Doing What Works

It’s scary to overhaul your life, and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. Maybe you believe that; maybe you don’t. But you can make a big change much less scary by breaking it down and biting off smaller chunks. In this edition of Doing What Works we’ll show you that one small step for man, taken over and over, means one giant leap for manifesting the life you want.

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The Career Clinic: Eight Simple Rules for Finding Work You Love [https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001UE88OK/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0] is filled with inspiring stories of career changers.

Just how many little-kid drawings, as a mom, are you expected to save for posterity? That’s one of so many reasons you might enjoy Atlas of the Heart [https://www.amazon.com/Atlas-Heart-Meaningful-Connection-Experience/dp/0399592555?asin=0399592555&revisionId=&format=4&depth=1].

When in doubt, suggests Gretchen Rubin [https://twitter.com/gretchenrubin], choose the bigger life.

Being busy doesn’t necessarily mean you’re accomplishing anything that matters. In this edition of Doing What Works, Katie and I invite you to put yourself on the list of people to please. If you’re doing things you care about, you probably won’t need a boss (read: babysitter). And for other things, like housework and taxes, we offer you a buffet of strategies that will help keep you on track.

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Inside the mind of a master procrastinator! [https://www.ted.com/talks/tim_urban_inside_the_mind_of_a_master_procrastinator]

“We don’t have to wear suits anymore. Everyone who started that is dead.” [https://twitter.com/LukeMones/status/751576922631593985]

How do you respond to expectations? Take Gretchen Rubin’s quiz [https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/four-tendencies-quiz/] and find out.

“To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan, and not quite enough time.” [https://twitter.com/chrisguillebeau/status/689961989523804161].

You don’t have eight hours a day for creative work. You have two. Plan accordingly. [https://twitter.com/naval]

Have you ever thought about making a list of all the things you’re good at? As we point out in this edition of Doing What Works, you might be amazed by that. You might be inspired to combine those activities in a new way and go after a different job. At the very least you’ll come away from the exercise with more respect for yourself.

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“Don’t worry. We can walk to the curb from here.” That’s from Annie Hall [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075686/quotes/?ref_=tt_trv_qu].

What are you good at, and where would you most like to use your gifts? What Color Is Your Parachute? [https://www.parachutebook.com/] will help you answer those questions.

“Enthusiasm is a form of social courage.” That’s from Gretchen Rubin [https://gretchenrubin.com/2014/04/secret-of-adulthood-enthusiasm-is-a-form-of-social-courage/].

“Don’t correct people if you know what they mean.” [https://twitter.com/kimlockhartga/status/767439453035999233]

Mindset author Carol Dweck says you can’t hand children self-esteem by telling them they’re great [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-right-way-to-praise-a-child_b_8351710].

Reaching for your phone partway through people’s stories won’t kill them, granted. But they die a little inside. Does that count? At Doing What Works we think it does. And that’s why we’ve devoted this edition of the show to the fine art of giving others what we all crave, attention.

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“What is it like to be on the receiving end of desperate calls for help . . . every day?” You’ll find one woman’s answer in Answering 911 [https://www.amazon.com/Answering-911-Life-Hot-Seat/dp/0873516028].

“The day you realize that your efforts and rewards are not related, it really frees up your calendar.” That’s from Scott Adams [https://twitter.com/ScottAdamsSays].

“Twitter’s original name was ‘Sentence Contest.’” [https://twitter.com/ariscott/status/312674580022046720]

When your long and heartfelt message is returned with a fraction of the words and intensity, it’s easy to feel slighted. To keep others from feeling that way, mirror them. You can do it with the same relative number of words and emojis, and with body language if you’re in person. We’ll give you lots to think about in this edition of Doing What Works.

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Dr. Nick Morgan [https://publicwords.com/] is a public speaking coach who’s a fan of mirroring the body language of a person you’re in conversation with.

“Action precedes feeling.” That’s from acting coach Jane Brody [https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0111036/].

Executive Presence [https://www.amazon.com/Executive-Presence-Missing-Between-Success/dp/0062246895] is a guidebook for navigating the workplace as it is, not as you wish it was.

Richard Branson [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Branson] once mirrored his interviewer so thoroughly it was almost as if the two were playing limbo.

Dave Barry [http://davebarry.com/] is a humor writer who won a Pulitzer Prize.

Michael Feuer [http://tipsfromthetop.info/about/], co-founder of OfficeMax, says if the person you’re speaking with is crying, you need to adjust.

My favorite way to store memories is the way I haven’t come up with yet. When Katie was little her Easter crosswords doubled as “year in review” celebrations. More recently I’ve thanked her for a fun visit with substitute liner notes from a Taylor Swift album. Still more recently I put the recap of our Christmas on an IMDb page. And Katie? She could write (illustrate!) a book with how she stores memories as comics. You’ll find more ideas in this edition of Doing What Works.

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“A punctum is the little, unexpected extra in a photo. … It is simultaneously never the subject and entirely the subject.” [https://www.dianewehr.com/blog/2020/7/23/what-is-a-punctum-in-street-photography]

An autobiography is chronological. A memoir is a slice of life. [https://www.skillshare.com/blog/memoir-vs-autobiography-whats-the-difference/]

“Honestly, it’s not for everyone.” A tourism slogan for the state of Nebraska [https://twitter.com/gretchenrubin/status/1099132488562167809].

“A lot of acting fascinated.” That’s Jerry Seinfeld, on his many years of dating [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-lies-and-conflict/201704/why-your-lover-is-lying-you].

Want to see the photo display Darrell and I created for Katie’s high school graduation? [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/dazzle-your-party-guests_b_4112257]

The most difficult thing about wrangling those nasty voices inside your head is remembering they’re at it again. The tapes we run play on a loop, after all, and we get used to them. That’s why we hope you’ll look at this edition of Doing What Works as a reset. Give yourself permission to look at where you are in life, not be happy with it, and grieve what might have been. Then, as gently as you would a child, cheer the new you into being.

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“That’s why you play until the end.” That was Tom Brady [https://www.instagram.com/tombrady/] after the Patriots came from behind to win the Super Bowl in 2017.

Can you look with compassion at the person you used to be? Katie and I hope we can inspire that in this edition of Doing What Works. If you make it a habit, it’ll help you become the person you aspire to be. A journal can help, and that’s one reason we’re both fans. A journal is a record of your character transformation!

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“If you compare yourself to others you will become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.” That’s from the Desiderata [https://www.desiderata.com/desiderata.html].

The Big Leap [https://www.amazon.com/Big-Leap-Conquer-Hidden-Level/dp/0061735361], by Gay Hendricks, might change how you think about what you deserve.

“Don’t forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he wanted. He lived happily ever after.” That’s from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory [https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/106816-mr-wonka-don-t-forget-what-happened-to-the-man-who].

Funeral director Elizabeth Fournier [https://www.thegreenreaper.org/] played funeral when she was little.

Katie used to take for granted her skin isn’t orange. Not anymore! Darrell and Maureen used to take level surfaces for granted, and now they don’t. Oh, but this edition of Doing What Works isn’t an admonition to count your blessings; it’s a suggestion to take some things for granted and bask in the everything-will-probably-be-okayness of life.

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The conductor Benjamin Zander [https://www.ted.com/speakers/benjamin_zander] says his job is to awaken possibility in other people. If their eyes are shining, he’s doing it.

Who do you aspire to be, and is that what you’re giving off? In this edition of the show we talk about your brand -- not because we love the word (we hate it!), but because paying attention to it is part of doing what works. People like knowing what to expect from you. Even better, you’ll love the feeling of being true to yourself.

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When Katie and I want a tattoo, we trust Ariel [https://blindreasontattoo.com/].

The most important metric to track is personal energy [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/did-you-know-goals-are-fo_b_7719012].