Don’t Scare the Newbies!

It's time for another kinky movie night, and for the second time in a row kirizal suggested something slow paced and arty that S isn't all the way sold on! This time it's The Piano Teacher, talking about how sadism and masochism are explored in a way that is separate from negotiated and consensual kink, an interesting twist on corruption themes, and how this movie invites the viewer to experience isolation, disconnection, and discomfort right along with its characters. Plus, the notorious and ambiguous ending, the uncomfortable questions it forces the audience to ask, and the shifting balances of power.

Content Note: Major spoilers for The Piano Teacher throughout, in depth discussion of sexual violence, abuse (including emotional incest). Due to the content and themes of the movie, discussion around whether or not a scene depicting sexual violence is or is not non-consensual and ambiguous/extremely dubious consent. Self harm mention. Mentions of real life abuse history.

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials and O/our merch at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

What goes into planning for a public play event? In this episode, kirizal and S talk about the considerations for planning a public scene - fetiquette, rules, equipment, time, and the role of the audience - love the attention or terrified of it, they’re there! Then, W/we get into some actual planning - see how W/we plan four days worth of scenes for an upcoming event, including the much anticipated second interrogation.

Content Note: Discussion of breath play, blood play, consensual non-consent play including simulated sexual assault, burns, and historical torture

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials and O/our merch at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

This week, kirizal and S are talking periods. While period sex doesn't necessarily have to be a kink, it can be - and W/we talk about what this does for U/us. S shares why They took a while to get on board with getting bloody, W/we talk about the impact of misogyny on how periods and period sex are seen, and the emotionally masochistic intersection of dysphoria and pleasure for kirizal. Plus - period sex isn't gross... BUT. How W/we get gross and degrading in O/our play.

Content Notes: Discussion of blood play (other than periods), sexual coercion/pressure in relationships, and brief mention of CNC and fantasies about sexual assault.

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials and O/our merch at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

This week’s guests are Duncan, one of the founders of Newcastle Leathermen, and Tea, a bootblack and Newcastle Leathermen’s first nonbinary member. Plus Tea’s partner popping in with an occasional comment! O/our guests share the power of community, culture differences between Leather communities and the Fetlife-based kink scene, visibility and how Newcastle Leathermen navigate venues and social media, bootblacking and why this role is so valued, and an overview of Leather history and its impact.

Find out more about Newcastle Leathermen at https://www.newcastleleathermen.com/

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials and O/our merch at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

This week, kirizal and S are chatting about sexual orientation - from O/our coming out stories (one at 14, and one at 41!), kirizal’s multiple coming outs and the pan vs bi distinction, T4T dating, and whether O/our kink identities are a part of sexual orientation for U/us. Plus - outsourcing the terrifying task of talking to women, hot takes from S and the usual soapbox moments from kirizal.

Content Note: Discussions of homophobia and biphobia

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials and O/our merch at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

Adult babies Jen and Tealeaves sat down with kirizal and S this week to share their experiences - through all the noise of stigma and misconceptions, they share the authenticity and joy of little space, kink as a core part of identity, the intimacy of vulnerability, and lots more. Plus - censorship and recent legal challenges, a fascinating diversion into inducing lactation, and Jen's plans to make an ABDL romcom (W/we are already so sat - someone please, fund it!).

Content Note: Detailed discussion of diaper wearing and use, kinkshaming and stigma, and some conversation about misogyny and transphobia as elements of kink play.

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials and O/our merch at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

And visit @Tealeaves_ on Fetlife, and @Jenby_Doll on Fetlife and X Videos

It's Pride Month, so in the first of O/our queer focused episodes kirizal and S jump straight in with the annual discourse topic, does kink belong at Pride? W/we also chat about O/our first Prides, the commercialisation and coorporate involvement in Pride season, bystander consent, children and families at Pride, purity culture and the very British fear of acknowleding sex, and lots more! kirizal also manages to make S feel "a bit sick" which, given some of the stuff that they say on a regular basis, is quite impressive.

There's a bit of a hum in the background of part of this one - mainly at the start and fades pretty quick once it gets going - once again technology has been vexing U/us. Apologies!

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials plus O/our merch at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

After the S-heavy long distance episode, W/we thought it was kirizal's turn to have the spotlight and dive into one of their specialist topics - addiction and recovery. kirizal spent most of their 20s battling mental health issues which spiralled into drug dependency and a crisis that almost cost them their life. In this episode W/we talk about that journey through into recovery, unmasking the darker side of 12 step programs, and kirizal's post-recovery life and the shift to a recovery-capital based moderation approach. But what does that have to do with kink? W/we talk about pleasure-seeking as a coping mechanism, neurodiversity crossovers, self-medicating of shame, and the complex relationship people can have with control and surrender. Plus, at the centre of it all connection - the healing power of community.

Content Note: This is an emotional one - detailed discussion of drug use including intravenous drug use, overdose, suicide attempt, suicide, pet death, transphobia, shame, "13th stepping" sexual abuse, domestic violence and sexual assault within 12 step groups.

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

Lana and Edward join kirizal and S to give U/us an introduction into the wild world of erotic hypnosis. Navigating censorship to find resources, what appeals about the closest thing to magic and mind control that people can tap into, favourite experiences and riskiest mistakes, managing risk, and an overview of how it works. This episode may have unlocked a new kink for U/us - and offers a fascinating insight into an often hidden area of kink.

Content Note: Discussion of psychology heavy play including false perception of serious injury, inability to recognise a partner, and reduced intelligence General themes of mind control and heavy consensual non-consent. Discussion of high risk play and ethically grey areas.

Check out @HipHypnotist on Fetlife for resources on hypno play

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

Once again kirizal and S are watching a movie, and James Spader is playing a pervert (with hair)! This week W/we're discussing the 1996 movie Crash - but if you haven't seen it, come on in, the plot is light and the episode gets deep! W/we're here for the controversy and censorship that surrounded Crash on release, the intersection between sex, technology, and urban isolation, and asking the question does representation matter when fetishism is portrayed so far outside reality? Plus - what is non-diagetic kink, what can Crash tell U/us about how the eroticisation of a universal threat works, and a look at intensity as a kink in itself.

Content Note: This episode contains - as you might expect - discussion of car crashes, including injuries and fatalities. W/we also discuss consensual non-consent play including simulated sexual assault, fantasies about sexual assault, and misogyny.

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies