Doing well, feeling fine

In this episode I am sitting down with Professor Simon Critchley: 

He is the Hans Jonas Professor of Philosophy at the New School for Social Research.

Simon and I discuss the role of story and narrative in making sense of our biographies. 

We explore how the stories we tell about ourselves often rely on stability and coherence. The reason is to convey authenticity. And perhaps in some ways to fit a mold others recognize and value. 

In practice, though, we often don’t live in a very consistent or coherent way. As Simon and I discuss, insisting on the constancy and continuity of the self is a bit of a fiction.

Against the narrative version of the self, living out a coherent story, Simon pits the “episodic self”. On this account, we live out our biographies in fits and bursts, stops and starts; in episodes, which don’t necessarily add up to a coherent whole. 

Rather than seeing this fragmentation as a problem, as a kind of identity crisis, leaving people to wonder who they “really” are, Simon celebrates the “freedom *from* identity”. 

He argues that our attachment to “authenticity” is restraining, and that there is freedom in trying out new episodes, new versions of the self, all the time. 

There are many sides to us, and we constantly evolve - especially if we are open to getting outside our heads and looking at what’s going on in the world. Here, we connect back to episode #24 on this podcast with Christian Madsbjerg in which we discuss how to see with neutral eyes (I can really recommend this conversation; please do check out the episode if you have a chance).

In the end of our conversation, the version of the self that we land on is that of the curious observer; less obsessed with their own narrative and presentation of self, and more open to new impulses and people. 

I found this conversation insightful and really refreshing - and hope you do, too. 

In this episode, I am talking to Dr. Peter Kim. He is a Professor of Management and Organization at University of Southern California’s Marshall School of Business. His research focuses on the dynamics of social misperception, with a particular focus on the violation and repair of trust.

His latest book is called How trust works: the science of how relationships are built, broken, and repaired. 

In this conversation, we kick off by exploring the broader question of what trust actually is. The most cited definition of trust is that of: "The willingness of a party to be vulnerable to the actions of another party based on the expectation that the other will perform a particular action important to the trustor, irrespective of the ability to monitor or control that other party" (source).

We find that trust is ultimately about how we navigate mixed-motive situations: Does the other seek to benefit only themselves or others, too? 

We then look at how you scientifically measure how trust is established, broken, and repaired. What do the studies, the experiments look like?

Then we touch on how trust is built. You might know the trust equation (e.g., from the work of Charles Green) that describes trustworthiness as the result of credibility + reliability + intimacy (or openness); all divided by self-orientation. But the scientific literature has a few more factors worth considering:

1) availability, being present when needed 

2) competence, skills and professionalism

3) consistency or even loyalty 

4) discreetness

5) fairness and other markers of integrity

6) benevolence and benign intent

7) openness, not just in the sense of being ready to share, but also in the sense of being receptive and responsive.  

The elements of the trust equation will get you far, however, it is ultimately about figuring out the traits that are most important in a given situation and bolstering those. 

We then turn to the role of competence and integrity:

As Dr. Kim argues, we weigh matters of competence and integrity differently: in breaches of trust, lapses in integrity weigh more heavily than incompetence.

So how do we differentiate matters of competence and integrity? We don't do it well! We are easily influenced and led astray by our biases. Also, most matters are not clear cut; often both dimensions are involved when trust is broken. 

We explore whether we should be more trusting, pay it forward and assume good intent? Will people abuse trust or work to prove trusting people right? Peter Kim tells us that research shows “people who are more trusting are happier in life”.

Finally, we cover our unknown irrationalities when it comes to trusting others: Trust is so vital. But we make these judgements poorly. Here's one nugget from the research: It turns out we want to preserve relations with those in power, so we find reasons to trust them more.

Hope you enjoy this far-ranging conversation with Dr. Peter H. Kim.

In this episode, I am speaking to the amazing and prolific Viv Groskop (www.vivgroskop.com). She is a journalist, author, podcaster, and comedian.   

She is the author of 6 books, two of which we spend some time on in this episode: “How to Own the Room” and her recent book, out now, called “Happy High Status”. 

In our conversation, we talk a bit about Viv’s experiences with comedy and what it’s taught her. we work through how our minds trick us about how we are perceived by others, for example.  

We talk about her book chapter “How to be more like a comedian (well, sort of)”. What that gets at is how to bring more lightness, joy, and fun into our lives, without becoming clownish, of course. 

We then turn to how to own the room in a way that is authentic to you: This could involve extraversion, positive energy even enthusiasm, but it can also be about radiating a kind of quiet energy, focus, presence. 

In short, we discuss, "how to exist in life in front of other people", as Viv puts. 

We then finally turn to happy high status, the subject of her latest book. It’s about being at ease, radiating a kind of self-assuredness, without arrogance. We land on a definition that blends humility and confidence into an authentic presence. 

Really enjoyed this conversation with Viv Groskop, and hope you do, too!

New episodes are in the bag, and we are back for the next "season".

In this episode, I am in NY, sitting down with Christian Madsbjerg who is a professor at NY's New School and co-founder of consulting firm ReD Associates. Christian teaches widely on the practical application of the human sciences. Here are some key questions and insights from our conversation:

Finally, Christian leaves us with perhaps one of the most distinctive accounts of observation, here, in the context of wildlife: we talk about J.A. Baker's classic The Peregrine, published over 50 years ago, and still such a compelling account of how to look without judging or opining.

LOVED this conversation and hope you find it valuable.

Today’s episode features Anabel Maldonado, CEO of psykhe.ai. Anabel trained as a psychologist and studied how measurable personality traits lead to predictable consumer choices. Building on the classic “OCEAN” model of personality, she developed a framework to explain what about us is driving taste. 

Across openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness and neuroticism - the dimensions of the OCEAN model - there are patterns that influence what products we will perceive as “relevant”. 

This insight can be used to address a particularly thorny problem in ecommerce: showing customers that part of the assortment, that they are most likely to experience as personally relevant, thereby increasing conversion rate.  

In the episode, Anabel takes us down Rue St. Honoré in Paris, into the world of Rick Owens, Ann Demeulemeester, Loewe bubble glasses, and why it is that some of us respond to their allure. 

She also describes a few lessons learnt in building a business on “personalization-as-a-service” for brands and retailers. If you love founder stories, are fascinated by the challenge of making a virtual “endless shelf space” relevant to users, and love fashion, this episode’s for you… 

This episode concludes Season 1 of DWFF. I’ll take a few weeks off until the beginning of October to shape the topic list and guest line-up for Season 2.

If you have feedback on which episodes you found particularly interesting, or not, I would love to hear from you! Send a brief message to [email protected] and help to shape the next season!

By all standards, Phumi Morare was on a stellar path: following 4 years on the credit risk team at Goldman Sachs and two years at McKinsey & Company, she still decided to begin again: In 2017, she pursued her passion for film-making and set sail for film school in LA.

We did an episode on endings and beginnings on this podcast (#14, with Angus Ridgway). In it we explore, what happens when it's time for change: how do we know the moment has arrived? How do we think about our reputations and others' expectations of us?

Phumi took a massive risk to begin again in one of the most competitive industries of them all. Her story is one of taking the less popular path and eating into her savings to fund a dream. It worked: in 2022 her film was nominated for an Academy Award in the live action short-film category. She is now working on a feature film commission.

This is her story, so far.

In this episode, I head to the seaside to join my mother on a week-long fasting retreat. I cover some of the purported benefits of fasting and compare that with my own experience, recorded during the retreat. For sure, I can report significant weight loss of 6kg. But was it mostly water, muscle or fat loss?

Fasting is also associated with a series of physiological and psychological benefits, e.g., reported increases in clarity, mood, and even energy. Did that pan out? What worked and what didn't, and was it worth it?

Check out this short episode to find out!

Please note, this is not medical advice, and I am not a medical doctor or practitioner. Always speak to your physician before considering to fast.

This week I am sitting down with the amazing Baratunde Thurston! Another "renaissance human" on the podcast, combining a passion for the performing arts with a serious mission to drive broader social change by increasing what he calls "small-d democracy" - having all of us involved and living out our civic duties. Doing well, feeling fine is not just a project of the individual; responsible, autonomous agents get involved in their community. In this episode, Baratunde describes what that can look like.

In the first part of the show, we cover Baratunde's portfolio of work (including but not limited to his How To Citizen podcast, website and initiative). We talk about his background, education, foray into business. We trace back how his passion for the artistic and creative became intertwined with his entrepreneurship and political mission.

From minute 29 onwards, we focus specifically on "citizen as a verb", and discuss his vision for a renewed, functional, inclusive democracy.

You can find his website here.

Here is a trailer for his PBS show America Outdoors.

This is the link to the How to Citizen podcast.

This week, I am sitting down with Peter Semple, who managed to combine his personal passion and professional mission: Peter is Chief Marketing Officer at Depop. Before that, he spent 7 years in Google’s Creative Lab. His love of culture, fashion, art and music naturally flows into his work as CMO of Depop.

Depop is a global, community-powered, 2nd-hand fashion marketplace with over 30m registered users, over 30m available items, and up to 140k listings every day. The majority of Depop’s users fall into the Gen Z demographic. So Peter and his team truly understand how to build a product that resonates with Gen Y and Z customers, which we unpack.

In our conversation, we cover:

In our conversation, we reference the project Exactitudes, which meticulously documents fashion micro-trends. We also refer to DJ Shadow, beat producers and legendary DJ, whose classic album Endtroducing contains the tracks "Building steam with a grain of salt" and "Midnight in a perfect world". Two of my favourite pieces of music. Please do check them out if you love hip hop and beats. A new DJ Shadow album is apparently forthcoming in September.

In the area of "body recomposition" (fat loss, muscle gain), Andy Morgan is one of the most experienced coaches and client advisers around. He is also one of the most generous, offering his insights from over a decade of serving >1100 clients successfully on his website for free www.rippedbody.com.

The site is an absolute treasure chest of relevant, fact-based research around dieting and strength training. I can only recommend looking at articles published there if you are interested in these topics.

On this episode, we cover:

(1) Food choices as evaluated by calorie density compared to satiety (whether the foods make you feel full). Fun fact, the humble potato at 15g net carbs per 100g of the vegetable is one of the hidden champions of the satiety/per kcal ratio. It is also strangely demonized in much diet advice.

(2) We talk about intermittent fasting and its uses. Andy was an early adopter of this technique in 2011/2012 in his work with clients. We discuss whether this is still a helpful tool today, given the latest research.

(3) We talk about what to do when our diet compliance caves for a day or two, how that might show up physically, and what to do to recover (vs. drop into a negative spiral).

(4) We discuss the importance of food environments and how simple changes to our environment can play a major role in diet adherence. It might be useful to check out this article here, on Andy's website.

(5) Finally, we reflect on whether technology is likely to disrupt this space... or not any time soon.

Andy published several books on nutrition and training, which you can find here. We also cite eatthismuch.com as an easy tool for converting target calories into meal plans.