New Land Rover Defender - so damn sexy. Also, lemon of the year 2020 contender. Yessssss! And Land Rover ‘Straya - one of the more low-rent automotive brands in the country. Again. Still. Grubby attack on the freedom of speech, too.   

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Chris Garcha recently decided he had too much money and not enough pain in his motoring life. He fell in lust with a Defender and its rolling WiFi hotspot capability … so he dropped $95,000 on this regrettable infatuation.  That’s at least four years worth of inspirational - and very stern - some would say ‘merciless’ - flogging, at current market rates. Just saying.  Hilariously, despite the hotspot being advertised on Land Rover Shitsville’s website, it wasn’t actually fitted to, or available in, Mr Garcha’s Defender. Missed it by ‘that much’. The dealer offered him a WiFi dongle. It’s hardly the same thing.  Then they offered to swap the vehicle over for an MY22 Defender, at no cost, which apparently will have WiFi capability. If it ever gets here.  A War & Peace e-mail from a dude named ‘Anthony’ ensued - the team leader of the so-called Land Rover Shitsville Customer Relationship Centre. I do find it frankly remarkable that you can be a $100,000-ish customer, and yet not be entitled to know the name (like, the full name) of the person you’re dealing with at head office, whose core function is relationship restoration. Way to build a relationship, dickheads.  Bottom line - Land Rover can’t supply a replacement Defender for 18-24 months. They’re not prepared to let Mr Garcha drive his depreciating shitbox for that time, awaiting said replacement. And they can’t guarantee the specifications of the replacement in any case.  So, they offered Mr Garcha a refund of $95,000 and a $6000 ex-gratia payment - subject to him signing their filthy gag order. Essentially, this represents the refund Mr Garcha seems entitled to, under Consumer Law, because the product did not match the description and promises made about it by the manufacturer.  (Only, without any admission of fault by Land Rover or the dealer.) Plus $6000 to shut up about this for eternity, lest all of Land Rover’s lawyers come after Mr Garcha for damages, as only arsehole corporate lawyers can.  Remember: Land Rover is not being generous here. A full refund is a legislated consumer entitlement in these circumstances. Circumstances about which there appears to be no dispute. It seems to me Land Rover Shitsville is simply not above using its power to leverage Mr Garcha’s understandable dissatisfaction - and holding out a carrot in exchange for a gag. Seems asymmetric. And morally reprehensible.  The mafia does business this way, seemingly. Just change a few details and this becomes exactly the kind of deal you’d enter into with John Gotti. I’m trying to see an ethical dimension here. I really am trying to see a moral justification for giving Land Rover the benefit of the doubt, in relation to this conduct, and I am failing.