.The song this week is from my doowop album "Doowop Days" which takes us back to the golden day of the 50s....the song is called "What Happened To Julie?" and wonders ... I watched Comic Relief....I must say it was a relief when to was over.......however I was well impressed with #Ed Sheeran who really is a huge talent.... I tuned into BBC #Newswatch where there was a lot of complaints about the excessive coverage of the death of Martin McGuiness and the London terror attack....which is what we discussed last week...lots of Emails and video appearances complaining...then they bring on this BBC bigshot who didn't answer any of the complaints..... I must say I do like characters who say it like it is....#JohnLydon was on the breakfast programme promoting his book and gave his opinions on Brexit,sovereignty,politicians and a few other topics...he is a strange bloke but talks a lot of sense... ....it concerns a huge explosion in #Bebington #Wirral which destroyed a large dance studio and several houses close by....

The song this week is a track off an album I did taking a look at film stars...this one is called "The Ballad Of Burt Lancaster"...and came about after some ugly rumours were spread about my hero....he seemed to spend rather a lot of time in male company so eyebrows were raised....but I'm having NONE of it !!!!....as indeed the song says. .I was sad to hear of the passing of the great Chuck Berry...to me he was the undisputed king of rock and roll and was a huge influence on so many guitarists...myself included....his songs were not only lyrically brilliant they were uncomplicated and easy to play...once you get those classic riffs off away you go....no rehearsals required....I saw him live on three occasions and his charisma was stunning.....his sound wasn't to clever...but it was CHUCK....even today you play a bit of Chuck and everyone gets up to dance....he was a one-off...irreplaceable. The "experts" have been at it again....apparently if you work at the top of a high rise building you could get depressed...not necessarily because of the job...wait for it...because the building wobbles....obviously the buildings are designed to withstand the wobble (I hope) but those inside are apparently affected psychologically....they KNOW this because other countries have also done tests....and this wonderful experiment has only cost 7 million to come to this conclusion....good value or what?....it would be interesting to know how they arrive at this figure...and where the money actually goes ... ...and talking of money we are not being bombarded with the Comic Relief Appeal....which is great...as indeed are all these fund-raising activities....I'm even part of one myself where we have weekly rock and roll jam sessions and raise money for sick kids...but what I just don't get is why money should have to be raised for starving kids and the homeless etc by the general public....a bunch of billionaire Sheiks and Arabs and even our own Royal hangers on could solve the problem overnight...we are constantly being told that £5 will feed a starving child for a week...or buy a homeless person socks and gloves....Tony Blair gets 250 grand for ONE after dinner speech....that's 5000 fivers...how can you possibly justify this sort of payout?....and that's ONE person.....and the stupid part is the filthy rich wouldn't even miss the money....it's obscene...not to mention the 60 billion high speed train service no-one wants. I don't know whether it's an age thing but I find the news programmes are going worse...especially the BBC...I feel if I never watch the news it would make no difference as there is never anything informative...it's just constant drawn out items repeated every 20 minutes....the death of Martin McGuiness was reported as "breaking news" for an hour...how many times do we need telling?...fortunately ITV get a better balance....if you can stand the adverts.

The song this week is one close to my heart..."The Magic of #Wales"....it is sung by #Paul Damian and was the follow up to How To Say Llanfair P.G.....which has had 1.3 million hits on #YouTube There has been a lot of discussion on the news lately concerning speeding...they had a lady on whose son was killed by a speeding taxi........ #Brexit is building up to a crescendo...and still no-one seems to know what is going on...all made more complicated by #NicolaSturgeon still trying to get independence for Scotland.......everyone would go out and buy shoes with leather souls ... when you get to a certain age it is hard to find decent entertainment...I often wonder who decides to put boring soaps on TV...or people being chopped up in A & E...or sit-coms like Benidorm... Because there is so little of interest on TV I have been watching the remake of "Roots" which is very interesting...

The song I have sent is called "Love At First Sight" ..it is a track off my #Doowop Album called "Doowop Days" (available from my website www.donwoods.co.uk).... I was browsing through Facebook and came across an article about The Swinging Blue Jeans.....but if they can make money kidding people who fall for it good luck to them. I watched #TheVoice ...two hours of hopefuls hoping to "change their lives"...and wanting to "fulfil their dreams". We are now finding planets billions of miles away which could support life and finding new universes....yet we can't predict the weather for the following day.... forecasts why have them? With modern technology what I fail to understand is the mentality of those boneheads who send out viruses.......how sad must someone be getting entertainment from spoiling the lives of those you don't even know........but I have a better vision of someone finding them out and introducing their teeth to a baseball bat.

......I was watching an old #Hollywood movie this week and it starred #Barbara Stanwyck... wrote a song for a novelty album which explains this...The Ballad of Barbara Stanwyck... There has been a bit of a moan about bad diction in dramas... ...I have always gone on about this.......my wife tells me I'm going deaf but now she knows it's not just ME!!.....what's the point of dialogue if you can't hear whats being said... I always thought whoever came up with the idea of selling bottled water was a genius...it's WATER which in the civilised world you get from a tap.. has come up with bottled FRESH AIR!!!....yep AIR...and wait for it £80 a bottle... There has been a programme on TV about #WindsorCastle and the Royals don't come off too well. the House of Lords have been popping in to get their £300 daily allowance while leaving the taxi running outside........the scientists are at it again....they have discovered planets so many light years away which could possibly support life...wow!!...how mind blowing is that?...SO WHAT......the money could be put to far better use

The song I've sent you this week is ..The Ballad of Forgotten Popstars and lists those artists who entertained us in the early ... Big news ..a GLOBAL survey no less!!....it was discovered that vitamin D can prevent you getting a cold...so there....snd .....heading a football can cause dementure because some aging footballers suffer with this.. Stoke-On-Trent council have suggested giving expectant can't say "mothers" any more...giving expectant PARENTS vouchers to encourage them to stop smoking.......also Liverpool Council have come up with another wonderful idea.... I am really enjoying Donald Trump's appearances on the news...he is classic entertainment... Our wonderful ex PM. ...and we should rise up and vote again...to stay in...that's rich from a man who caused an unnecessary war ....So Tony thinks we should stay in Europe?...could the reason possibly be that Brexit might effect his 435 grand salary ....all supplied by the taxpayer...

The song this week is a track off The Cheshire Cats album we made around 2005...it featured some of the local musicians who used to give their services free to the charity....this is Route 66 by my lad Steve....who played in my band for a while....he was a handy guitarist and bass player as can be heard...the Cheshire Cats can be found on our website www.thecheshirecats.co.uk ...we still meet up each week and rock. There has been quite a bit of coverage on the latest phenomenon....fake news......and about time too seeing as MOST of our population believe what they read in the papers......I don't know how they get away with it - they must have a good legal setup......as far as I'm concerned anything false which is put into print is slander which is an offence and those responsible should be hammered in court....the problem these days is stupid careless untrue statements can ruin lived thanks to social media....yet no-one seems to be brought to account. The Beckham situation hasn't done Mr.Wonderful any favours....on his hacked Email he was criticising those who received honours...including Kathryn Jenkins....how dare he criticise my favourite lady....she once did a programme on "The best views in Britain" and I wrote to a magazine letters page and said SHE was the best view in Britain....and got 15 quid for the "star letter"....Knights of the Realm should be present day versions of some armour clad macho man protecting our country from it's enemies with a big sword...like SIR Galahad....THAT is a knight of the realm....SOLDIERS are knights of the realm and should all be knighted....what has Van Morrison...Rod Stewart...Mick Jagger etc etc done except make a lot of money for themselves simply doing a JOB??...the whole system needs scrapping before we have SIR Jedward !! There is a KILLER on the loose !!....our sheeple are under vicious attack !!....they are getting their fish and chips STOLEN by evil SEAGULLS !!....y'know= those creatures who were flying round seasides thousands of years before the prat with a knotted hanky on his head existed...some woman said one landed on her head,pinched her chips,and chased her up the beach...I wish I had that on video. To me the seagull is the most magnificent creation....it is perfection....and thankfully they are regarded as an endangered species so they can't be harmed...so keep that junk food covered up !!

The song this week is very educational...it is entitled *Greenfly in my Trusses" and was an idea I came up with back in the day when my mate the late Norman Thomas of Radio City commented that he was on his allotment and was horrified to find greenfly in his trusses....this began a series of incoming comments from the public with hilarious results...so I decided to write a song dedicated to him featuring all the problems you can have in a garden....the song is wonderfully performed by Peregrine Wilt (aka Paul Damian) and tells the story of love lost on a corporation allotment...the words might seem a bit odd but the details are accurate down to the last detail...listen to this and you could become a professional gardner. 2.Are we sick and tired of hearing about Trump and Teresa May or what?!!!...the guy gets hold of her hand to prevent her slipping BECAUSE THERE WAS A SLOPE that's it.....but oh no the media pile in making an issue out of nothing...and we've got demonstrations in the streets because Donald has been invited to meet the Queen...and none of the demonstrators have a clue why they are waving stupid banners around....they even have toddlers waving banners....there is NO hope......do they think her Maj gives a toss one way or the other?....or maybe they all think they might all get an O.B.E.?....who do they think they are - Ant and Dec?....as always the media just make matters worse. 3.The "scientists" have been at it again..."research" has uncovered the fact that primary school children learn more if...wait for it...they wear slippers....so along with their lunch they now bring in their fluffy footwear....it's only in one school at the moment as far as I can gather....so there you are...I wonder what happened to discipline?.... And Kodak must have shedloads of film left over since everyone bought digital cameras....they even made a classic statement to the effect that rolls of film are making a comeback....people are going out and buying FILM of their cameras...because FILM is better quality and "warmer" than digital.....what a load of tripe....as if we are going to buy rolls of film and PAY for it to be developed....nice try Kodak good luck with that one.....mind you the stupid demonstrators will probably fall for it. 4.We have obviously given up with Eurovision....this year the public have been subjected to a selection of songs sung by X Factor also rans.....and it's the viewers vote that counts friends....there was only one song which was almost bearable and needless to say that wasn't the one we voted for....oh dear....if the contest is judged on who can shout the loudest we are in with a chance....the girl is doubled over at one stage bellowing out the song.....I don't know why we bother....obviously someone is making money...probably Simon Cowell.....it's a big Nil Pwa from me. 5."Mothers" are OUT!!....they must now be called "Parents".....as in "expectant PARENT"....this is so the 1% of transgender parents are not offended....there is absolutely nothing I can add to this. It reminds me of the time when I was working for Merseyside County Council and the Trading Standards burst into a chip shop and told the owner he couldn't call his hamburgers hamburgers....as they did not contain ham....they were in fact "savoury rings"....so the guy put a huge notice in his window "OUR HAMBURGERS ARE NOW SAVOURY RINGS"....that's why Liverpool is such a great place.

The song this week is another Adrian Street classic from our recently re-released album "Shake Wrestle and Roll"...it is called "Something Very Strange About a Cowboy"....and poses one or two questions regarding their macho image......much to our delight. .....Piers Morgan was mouthing off in his opinionated way about the women marching for women's rights...and Ewan McGregor was supposed to come on the breakfast programme to talk about his latest film...but refused to appear with Piers as he disagreed with his comments...how pathetic is that?....his usual saracastic way...but for once I agree with his treatment of the situation...I don't think Ewan has done himself any favours. .......I went to The Empire last week to see a show and during the interval a couple came back from the bar with two plastic cups of white wine...they didn't look is too happy as they had been charged £17 !!!....how can this possibly be justified...it's daylight robbery...someone was telling me they went into a bar in London and were charged £21 for two drinks....someone's having a laugh...because of the bad crop due to climate change...what a load of tripe...but the sheep believe anything..because "experts" tell us.. ....RIGHT!!,,,toast is out!!...this is the latest from those hidden scientists who rack their brains all day trying to think of things to scare everyone...burnt toast can kill you apparently...also overdone chips can also kill you....y'know a bit like butter a few years ago....better to eat margarine...but that's all changed...butter is O.K. now...and marg can kill you....do these "scientists" get PAID for all this drivel?...I really do despair...could it be that we are buying too much sensibly priced bread and not being ripped off with the expensive stuff? ... .I have found a TV programme called "virtually famous" hosted by Chris Ramsey and it is really good...I've always rated Chris Ramsey but he never seemed to be given the right role...this is it...good light hearted stuff...also "Coach Trip" is back with Brendon doing his bit...good entertainment for a change.

I am subjecting you to another track from my recently re-released wrestling album....this is the title track "Shake Wrestle and Roll" which has been re-released in the States by Burger Records and is getting plenty of plays....all very strange as I haven't listened to it for 30 years (I wonder why?)....I wrote the whole album for wrestler Adrian Street back in the day and here we go again....and it's on VINYL!!.... It sure is a strange business. I had a few days up in The Lake District which was a nice break ...might as well be there in the drizzle as anywhere else...had a wander round Kendal which still bears the scars of last years floods but thankfully fully recovered....on returning we went to the Empire in Liverpool to see "The Commitments" which was musically very good...good live stuff...however the acting wasn't too clever as it was hard to pick up what they were saying and the strong Irish accents didn't help....fortunately I have seen the film so I knew the story...the niggle I've always had with this story is the brass section on the band has a trumpet and a sax....for me there has to be a trombone as well....it was the same in the film....but that's just me. A statue of Cilla has been erected outside the Cavern in Liverpool...it was unveiled in front of an enthusiastic crowd.....although the statue is very good it's not a particularly good likeness...whether that matters or not....it is similar to the one of Ken Dodd in Lime Street Station...that's not a good likeness either......at least they have put Cilla on the front of where the original Cavern was.....before the city geniuses knocked it down....a nice rags to riches story....not quite sure why it took so long...would have been nice while she was still around? At the time of writing we have the build up to Trump signing on....with half the nation protesting....as opposed to the other half had Hilary won...I don't know what they hope to achieve...this bad enough but what is really sad is the sheep in THIS country jumping on the bandwagon ridiculing a bloke who they know NOTHING about....everyone making wild assumptions....why not just WAIT AND SEE.....suddenly they go on about how wonderful Obama was..y'know...the bloke who was going to put us at the back of the queue....followed by all the knownothings spouting about how "Brexit" will never work....information they have heard from some politician who is panicking in case he loses his unearned fortune....the only chap who speaks ANY sense is Farage...we should make him Prime Minister AND president of the U.S.A. And finally....they had an article on the ITV morning show about women having babies late in life...they had a lady on who was in her fifties who had a 5 year old...she said she had to look after her mother for 17 years by which time she was 51 and thought she was too old to have a child but was successful...she said her only fear is that she may not see her child marry etc...but had experienced the joy of motherhood...a lovely polite intelligent lady....then in come the Emails at the side of the screen from the woodentops....thing like she is "selfish" and "having children late is unfair on the child"....what is it with these morons?...it has NOTHING to do with them and their shallow little lives during which they have achieved NOTHING....and there lies the problem.....FORTUNATELY for us ALL it was Thursday and Piers Morgan was replaced by Ben Sheppard....so we were spared an outburst from that idiot