Doing What Works

Part two of the shingles vaccine knocked Darrell and me out so thoroughly we couldn’t record a show with Katie the way we usually do, so we gave her the day off and kept sleeping and eventually summoned enough energy to have a conversation we’re eager to share with you. Darrell grew up on a farm, and in this edition of Doing What Works I asked him the questions I probably should’ve asked him many years (decades!) ago. I hope you find the conversation as interesting as I did.

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Want to learn more about Darrell’s radio show [https://northshoreproductions.com/], Farm to Fork?

Want to read the new book by Greg Zuckerman, A Shot to Save the World [https://www.amazon.com/Shot-Save-World-Life-Death-ebook/dp/B098RQP754]?

Biking, running, even going to dinner or a movie. Does doing something with a lot of other people enhance the experience? Darrell and Katie and I think it does, and in this edition of Doing What Works we’ll make that case for each of those examples. If you find it difficult to stick to an exercise routine, doing that with others might make it easier. Maybe even easy!

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Forty thousand bikers riding through all five boroughs of New York City? Yep! The event was May 1st this year [https://www.bike.nyc/events/td-five-boro-bike-tour/].

The Riverview Theater in Minneapolis [http://www.riverviewtheater.com/] is a family favorite.

When Katie was in elementary school she learned a painful lesson about entitlement that’s paying dividends to this day. No spoilers, but it’s one reason you won’t want to miss this edition of Doing What Works. We’ll also give you the recipe for making thank-you notes easier for children to write, because (you guessed it!) gratitude is the antidote for a sense of entitlement.

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Sarah Ban Breathnach [http://www.sarahbanbreathnach.com/] is credited with making gratitude journals not only popular but ubiquitous.

When you look ahead to the end of your life, what do you see? I see a big box of treasures to hand over to Katie. One of them is a montage of the funniest parts of my favorite movies. To the extent anyone gets together to say goodbye, I want that to be the entertainment. Katie would have a bedazzling station. You wouldn’t be required to partake, but you would make her life (so to speak) if you do. Want more ideas for putting the fun in funeral? You’ll find them in this edition of Doing What Works.

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Funerals are sad, but boring [https://twitter.com/DoingWhatWorks/status/1274081981253529601].

If you haven’t watched the “Chuckles Bites the Dust” episode of The Mary Tyler Moore Show [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0o-xrio1ESA], there’s no better time than now!

There’s another attack of silly at a funeral in the second season of Ted Lasso [https://screenrant.com/ted-lasso-funeral-episode-grief-humor-balance-how/].

“Death makes the rope taut.” That’s from When I Stop Talking, You’ll Know I’m Dead author Jerry Weintraub [https://www.amazon.com/When-Stop-Talking-Youll-Know/dp/0446548162].

“When I graduated from high school, I had already used up 93% of my in-person parent time. I’m now enjoying the last 5% of that time. We’re in the tail end.” That’s from Tim Urban [https://waitbutwhy.com/2015/12/the-tail-end.html].

Improv Everywhere [https://twitter.com/ImprovEvery] is a great reminder we’re making life up as we go.

As infractions go, letting a child eat a banana at the grocery store before you’ve paid for that probably wouldn’t make anyone’s list of what’s evil. But what do you think? Is it stealing? And at what price point does stealing become evil? In this edition of Doing What Works we linger on questions like that because we believe one task of life is to become better people as we age.

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Good is getting pleasure from helping others; evil is getting pleasure from hurting others. In general! That frame is from Dilbert creator Scott Adams [https://twitter.com/ScottAdamsSays].

“So casually cruel in the name of being honest” is from Taylor Swift [https://www.taylorswift.com/].

The simple model of rational crime [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-science-of-lying_b_6851312] explains a lot!

What happens when you’re stressed? Do you panic and lash out? Do you stay cool, or at least give the impression you are? Panic is, at best, distracting -- but it can easily make things worse. That’s why, in this edition of Doing What Works, we’ll help you get some emotional distance from the stressor so you can stay classier.

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When someone is letting you have it, customer service expert Rich Gallagher [https://ezinearticles.com/expert/Richard_Gallagher/258762] suggests you find something (anything!) you agree with so as to bring down the temperature in the room.

Career coach Barbara Sher [http://www.barbarasher.com/index.htm] says imaginary problems are insurmountable; real ones are not.

What if what you’re about to say were the last words someone would hear from you? A question from conductor Ben Zander [https://www.ted.com/speakers/benjamin_zander].

Do you teach people how to treat you? Do you know how to pick up a duck? Would you try to impress someone you’re dating by picking up a turkey? How can you keep criticism from sounding mean-spirited? How would you classify this edition of Doing What Works? As an experiment! We talk about everything from The West Wing to road rage, skin cancer prevention, and keeping your composure on a game show.

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Dr. Phil says you teach people how to treat you [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/dr-phil-teach-people-how-to-treat-you_n_4776336].

How to pick up a duck! [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCiZfoZ6uf0]

In case you haven’t heard of Wordle, here it is [https://www.nytimes.com/games/wordle/index.html].

Love is the quality of attention you pay to things [https://www.themarginalian.org/2018/07/13/kahlil-gibran-prophet-love/].

The West Wing [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0200276/] is a family favorite.

Amy Schumer has been living for years with a hairpulling disorder [https://www.everydayhealth.com/emotional-health/amy-schumer-trichotillomania-what-you-need-to-know-about-hair-pulling-disorder/].

Pat Sajak urges Wheel of Fortune fans to have some compassion [https://www.themix.net/2022/03/wheel-of-fortune-host-pat-sajak-begs-fans-to-have-a-little-heart-after-contestants-are-brutally-mocked-for-whiffing-this-easy-puzzle/].

How do you push past the feeling that nothing you’re about to create is worth sharing with anyone? It’s a question Katie had for me in this edition of Doing What Works, and the answer might just help you keep at it. That’s the goal!

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Are you what career coach Barbara Sher calls a Scanner? [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o29KOV0jYRM]

In The Career Clinic: Eight Simple Rules for Finding Work You Love [https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001UE88OK/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0], the writer Dave Barry [https://www.instagram.com/davebarrysdog/] says he periodically announces he can’t do it anymore because he sucks at it.

Scared? Don’t know what to do? Here’s the antidote [https://twitter.com/davidbauer/status/678229818408849409]!

Writer’s block? Pshaw. Seth Godin says no one gets talker’s block [https://seths.blog/2011/09/talkers-block/].

“You may have a gift that other people have,” says Dick Bolles, author of What Color Is Your Parachute? [https://www.parachutebook.com/], “but you also have other gifts. And it’s the way you string those gifts together, much like beads on a necklace, that makes you you.”

It was love at first sight. I mean play. And with just that one set of keystrokes I was suddenly…texting Katie? Yep. Exchanging Wordle scores hooked me on something more important, regular but casual exchanges with Kate via text. How you do anything is how you do everything, as they say, and in this edition of Doing What Works we’ll inspire you to do something (anything!) new -- just to see where it takes you.

Here are your show notes…

Here’s…Wordle [https://www.nytimes.com/games/wordle/index.html]!

This is Wordle [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/wordle-craze-2022/], explained by the folks at CBS News.

If you’re a creative who wants inspiration for staying in the game, I cannot recommend the work of Steven Pressfield [https://stevenpressfield.com/blog/] highly enough.

Do you have a growth mindset [https://www.amazon.com/Mindset-Psychology-Carol-S-Dweck/dp/0345472322]?

Are you interested in variations on Wordle? Here are a few! Heardle [https://www.heardle.app/], Worldle [https://worldle.teuteuf.fr/], and Taylordle [https://www.taylordle.com/].

The first rule of “I’ll Fix Things Myself” Club is to be sure you can finish something before you get started. So says our producer, Darrell Anderson, who takes the reins of this edition of Doing What Works with a very proud Katie. Kate can change a bike flat on her own now, after years of biking around New York City and relying on others to do that. If you want to change your opinion of yourself, a simple do-it-yourself project is a great place to begin. Really!

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We’ve spent so much time at The Container Store [https://www.containerstore.com/welcome.htm] over the years that Katie jokes she grew up there.

Would you like a simple explanation of the self-efficacy theory [https://www.simplypsychology.org/self-efficacy.html]?

Do you have a growth mindset? [https://www.amazon.com/Mindset-Psychology-Carol-S-Dweck/dp/0345472322]