Don't Quote Us with Al and Val

Don't Quote Us with Al and Val

By Alani and ValeriaComedy
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Don't Quote Us with Al and Val episodes

  • Why Are We So Bad With Money? | Audit August

    It’s Week 2 of Audit August, and we’re asking a question a lot of us have probably wondered at some point: Why are we so bad with money? 

    The answer is a lot more complicated than “just make a budget.”

    This week, we’re auditing our money habits and digging into the psychology behind how we spend, save, avoid, and stress about money. We talk about how our childhood experiences shape our relationship with finances, why financial stress can affect our mental health, how emotional spending and avoidance become coping mechanisms, and why knowing what we should do with money doesn’t always mean we actually do it.

    We’re also breaking down the financial education many of us wish we got sooner. What does APR actually mean? How does credit card interest work? Why can minimum payments keep you in debt for years?

    Track your spending for seven days and ask yourself one question after every purchase: Why did I buy this? Then take a look at your debts, APRs, and recurring expenses and choose one small financial action to take this week.

    No shame. No “stop buying coffee” lecture. Just two friends trying to understand their money a little better.

    Welcome to the Money Audit

    59 min
  • Audit August: Is Your Life Actually Working?

    Welcome to Audit August! 

    This month, we’re challenging ourselves, and all of you, to take an honest look at the areas of life that often run on autopilot. Instead of trying to become completely different people overnight, we’re asking one simple question:


    Is the life we’re building actually working for us?


    In this week’s episode, we’re kicking off the series with a Life Audit. Using the Life Wheel, we rate different areas of our lives, including: physical & mental health, sleep, finances, career, relationships, family & friendships, confidence, free time, purpose & personal growth. 

    We share the areas where we’re thriving, the areas that need more attention, and the honest conversations that came from rating ourselves.

    We also talk about: What gives us energy and what quietly drains it and whether our time and habits truly reflect our priorities.


    This episode is an invitation to pause, reflect, and reset. Whether you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or simply ready for a fresh start, we hope you’ll join us for Audit August and complete your own Life Audit alongside us.


    This week’s challenge is simple. Rate your own Life Wheel, identify one thing to keep, one thing to cut, and one thing to start. We’d love to hear what you discover, so send us a message or share your biggest takeaway with us.


    Here’s to building a life that feels intentional, one audit at a time

    1 hr 1 min
  • Love Island Finale Recap: Winners, Drama, Million Dollar Nannies & Our Wildest Takes

    Love Island is officially over, and we have a lot to say. In this week’s Group Chat Recap, we’re breaking down the Love Island finale, sharing our thoughts on the winners, the biggest moments of the season, and what we’ll be watching now that the villa has closed its doors.

    We also dive into Million Dollar Nannies, dream about the cosmetic procedures we’d get if money were no object, and somehow end up talking about Buc-ee’s sponsorships, skinny jeans, and Al’s controversial opinion that pecans are the worst nut. Plus, this is our first episode wearing clip-on mics instead of holding them—and let’s just say it took some getting used to.

    In this episode:

    • Love Island finale recap and our biggest takeaways
    • What we’re watching after Love Island
    • First thoughts on Million Dollar Nannies
    • Cosmetic procedures we’d get with unlimited money
    • Al gets roasted by her teenage clients for wearing skinny jeans
    • Our dream Buc-ee’s sponsorship
    • The Great Pecan Debate

    Follow us on Instagram @lifewithalandval and let us know: Were you happy with the Love Island winners? What should we recap next?

    1 hr 8 min
  • We Need to Talk About Our Spending

    Being a girl is expensive... and apparently, so is trying to buy a house.

    This week, we're having an honest conversation about our spending habits, the little purchases that add up, and how we're trying to be more intentional with our money.

    As we get closer to 30, we're realizing that every little purchase is either getting us closer to our goals or further away from them. We're talking about the small habits we're changing, the "little treats" we're rethinking, and what it looks like to choose long-term dreams without giving up the joy of being girls.

    Because this isn't about never treating yourself, it's about making room for the future we're dreaming about while still enjoying the present.

    If you've ever looked at your bank account and wondered where all your money went... this one's for you.

    1 hr
  • Friendship Breakups, Petty Conflict, & Why Adult Friendships Are So Hard

    This week we’re getting honest about conflict...the kind that happens online, in friendships, and within ourselves as we get older.

    From arguing with strangers on Facebook to navigating disagreements with the people we love most, we’re unpacking how our approach to conflict has changed over the years. We also open up about the heartbreak of losing female friendships, the challenge of building deep friendships as adults, and how relationships can shift when life starts pulling everyone in different directions.

    We even share a recent conflict in our own friendship, talk about the pressure of watching friends get married and have kids, and laugh about why turning 30 somehow makes pregnancy feel like a teenage pregnancy.

    If you’ve ever struggled with confrontation, mourned a friendship that ended, or wondered if everyone else has life figured out except you, this conversation is for you.

    Don’t forget to follow, rate, and share the episode with someone who’s been through it too.

    1 hr 8 min
  • We're Not Really Strangers

    We put our friendship to the test with We’re Not Really Strangers; a game that’s all about honest conversations, unexpected questions, and seeing if two best friends really know each other.

    From laughing at our answers to getting surprisingly vulnerable, this episode reminds us that no matter how long you’ve known someone, there’s always more to discover.

    Grab your best friend, play along, and let us know: Which question would’ve completely exposed you?

    1 hr 4 min
  • Our First Video Episode| Unfiltered Conversations & Chaos

    Welcome to our first-ever video episode!

    After so many audio episodes, we finally turned the camera on...and honestly, this episode is exactly what you'd expect from us. We bounce between random stories, questionable opinions, and plenty of laughs.

    Think of this as a chance to get to know us beyond the microphones. If you've been listening for a while, you'll finally get to put faces to the voices. And if you're new here, this is probably the most authentic introduction you'll get.

    So grab a snack, settle in, and come hang out with us. Just don't quote us!

    44 min
  • Love Island USA Season 8: Bombshells, Betrayals & First Impressions

    We're diving into the first few episodes of Love Island USA Season 8 and there is already plenty to unpack. From the initial couplings and surprise bombshell arrivals to early red flags, unexpected connections, and villa drama, we're breaking down all the biggest moments so far. Which couples seem genuine? Who's playing the game? And which Islanders are already becoming fan favorites (or villains)? Tune in as we recap the chaos, share our hottest takes, and predict what's coming next in the villa.

    56 min
  • Is Marriage Worth It? Our Honest Debate

    In this episode, Al and Val tackle one of their biggest disagreements yet: marriage. Al isn’t convinced that a legal marriage is necessary for a happy, committed relationship, while Val dreams of the traditional wedding and believes marriage still matters.

    The conversation dives into:

    • Whether marriage is still relevant today
    • Legal marriage vs. lifelong commitment
    • The weddings we imagine for ourselves
    • Our thoughts on having children
    • How social media influences expectations around relationships
    • What we’ve learned from our married, divorced, and single friends
    • The pressure to follow a traditional timeline

    Whether you’re divorced, married, engaged, dating, or questioning the whole institution, this episode explores what commitment looks like in today’s world.


    1 hr 8 min
  • Raised by Different Worlds

    How much of who we are today was shaped by the families who raised us?

    In this episode, Al and Val reflect on growing up in very different family environments and how those experiences influenced their views on love, relationships, conflict, and connection. From married parents versus a single-parent household to adoption, grief, and the loss of grandparents, we explore the lessons we learned (both intentionally and unintentionally) from the people around us.

    We talk about the relationship patterns we carried into adulthood, how our families modeled love and communication, and the ways childhood experiences continue to show up in our friendships, dating lives, and sense of self. This conversation is honest, personal, and a reminder that our stories may shape us, but they don’t have to define us.

    ✨ In this episode:

    • Generational differences in parenting
    • Married parents vs. single-parent households
    • Adoption and identity
    • Grief and losing grandparents
    • How we witnessed love and conflict growing up
    • Relationship patterns we learned from family
    • Healing, self-awareness, and breaking cycles

    If you’ve ever wondered why you love the way you do, this episode is for you.


    1 hr 6 min

About Don't Quote Us with Al and Val

From the publisher's feed

Two girls giving opinions no one asked for. Some episodes get deep and others go off the deep end.