Don Woods

The song I’ve sent you this week ....... I wrote and recorded as the B side to Beatle City which you played a while back….it was a vinyl single which the then Merseyside County Council Tourism Dept commissioned from me. It sold well and I think you’ll enjoy the sentiment. There has been a bit of an outcry regarding Cheryl Cole’s “live” performance on the X Factor…..fortunately I didn’t see it….it was alleged she was miming…but they deny it…COURSE SHE WAS MIMING…SHE CAN’T SING!!!....it’s as if it’s a big surprise….The X Factor proves you can kid most of the people most of the time… It’s Children In Need time again….I find all this stuff somewhat annoying year after year….Heavens above I hate the thought of ANY kiddie injured or starving….I help run a children’s charity myself every week…but when I hear the talentless Terry Wogan bleating on about how £2 can save a life etc…….why not have a collection from Jonathan Ross,Wogan,Beckham,all the politicians in their mansions,all the footballers…and those in charge of the forthcoming rail link…etc….PROBLEM SOLVED !!....the likes of these could solve the problem and not even miss the money. I was on about “nobility” last week….I think a lot of this “we’re above it all” attitude is on it’s way out…..I’ve always disliked the Golf Club mentality where everyone grovels around the captain…and sailing clubs with the”Commodore” etc….my band was a function band so I saw this sort of snoberry at close range from masonics to every kind of society….I naturally went along with it because I was getting PAID but I always found it hard to believe that some,not all,of these types really think they are above everyone else….however as the generations change these organisations are struggling to survive….local golf clubs here are offering a weeks golf for 15 quid….looks like modern youngsters wont put up with pomposity….good for them. .At the moment I seem to be in demand….I have been approached by an American film company who are making a documentary on North Wales and want to use my Llanfair P.G. song…no problems there as long as I appear in the credits….I was also approached by a record company who want to put out the songs I wrote for wrestler Adrian Street in the 80’s…they want to put an album out on coloured vinyl….I’ve sent them copies of the masters (after brushing off the cobwebs)…so that’s as far as I want to be involved….so seeing as I have all the songs (22 of them) I have decided to bring out a CD album myself….I’ve been in touch with Adrian and he’s sent me a load of hilarious photos which I will use on a promo video for YouTube…he told me that a drama company want to do a musical of his life story….is the world ready for this?

The song I’ve sent you is from an interesting period of my songselling activities. It was originally written for the Blackpool tourism dept and it was called “It’s Blackpool Magic”…they didn’t want it so I changed the lyrics to “Long Live The Isle of Man”…sent it to Norman Wisdom who lived over there ............ I was quite moved when I watched “Rock Around The Clock” on the TV recently….this was the film which changed the direction of my life in 1956 when I saw it on the pictures…it still has that same magic…as John Lennon once said “before rock and roll there was nothing”….what surprised me was one of Bill Haley’s Comets played an accordion…unbelievable…a classic film. As always there is the annual debate about bonfire night…WHY?... I was watching the programme they had on the guy who cracked the Enigma code…thus saving thousands of lives and helping to end the war…but oh no…that’s of no importance …HE WAS A HOMOSEXUAL!!... Nothing has changed in this country….as I always say it’s serfs and noblemen…if the Sheriff of Nottingham decided to extend his land he would have.......

The track I’ve sent you this week is frmo the album “Portrait of Wales” which I produced for my mate Paul Damian….. Went to The Floral Pavilion Thursday night to see “The Magic of Motown”…absolutely brilliant….packed house all on their feet…worth every penny. There was a Portuguese lady on one of the news programmes stating that the Brits are always complaining about foreigners coming into the country yet they are virtually taking over Portugal… On the same topic the police burst into Cliff Richard’s house (while he’s away on holiday) and ransacked it…. I’m back in touch with my mate Adrian Street….and recently we have been approached by an independent record company who want to put the stuff out there again…

The track I’ve sent you this week is called “The 4122” which was the last train down the Wirral way before they closed the line and converted it into the present footpath and cycle track. There can’t be enough to fill the news so the BBC have resorted to reporting “killer” mussels which are arriving in the Thames from foreign climes ..this together with “killer” shrimps which are already here it’s time to worry about this and not the threat from terrorists. I pay £285 road tax and there is a move afoot to ask people in local constituencies to volunteer to fill in potholes in the road…. The NHS have been on strike…first one in 35 years because Mr.Hunt has decided we can’t afford the ONE PERCENT wage increase they are asking for…says the man who will get a NINE percent rise. Mind you people who keep us alive can’t possibly be as important as a high speed rail link that no-one wants…and costs BILLIONS. My pal informed me he is making a will and against my advice he went to a solicitor…...even Dick Turpin wore a mask.

The song I have sent you this week is about everyone’s favourite lady Una Stubbs…...she said she was delighted with the song and THANKED me for the compliment…. After the recent Liverpool Everton Derby game a pal of mine told me that as the fans walked past his house there was an Everton supporter ..it’s a FOOTBALL MATCH…that’s all…but to some morons it’s warfare…........ There has been a lot of publicity surrounding “Trolling”… I recently watched John Lydon (aka Johnny Rotten) on morning TV... The BBC have recently been spending our licence fees on making serious attempts to promote classical music to the masses........

The song I’ve sent you this week is one I composed and produced in the 80s for the Scout Movement….”Scouts of The World”....As you know the scouts began in Birkenhead in 1908 by Baden Powell… I was again a bit taken aback by our wonderful legal system….Dave Lee Travis…who was cleared of 11 out of 12 sexual assault cases was found guilty of one INDECENT assault … On a similar note Stella McCartney has upset the feminist brigade by saying girls should be gentle and show their frailty instead of trying to prove they are just as good as any man… Last week we were discussing postal scams where people were told they have won a fortune and letting their greed get in the way of their better judgement…WELL…believe it or not I got one of these letters THIS WEEK… I watched a drama on the tele about a guy called Neil Baldwin who suffered with learning difficulties….it was a true story of how this guy dealt with the problem…amongst his many strange adventures he approached Stoke City FC and asked Lou Macari if he needed help…

.The song I've sent is one I wrote for wrestler Adrian Street and was one of the first records I made on my independent label...."I'm In Love With Me" We got so much mileage out of this minor "classic".. Despite the stick we took on this song Adrian went to live and work in the States and had a video made of the song which was played a lot on MTV. There has been a big issue here about people being scammed through the post... After the Scottish fiasco they are now talking about home rule for councils.. The "experts" are at it again....must be no news....it has been suggested that rugby players bathe separately after the match...otherwise they might get skin problems or boils etc.. It is the 20th anniversary of "Friends" which in my opinion was the best comedy series ever...consistently good and brilliantly written...

Thank goodness the Scottish referendum is over… This week I have found one of my ancient classic novelty songs which I composed for The Liverpool Health Authority. “The Exercise Song” went down really well….….it aint rock and roll but it’s close…. ....speaking of Liverpool did you see the drama about Cilla?...Rory Storm with black hair?...and The Beatles looked nothing like…a little bit more effort to detail would have been better. The BBC coverage of the Oscar Pistorious trial was ridiculous…........ Remaining on the subject of getting ripped off…my car tax is due…£285 a year… Sunday Night At The Palladium is back….which will sort the wheat out from the chaff… it’s now O.K. to have salt…it’s SUGAR that’s gonna see you off. .....and finally there was a short announcement regarding a space satellite which has landed successfully on a planet 250,000 miles away….and hey the surface was rougher than they thought…

I spent this afternoon on my kayak in Chester….it was paradise…so I thought I’d send you a tribute to this wonderful city which I composed many years ago…it was actually a B side of a vinyl…the A side was a song I did about Chester Zoo which I sold to the Zoo who used it on radio and TV adverts (handy royalties)…this is my original version of the song…the one I marketed to the Zoo was sung by a good friend of mine called Julie Bright who I used on a lot of my demos which required a female vocal…she was great. Bit of a panic going on around here regarding “necessary” financial cuts which have to be made because of cash shortage…this doesn’t seem to effect things down south as the politicians have awarded themselves a 9% wage increase…I’m so happy for them….no wonder Scotland want to get out of it all…this will be the news now for the next couple of weeks….I’m thinking of starting an “Independent Wirral” campaign…..I’ve never believed in aliens but when I look at our government I’m beginning to wonder. I’m delighted that the little lad with the medical problem is getting sorted out after his parents recent disgraceful ordeal…but WHY do they have to have BBC reporters outside the hospital in Spain and then in Prague?...just TELL us the news instead of giving these reporters a free holiday on the licence fee…same thing with the new royal baby….we have to sit and look at some reporter struggling to fill in the time outside the hospital…telling us NOTHING!!!....GIVE US SOME NEWS!!...or refund our licence!! The Tate Gallery in Liverpool is having an exhibition of modern art…hmm…I maybe totally wrong but I just don’t see four or five squares painted on a canvass as being art?...it’s rubbish….but the “experts” are all gathered round drooling over this stuff….I thought Tracy Emin’s unmade bed on display was pretty hard to take but this tripe…..I must be missing something….people can certainly get fooled these days. I remember years ago when someone put a canvass on the floor of a scrapyard and got kids to throw paint over it and ride their BMXs over it…the finished job was put on display and all the “experts” (who didn’t know haw it was produced) could see real “meaning” in this work of art…what a bunch of plonkers Did you see my mate Prince Harry on the news….they asked him about his thoughts on the new royal babba…he said he was delighted…and they then said this would take him further down the line for the throne…he just laughed and said “Yeah…GREAT!!”…..he is working with injured army guys and girls getting them into sport…you gotta love this lad.

After slating the X Factor last week I thought I’d have a look at the new series to see if had improved…horrendous…it’s even worse than ever. It’s the arrogance of the judges that gets me…Cheryl Cole and Mel B telling someone they are out of tune….rich coming from two talentless females who have spent their careers MIMING. The programme is a perfect example of the level of intellect of the British viewing public…I salute Cowell on cashing in on this. The news has been heavily covering the case of Ashya King…the little lad who was taken out of a hospital here and taken to Spain because the parents were not happy with the treatment here…because they took their kid without consent the wonderful legal system drags them through the courts and sends them in handcuffs to jail…is it me or is the world losing the plot?...to drag ANYONE through the courts is a dreadful ordeal…let alone innocent parents…at least the Spanish judge saw sense and tossed the case out….the whole thing was a disgrace and I hope the parents get a good solicitor and sue the lot of them !!! The EU strikes again!!....everyone is panic buying vacuum cleaners because the EU will soon be making a law to restrict the power to 900 watts or something….then it will be coffee perculators and microwaves etc…apparently this will save the planet…great stuff…here’s some facts while we are on the subject of the EU Pythagoras’s theorem had 29 words The Lords Prayer has 66 words Archimede’s Principle has 67 words The 10 Commandments has 179 words The Gettysburg address has 286 words The EU regulations on the sale of CABBAGES has…….29,911 words I rest my case They had a programme on Prince Harry at 30……no matter which way you swing with the Royals this lad has it all….what a guy…he does so much for so many charities and makes the rest of the Royals look a bit sad….great programme…I think it will open a lot of eyes…great example to his generation. The song I’ve sent you this week “The Story of Skiffle” is a tribute to where it all began…..it’s a song I wrote for a mate of mine (sadly passed away) round about 2000…..he played it to Chas McDevitt (of Freight Train fame) who suggested he sends it to Finland for the annual Skiffle Convention….which he did and we were invited to perform there….so we threw a skiffle group together and off we went…a great experience.