill into your day. That might be breathing, meditating, relaxing your muscles, journaling. Record and track your thoughts.

Linda Esposito writes:

"Track your thoughts. A common practice of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is recording your thoughts, followed by the subsequent feelings, and how your feelings then inform your actions.

"For example:

• Thought: If things don’t go as planned, I will be miserable.

"Here’s an example of a reframed thought:

• Thought: Although I don’t like uncertainty and I’m worried about the future, I have agency over how much time and energy I spend worrying.

And realize you can’t control everything. And stop with the big all-encompassing words like always, complete failure, total success, everybody, never, nobody.

Try to cultivate your chill

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/you-are-not-meant-to-be-happy/202305/is-there-such-a-thing-as-good-anxiety

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anxiety-zen/202011/how-cope-anticipatory-anxiety

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. 

Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Summer Spliff” by Broke For Free.

WE HAVE EXTRA CONTENT ALL ABOUT LIVING HAPPY OVER HERE! It's pretty awesome.

We have a podcast, LOVING THE STRANGE, which we stream biweekly live on Carrie’s Facebook and Twitter and YouTube on Fridays. Her Facebook and Twitter handles are all carriejonesbooks or carriejonesbook. But she also has extra cool content focused on writing tips here.

Carrie is reading one of her raw poems every once in awhile on CARRIE DOES POEMS. And there you go! Whew! That's a lot!