Don't Quote Us with Al and Val

Don't Quote Us with Al and Val

By Alani and ValeriaComedy
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Don't Quote Us with Al and Val episodes

  • The Cornell 7: Bystander Silence, Consent & Why Women Grow Up Afraid

    What happens when everyone knows something is wrong, but nobody speaks up?

    This week on Don’t Quote Us with Al and Val, we’re discussing the disturbing Cornell 7 case and the larger conversations it raises about consent, accountability, morality, and the consequences of remaining silent.

    We explore the psychology behind bystander behavior, the Good Samaritan theory, and why witnessing something harmful without intervening raises difficult questions about personal responsibility.

    We also discuss why conversations about consent, respect, and morality need to begin at home and continue throughout childhood for both boys and girls. How much of what we believe is genuinely our own, and how much has been shaped by our families, culture, and environment?

    From the safety precautions girls learn at an early age to the hypervigilance we once questioned in our parents but now understand, we examine the different ways men and women are socialized to navigate the world.

    We also ask why disturbing cases can feel like entertainment rather than real-life tragedies when we’re removed from the people experiencing them.

    This episode is about more than one case. It’s about the responsibility we have to one another, the beliefs we choose to challenge, and the importance of speaking up even when everyone else stays silent.

    Join Al and Val for a conversation about the Cornell 7, bystander behavior, consent education, women’s safety, and the psychology of silence.

    53 min
  • Why Is Everything So Embarrassing These Days?

    From recording TikToks in public to hearing our own voices on a voicemail, we’re talking about embarrassment, overthinking, and the fear of being perceived.

    This week on Don’t Quote Us with Al and Val, we’re unpacking the things that make us cringe and questioning why we care so much about what other people think. Val admits that almost everything embarrasses her, while Al somehow manages to feel embarrassed by her phone but not by being out in public.

    We get into the anxiety of creating content, the fear of receiving mean comments online, and why recording a simple voicemail somehow requires 15 takes. Plus, Val calls out Al’s avoidant tendencies and her commitment to living on Do Not Disturb, while Al questions whether butt-dialing is even possible in 2026.

    And because no conversation stays on track around here, we’re also discussing Al’s determination to eat all 12 grapes this New Year’s Eve in hopes of finding love, our childhood obsession with Club Penguin and Disney games, and the embarrassing prank calls we once thought made us cool.

    From social anxiety to childhood cringe, we’re asking ourselves: Are we actually embarrassed, or are we just afraid of being perceived?

    Join us for another episode of Don’t Quote Us as we attempt to embrace the cringe, stop overthinking, and finally get comfortable putting ourselves out there.

    1 hr
  • We Came Back, But We Didn't Go Back

    The “ber” months are officially here, but Al & Val have a few bigger things on their wish lists than Christmas presents.

    This week, we’re talking home buying, changing relationships with money, a long-awaited graduation, and the big milestones making life feel a little more real lately.

    We also reflect on finding our way back to our small town after once believing moving away meant moving forward; and realizing that coming home doesn’t mean going backward.

    Plus, soup season, fall TV binges, Lisa Vanderpump in Scottsdale, and the yearly reminder that Arizona time makes absolutely no sense.

    Turns out the “ber” months might be about more than slowing down. Sometimes they show you just how far you’ve come.

    43 min
  • Love Island Reunion Drama, Sydney Sweeney Backlash, Mormon Wives and Patrick Clancy

    This week, we’re catching up on the pop culture stories, reality TV moments, and internet debates everyone has been talking about. We start with the disappointing Love Island reunion, the mean girl behavior that stood out, and why the reunion didn’t live up to the season.

    Then we get into The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives and the measly five episodes we were given, our excitement for what’s coming next in reality TV, and the latest from Dancing with the Stars.

    Sports somehow took over the conversation too. We talk about influencers turning the US Open into their latest content destination and the controversy surrounding Sydney Sweeney’s ad, including the conversation it sparked about body image, female athletes, and the messages young women receive about what their bodies should look like. Football season is officially here, and while we may not be celebrating, we can at least appreciate that the men are occupied.

    We also discuss Patrick Clancy’s 60 Minutes interview and the continued conversation surrounding the Clancy case.

    Finally, it wouldn’t be Don’t Quote Us without things getting slightly unhinged. We wrap with some potty talk about the HYROX athlete who pooped herself mid-race, because apparently no corner of the internet is safe from our commentary.

    From Love Island and Mormon Wives to Sydney Sweeney, the US Open, Patrick Clancy, HYROX, and everything in between, we’re talking about the stories that made it into our conversations this week on Don’t Quote Us with Al and Val.

    1 hr 13 min
  • Why Virgos Become the “Strong Friend”: Overgiving, Control & Good Kid Syndrome

    We’re closing out Virgo season by asking a very Virgo question: why do we feel the need to be useful all the time?

    This week, Al and Val unpack the Virgo “strong friend” stereotype and the deeper patterns behind overgiving, struggling to receive, having a hard time asking for help, and automatically becoming the person who handles everything. We lightly dive into good kid syndrome and how being praised for being responsible, helpful, or low-maintenance can turn into protective behaviors we carry into adulthood.

    We also get into a harder truth: sometimes doing everything ourselves isn’t just independence. It can be a way of preventing people from disappointing us so we can preserve the relationship, or even the version of them we want to believe in.

    And because this is Don’t Quote Us, we obviously couldn’t end Virgo season without completely derailing the conversation. Somehow that includes Al accidentally using a child-sized toilet and Val making a passionate case for bidets.

    Come for the Virgo psychology. Stay for the potty talk. Don’t quote us.

    59 min
  • Your FYP Knows You Better Than You Think

    What does your For You Page say about you? This week, we traded TikTok FYPs to see just how different our algorithms really are, and apparently, TikTok knows exactly who it’s dealing with. From the videos that keep us scrolling to the completely different sides of the internet we’ve landed on, we’re breaking down what our feeds reveal about our personalities, interests, and sense of humor.

    It’s a shorter episode this week, but somehow our algorithms gave us plenty to talk about. Come compare FYPs with us and ask yourself: if someone saw your TikTok feed with zero context, what would they assume about you?

    37 min
  • Is It Big Enough For the Feed?

    When did posting on Instagram start feeling like it needed to be an announcement?

    Pregnancies. Engagements. Weddings. Graduations. New relationships. Big trips. Major milestones. Somehow, we got comfortable sharing the biggest moments of our lives while the smaller wins, random memories, proud moments, and everyday pieces of who we are get left in the camera roll.

    This week, Al and Val are talking about the pressure to be “feed worthy.” Why does a photo need to be aesthetic to deserve a permanent spot? Why does posting to Stories feel so much easier than posting to the feed? And when did we start asking ourselves, “Is this even big enough to post?”

    We also get into women taking up space online, the fear of being perceived, the comfort of disappearing posts, and how to find the balance between protecting your privacy and actually letting yourself be seen.

    Maybe your life doesn’t need to look perfect, aesthetic, or important enough to be worth sharing. Maybe being proud of it is enough.

    Don’t quote us, but maybe we should start posting the little things again.

    55 min
  • One Year of Don’t Quote Us!

    For our anniversary episode, we’re doing something we’ve never done before: Al & Val Take True Crime.

    This week, we’re diving deep into the Lindsay Clancy case, a devastating and complex case that has sparked major conversations about motherhood, postpartum mental health, psychiatric treatment, medication, and criminal responsibility.

    We walk through the timeline of the case and the events leading up to the deaths of Lindsay and Patrick Clancy’s three children, then take a closer look at the medications Lindsay was reportedly prescribed and the mental health concerns surrounding her treatment. We discuss what has been reported about her condition before the tragedy, the arguments presented by both sides of the case, and the details that stood out to us as we researched.

    And, of course, this wouldn’t be Don’t Quote Us without getting into our own questions and theories. We talk through what we think could have contributed to what happened, our own theories, and the pieces of the case that still leave us with questions.

    This conversation is our interpretation of publicly available information and includes our personal opinions and theories. It is not intended to diagnose anyone or present speculation as established fact.

    Content warning: This episode discusses the deaths of children, suicide, psychiatric medication, postpartum mental health, and other potentially distressing topics. Please listen with care.

    Thank you for spending an entire year with us. Whether you’ve been here since episode one or joined somewhere along the way, we’re so grateful you’re here. Here’s to year two of Don’t Quote Us. 

    1 hr 2 min
  • Ariana Grande, Perez Hilton & Hayden Panettiere: Celebrity Mental Health, Pop Culture News & Group Chat Chaos

    This week on Group Chat, we’re unpacking the pop culture stories that had everyone talking: from celebrity mental health and the pressure of public scrutiny to some of the wildest internet moments of the week. 

    We’re talking about Ariana Grande stepping back and the renewed conversation around celebrity mental health, body commentary, and why fans and the public need to be more mindful about judging celebrities’ appearances and personal lives.Then, Perez Hilton’s shocking TikTok leaves the internet concerned, sparking a conversation about mental health, social media, and what happens when a celebrity personality suddenly has people wondering if they’re okay. We also discuss the tragic loss of Hayden Panettiere, reflecting on the complicated realities of fame, addiction, grief, and mental health, plus a brief but important conversation about postpartum mental health and the Lindsay Clancy case.

    And because this is Group Chat Recap, we’re balancing the heavy conversations with some much-needed chaos: the TikTok trend about why we absolutely would NOT survive in a war, the latest internet nonsense, and Val finally watching Vanderpump Rules (yes, FINALLY).

    In this episode:

    • Ariana Grande, celebrity mental health & body-shaming
    • Why celebrities deserve privacy and compassion
    • Perez Hilton’s concerning TikTok
    • Remembering Hayden Panettiere
    • Postpartum mental health & the Lindsay Clancy case
    • TikTok’s “we are NOT fit for war” trend
    • Val finally enters the Vanderpump Rules universe
    • The latest pop culture news, internet drama & Group Chat chaos


    Listen, subscribe, and join the conversation!
    If you love pop culture news, celebrity gossip, TikTok drama, reality TV, Vanderpump Rules, and unfiltered group-chat commentary, you’re in the right place.

    1 hr
  • The Friendship Audit: Are Your Friendships Actually Good for You?

    It might be time to audit your friendships.

    In this episode of Audit August, we’re looking beyond how long you’ve been friends with someone and asking a harder question: How does this friendship actually make me feel?

    We’re talking about performative friendships, one-sided effort, unspoken competition, and the relationships where you find yourself shape-shifting depending on who you’re around. We break down the difference between friendships that leave you feeling supported and energized versus the ones that consistently leave you feeling drained, insecure, or like you have something to prove.

    We also get into what it looks like when the effort isn’t equal, how to recognize the difference between a friend who genuinely supports you and one who may be quietly competing with you, and why history alone isn’t always a good enough reason to keep a friendship the same.

    Consider this your friendship audit: Who gets the real version of you? Who pours back into you? Where are you overextending yourself? And which friendships might need stronger boundaries, a different level of access, or an honest conversation?

    Because auditing your friendships doesn’t automatically mean cutting people off. Sometimes it means getting honest about what the relationship actually is.

    In this episode:

    • Performative vs. authentic friendships
    • Shape-shifting and losing yourself in friendships
    • Draining vs. energizing relationships
    • One-sided friendships and unequal effort
    • Supportive friends vs. competitive friends
    • Friendship boundaries and changing levels of access
    • Outgrowing friendships without making someone the villain
    • Questions to ask during your own friendship audit


    Part of our Audit August series on Don’t Quote Us with Al and Val.

    44 min

About Don't Quote Us with Al and Val

From the publisher's feed

Two girls giving opinions no one asked for. Some episodes get deep and others go off the deep end.